Tsunami disaster

Everyday this week, I look at the papers and am just overwhelmed by the news of the effects of the tsunami that happened on Sunday.
I read and hear of tragedies that happen, whole families perishing, parents losing children, children losing parents, masses of people still missing, masses of people dead - and my heart is just so burdened for them. Tears flows.

Random comments

• The production's finally over. But a part of me do miss the hustle and bustle. Will probably have a whole lot more of that next year.
• Have more or less caught up on sleep - though I am still looking to taking a break and visiting my dad(am just looking forward to the cool weather , the time of solitude, and the R&R that I'm planning to have at Camerons- sleeping, reading and having tea, fishing, and taking some photographs have plenty of appeal at the moment) .
• John's sister Lea's staying over next week.
• Was sad everytime I looked at the newspaper and heard of how many lives were taken by the tsunami-Malaysia was affected for the first time. ABout 52 lives in Malaysia to date have perished. According to news, 23,000 lives have been taken so far. I wonder how many souls were lost. It's just really heart-wrenching to hear how lives have been lost
• Contemplating what to say for my testimony for watch night service - philip's encouraged me to share something about the christmas production. He said that if he shared about it, he will probably take 2 hours -which is so true- never met a guy that loves to talk that much. *grin*. Definition of watch night service: Our church usually have a service on the night before New Year's day. We usually get people to share their testimony, have a bit of worship and some presentations.
• Contemplating about a certain group of people - the really hurtful kind of people. Not going to say more but that I'm just contemplating and that being friends with them can be really difficult especially as their feelings seem to be more important to them than others.
• Contemplating about my walk with my Jesus-it's not at an ideal state at the moment - probably cos myself and my rest came first. =P Help me to decrease and may Jesus increase in me.
• Contemplating a certain conversation that I had with a certain relative of mine. Don't think that the person's right - at least not for now. Will have to mull over it more - perhaps when I go for my time of solitude in Camerons.
• Contemplating my new year's resolution and having a check if I did stick to this year's resolutions. I probably did for some - and slacked off for others. Oh well, I'll just have to keep trying then.

Christmas production Announcement

Had this idea from my cousin's blog.
PJEFC - THE CHRISTMAS STORY MUSICAL
Date: 25th December 2004
Time: 10.30am-12.30pm
Venue: PJEFC Heritage Centre - 3, Jln Seksyen 13/6

Christmas Eve

I thought I should blog something today as it's Christmas eve. I generally love this time of the year, but probably due to the hustle and bustle, it just seems really different this year.
My family, as usual is still contemplating if we're having our usual annual dinner tonight(yes even though it's almost lunchtime now, they haven't decided!). Mum's already bought 2 turkey and 2 roles of lamb to roast - but the problem is, the car's been broke down again last night and we have not been able to buy and prepare the other stuff.. So she's still deciding if we should just go ahead with the dinner. Whatever it is, I'm really looking forward to the lamb. Don't eat much lamb since I got back and this is one of the few times of the year that my family does...

Also thought that I should blog that our PJEFC choir(myself included) was on TV3 this morning. We were invited to go and sing some songs from our Christmas musical. Thank God it went pretty well. That's probably all I'm going to say about it since I wasn't keen on going for it in the first place-my mum was more excited about it than me in the first place. I almost didn't go cos the van breakdown but I had all the choir robes with me - sheesh - which meant that I had to go anyway. Oh well - it was a rather interesting experience. Will have to check out the tapes that my family taped.

Generally, even though this Christmas have been busy; it's been good in some ways. Despite being on telly, it's been a whole lot less commercialised for me - it has really been less about Santa and the Christmas tree and a whole lot more a Jesus - so that has been really special to me. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, because of my business and the many times I've almost given up, it's been great because I got to know my God a whole lot more. His grace and the hope that He gives through Christ has been very real to me. Thank you Jesus for coming down to save me. Happy Birthday Jesus! =)

Good memories

John's left for Australia yesterday night. It was just great to hang out with him for a few short days. I keep on telling him that I only see ex-OCFers when I see him. Which is so true. Saw Mun Wah, Helene, Calvin, Jeremy, Adeline and Tracy all in the past 3 days.

Having him around was sort of walking down memory lane and at the same time finding out how everyone's just changed. Heard that so many people have gotten married and are now having kids. Heard that Andrew Chen just had a kid. Just feels weird sometimes to hear those kind of news - hearing that people have moved on - then again maybe not that weird after all

John with Gary

Johny boy



John, Helene and Calvin



John and I

Christmas pictures

I've not much time to blog today but they say a picture is worth a thousand words.
When I look at these - I can say that the past two weeks is worth it. Praise God!



Everyone in the Christmas 2004 production

The Choir Members

The Children's choir

My stage management crew

Edmond Lee, Sean and Grace - choir members backstage

Backstage with choir members

Returnees

One week has gone past and so much has happened. Hoong Ern came back from the UK-which was a really good thing - as he helped out for the Christmas Musical.
It was definitely the busiest week I've had since I've started working in church full time half a year ago(Wow! Time just flew by so quickly). I've learnt a lot about myself as well as other people that I've been working the musical with. My faith has also increased. IT was definitely a very trying time. Many times I was reminded that patience is like a container. The bigger your container the more patience you have. I've lost count of how many times I've prayed for God to make bigger my container - sometimes it was successful and others not so successful. But as I've said in my previous blog, despite who and what I am, I can testify that God is great and He is indeed faithful.
He's answered prayers. I've even sent out a SOS signal to Him in my prayers during the past week- everything in the musical was just going badly: the lights were not ready, the conductor sprained both his arms (from the enthusiastic flinging of his arms during conducting) and was in a lot of pain, one of the cast had food poisoning, some of the musicians were getting flu, the actors were not quite ready, our lead singer was also sick, I was sick and tired and stressed, tempers flared, some had really long and bad days at work, etc..
But in the end, everything just ran smoothly on the first show last Saturday(our second is on Christmas day). Though no one stepped out for prayer, about 8 hands were raised when asked who wanted to accept Christ into their life.
The week kept getting better and better. Had a call from John Foo - my ex-neighbor, cell group member and good friend from Australia - on Thursday to say that he's here and that he'd arrived in Malaysia and brought heaps of goodies. He brought heaps of stuff- Haighs chocolates(these are generally super expensive), really expensive cherries(about AUD 25/kilo - he brought 2 kilos), oreos, tim tams, Salmon, fruit and nuts, mango jam and a few other stuff that I've forgotten to mentioned! Was really overwhelmed by his generosity(in case those reading this are beginning to get the wrong idea, he did these for several other people too).
Though I was really overwhelmed by his generosity, I enjoyed his company more. We just hanged out at KLCC and did some major catching up. I joked with him that the only time that I see ex-OCFers is when I see him(I saw Calvin last night and Adeline in the morning). I had fun talking with him about his work(which he is really greatful to have and is doing quite well in it) and just generally talking about guys and Aussie stuff. We walked around KLCC and John said that we had to walk around the food stores and buy 1 thing from each store - didn't work quite well as we were quite full by the 3rd/4th stall even though we just bought buns and kuih.
It was just generally really good to hang out with an old friend. Speaking of old friend, Myra's back too. She graduated and her convocation's in April. She's still praying if she should work here or return to Australia. Am trying to persuade her to go for a holiday with me in January when I try to get my much needed break.
Received an email from Janice too saying that she's graduated and that she was going for a month's vacation. It's just been really wonderful to hear from everyone at this time of the year. As I said God is just so faithful.
For today and tomorrow, I just planned to take things easy and rest in Him before the everything starts building up on Thursday for Christmas day. I continually look forward to the challenges He gives me each day because I know that He will never give me more than what I can bear.

