Thoughts

A friend recently said that serving in ministry can be very lonely(after all the meetings one has to attend, one does not really have much time for friends-I know it sounds bad but it's true) and a lot of sacrifice has usually be made(I find that my usual tv time has dwindled to almost nothing, have not watched a movie in the past month, have not have energy to go out for mamak as I used to). I think this is so true. Friends sometimes think that I'm crazy to live as I do - from meetings to meetings, fully focused on the ministries I'm in and almost no time for myself to do the things I love to do. My family usually complains that they don't see me often enough - more likely because I don't then carry out my chores as I should(I try to complete them on Mondays if I'm not too exhausted). Don't mistake me, I do get my occasional rest (preferably at least one night a week or at least a couple of stolen hours to myself to do some beloved reading).
I think no one but God can really understand why I do the things I do.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be to live as others do - to just hang out with friends whenever and just do your own thing; playing computer games, watching tv, watching animes and reading to one's hearts content, going out more often and living life for myself - not for any ministry or doing any of God's will. I wonder if I'll be as satisfied, if not more, if I were living that kind of life. Probably not - maybe happier (and that's a big maybe)- but definitely not as satisfied.
From time to time, I do stop whatever I'm doing and just spend short spans of time just to think if I'm doing all these just because, if this is just my will, or am I just being swept into the storm. So far, I've had blessed reassurance that I'm where I am doing what I'm doing because He has placed me here in this moment in time. I see His plans just unfold before me. For now, He's just stretching me, challenging me to make full use of my time - and yet - give Him at least an hour of my day. It's definitely not a comfortable process. There are times where I just feel like crying,
and many other times where I just feel as if I've a burr under my skin... But He is faithful and just- He does not give me more than I can bear. For that, I thank You Jesus.