Psalm 138

As I wait on Him, He speaks through His Word.

Psalm 138
Of David.

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise.

I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.

When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.

May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD,
when they hear the words of your mouth.

May they sing of the ways of the LORD,
for the glory of the LORD is great.

Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes,
with your right hand you save me.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.

It's a GIRL!!

Congrats to Kenny and Sue Yap!! Their baby girl Chloe Yap Huey Ern-was born today at 12.52pm at Sunway Medical Hospital.
Mum and daughter are doing well.. "The baby's 3.21kg" - proclaims the happy daddy..

Waiting...

Discovered that there are complications with my visa on Monday... Was just rather disorientated since Monday afternoon when I received the call from Uncle Lawrence to go to the embassy. To cut the long story short, was running around like a headless chicken to get the necessary documents and to prepare letters as well..

To be honest, I have been somewhat discouraged by the turn of event at times... I think that I just can't stand the wait.. I have continually surrendered it to God and am fine even if I don't go.. But it's the wait that's getting to me- should I start packing or wait for the results? What should I do Lord?? Am just so confused.. Do You or don't You want me to go?? And here I thought that You were opening doors for me so I could not only catch up with family and old friends but to minister to some of them as well... Is this of You or not?

But am encouraged to know that many of my family and friends are praying for me-many in Australia as well as Malaysia.. Some have even said that they are feeling 'kan chiong' on my behalf and are waiting with bated breath for the results too. Another friend said that she lost sleep over it last night. My prayer partner prayed with me over Yahoo Messenger - first time I have ever done that - and I just felt so comforted and lifted up... Am touched by the care and concern that many have shown me in this time...

Dear God,
Thank You for absolutely fantastic family and friends who are such a comfort from You in this time.. Help me to be patient and to wait and trust in You a whole lot more in this matter. Open the doors that You want opened and shut the doors that You want shut. Grant me peace and strength..
Abba Father, I look to You.

Scramblings...

Got majorly sidetracked yesterday..
So I find myself scrambling to finish a lot of work today- my fault I guess.. :P
Have written about 20 emails today.. Not as much as Tuesday(I think I typed about 30)..
On top of that, I am doing my itinerary and report on the side.
Managed to get the tracts that Ps Tay from Australia wanted - only to find out he wanted more stuff from the same store when I got back *sigh*...
Then again, I'm happy cos I managed to help OM(Operation Mobilisation), my all time favourite missions organisation (I'm biased-my mum and dad was in OM before) to get ppl to help them today.. So I'm glad I can contribute a bit towards that in the midst of my busy-ness...
At least I've started my report to the church leaders on Tung Ling -it's just been taking me a really long time to get down to it :P.. Will have to finish it before I go... Managed to sort out a small part of my itinerary in Melbourne too..
Tonight, am planning to get a haircut and rush home to do some more Bible Study on Romans...
Oh! what a life I lead!
OK back to the fray..

Dear God,
Grant me strength and teach me to continually rest in You. Teach me to do a LOT for You and yet include You in everything I do and to grow in You...
*sigh* it looks like I'm going to have to scramble all worship preparations into tomorrow.

MBTI

Am talking to fiona..
Decided to take the MBTI test. Found out I was a ESFJ- same as Fiona.. pretty funny..
Explanation of the profile
http://keirsey.com/personality/sjef.html
http://typelogic.com/esfj.html

Preparation for Hillsong!

It's almost 5pm... still have heaps to do but I thought that I'll just blog something about my hillsong preparation...
I so can't believe it, I'll be leaving for Australia next Saturday (2nd July!!!)... Have almost been 3 years since I last left.. AM SO LoOking forward to see my friends again(Elizabeth, John, Johann,Vern Li, Poh Lyn, David, Karen, Adeline), my family(tuaku and aunty Margaret and Joseph), Uncle and Aunty Sharon and just go down memory lane and just visit old haunts again. Am also looking forward to worshipping in my old church- Richmond AOG.. Really love the worship atmostphere there- we get ppl from 26 ethnic background worshipping there every Sunday and it's just so awesome!

