Ramblings

Things are gearing up today for STM Talent night 2008. It's been an eventful day. Quite a few things have been threatening to go wrong since this morning. I must admit it's been the first time in ages where I've taken a task and felt as if I'm not going to make it. Underlying everything is a sense of discouragement. Somehow, the people that I thought I could count on seems to have deserted me and it's been rather disheartening. The very ones that I thought would be encouraging seems to be more critical. Worse still, there are the few insensitive people who make demands despite my telling them that I'm really really over my head already.

This afternoon, when I finally could no longer take it, I finally prayed. The funny thing is that as I prayed, I realised how much I focus on my own abilities and strength. *sigh*. I remember then that I forget and see how foolish I can be. Of course, things don't solve itself on its own after prayers. However, I begin to see things to be thankful for. Though I feel as if I've been let down by those who I thought would help, I am thankful for the ones who DO help. I'm encouraged by the first years who put in a lot of effort into the event. I'm thankful for the few people who don't turn me down when I've asked for help. I'm thankful for the coffee session I had with a friend - though I didn't realise it at the time, it helped me to have a little time off from planning the event for a little while.

Tomorrow will definitely be a long day. The rest of the week will be hectic as well. I find myself wishing that I could just curl up on my bed with a book for a few uninterrupted hours and without the impending sense that there's urgent things to be done. Oh well, inshallah it'll happen next week....