I find forgiveness is one of the hardest lesson to learn. When I am hurt, especially by people whom I call friends (being hurt by strangers don't seem to bother me that much) - I instinctively want to lash out and hit back HARD. After all, I'm the one who's in the right - and they, being the stupid people they are, are TOTALLY WRONG... Worse still, they should know better than to hurt me because they are my friends... right??After all the crying, the struggling and the questioning - I usually find myself totally tired. 'Sien'(fed up) would be a better word. It's when I reach this point that I seem to have no options left - except to turn to Him.
The most amazing thing is: I seem to find rest and refreshment in Him. Like a weary, aching body finds its respite on a comfortable and cozy bed. Like a parched soul that quenches its thirst from cool streams of water.
It's in these moments when my Father seems to comfort me and call me His child.
It's in these moment that I remember the grace that He has shown me.
It's in these moments that I am reminded of His mercy.
I begin to see my lack - my own stubborness, my pride, my self-righteousness and the how little I love.
I begin to see the lack of mercy and lack of forgiveness that have pervaded my every thought.
It's in that moment.... I learn to forgive - despite the hurt and the pain inflicted, despite the injustice.
How could I do any less, when He has forgiven much? Shown more mercy and grace then I could ever deserve? When I've done so much more stupid things that I'd hope to be forgiven for and already have been?
Once again, I learn the lesson of forgiveness...
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