My God and I

The past week was more crazy than expected.
Turns out the cough that I was having is bronchitis - I found this out when I went to see the doctor. The medicine that he gave helped me to feel better - though the cough is still lingering, it's not as severe as before(I had difficulty breathing and my chest felt tight) - but I was 'half zonked out' due to the side effects.
So I ended up running around like a headless chicken doing all the needed stuff for the Christmas production and at the same time my hands were tremoring and my head was feeling very bleary due to the medication. It's not a great combination.
On top of that, every week night last week, I only got home at 12am and left the house at 8.30am. Saturday and Sunday was worse as I had to get up earlier. By Sunday evening, there were these horrible black bags under my eye and I was just so exhausted and weary. Thank God for yesterday(Monday) so I could rest and recuperate and regain my sanity at the same time. I've lost count of how many times I've almost lost my temper in the past week. My nerves felt really stretched. Thank God for granting me patience.
My mind has just been so preoccupied with the Christmas production that's on this Saturday(18th Dec) and next Sat (25th Dec). I even forgot that I was suppose to lead devotions this morning until 7.30am this morning (Devotions is at 9am). But it turned out ok. Really felt God speaking to me as it was so relevant to my experience in the past week.
My big brother encouraged me to "upgrade my outlook" this morning. His mum also sent an Aussie calendar which I absolutely love. And thus, I've decided to take some time to be still and knowing indeed He is God. That He is faithful and that He's upholding me. A time to put things into perspective. To take it easy this morning before I go back to the fray. A time to remind myself why I'm doing all this - It's all for Him.
I remember little encouragements throughout last week that kept me going. Uncle Lawrence mentioned that a tea's flavour is brought out when the water is at it's hotest and likened me to that (not a flattering comparison - come to think of it *grin*).
I too remember that He whispered to me on Saturday while I was on the piano during the worship practice that He's watching over me and carrying me - feeling as worn out and exhausted as I was. I was so comforted that I almost cried. Even though, to be honest, I am not looking forward to this week and all it entails, I can lift up my head and push forward because He's telling me "We're in this together."

Thank You Jesus.

Strength for today

Dear God,
I once again come to you as a weak vessel. I pray for strength for today as there is so much to accomplish in these two weeks before the Christmas programme. Please help everything to fall into place. Grant me patience with those who are supposed to be doing their jobs but aren't - especially when I have to end up doing it on top of all I've got to do.
I pray for people to come and help. And even if there isn't any, remind me that you're around. There's been so many times that I've been afraid that I wouldn't be able to finish the tasks you've given me and yet, "Your Grace is Sufficient for me" and You've seen me through. Thank You for being always there beside me. Thank You.

work, work, work

My infernal cough won't go away. It continually plagues me. I've a bad feeling that it's turned athsmatic already. Hopefully it won't be too long before it heals completely.
Today's been absolutely crazy. Am busy trying to clear up all my worship stuff before I go for EFCM camp as a facilitator for the next few days. I'm tired already and have not even have had a chance to go through the materials (except the question on tattooing which ended up as a debate over emails!).
Have been busy with coordinating Christmas choir. Philip (our Christmas conductor) has been calling me very frequently (more like morning, afternoon and night *sigh*) with barrages of instructions. On top of that, I've to finish up my worship list and clear up any outstanding matters before I go.
Found out too that one of my follow uppee's getting married! How exciting!
Also remembered that John's probably coming down to Malaysia cos of Audrey's wedding this month! Will hopefully be able to meet up with him.
PLANET SHAKER'S CONCERT IS ON TONIGHT at PYRAMID CONVENTION CENTRE!!!!
WHOOPEEEE!!!

Worship Leading, flu, handwritten cards and life satisfaction..

Worship lead for the first time last weekend in the main sanctuary and praise God it went pretty well- not exactly the best but definitely was one of the better ones. Must be due to all the prayer and petitioning. Again - all glory to Him. I was really nervous and my team and family knew how nervous I was. Just before I started, I whispered a little prayer "Ok Jesus, I know you're partnering with me in this. I surrender all my fears to You. I'll just worship You". A calm just entered my heart. It was just amazing. For those who know me, they can usually tell when I'm nervous on stage - they remarked that I was just very calm and confident. Thank You Jesus for reminding me that in all that I do that we're partners and doing it together.
The weather have been absolutely crazy the past week - hot and cold alternately. It definitely took its toll on me and I was sick in bed with flu the whole of Monday and Tuesday. Thought I was going to better after resting on Monday but on Monday night, I had a fever plus I couldn't sleep so it was pretty miserable. Rested the whole of Tuesday and have been feeling better each day since.
Also had a wonderful surprise yesterday. Liz sent a handwritten card for my birthday. Was really touched... I'm generally terrible at handwritten cards/letters so I really treasured her card. It was one of my best birthday gifts this year.
Had a short chat with Liz too over yahoo messenger (the wonderful,wonderful blessings on technology).. And we were talking about life satisfaction. I currently rate mine 8/10... So life's pretty good- probably cos I know I'm living the way He wants me to.

Some pics

Gary with Shiro - one of our new pups



My sis and bro



Puppies in a box



Oreos



My sister



Little princess

Rest and Work

Am back at work - after two days of break due to the Hari Raya Holidays. Must say that it's been one of my more restful holidays-which I'm truly thankful for. I just shudder of what's ahead- worship leading this Sunday for my first time, EFCM youth camp (I'm going as a facilitator and at the same time encourage young people to join the worship team and missions) , Christmas and finally: Watch night service.
So the past two days was technically my final break for the year. The calm before the storm - and I savoured every moment of it (Well, almost every moment of it). My sis's going to Penang for a holiday with her friends to celebrate the end of her exams (the last day of which is tomorrow). Wish I was going too. My idea of a dream holiday - sleep, eat, read books, exploring the place a bit and solitude. Am contemplating taking some time off in January next year to do so-but will have to see. Things always happens around here.

Other highlights of the past few days are :

• Managed to talk to Aunty Bernie for a bit on Sunday. She and Uncle Cheng Hsien are now back in Melbourne. Am always glad when they come back for a visit. Am very fond of them as they continually encourage me whenever they are back.
• Played around with Kenny's camera. Am more or less buying it over from him. Had such fun playing with the camera. Should've brought it so that I could download the photos cos the cable was in my office.
• Manage to finish a couple of chapters from the "Heart of the Artist" by Rory Noland. Very easy reading and yet very challenging to me.

Am worship leading this sunday for the first time in the main congregation - an pretty nervous about it. The other times have been just to assist the worship leader. This time I'll have to chose the songs and the flow. Uncle Lawrence's my partner but he's away until tomorrow. I pray that everything will go smoothly. More importantly, people will be ushered into his presence.

Dear God,

I lay all my concerns down at Your feet. Who am I but your instrument. Please grant me Your wisdom and a sensitivity to Your Spirit that Your people will be able to come and worship You in Your presence. Take away too any anxiousness in my mind. "Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me"

Important Announcement

My big bro Johann and Vern Li is engaged!!!!!
Am so happy for both of them!
Warmest congratulations.

His grace is sufficient for me

Busy busy busy.
Sometimes I'm so busy that I don't want to think anymore. There's just so much to do and to get done. The only thing that keeps me going is having Him by my side.
He knows my ups and downs and he knows too my flaws and love me despite of it. That keeps me going.
Have decided to fast this week. It's just a partial fast (lunch only - and no eating for at least 8 hours) but that's it for now. I've decided to do so because there's just so much spiritual warfare going on around me. In my ministry and as well as in people around my life. I need to hear Him ever more so clearly.
Though it's been a tough week in many ways- I've failed in so many ways- it's just revealed to me how carnal and weak I am, it's been a week of grace too. As Sue Ann keeps saying "His grace is sufficient for me". That verse has just taken a different and more powerful meaning.



Your grace is sufficient for me
Martin Nystrom

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

Dear God,
Thank You for Your grace. It's just so much more than I ever deserve.
You know too how nervous I am to be worship leading in church next week for the first time. May Your Spirit lead and guide me. Grant me too a teachable heart.

Special Day

Today's a special day for me- it's my birthday. I bought a a CD "Planet Shaker's -All that I want"(which really rocks!) and a new book(Jesus, The One and Only by Beth Moore) to celebrate it.
Last night I watched Passion's One Day and was very inspired once again to live for Him.
And that's what this day for me is about - another year of living for Him, of worshipping Him and learning to make choices and to do things His way. Yay!
Of course I like the little gifts that people gave me like a necklace from my sis, an e-card from Liz and a lovely red rose from Sue that added that extra special touch to my day.
At twelve last nite my sis and mum was the first to wish me happy birthday before I went to sleep. This morning, I had a card for liz and talked to my big bro for a bit. Sean also wished me happy birthday in his own special way.. hehhehe
Liz said she'll call tonight-wow! It's been a while since I last spoke to her so I'm looking forward to it. Am also planning to watch more of Monk!!! Super!