In the meantime, have so much to do! Preparation for my absence is just so NO JOKE! Have to inform ppl in 3 ministries that I'm involved -
Missions Dept: Do seminar stuff this Saturday and just inform everyone I'll not be around next week
Cross Gen: Rush up to finish Bible study questions for Romans during the two Fridays that I'm not around.
Worship Ministry: Buy all the stuff(tracks, booklets, shopping) for Hillsong for Ps Tay, Buy the baby gift for Ta Shing before I go, still finish my weekly duties and preparations for Sunday worship, prepare for Sunday Worship on the weeks I'm absent, ensure all the hillsong tags arrive, and the list goes on and on and on and on.

On the side, still have to arrange my flight ticket from Sydney to Melbourne..
Send my itinerary to my friends and family there..
Get a haircut, get a backpack, start packing my stuff, start getting gifts for friends and family there.. *sigh*
It just never ends.. Am so looking forward to the 9th of July when I finally reach Melbourne and get a much needed holiday!

Dear God
Help me through this time. THanks for being here with me.

My outing at Seremban with my Tung Ling friends

Praise God that I'm feeling considerably better.. My spirits are much brighter too.. Quite a big contrast to my last week's overall mood.
Went to Seremban yesterday to visit Vivienne, check out her church -FGT Seremban, had the famous Seremban beef noodles (it was my first time and it was quite yummy actually), bought Seremban Siew Paus.
I generally had a great time hanging out with some of my Tung Ling friends again.. Sue Min, Fiona, Sally, Vivienne, Andy, Eiran and Jan Sen were all there. Had great fun just catching up with one another, telling jokes (Andy's was especially just bad).. We had that outing cos Sally's going back to Kuching next week after being trained by Pastor Elisha as requested by her pastor in Kuching.
Mum was just against the trip cos she was worried about my health and she really wants to see me get well before I go to Aussie next week for the Hillsong conference.
Sue Min picked me up at 11.00am. By the time we fetched Eiran (BU), Fiona, (OUG), Jan Sen (Puchong) and met up with Andy and Sally at Bukit Jalil, it was already 12.30pm! We parked Sue Min's car somewhere nearby and then we all hopped into Andy's van and off we were to Seremban!
We went to Terminal One, as instructed by Vivienne and somehow ended up going around Seremban town just because we were looking for parking!! To cut a long story short, we ended up at Terminal One, a shopping mall, and walked around while waiting for Vivienne. We saw a poster of Laura there in a school uniform and just had some hillarious laughs along the way..
Vivienne met us, we then went to eat lunch (the time now was about 3pm) - Seremban beef noodles. After that we went to get some siew paus(which is quite yummy!), saw Vivienne's church and ended up at her place at about 5pm. We left at about 6pm after chilling out at her room, listening to a string orchestra recording that she conducted in school, swapped jokes and just had a great time of fellowship. We finally left at about 6pm, dropped everyone else home and I just got in time for my 8.30pm meeting at Adrian Ng's which went pretty well.
By the time I got home at about 11.30pm, I must say that it was pretty satisfying off day. *BIG GRIN*.

Dear God,
Thank You for yesterday and the fellowship I had with my friends. I pray for Sally who'll be going off next week that you continually watch over her and bless her.

Molding, shaping..

Must say that this past week have prolly been one of the toughest week for me. It’s been pretty frustrating because the flu had just really got to me.
I went to see the doctor (I rarely see the doctor when I’m sick unless it’s really bad), took my medications faithfully, ensured that I slept at least 9 hours every night, took ½ hour naps during lunch time, ate non-fried stuff (Really tough for me- I must confess that I just love fried stuff) and kept up just taking healthy foods only.. :P
I’m finally much better after almost a week of torture – though my nose has not totally recovered and my cough is still there (though less frequently today – praise God!!)..
I found that my sickness in body just really affected my spirit as well… Was just quite down in spirit and was bombarded with depressing thoughts especially in terms of ministry.
Am just so glad that I’m feeling much better today. Ps Kenneth Chin came to Cross Gen and spoke on mentoring last nite. As usual, his preaching really spoke to me in a powerful way. A few things stick out in my mind.

