It has begun!!!

It is time...
It is the time for lack of sleep, lots of coffee, lots of stress, lots of reading, lots of writing....

It is time to start the elimination of the pile of assignments until the end of semester..
:p

Offering - Paul Baloche

Quite like this song.... This version is simple but quite nice...



OFFERING
Paul Baloche

The sun cannot compare to the glory of Your love
There is no shadow in Your presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before Your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven

PRE-CHORUS
It's only by Your blood
And it's only through Your mercy
Lord I come

CHORUS
I bring an offering of worship to my king
No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing
Jesus, may You receive the honor that Your due
O Lord I bring an offering to You

Some wonderings

It's election day today... I wonder what the results are going to be and the implications thereafter...

The church office has been rather quiet today... I wonder why......

Sayings by Yoshua

"We are a hilarious bunch of liberals, conservatives and fundamentalists" - Yoshua Chua (describing the STM community).

"Even brilliant minds can't think of solutions so they migrate" - Yoshua Chua (during our conversation about the upcoming election and the issues that we face in this country)

*Author's note: Taken with permission from Yoshua.

Gardening...

Every Thursday (today included), the whole seminary is involved in gardening from 5-6pm in the evenings. Gardening usually entails sweeping the dried leaves or cleaning up the compound. It's usually compulsory for everyone on campus (including non-residential students) and it's not a big secret that students occasionally pray for rain so that the gardening will be cancelled. Once, when it rained, one of my friends led the guys in singing 'God is so good!'. *grin*

Starting from this week onwards, I have decided to volunteer to help out a good friend doing maintenance instead(Who knows, this kind of training will come in handy when I go out into the field). Today we sorta took an old computer table and started restoring it (sawing, sand paper-ing, etc...)... I must say it is infinitely more fun and much more satisfying too! (Not to mention that it's a good excuse for not being involved in gardening). *cheeky grin

Election's coming and a grandma's blogging!

One of my friend from seminary, Vic Cern, pointed out an interesting story- in an effort to help me think of interesting things to post up on my blog (thanks VC!!!). The story is in the local newspaper about a grandmother who will be standing for elections in one of the states going blogging. Story can be found here.

One thing I find interesting in the article are the three person who went to help her set up her blog, facebook and gmail account. I thought that their initiative to find her and help her was rather cool.

For those who are interested, her blog is at: http://maimunbintiyusuf.blogspot.com/

Quite worth checking out - it's got Youtube stuff on her, pics, articles and even how much she's spending for campaigning.

Shadi

A narrative Arabic song.

Long time ago, when I was a young girl, a boy used to come from the nearby woods
His name was Shadi
Shadi and I used to play in the snow, we sang for each other and ran in the wind
We carved our names in the rocks and the wind bit our faces.

One of these days, the world was smothered with fire
some people began fighting against other people
and the fighting spread to our hills
Shadi ran to watch
I got scared, I yelled: Shadi where are you going, Shadi
He disappeared, he could not hear me, the valley took him in
Since that day I never saw him again
Shadi was lost for ever

Snow fell and melted away for twenty times
I grew up and Shadi remained the boy I knew, playing in the snow.

Note: This song was taken from here.

Songs and Language

As usual, I went out this evening after my Mark class with a few of my friends from seminary to a local coffee shop(it's a little bit like the coffee shop for men only in Egypt where they smoke shisha and play dominoes till 2 in the morning). It's always a good way to chill out after a long day at class. The conversations with this group of friends can get rather interesting as we discuss things that we find interesting (or share our friend's frustrations). ;)

This evening, somehow our conversation was about the translating words into Greek. One of my friends told us of how he translated some simple songs from English to Greek (like 'I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart') as part of his learning Greek during his time. There were some further attempts to translate other songs and it turned out to be quite fun and hilarious. As they were attempting to translate the songs (I realised my Greek is super rusty already. Interestingly enough most of the words that first came to mind was Arabic. :p), I had the thought that songs are really a good way to practice one's language. My friend was telling me that as you translate the songs, you remember the language better... How true...

It also brought to mind how much I enjoyed learning Arabic through songs. I remember in the last few classes, my Arabic teacher played some contemporary beautiful Arabic songs. One of the songs was entitled 'Shadi' by Fairuz (Arabic: فيروز‎, also spelled Fairouz or Fayrouz). It was a rather poignant song but the beauty of the language came through as a story is told of a girl's memory of her childhood friend Shadi in the hills of Lebanon. I can't remember the title of the other Arabic song that I really liked. It was a rather witty and humourous(and sardonic) in nature as it described life in Egypt. My teacher informed me that the Egyptians liked it a lot and it was played over the radio a lot last year during Ramadan period. I learnt quite a few local slangs through that song and used it to use on my pastor in Cairo. It was quite fun.