Dear God,
Thank you for making me me. =) Thank you for another year to live for you and to worship you. Thank you especially for all the special people in my life. The many who have encouraged me (my mum, my sis, my bro, Sean, Uncle Lawrence, Johann, Liz, Aunty Nancy, Aunty Chan Boey, Uncle Sam, Uncle Daniel, Poh Lyn, Rachel Tan, Audrey and Ting, Chew Sue Ann, Keng Swee, the worship ministry team, Hoong Ern, Chris, Ewe Jin, Eiran, Marcus, Charlene and countless others) and drew me nearer to You. Thank You for the lessons learnt in the past year. I really look forward to another year of walking with You by my side. All glory and praise be unto You.

Your another-year-older child, Ruth.

Down at the cross

It's a special day today and somehow he reminded me of this beautiful song.

From Jeremiah 9: 23 - 24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD , who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD .

Down at the Cross
The Kry

What can I boast about
When the life that I live has been given me
What can I be proud of
But of Jesus who died to set me free
Set me free

Chorus
Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Let not the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
For all men are equal down at the cross

Jesus still reaches out
No matter how far or how weak we are
His love has no bounds
And He reaches the ones down on their knees
On their knees

Bridge
Down at the cross come and leave your pride
Lay everything at His feet
For all of us He was willing to die
Even when we were weak
When we were still without strength
When we were set in our ways
When we were filled with hatred for Him
Still He was willing to die for you and I
Down at the cross

Reflection

My past week has been hectically busy. Full of spiritual insights and at the same time full of activities. I would never wish my week on anyone else though. They just tend to be rather crazy.
I even missed a call from my best cousin *sob sob*.
Anyway - just thought to write on highlights of the week:

• Managed to get most of the "Monk" series from Eiran. Made me a happy gal. I sooo love the show..
• Put up my map of the world in my cosy corner of my office so I can pray for the world (Hmmm.. I should post up a picture now that I've got my shelf to put my worship resources too. It's a joke that I've got a LOT of stuff that I need a LOT of space. sheesh-not like it's a choice - it's more of other ppl's junk that I have to sort out and store. =P)
• Christmas choir practice is went quite well last night
• Heaps of happening stuff is happening during Christmas
• A ministry problem came up on Friday evening that got me highly stressed. Thank God for His wisdom and guidance.
• On Saturday, we had a record practice time with Adrian Ang - 40minutes! Praise God!
• On Sunday, we managed to finish service on time -10.30am: A record time since we moved to our new building. Praise God! Must pray that it happens this week too. Have been working rather hard to ensure that we finish on time every week.
• On Monday had a rare great time out with my mum - and she totally agreed with me that it was great too. We went to buy a DVD player. Now I can watch Passion and One Day at home.
• One of my insight again and again is that His grace is sufficient for me EVERY SINGLE DAY. How absolutely wonderful.

Tomorrow's a special day for me. Thought I should briefly reflect on the past year. God has just been so great to me. Am settling really well into my 'job'. Though it's not been smooth sailing all the time, I do love it heaps. He's just been teaching me a lot of stuff too - and really challenging me to depend on Him each day. Wonder what He'll have in store for me in the next year??

Feelings and Knowing

The past week was just rather - well, don't quite know the word to describe it. Sort of in a limbo - felt less passionate about things rather than usual... Except during Bible Study with my small group last Friday. Probably because that was the lesson that He was teaching me- and at the same time I was teaching my piano student. Besides teaching the technical aspects of playing the piano, I've been convicted to impart the spiritual side too. I find that musicians nowadays are too focused on the technical that the spiritual side of it is totally 'ignorable'.
Anyhows, was just teaching her on feelings and knowing in worship. That worship is more than feelings in the worship. It's about heart and head knowledge of God. That's how we should worship Him.

Last Friday, Bible study was great because I could sense the Holy Spirit's presence guiding the discussion - despite having it in the midst Swensen's ice creams. We were really challenged to read our Bible and really hungry to read the Word.

Dear God,
Thank you for all your working. Please continue to grow our faith in You and to develope a love for Your Word which is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

My cosy corner..

Have been busy these past few days - what with meetings galore and hanging out with family as well as the new adorable puppies. Yesterday, I've just moved back to the office and I have been trying to make my corner as cosy as possible - the typical girl thing to do. Been having fun with that.
Am looking forward to Kenny lending his camera. Am going to take photos of the puppies and post them up tomorrow.

Okies. Need to get back to work.



Dear God,
Thanks for your timely reminder that I should "boast only in the Cross" from your servant - John Piper. Let it sink in my heart, soul and mind the glorious thing that Your Son has done for me on the cross

Blown Away..

Wow! God answered another prayer... My friend's dad who has lung cancer accepted the Lord last night!! I'm just so blown away!!! Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!
When I received the news, my mind was just blown away.. and I almost cried.. Am so happy and glad for my friend... He said the sinners prayer with his dad TWICE just to make sure he got it right..
The angels must really be rejoicing in heaven too!!!
Never expected for the God to answer this so quickly... We were all praying for him at prayer meeting last night too.. Thank You God so much... I'm SO AMAZED by YOU!!!

What to say..

Wonder if other people come to a point/day in their life where there's just nothing much to blog about. Well... I've reached that point for today..
Well, the verse below just came to mind and it sorts of describes me at the moment.



So I'm just.... quiet.... *contented sigh*

Today

Today's turning out to be a rather eventful day. I've just found out that one of my friend's father is dying (Doctors have given him a few weeks to live). His father has cancer and he's praying for his father's healing and salvation. Me being me, I'm at this point of being cautious whether God will heal his dad (Yes- I'm having little faith). I'm just worried that he will be dissapointed in God. *sigh* I know how that feels. And yet, another part of me says - "O ye of little faith. God can do so much more than you can ever imagine. " I hope so in this case.
Also, am feeling discouraged about where the ministries in church are going. I guess I lost perspective for a while that God's in charge of the ministries and that He'll take care of the ministries.

Dear God,
I know sometimes I run ahead of myself and it's times like this that my faith is small. Enlarge my faith in You. I pray that You will heal my friend's dad. Most importantly, I pray for his dad's salvation. I know that his dad is in a lot of pain and that his dad's thoughts are just not coherent. But God, I do KNOW that You are bigger than all that and that you work in special ways-YOUR WAYS. Help me believe.
I pray too for my friend and his family. Please minister and comfort them in this time. Support him a lot as he's still a young child in You.

Oreos' Home! and other nice surprises

Oreos' Home!! and my joy is complete. =) Hehehhe
He came home last Sunday out of the blue. Mum has a theory that someone must have kidnapped him to mate with their dog and then let him go. He looked "none the worse for wear" albeit a bit thin. But he seemed like the same old Oreos.
Quite a number of stuff happened last week too.. Let me recap.
Wednesday morning - Rachel Tan sent email to say that she's engaged.
Wednesday afternoon - Patches gave birth to 6 puppies. 2 died and 4 survived. They are such cute tubby little things. *grin*
Thursday evening- My bro informed us he passed his resit exams. Praise God!!!!
Friday - moved to my temporary office. Have a room all to myself. *happy sigh* Just love the privacy to pray and not be distracted.
Saturday evening - Bought my much awaited for Study Bible. Am so in love with it. *happy sigh*
Had a lovely weekend: Saturday was rather stressful but Sunday and Monday was nice. Managed for the first time in 4 months to catch up on my sleep. *happy sigh*

Dear God,
Thank you once again for everything. Thanks for answering my prayers and bringing Oreos home.

Tired and sick

Am feeling slightly under the weather this week and it's rather depressing. I walk a round with this constant ache in my back and am in a slightly woozy condition-feeling a small headache coming along too(makes me wanna pop some Panadol-am restraining myself). *sigh*
I had to be in bed almost the whole day yesterday and it's not quite how I envisioned to spend my off day. Looking on the bright side - at least I got some rest. But I am miserable cos I am in pain - and I hate being in pain. I suppose that I could always take the Panadol..... *restrain* *sigh*
Have choir practice tonight and I sooooo don't feel like going. *sigh* I must.. Just want to have a snooze.
Sheeesh.. Just want to feel normal again.