- Christian means to be “little Christs”. When ppl see me, do they see Christ in me??
- Christ wants to continually build my character
- Mentoring is - that you have spiritual sons/daughters and produce ppl that can do the job better than you –if not better. The mentoring relationship is a really beautiful one-but can be difficult to be in as it's part of molding your character. There needs to be submissiveness and teachability. While Ps Kenneth was speaking, I just reflected on this and am so glad that I have this relationship with Sue Ann. It’s just helped me to grow a lot in the past half year. We guess that we just now have to work on the rebuking each other bit. :P
- Caring for people is very important. When you care, you will make that extra effort. When you care, strategies for ministry will come out. This has always been one of my greatest struggle. Sometimes, I’ve wished that I didn’t care so much – so passionately and intently. I’d get less hurt this way. During my lowest, I’d find it hard to accept that God has made me thus. Many are the times, I’d wish that I could be like some ppl around me who seemingly don’t care all that much about what they do-how they affect others with their actions. Someone close to me occasionally says “Don’t be so seriouslaa, Always so stressed”. But I just can’t help it. I’m serious because I care – that’s just the way He made me. After last night, God reminded me that it’s great to be the way He made me... Seriousness and all.

Dear God,
Thank You for this past week, tough-though it's been -cos I know that you're continually molding me to be like You. Thank You just speaking to me. Never let me go.

Bad cough, bad flu

That's what the doctor say...

Am feeling heaps better after spending almost two days in bed..
Though that has barely made a dent in the cough and flu...
Hope I get better soon.

Sit, Walk, Stand

Flu's being contained today.. Apart from the occasional sneezing and sniffing.. It's not so bad - so far at least.
At least my body's not feeling so crappy today too...

Am currently reading "Sit, Walk, Stand" by Watchman Nee(my current hero of faith). It about Ephesians... It's just relevant right now as I study through the book of Romans- helps to consolidate my doctrines and just a great reminder of how I need to "sit" and rest so much more before I walk and stand.

FLU coming!!! Arrgghhh!!

*Sigh*..
Am getting a flu today! Just started sniffing and sneezing during lunch time..
I can't afford to get sick this week (I can't afford to get sick at all! there's heaps to do as usual)... I'm worship leading this weekend!
I've been getting at least 8-9 hours sleep the past two days and yet- doesn't seem to be doing much to heal it!! Aaarrrggghh..
Am frustrated because am feeling bleary and I therefore seem to be working half my normal speed.. plus I spend a lot of time trying to recall things because my mind's just going blank.. *sigh*.. I can't even finish the report that was due today -am just so not up to it..
But my time with Him was great today - though I was feeling really sleepy. Was refreshed for a short while and my spirit found rest - despite my body feeling crappy and pulling my spirit down earlier in the morning.
AM just looking forward to go home to SLEEP and sleep and sleep (heheh-now sounding like Eiran and Jan Sen)...

Dear God,
Thanks for that wonderful time that I had with you in this morning.. Please heal my body-before my flu gets worse so that I can lead Your people into worship - if not, please prepare Jason to take over(hahahah)..

Ramblings

Am in a somewhat contemplative mood - as you can see from my previous entry. Somehow, when I'm in this mood, it doesn't dispell as fast as would like it to..
It also means that I'll tend to be slightly moodier and broodier than usual.. :P
So unless you're really funny to me today... I'll probably not speak much.. Cos of the lot of stuff in my mind..
Am seriously confused how ppl can be really unwise(I have a stronger word in mind but I think I'll just not write it!) in their judgements and how it just really affects other ppl. Ok.. maybe I'm complaining because I'm the "other ppl"... And how I totally hate to be involved in this kind of stuff.. It's the 'S' (one of the D,I,S,C temperaments) in me that hates all these things.. Just like my world to be peaceful and calm.. Part of me just want to complain "WHY GOD?????!!!"... The other part of me's going "why does that person have to be so vindictive and hurt everyone??" *sigh*
Then again, someone wisely told me, it's seriously a spiritual battle going on..