Am now learning another language this semester - Hebrew. My Hebrew lecturer was just telling us that he'll teach us some songs that our class can sing for the passover feast that we'll be celebrating in our seminary in two weeks time. Am looking forward to it. :)

Quote

"The will of God -- nothing less, nothing more, nothing else." - F. E. Marsh

Brokeness and Healing

As we prepare for or get involved in ministry, we face much brokeness - in others and within ourselves. If we choose to look beyond the surface, I think that we would be able to see that quite a few people carry baggages. They are broken people. While it is true that Christ brings healing, I think that many of us forget that the healing is at many times a process.

I guess that as I question about the topic of forgiveness, I am contemplating on the topic of brokeness and healing as the two go together. Perhaps it is because of the people that I meet or talk about in the last couple of days. I think it's scary to think of how many people in the body of Christ go about doing ministry and not work out their own brokeness. Just think of the impact that they will have in their church.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be broken - I think that there are benefits to being broken. One of which is that those who are ministered to may be able to identify better with those who are broken. On the other hand, I am coming to the conclusion that those who are ministering and are broken have to go through the process of healing first. I agree with one of my friends who recenly said - without healing, those who are hurt will hurt those who are already hurting as they minister.

Some time ago, I wrote this post on 'The cry of a seminarian' as my fellow friends and I wrestle with our expectations as we journey through life in the seminary. After further thought, I would like also to add that that the element of dealing with brokeness and healing should be a vital part of life in seminary. I am not saying that the onus should purely be on the lecturer(though I always think that they have a great role to play as they are examples of what we are to be when we go into ministry). I think that the students have their part to play too- we have to first choose to see our problems and our brokeness. Then we have to choose to allow ourselves to go through the painful process of healing. I think that this is a big necessity as we journey through life in the seminary. The more we ignore the fact that we have a problem, the greater the problem potentially gets.

A few friends and I have been recently quite shocked when we learnt about a person who just could not see their own faults and choosing to put the blame on everyone else. The extent of the blindness of the person to their own fault is rather shocking. Maybe this person has been hurt in the past and have not dealt with it. It seems that this person has chosen to deal with it by blaming others and thinking themselves totally blameless. I am not judging this person - though this person has brought a lot of grief to one of my close friend. All I am saying is that, if we ourselves do not deal with our own brokeness, we too will end up like this person. We become so blind to our own faults and instead of dealing with it, we begin to blame others and do not realise how much we hurt others from our own hurts.

Through all of this, I am saying that it is essential for those in the seminary and those preparing for ministry to examine the brokeness in our lives and go through healing before we go out there. As one of my pastor once reminded me many years ago - "Doing ministry is not a joke. It is a serious matter as we deal with souls everyday."

Great Light of the World

Was going through my collection of music as I tried to find some comfort this evening and I came across this song. I pretty much identify with it right now. While it speaks of being the darkness, I am comforted as I am reminded of the One who brings light into the darkness.

To forgive divine...

Every once in a while, the issue of forgiveness comes up- perhaps it's because I still have much to learn in this area. Admittedly, the lesson doesn't seem to get any easier. Maybe it's because the issues gets more complicated as one grows older.

Alexander Pope once said - 'It is human to err, to forgive divine'. While I admit that people make mistakes, being the recipient mean coping with the hurt inflicted. Sometimes, it hurts like crazy. It makes forgiving the wrongdoer so hard. As much as I long to be a sincere follower of Christ, forgiveness is a word that is so much easier said than done. I read novels where people get injured and the wound starts to fester. In order for the healing to begin, the wound is sometimes first probed for any bits that may cause infection and is followed by the cleansing of the wound. The greater the wound is, the worse the pain gets. As the wound is being probed and cleansed, the pain may be even more intense than when it was inflicted - as if it was not bad enough in the first place. I guess that's what makes forgiveness so hard.

It's not that I don't want to forgive. I do. And I wish I could do it much more freely. The pain of probing the wound gets so great sometimes that I'd just rather leave it alone - even though it's stupid and I know that it may fester and the wound will take even longer to heal. The fact of the matter is: my soul seems to recoil at the thought of facing such pain and I push it till another day.

I find forgiveness is such a hard lesson to learn - impossible even sometimes and I come to the conclusion that 'To forgive is indeed divine'. Perhaps I'll be able to forgive some time soon. But not today - it still hurts too much.