Oreos is still missing and other stuff

*sigh* It's the third day he's missing and he shows no sign of coming back. I have a really bad feeling that he was dognapped. =(
Anyways.. Just a few thoughts

• My cousin have just created a new blog!!!
• Eiran started working in church today too and spent quite a number time talking to him about youth in our church. He's going to be helping out in JY.
• Was reminded last night how blessed I am to have Uncle Lawrence as my boss. Can't really explain this but he's really protective of those of us who are in the worship team. Never really realised this until I spoke to him yesterday. He really cares for us.
• Am going to have an awesome time with my cell group - Zebulun tonight. Having dinner, Bible study, games and prayer for one another. Am looking forward to that!!!
• Current reading: "The heart of the artist". Really awesome book for people who serve on the stage.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for all the great stuff that you've done in my life. Thank You for people in my life like Uncle Lawrence and the yummy suckling pig stuff that he gave last night. Really made my dinner better. *BIG GRIN*
Want to pray that You're taking care of Oreos-whereever he may be.
Want to pray for the Youth Ministry. Challenge them once again God. They need so much help.

My Oreos... where are you?

My dog Oreos has gone missing. Wonder where he went and if he found his way home. I must confess that I don't spend a lot of time with him - but I miss him when he's gone. He has this *look* that gets people talking to him. Still remember the day I brought him home with his two brothers. *sigh*

Dear God,
Please bring him home and keep him safe. Don't usually take him out cos he doesn't really like to go out without Patches. I think he's lost. Please let him be at home when I get back.

Worship

Was assisting Uncle Lawrence in worship leading on Sunday. All I can say right now is - praise God for all He's done in the worship. Many people came and said that the worship was good. I'd like to think that many were ushered into His presence - not because of anything I've done.
I must admit that I came to the point where I told the Lord: "I'm just your weak child: Not feeling perfect or confident now. But I leave it all to You". I came to a point where it reallly didn't matter what others were thinking. To be honest, I wasn't even listening to the musicians to hear if they were making a mistake(ok- I admit- I usually do that). I just chose to worship Him - fully concious of my weaknesses and humbled by Him and His love for me.
As always, worship leading is always difficult for me. Am always concious of the responsibility to be holy. My family especially will be the first to say - "Ruth - holy??. Yeah righhhtt."
And somehow, something always happens beforehand. Really learnt the meaning of dying to self and seriously, it's quite a painful experience. Then again I did say that prayer last week in my blog, didn't I? =P

Dear God,
Thank You for Your spirit's work in my life. The refining fire is really painful and humbling in the past week. I pray that You will continue to refine me anyways so that I may be used greater for Your glory. Grant me wisdom in my relationships with my family and those closest to me - to rebuke in love where there is a need and to show heaps of grace too which I know I can be sorely lacking of.

Once Again

Every now and then I get sorta this wake up call - a heightened awareness of my calling and who I am in Christ - and it usually lingers for quite a while. Last night was one of those times. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I attended DA Carson's talk last night.
He gave a sobering message. (Will blog it tomorrow as I forgot to bring my notebook)

A few things that sticks in my head:
1. A Christian's life is a transformed life. The word of God is living and active. It changes life. If I confess to be a christian, my life should never be the same again. If our life remains unchange, then we are not Christians - because if Christ lives in us transformation should and would happen.
2. We MUST reevaluate what we are doing and treasuring now. Is it going to count in 2 billion years time? If not, we're investing our time and ourselves wrongly.
3. Am I willing to die for my Lord Jesus Christ- be it to self or physically? How much do I treasure my life? And though the choice is hard to make: "Yes Lord, I'm willing."
Why? - He is my Creator. I owe Him everything. Matthew 10:28 "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
4. The undiluted/uncut wrath of God is absolutely horrific. Therefore I should love righteousnes and NOT despise it.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your Word again last night. I pray that You will transform me. May I never be the person I was. Change me - no matter how hard the process - and I know that it will be hard and painful. Help me as I decide each day to die to myself. It's not easy and the evil one will not be pleased. But I know that Your grace will be sufficient for me each time I fall. Thank You for dying for me. I am Blessed.

Amazed

Current listening: 'Amazed' and 'Rescue' by desperation band

I just feel like weeping.
I want to weep for the worship ministry. Just have this burden that God will be sovereign over each and every one in the ministry.
I want to weep for my family. I pray that there will be breakthroughs.
I want to weep in wonder and joy of the things He has placed in my heart. Both the songs just really speaks to me at the moment

From Amazed
"Lord I’m amazed by You!
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me"

From Rescued
You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me


Dear God,
Thank You for the beautiful and wonderful teaching that You have spoken through DA Carson. Lord, my soul hungers and yearns for You.
This world indeed has nothing for me compare to You. I'm so amazed by You and Your love for me. It surrounds me.
As I see Your beauty, I repent of my sins.
I pray that You will come and dwell in the hearts of the people in my church and be sovereign. Work in us. May Your glory fall in our church and Your revival sweep through this place once again. Mould us and refine us - no matter how painful it will be.
Change us so that the world may see that You ARE the Ever Living God. May many come to know You for who You are.
My soul blesses Your name.

Ruth

Revelations 13 by DA Carson

REVELATIONS 13 – (Tuesday 21/9/04)
This message was really deep and at the same time sobering and full of warnings (especially of the second beast)

This passage is about the dragon giving authority to the beast of the sea.
The second beast is from the earth and serves the first beast.
The sea in ancient times symbolizes evil – confusion and chaos.
The dragon, the beast of the sea and beast of the earth is like an evil Trinity to take the place of God.

The first beast – beast of the sea
Vs 1: “The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion”: All the animals refers to previous kingdoms that is evil. This beast is a combination of all.
Vs 3: “One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed”. – this means that the beast dies again and again but comes out again and again in Anti-Christ. Each time one dies, another one will rise.
Vs 3b: “The whole world was astonished and followed the beast” – because the evil is so great as the authority is given by the dragon, people will give up and say in resignation “there will always be evil”.

The second beast – beast of the earth
Vs 11: “He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon” – this beast is full of deception. The “two horns like a lamb” means that it looks harmless but his words were of the dragon. In ancient Israel, the earth was something stable and therefore safe.

Vs 12: “He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed”. The second beast clearly serves the first beast.

Vs 13 – 15 ‘And he performed great and miraculous signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth in full view of men. Because of the signs he was given power to do on behalf of the first beast, he deceived the inhabitants of the earth. He ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. He was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that it could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed.” This beast has great power and is a great deceiver.

This second beast = false prophets and their teachings. We have to remember it is so subtle and it is a great deceiver!

Carson told the story of how he was preaching and naming the rebirthing technique as a deception.
Rebirthing technique is adopted by psychologists and some Christian counselors to help people who have been abused/sodomised when they were young. They were to close their eyes and picture themselves as babies. And they had to picture themselves coming out of their mother’s womb and that Jesus received them when they came out and wiped the ‘muck’ out. And Jesus would cuddle and love them. Many of them would realize that Jesus was there from their birth and would cry and receive healing.
A missionary couple invited Carson for dinner and refuted the statement as they were healed through the rebirthing technique. Carson asked them two questions.
1. “If someone were to explain to the missionary the passage in Ephesians about how wide and deep the love of Christ, could the missionary be healed too?” To which the missionary replied after thinking deeply, “Yes, but it doesn’t refute the rebirthing technique.”
2. Carson’s second question was “If someone went through the same abuse, would you tell them about the imaginary Jesus of the rebirthing technique OR about the true Jesus of the bible?”. That was the subtlety of the second beast. You may go about 5 degrees off from the truth.. But as you tell more and more about it, your 5 degrees will leave you a VERY big gap from the path of truth.


Vs 16-18: “He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.” There are many interpretation of the mark of the beast. Carson admits that he does not know who is the beast but also suggests that perhaps we are better off not knowing. The point of this part is this : we will receive either the mark of the beast or the mark of the lamb and will face the wrath of the other! Remember that if we receive the mark of the beast- we will face the wrath of the Lamb.

AM therefore very excited to find out tonight more about the seal of the Lamb.

Revelations 12 - by DA CARSON

REVELATIONS 12 - (Monday 20/9/04)
This passage is about the woman and the red dragon.
The woman refers to the church and God’s chose people.
The red dragon is Satan.
Carson explained too that the ‘1260’ days = ‘a time, times and half a times’ = ‘3 and a half years’ and is a period of great suffering.