Dear God,
In the name of Jesus, I speak life into the situation. God of all wisdom, please grant me some - to know how to deal with this situation as well as not to brood in it.
Please heal my cough too as I know it's not helping the situation much and adds already to the distress in my body.
Thank You Jesus for caring for me in all situations...

Little puzzles

It's amazing how a phone call can make my day.. And at the same time, another phone call can be so awkward..

Am also amazed that how some things told in confidence is just 'blabbed'(for want of a better word) just because the person is mad at the other and justifies it by saying "it's their fault". Sheesh... I pray that I won't be like that. *sigh* life can be so complicated at times.

It's then amazing how God uses some ppl to cheer me up and others to 'make me sad'.

Reuben Morgan, weekend activities...

Am just posting this while Reuben Morgan and his band are just jamming and doing their sound check for their Worship Event here in about 2 hour's time(Yes- I can hear it from all the way here!!!!).
Am trying to drown out their noise with my music over my computer speakers- to no avail I might add!
Am trying to upload my Tung Ling photos into my multiply site (http://ruthng.multiply.com).. Am getting slightly tired of all the editing of photos and deciding what to upload and am taking a break...
Am trying to figure out what I'm suppose to do for the next half hour before my ushering meeting in half an hours.

Such is my life- so many things happening at once! But again, knowing that I'm walking in the center of my father's will while doing all these things just makes me feel really contented..

Speaking of many things happening at once.. Am so happy that am meeting some of my Tung Ling friends tonite! Fiona, Andy, Ps Wah Lok and Chin Yee(I think.. ) will at least be here-besides the two E's(As Ezra calls Ewe Jin and Eiran *hehehehe*). Yay!! Though he can't make it tonite, Ezra made my day cos he sent me an email!!! *BIG GRIN*

Thought that I'd better post that the past two days have just been really crazy but good in so many ways..
On Saturday, we didn't go through a lot of Romans as I thought we would. We just did about an hour's worth of reviewing and then Sue Ann realised the meeting was at 5-not 5.30 so we had to rush off to Acts Church.. Am very glad I went- was really blessed during the worship. Was really warmly welcomed too... Just fell in love with the warmness of the ppl there.... We also had dinner with Ps Kenneth Chin, Ps Sandra, Alex and another of their full time worker until 10pm..
Sue Ann and I went to have some buble tea after that and discussed Ps Kenneth's sermon... It really ministered to me in so many ways.. While discussing, we realised that we needed to work on the agenda and so abandoned the thought of continuing studying the book of Romans.. We had some discouraging moments and were stumped about the Cross Gen Leader's meeting agenda and decided to get the help of someone very wise - my mum!
Was glad we did so.. We prayed a lot and discussed until 3 in the morning of what we should do with the Cross Gen leaders on Sunday.. We had a lot of great inputs from my mum too..
Got really zonked out by the time I went to bed and really struggled getting up at 8.30 to go to church! Church service was great the next day with some confirmation of what we were going to do in the afternoon. Our leaders meeting was held at 12.30pm in the afternoon and it went on until 7pm in the evening.... Some of us also went for dinner after that and it was almost 10pm by the time I got back.. Praise God that the meeting went so well!! I believed that God' just doing something great in Cross Gen.

My dear Father in Heaven,
I continually thank You for all that You're doing in my life, for Your guidance, the way You speak to me at so many times, the way You're working in the Cross Gen Leaders, for my great friends that blesses me so much and most of all for my supportive family. Looking forward to an awesome time of worship with You tonight... Am also looking forward to this week and what You have in store for me...