Summary: Satan is a defeated foe. He’s really angry and is coming after the church and wants to drag people down to the abyss with him.

How can we overcome Satan:
1. The blood of the lamb: We must remember that Satan cannot be fought by our own strength. ONLY by the blood of the lamb we are justified and there is victory.
2. Testimonies of the saints: We must always testify about His love then many will come to know of God and His goodness.
3. We must be willing to die: We must be willing to give up our very lives for Him. Each year, 160,000 Christians are martyred for Christ for the past year. Of course, not ALL are called to die for the cause. But ALL are called to die to self – our desires and areas where we are higher than Christ.

Cool analogies:
1. Revelations is a book of imagery because we have never experienced the Great Throne Room of God. It’s like us trying to explain electricity to some remote jungle trible in Papua New Guinea and it goes like this “Electricity is like a supernatural spirit that goes through the vines. You attach those vines in your house and hang it from your roof. You will be able to get a small sun shining at night”. Just as the ppl of Papua New Guinea are limited in their knowledge in electricity, we too are limited of our knowledge of the throne room of God because we have never seen it.
2. When Carson’s son was 3, Carson asked him, “where did you get your beautiful blue eyes from?”. The son answered promptly “From God”. As the son is now older, the son would probably answer “Genetics in the family.” Both statements are truth. But which is the fundamental truth? We can always say that things happens because of this and that – and they are true. But we forget the fundamental truth – God is behind it all and that He’s always there.

DA Carson

Have been attending D A Carson talks the past two nights. He has been teaching on Revelations and it’s been truly amazing. He talked about Revelations 12 and 13. As he explained the passage, it was like ‘scales fell from my eyes’ and I could see the passage for what it was. There was a hunger from deep within to read and study the living truth – the word of God. Made me realize that I know little of the treasures in the Bible.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Wow! Am amazed that my prayer was answered. Had an awesome time over the past weekend. Enjoyed staying in the dorms with the girls... They called me sleepy bear. Hehehe. Guess that's because I was in bed whenever I could- not that it was very often either. We had an awesome time together as leaders. Am encouraged to see how God is moving in our midst and how He's changing us.



Things that I felt that God was impressing on our hearts:
1. Are our personal walk with God right? If not, do something about it.
2. We need not to be fully equipt to serve Him. Just do it out of a heart of love for Him

We were also challenged to find a mentor. Am excited to learn more in the "mentoring" ABS classes.
I also found peace for certain issues I was praying for there. Praise God for that. All in all, the fellowship was a beautiful one - one that I've not felt in a while(the last time was probably in an OCF setting 3 years back).

Last night, after a restful day (apart from doing chores and cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children and a beautiful nap) , went to Audrey's and Ting's place for dinner. They are seriously a couple with "beautiful" souls. Went with Irwin and we were challenged to relook at our roles as assistants. At the same time, we were praying over our members and to reevaluate of what were our lacking.

I've missed out a lot of other details like Adrian Ang, Sue Ann and Ting washing our feet as a sign that they were a servant-leader to us; Adrian Ng led holy communion and we had to dip our bread into Ribena (mushy ribena bread doesn't taste all that nice *grimace*); FGA college group were in the room next to ours and we joined their worship in the evening; Adrian Ang got the FGA leader to pray with us and we in turn for them; Jorja and Vanessa was sleeping above Poh Lyn and I (and they were giggling and asking us dodgy questions while we trying to sleep); the guys played Risk - Ting won; the guys couldn't sleep all that well cos gramps, ting and ang were snoring with the occasional laugh from Tatt Seng; had fun watching the whole group playing captain ball; had a wonderful time practicing worship with Jason and Irwin; a beautifully written personal letter of encouragement from Ting and Ang written to EACH individual- I really loved mine!

All in all - it was a wonderful weekend. *contented sigh*

Dear God,
Thank You.

I am...

I am - Tired & sleepy, surprised, wishful, excited, hopeful, stressed, dissapointed and above all; grateful.

Tired and sleepy: Lack of sleep must be catching up on me. Had many meetings for the past few weeks. And precious late night talks with my sis.
Surprised: That time has passed by soo fast. It's been THREE weeks since I last blogged. So many things have been happened since. Many Good things. And some not so good.
Wishful: That I had more time to sit by His feet and rest in Him
Excited: Going for Cross Gen(youth group) Leaders retreat tomorrow
Hopeful: That I'll be able to sit by His feet and rest there. And that He will minister to ALL of us.
Stressed: At the amount of work I have to do before then - and it is a lot.
Dissapointed: That I'm not moving as fast or accomplished as much as I've hoped to.
Grateful: To Him who sees me through each and everyday. No matter how stressed I get or how dissapointed I am with myself, He loves and sees me through. He molds me and guides me each day. His presence is felt. Thank You Jesus - the Great I AM.

Dr Daniel Chua

This morning was rather stressful - just running around trying to do as much as I could before Dr Daniel came over. Unfortunately, didn't managed to get everything done as I'm now still stuck here in the office.
I know I know, why am I blogging if I'm so busy. Guess I don't want to "miss the moment".
Had a really fun time talking to Dr Daniel in the afternoon. He reminded me really strongly of Simon Ling. Maybe it was just his mannerisms- he was also as thin as Simon too(and dressed like him - except for the shoes =P).. Simon's really into worship as well and for a while I experienced a bit of deja vu.
So I must say that I'm really looking forward to having him around for the next few days.. It'll just be really interesting. He's speaking on worship leading tomorrow and he'll be speaking on songwriting on Saturday and he'll be worship leading in the church service on Sunday..

Just on a side note, was upset for a bit this afternoon. But I thank God for a really great friend(you know who you are) who helped me to put things into perspective. Really appreciate your advice and concern. *big grin*

Dear God,
Thank you for this day. Have heaps more to do but I know that you'll see me through somehow. Thank you too for ppl who cares for me.

Nostalgia

Am feeling slightly nostalgically sad now. Was reading a friend's blog and I realised that her blog had a link to some of my OCF friends and I ended up reading some of their blog. As I read their blog, just realised I missed them quite a bit- hence the sadness. Serves me right for reading when I should be doing my work.. =P
Haven't kept in contact with these people in quite a while... Mostly it was a choice on my part. Was struggling being back here in Malaysia at first. Now that I've more or less settled here for now, I'm more ready to confront my past.
So maybe it was a good thing that I didn't come across their blog earlier. Would have probably have had a greater struggle in accepting what HE wants for me.

Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Dad
On a different note, thought I should put a record that dad came home for a couple of days. Didn't get to see much of him as I was busy with the seminar and all. He came back on Saturday evening, went to church and was going in and out of the house. Went for supper with him, mum and sam yesterday evening. That was good as it was probably the only meal that I sat down to eat with him. He left for camerons again this morning.

Others
Thought I should also add that it's sometimes SOOOO difficult to get ppl to come for prayer meeting. =P
Miss Jon Lee- he always came whenever he could.

Dear God,
Heaps to do again today. Know I feel a bit sad but thank you for bringing me back and for enriching my life with other friends that I've made for the past two years. You are my shepherd and my guide.

Thoughts

This is so funny... When I normally walk around, I'll think - 'hmmm... that's a good idea to put in my blog'. But now, my mind's just blank. =P
This is contradictory but I'll just type whatever that just comes into my mind.


Adeline Loh
Was great to meet up with that 'char boh'... Have not seen her in ages. She's one of the closest ppl to me in my life. She was like a big sister to me when I was in Melbourne. Did I mention that she was my housemate and partner-in-crime?
Anyways, went out with her and her friend and EJ for coffee at Starbucks in Section 14. On my part, it was really good to talk with her and just to catch up with her... Am really happy for her as she's now working at a place where she enjoys the job and seems to be happy..

Chris Leow and Hoong Ern
These two ppl whom I'm fond off will be going off.. *sob sob*.. Hoong Ern's going off to UK to study. *sigh* will miss making fun of EJ with Hoong Ern.. Will definitely have to take him out for dinner next week before he goes.
Chris Leow's going to DTS in Melbourne. Am really happy for him and I pray that he will really grow in his spiritual walk with God. Am so glad that he's taking this step because he wants to have a firsthand knowledge of God. Both will be leaving next month.

Alicia Chew
Went out for lunch with her today. She's just one beautiful and talented individual.. Am really fond of her. She's a great friend, drummer, singer and worship leader. Really enjoyed lunch with her. She'll be going back to US this Thursday. Will miss her.

Him and I

Contemplations
I seriously think that I have to decrease and he increase in my life.
Just yesterday evening, I got really grumpy cos I couldn't get my way(yes, I usually get grumpy anyways). Just chose to be miserable and when that happens, I try to get everyone around me to be miserable. But it doesn't work because everyone around me just knows me too well. =P
In the end, my misery was just confined to me and myself. *sigh*.
Yes, he just has to increase in me. Don't like me sometimes. Especially when I get really irritated and grumpy.

This morning
This morning I managed to find my specs and got to work on time. =) Have heaps to do. Am partially worried and yet am not. Guess that I just need to do the work and not think too much. Need to rely on His strength once again. May He increase and I decrease....

Dear God,
Just want to commit the Worship Seminar into Your hands. Help me to remember the things that i need to do and not to worry too much. Grant me the wisdom I need. I commit the rest of the day into your hands. Help me to find the registration form that I can't find at the moment. I thank You that You are with me in this seminar and that I am never alone. My heart is once again filled with gratitude and love for You.

This morning

Woke up this morning - took a look at the clock: 8.39am... ARRRGGGHHHHH... Aunty Chan Boey's coming NOW! Where's my specs? Where's my specs!!!????!!! Cannot find it... ARRRGGHH!! Quick! Need to change! Where's my specs!! *honk* *honk* ARRRGGHHH... She's here!! *ring* *ring* "hello aunty chan boey! Can't find my specs!! Go ahead and i'll *somehow* find my way to work." *click* Where's my specs!! ARRRGGGHHHHH....
Yup- there was just how my morning started... Finally found my specs-it was under the radio cupboard/table. *sigh* And managed to get a lift to church from EJ.

On a different note, I know I need to plan for the worship seminar but boy- am feeling so lazy... Not to say that I've not done anything this morninglaaa... Just overwhelms me at times on what I have to do.. Feel paralysed.... Just have to take time out and add God in the equation.. Even this morning, seriously had to pray "God you have to help this 'blind' child of yours where to look for her specs' *grimace*
Just realise as I'm writing this that He is just continually teaching me to depend on Him for everything: for strength that he will carry me through and for sight to see what He wants me to see..

Dear God,
It's another crazy day. Am overwhelmed with the things that I have to do. Am so afraid that I can't finish it all and that I won't do a good job. But Your word assures me that "I can do all things through Christ" so I'm counting on you ya??? =)
Thank you too for people that encourages me and that bears with me-my messiness, my scatterbrain-ness, my impatience and my irritated-ness.. You alone know how much I love and appreciate them all the more- though I may not show it.
I know too that you're refining me each day-and it's rather painful at times. But at least I have You beside me and I know You love me more that I can every imagine. Thank You..

Lovely Surprise Call

Just received a lovely surprise call from - Adeline (My beloved ex-housemate in Melbourne)!!
Have not heard from her in 4 months now. The last time I saw her was during Easter.
She has been busy travelling in Australia and with her new job(which requires her to travel a lot).
Am gonna meet up with her this Sunday at 2pm! Am SOO looking forward to it.
Didn't realise how much I missed catching up with her until she called today.

Dear God,
Thank You for each and every person that you've placed in my life. They are such blessings to me.

The past week

It has been a rather eventful week. Caught up with Sue Lee just last week on Thursday evening and it was rather good. Also had an argument with a close friend and things sorta went 'funny'(Hmm.. it was not so funny after all) the next day and was really sad at one point. But we made up on Friday and got back to our usual footing so that was really good. Made me realise how much I treasured our friendship.
Went to cross gen late on Friday. Had a memorial service at 5pm for aunty Dora's brother and I was supposed to play the piano so a lot of things beforehand back logged and I had to stay back to finish up. Cross Gen was good though I was rather sad when I found out that most of my cell group members have not had the role models/accountability partner/spiritual mentors that I've had.
The weekend was hectic as usual. Had a wedding on Saturday morning and played for the worship. Sat afternoon had the usual practice and basically hung out with my mum. Just her and I- for the first time in ages. =) We did the usual mother daughter stuff- talk about ministry and stuff. And then we watched tv together.
Sunday was more busy than usual. Had service in the morning, had lunch with EJ and his friends then had to rush back to church for the practice for this Sunday. Was so tired that when I got home I just fell asleep. Had a nap then mum came home to pick us up for dinner. Finally got to meet up with my aunt who's on a short holiday here from Brisbane. Then had a cross gen leader's meeting that evening.
Monday was just the usual - cook in the morning, teach piano, hang out with EJ in the afternoon. Went home for dinner, did my chores, watched telly, read a book by Mike Pilavachi(The title escapes me for the moment) and then went to sleep..
Today has just been a busy day with the worship seminar. Still need to get my musicians.. *sigh*
Looking forward when the seminar will be over. Thank God that Sarah came in to help with sorting out the old songsheets...
Arrgggh.. just remembered that I need to send aunty I the lyrics for Paul Baloche's "Above All" =P

Dear God,
Preserve me.. *cheeky grin*

People

People are such funny and amusing beings at times. Just had a rather interesting wedding rehearsal yesterday evening. In short, uncle Loh Soon Choy is a rather interesting character. =)
I think that God uses ppl to help you improve in your short comings.
Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
I think it is so true. I figure that I might not like being scolded/rebuked but it helps me to be more like Jesus. =)
Need to stop this here. Have heaps of stuff to do. Two more things to say. I've finally got my computer at the office!!! My aunt from Brisbane's here!!! yay!!

Dear God,
Thank you for the ppl that you've put in my life. Especially the ones that care for me enough to rebuke me - not that I enjoy it when it happens or that I like it happening all the time.
Thank you too for my computer and that Ee-ee's down here.
I pray too that you help me to get through this week. You know how hectic it's going to be and how much I want to be used for your glory especially in the worship ministry.

Work Stuff

Am so GLAD that the distribution of brochures for "Rediscovering Worship Seminar" is FINALLY finished. Thanks to EJ's help of driving me around town to the other churches, we completed it yesterday. Was so tired after that that I went to bed at 8pm! Haven't done that in a while. *grimace*
Today, I'll have to prepare for my worship tonight,  pray for the Worship Ministry and work out the flow for the worship this Sunday. So it looks like I better get started for all of that or else I'll not be able to finish it all.

Dear God,
Thank you for being with us yesterday as we went around distributing the flyers.  I pray that you will be with me even as I go around finishing the stuff that I have to do today

Worship Leading

Worship yesterday evening went well.  Ended up chosing a bunch of hymns and some old songs which I really like(Then again, all the songs I chose are the ones I really like)..
Worship leading at prayer meet is something that I've not done in a while and the only reason that I did it in the first place was  because no one else wanted to do it. But I really felt the Lord's guidance in this one. The songs just flowed through my head- seriously- if it was me, I would not have chosen so many hymns. One's usually the maximum for me.
I need to pray for the worship leaders. 
Ang - who's feeling slightly under the weather and who's leading worship this Sunday
Uncle Lawrence - who has so many responsibilities and struggling with them at times.
Peng Peng- Have been so blessed by Hillsong
Ting -Parents are here
Uncle Thomas - now assistant HF leader
 
Dear God,
There always seems to be so many things to pray for. Remember the hymn- what a friend we have in Jesus  and am reminded that we can take ALL things to you in prayer. Thank You for that. =)
Thanks too for leading me in the worship yesterday.

 

Breakfast with Adrian

Just had breakfast with Adrian. He gave this super cool idea of having breakfast once a week with the Worship Leaders. =)
Dunno how well it will sit with the rest of them. =P
We discussed about discipleship and worship over breakfast.
Now I have more work to do. =P
Oh well, looks like i'll have heaps to do today.

1. Prepare for worship leading at prayer meet tonight and at cross gen on Friday
2. Check the flow for Adrian's songs.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your faithfulness. Need you to lead me today as I prepare for worship for tonight and Friday.