My song of prayer

Was just playing this on the piano while waiting for Sue Ann today.
A song of prayer

Living Sacrifice
Words and music by Ruth Ng

Teach us to worship You the way You want us to
Teach us to love You Lord with all of our hearts
Teach us to live for You in all that we do
And to offer up our lives as a living sacrifice

May our lives as incense rise to You
Pleasing You as fragrant perfume

©May 2005 Ruth Ng

Romans and my Mum

Am on holidays today!!!! Am so glad for the rest - if one can call preparing Bible Study materials for Cross Gen rest..*grimace* :P
Am waiting for Sue Ann to come back from picking up her sister. I thought to write down a few thoughts since she so graciously offered her computer to me. We're doing the Bible study materials on Romans today... This is our second time meeting up and we've only done three chapters! But I must recommend that EVERY CHRISTIAN should read Romans. It's got all the doctrinal basis for a Christian.. So far - we've only done the bits on how much we need to be justified.. And that we're not any better than the Gentiles.. Have been so humbling and it's just speaking to me and rebuking me in my spiritual faith at times.

On a separate note, I was talking to my mum last nite till pretty late (more like 3am! Then again it's a holiday today! yay!). I really treasure her advice on ministry and relational issues... I'm continually amazed at the wisdom God has given her and how much I miss out whenever I choose not to listen to her. It speaks of my own spiritual life -How much I miss out whenever I choose not to listen to God.

Dear God,
I'm continually thankful that you show me how much you care do for me - especially through my mother.. Thank you for my mother so much. She's shown me despite how much I disappoint or how difficult I can get, that she still chooses to love me. She's truly a treasure from You. Please watch over her each and everyday. You see her needs and her discouragements and yet I know that You're more than enough for her and will fulfill her every need. Thank You that she's a living example of Jesus to me. I pray that You will bless her so much.

My prayer song for today

Knees to the Earth
Words and Music by Christy Nockels and Nathan Nockels

Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior, my heart will know Your worth
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth

CHORUS:
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You, my Lord
Here I am

Beautiful Jesus, how may I bless Your heart
Knees to the earth I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus, You are my only worth
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

©2003 worshiptogether.com songs

Technology and friends

Every once in a while, I'm amazed with technology... If not for emails or msn and the like, A LOT of my friendships would be difficult to maintain..
Now that I'm back in the office, I have more time to be online and I find myself catching up with A LOT of my friends- ppl whom I've not heard from in ages.. Ppl from all corners of the world (namely Australia and Uzbekistan-Adeline, Dawn, Vern Li, Johann, etc).. It brings great joy to my heart - and sorrow too at times (more because some of my friends are going through really hard times).. But am blessed to be able to pray for them....
Truly, I think - thank God for placing me in this time of history.

Dear Father,
Please watch over my friends who may be far from You or need You. Please minister to them and guide them.

Song for the day

More Than A Friend
Written by Jeremy Riddle

In the quiet of my soul
In the stillness I hear Your voice call
And I am overwhelmed, and I am lost for words
To describe You

Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

My heart longs to worship, you my King
And I long to bring you a pleasing offering
And I am overwhelmed, and I am lost for words
To describe You

© 2002 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing (ASCAP)

while waiting..

Am waiting to go out for dinner with some dear friends to celebrate my graduation cos they couldn't make it.. In the meantime just thought to blog some thoughts..

1. Was quite weird being back in the office for the WHOLE day after three months.I'm so used to scrambling all my work into the 3 hours that I'm in the office. It just feels so- relaxing... I'm sure that there's heaps to do- but somehow I think I'll do it tomorrow (Hahah.. I can just remember Uncle Title's sermon on tomorrow ;) )

2. I had an exciting point in the day- the church has asked me to start considering what I would like to do- be it a pastor of a ministry and whether I would like to continue in my Bible school studies (place and ministry to be discussed with them)... AM just so excited about that!
At the same time, it IS early days... I feel that there's still things to accomplish here at my church and areas in my life where molding is still needed(I still feel that I should take some time and go for a few months mission trip making a decision)- perhaps all these will be realised in a year's time... God always seem to give me ample notice (Thank You for that!)... Will definitely have to pray hard about it.

Dear Father,
Thank you for new opportunites and new challenges. Where do You want me to go? What do You want me to do? Please show me.. You've said in Your word and through Ps Kindah that You would. I put my trust in You.