Nothing

My mind seems to be rather blank today.  Feeling rather sleepy too.
So much to do and yet.. feeling sluggish. =(
WANT TO SLEEP some more!
*sigh*
Need to prepare for Friday's worship and possibly tomorrow night's. =P
I hope not...

Random stuff

Colour code
Black = Neutral
Purple = Great
Red = Bad
 

1. Have not been able to blog as often as I would like to.
2. Going out with Olivia this afternoon for tea
3. Watched an awesome play yesterday about trusting God by Colin Kirton and his team - the footstool players.
4. Helped out at an awesome choir event last Tuesday.
5. Have been busy with Cross Gen
6. Sad cos have been reading less and less books
7. Been watching more animes at EJ's
8. Had an email from Liz - she says that she'll be calling soon
9. Had an awesome time with my cousins(Sern Yi, Sherene, Melissa and EJ) last Thursday evening
10. Missed them heaps after that
11. Have not been able to play with the dogs as often as I would like to
12. Yen Ling's staying over tomorrow
13. Heaps of ppl coming in and out the house
14. Aunty Poo Choo came and visit- encouraged me to go over and visit her in the UK. Have not seen her in 5 years.
15. Was not happy with how things went for worship yesterday.. ARGGGHHH!!
16. But God's been moving in the worship on Sundays for the past three Sundays now as I've been praying - and I'm sure heaps of others have been too
17. NECF has started a fast and prayer for Malaysia for 40 days till Merdeka Day.
18. My godbrother- Sean's back from YWAM DTS. Missed him heaps as he's really encouraging to me in the Worship ministry. Need more of that now that I'm working in church
19. Felt a bit disorientated at work last week. Maybe due to heaps of work and my routine had to change. NEED my computer!!!
20. Prayed for Diane who's sick with some disease in her kidney. I pray that I was a blessing to her.
21. Worship leading for Cross Gen this friday
22. Breakfast with Adrian Ang this Wednesday morning (this will be  a good thing cos of the free breakfast.. heheheh)
23. Checked out my mum's library of books last night. COOL!! HEAPS of new stuff to read!! Now I just need more time- how about it God?? =)
24. Going out with Sue Lee next monday.
25. Uncle Lawrence is coming back soon from Australia!
26. Christmas planning isn't going so great - too many conflicts coming up
27. Continually praying for Cross Gen to change- that God's will be done.
28. Been praying a whole lot more. Probably twice the amount than I usually pray
29. Been able to talk to Jorja. Passed her some bible study material to her so that she can study it with her sister
30. Still need to buy my camera
31. It's almost a month now that I'm working in church- been a really great experience so far
32. Had time to spend with my cousin Sherene.
33. Cooked with my sister today. Always good to spend a little time with her.
34.  EJ needs to check his ears. He still having some ringing or buzz.. =(
35. ICE CREAM NITE FOR AV TEAM TOMORROW!!! Yummy!
36. Am growing through a growth stage in my spiritual life! Thanks God!!
37. Need to pray about finding a place to do some studies for worship
38. Praying for spiritual mentor for EJ and Rimash
39. Had a lovely necklace with a 'R' from Peng Peng (her souvenir from her trip to Aussie Land). Was really sweet of her.

There's probably heaps more. But that's it for now. *Phew*.

Dear God,

Thank you for all the great stuff that's been happening- after all, there are heaps of purple stuff. And a few red ones. Please see me through this week as you have been the past week. Great is thy faithfulness!

Your Child,

Ruth

Love

Was at NECF prayer meeting last night and it was pretty awesome. Was challenged again to set aside time to fast and pray for this country. The 40 day prayer and fast will be starting on 22nd July.

1 Corinthians 13 was somehow imprinted in my mind. I believe that God has something to say to me- to love more. As the speaker said last night - what is ministry without love. Am now listening to the second part of Uncle George's message - what surprised me most was that he used the exact same passage. Uncle George said that when he was on board the ship, he used to love ppl in ministry the whole day. But at the end of the day, he would get irritated with his wife when he got home. Sort of know how that feels because it happens to me.

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[1] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[2] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Events
Work have been running more smoothly. Though yesterday was almost covered by an avalanche of work. Our church will be organising a Worship Seminar with Peter Rowan and Dr Daniel Chua from the UK. The event will be next month 14th, 20th and 21st August. This will be the first event that I'll be organising so I'm pretty nervous. Thank God for mum and ppl at the office who have been contributing ideas on what and how I should go about doing it. Looks like I'll be pretty busy (and draggind EJ with me =) ) in the next week in publicising the event to other churches.
*Sigh* looks like I'll have to postpone a couple of stuff-reorganising the worship structure, completing the songbook and compiling my worship library until the event is over.


Dear God,
Am glad that you've placed me in full time. Please give me the wisdom and the perseverence to complete the tasks that you have for me. Please give me a bigger heart to love others and my family.
Your Child - Ruth

Prayer and Work

Just came back from prayer meeting. It was really excellent. Everyone was really involved in prayer - it was slightly louder that usual - which I figure was a good thing.
Uncle John and Aunty Siew Wah shared about their struggles of moving to Australia. Aunty Jenny shared about the quarrel between her mum and her maid. She was really funny when she shared - I'll definitely remember her sharing for a long time.
We also prayed for the team that will be going for Kunming for two weeks. I MUST remember to pray for them.
Have been having a strong burden to pray for the Worship Team every week. Must set aside half an hour every Friday to pray for them.

Working in Church
Working in church have been rather unsettling at times. Find it difficult whenever I have to move from desk to desk. Probably because I'm quite a disorganised person and it helps me to have a permanent desk rather than moving around (and all my stuff moves with me. =P )
Been adding chords to lyrics and have been finding it difficult and rather tedious. EJ had this great idea before I left the office this evening to help with the lyrics and chords. Hope it works out. Will have to try it out tomorrow. If I go on the way I've been going, I'll go crazy really soon.
I must say that working in church has been really good so far. It's officially a week now - I enjoy it so much that I don't realise the time flying. Before I know it, it's usually 5.30 in the evening and I feel like staying on to get more stuff accomplished. The only thing that stops me is transport (Aunty Chan Boey really likes to go at 5.30 sharp) and my family(need to go home and chip in).
Other than not having a permanent desk, I find it a bit unsettling not to have set things to do. Find it weird that I have to set my own timetable everyday and to make a 'to do' list and ensure that I get through all the stuff on the list. But I guess that it's good for me - have to learn to be more organised and to manage my time more efficiently. =P
In spite of all that, I'm glad that I'm working at church. Am reminded from time to time that He is leading me and guiding me each day as I work there. It's just this great sense of being on the path that He's chosen for me.
The office environment is great. The 'three wise men' (Uncle Ean Chiew, Uncle Kah Kee and Uncle Chee Seng) are really funny and the rest of the staff have been rather supportive.
Everyday Aunty Chan Boey picks me up to church and sends me back. Her driving has been rather interesting and it's rather amusing being in her car. She makes all these funny comments about the drivers on the road. She also asks me questions in the car - how I feel about Cross Gen, What are my hobbies, tithing issues and non-existent boyfriends. =P Must say that the car rides are never EVER boring. heheh..
Okies.. That's it for now. Have been having rather late nights helping aunty Jessica with her art and craft stuff for the Kunming mission trip. We've done creating figurines out dough, baking them and painting them; making masks; making puppets and all the usual art and craft stuff. Brings back all the great memories where my mum used to do all that with us as kids. Mum's been having a great time too. =)

All that blogging probably made up for my lack of blogging lately.

Dear God,
Thank you for the lessons that you've been teaching me in the past week. Thank you too for the great times that I've been having. I praise you for all that you are. Teach me to worship you and to give you my best in all that I do. You know that I want to do heaps for You. Please make up for my lack - my messiness and my bad time management. Guard my heart and mind from evil. Teach me to live the way you want me to and to learn well the lessons you teach with a heart that you can mold to your will.

Good Story

Was really impressed with this story that Uncle John sent.

GROWING GOOD CORN

James Bender, in his book How to Talk Well (New York: McGraw-Hill Book Company, Inc., 1994) relates the story of a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours. "How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves.

So it is in other dimensions. Those who choose to be at peace must help their neighbours to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

The lesson for each of us is this: if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbours grow good corn.

Time

Wow! Time really flies by really quickly. Before I know it, it's been a while since I've updated my blog.
I've started work at church on 1st July and it's been crazy the last few days as I've been rushing around trying to get things sorted out and settled down and meet deadlines at the same time. =P
But I must say that it's just great and different working at church. Really enjoy what I'm doing and it just feels funny doing stuff that I've been doing intermittently since form 3 FULL TIME.
Working at church has been really good and interesting. The uncles and aunties at church are hilariously funny and very supportive. EJ's been a great help at times too. Though he tends to kacau ppl at STRESSFUL times- but it does make work more interesting. =)
The next few weeks will be really 'full on' as well. There's the NECF prayer event at our church next Wednesday(14/7). Sean's coming back on 22/7. There will be a two events at church on 18th and 20th July. And there's a leader's retreat on 16/7/04-18/7/04.

Went to watch "Around the World in 80 days" yesterday and really enjoyed the movie. Enjoyed my day yesterday. It was a really good day.

Heaps to do today. As usual, mum's driving me crazy by giving me heaps of stuff to do. ARGH! Gonna have to cook again in the afternoon for everyone due to SOMEONE'S miscalculations on the portion of food.
Am now looking forward to going back to work again tomorrow after all the craziness in my house (PLEASE GOD MAKE TIME GO FASTER!). =P

Pray for countries

Was just listening to a tape by Uncle George.
Am once again challenged to pray for the following nations. It's an excerpt from my notes that I made.

Top 10 most impossible God Shaking nations.
1. North Korea - very few churches and believers. Very fanatic.
2. Saudi Arabia - has almost no church. You can be imprisoned just to show a Jesus film. A national church does not exist.
3. Libya - about 10 believers from majority. Very few minority ppl.
4. Iraq - George have been praying for Iraq since he was 20 (now 45 years of praying). Iraqis are coming to Jesus because of the war. But they need more prayer and intercession
5. Iran - Young Christians are persecuted. The Iranians in other nations/around the globe are coming to know Jesus. God seems to be opening doors. Persecution is not extreme.
6. Chechnya - almost no Christian workers or missionaries.
7. Turkmenistan - The exception openess to gospel in central asia is Turkmenistan. Fanatics and great persercution
8. Tibet - No church in Tibet. You go there teaching English. You may go as a tourist or tentmaking.
9. Socotra - fanatic. Totally unevengalised.
10. Afghanistan - Now is the hour for Afghanistan.

Jesus told us to be concerned for all the countries.(the ends of the earth part in Acts 1:8). Pray that the Lord of the Harvest to send more workers.


Am reminded to read and pray with my Operation World.

Dear God,
Please send more workers to the above countries so that more may come to know you. Keep safe those who are doing your work there too.

Unfinished Tasks

Some work never seems to get done. There's always heaps to do either at home, work or at church and they never seem neverending. Not that I am complaining - I do really love the work. But there are times that I really need a break. =P
Have not seem to have had one for a while.

My idea of a break:
1. HAVE to be away from home(one can almost NEVER have a break at my house).
2. Not ministry or work related (I always end up doing something - it's just me- can't stand not doing anything at a conference or event- hmmmmm I think must recheck my life for the 'Martha syndrome' =P )
3. Listening to music for more that 2 hours in a row
4. Having a book in hand and not having any interruptions while reading it.
5. Time for meditations and just reflection on the things God has done.
6. Have to be more than one day per break.

Gonna start work at church tomorrow. There's already a pile of work to do. *sigh*
But one can always hope- can't they?? =)

Not blogging today

Not blogging much today. Am still recovering from the trip. And am feeling sick too.
Will blog more tomorrow.

My Missions Trip

Will be going to Cameron Highlands for a missions exposure trip tomorrow until Sunday.
Am leading a team of 7 people (Myself, My Mum, My Brother, Yeoh Poh Lyn, Pauline Tan, Edmund Lee and Foo Lai Tuan).
Am quite excited and apprehensive at the same time. As I mentioned in my previous entry, most of them are going for the first time for a missions trip. My dad will be there to lead us into the villages (as he's been working there full time with them for the past few years).

Itenary
Friday
8am: prayer and leave KL for Cameron Highlands
12pm: arrive at Ringlet and have lunch
1pm: Unpack, Orientation by Dad and Prayer
3.30pm: Leave for 24th Mile Village.
4pm: Arrival at 24th Mile. Make visitations and invite OA for meeting. Have praise and Worship and a time of Sharing. Have dinner with them.
8pm: leave and go to Tanah Rata to get some supplies (like rubber shoes)
10pm: Pray as a team and sleep

Saturday
7am: Rise and Shine, Breakfast, QT and prayer
8am: Load supplies and Leave for Remote Village by Jeep
11am: Arrival, unload supplies and do visitation
12pm: lunch and go as the spirit leads.
4pm: decide on whether we will be staying the night. If not, start journey home so it won't get to dark at the end of the journey and that we won't fall into a ravine. =P
10pm: Pray and get some much needed sleep

Sunday
10am: Church
12pm: lunch and Start leaving for home (unless we have more strength to visit another village).
4/5pm: Home Sweet Home.


Prayer points
1. Journey Mercies
2. Great Weather (So that the jeep doesn't get stuck and that we won't have to trek into the village.. Shuddering at that thought)
3. God's protection and covering - spiritual and physical
4. Great experience for the team members - that they will be challenged and see God's heart and love for the OA people.

Dear God,
Please watch over the team and that we will have a great time getting to know your heart for the lost and be challenged once again to move out of our comfort zones. I pray against the attacks of the evil one and that Your hand will guide us and lead us. I pray too that You will comfort any anxious parents. Please bring us all back safely and that we will be challenged once again for You. May our love for You be so evident that it will overcome any language and cultural barriers.

Changing minds

I hope that I'm not one who is prone to a constant state of fickle mindedness. Get so mad when people do it to me!!! =(

Yesterday and Today

Last night was really good. Went for prayer meeting and was encouraged to see the church standing behind us in prayer. Was especially encouraged by Uncle Victor's sharing - he shared on how when we try to do spiritual works, spiritual attacks will come and reminded me to stand firm cos the reward is great (sounds familiar? =) ).
Though he freaked me out a bit by sharing the incident that happened while he was there last year-my dad's jeep overturned and he SERIOUSLY almost died with the 'bomoh' and headman that was with him(it turned out well and the two that was with him became more open to the gospel- Praise God!).. I just hoped that the parents were not freaked out by the sharing. =P
Reminded me once again that this is not a 'play play trip'. And I never know if my life will be lost- but I guess it will be worth it if it was for the sake of the gospel.
Enough of serious thoughts for now- it's not even 10am!
Looks like it's gonna be a looooooonnnnnggg and crazy day today. =P
1. Have to cook and clean for lunch and dinner
2. Packing for the trip tomorrow (which is currently non-existent-the packing not the trip)
3. Still yet to do my quiet time (should do it right after this)
4. Hold the fort(my home-but the kids turn it into a battlefield at times =P)
5. Play with Kenny's Camera (ahhh... the fun part)
6. Continually pray
7. Listen to BM songs (for the trip)
8. Type, add the chords and print out the lyrics for the BM songs we'll be singing.
9. Watch the kids (This is the fun and the AAARRRGGGHH part)
10. Last minute shopping for the OA ppl like sweets and biscuits.
10. And as usual, the list goes on and on and on and on.. =P

Hope that I'll have at least one last time to blog in the afternoon.

Dear God
Give me strength! Sometimes have this feeling that You like watching me go crazy. But I know You love me anyways.

Dear God

I cannot imagine sometimes how You can love me. When I come into Your Holy presence - I despise myself as I see what a wretched and sinful being I am.
But I praise You and thank You for all that You are. You are my Creator, Maker, Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End, The Great I AM, Shepherd, Lover of My Soul and My Best Friend.
Let me not forget to tremble and get on my knees(and let my heart be higher than my head). Forgive me of the times when I allow myself to become bigger than You. Forgive me too when I see the speck of dust in the eyes of others and neglect the plank in mine. May you humble me in those times.
Give me the courage to show others how much I love You.
Let me decrease that You might increase - no matter how much it hurts or how painful the refining fire is.
Never let my love for You ever EVER grow cold.
This is my prayer. Thank You for being small enough to hear me, for being close enough to feel me and for holding me whenever I start to cry. =)