You are God Alone

This song has sort of been running in my head the last few days.... I quite like it- just a good reminder of who God is (or what He is not)...

You are not a god created by human hands
You are not a god dependent on any mortal man
You are not a god in need of
Anything we can give
By Your plan
That's just the way it is

CHORUS
You are God alone from before time began
You were on Your throne
You were God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You're the only God whose power none can contend
You're the only God whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God - That's just the way it is

CHORUS

Bridge
You're unchangeable
You're unshakable
You're unstoppable
That's what You are

Restoration

Word for the day: Restoration...

Election fever at STM(??!!?)

Elections are going to be held soon - on March 8th. However, I still cannot believe that someone actually posted this poster outside their dorm room door at STM! Hehehe...

None But Jesus...

As I prepare for my Sabbath (a much needed one), I was reminded the song 'None But Jesus'. As I shared about my trip on Friday with my college group, I was strongly reminded about how precious my relationship with Jesus is to me. I was again reminded about how blessed I am to be able to call Him friend, Lord and Saviour.

I dedicate this song to my family in Egypt (and to my sister and brother - Nicole and Lee - who are now in the States). May you always focus on Him as He leads your steps each day. I am praying that you will keep on keeping on. :)




In the quiet
In the stillness
I know that you are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won't refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

CHORUS
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do your will
When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

Repeat CHORUS

Bridge:
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord -forevermore
(Repeat)

CHORUS

CNY pics

Together after a long time - My family and my uncle Henry's(my dad's brother) family.


Now that I'm finally back home after being away for two weeks, I can upload some of my pics that I took with my family during Chinese New Year(CNY) here. CNY ended just on Thursday (two days ago). It is usually celebrated a period over 15 days. This past Chinese New Year has been a good one for me - my whole family gathered in Cameron Highlands and for the first time in many years, we spent it with my uncle's family. It was a memorable time for me.

There were lots and lots of food (of course) - the usual 'siew yok' (roasted pork), vegetables from camerons, curry chicken, etc... We also went out for lots and lots of 'teh tarik'(coffee/tea) sessions together. It was good to just enjoy each others company after being apart for many years...

In My Weaknesses...

I'm supposed to be in bed asleep by now. However, I'm a little excited - so I guess that blogging will help me to sleep a little bit better. :) Last night's talent night went well - I will hopefully post some pictures when I've compiled them. I realise that I've not posted much pics lately. I guess it's not surprising - I find that my emotional exhaustion lately does tend to dry up one's creative juices. The fact that the internet connection in seminary has not been that great could be the other factor(I was very delighted when I was back in my church office- the connection there was such bliss compared to the struggle that i've been having over the last two weeks). I supposed that many things could have been done better for the talent night- but considering the state that I was in and the time limit that I had, I'm satisfied. I was encouraged to see how everyone pulled their weight and came up with the wonderful performances -they were creative, funny and most importantly - they did their best. Their efforts truly complemented the theme for the night - 'Unity in Diversity'. It was wonderful to see so many people from different backgrounds and from different races come together and put on a night of much fun, fellowship and laughter.

Through this event I learnt a small but important lesson - empowering people. A few people commented about the choices of emcees. I was reminded that God does not necessarily use those who are gifted but those who are available. One of them almost quit the night before. I understood his stress with his study workload as well as having to emcee the event (I too was ready throw in the towel -if I could've done so). He previously tentatively agreed to it and I admit that I was begining to get desperate after having been turned down so many times. In my desperation, I prayed and God gave the wisdom to talk to him and prayed with him. As I ministered to Him, I too was ministered. God reminded me that He uses the weak that He may be glorified. As the both of us pressed on - despite our weaknesses - He was glorified as we allowed Him to work in us. I don't know about the emcee, but I know that I had no more strength to go on - if not for the grace and strength of God. I was so exhausted that I went immediately to bed after getting back - and despite resolves to wake up early to prepare an important sharing to my young people, I just could not get up until it was time to go for chapel.

This also meant that I only had the afternoon to prepare for my sharing to my youth group about my recent trip. It was like working a miracle -and miraculously i managed to finish preparing for it with 30 mins to spare. *phew* Kar Yong gave some very helpful suggestions which I'm very thankful for - though some of his suggestions were also rather cheeky. *grin*

In the end - I'm glad of the way the sharing turned out. The young people were responsive and asked quite a few questions. Some came up to say that they were really challenged. I tell them that it's a process and to continue to allow God to work in them. I'm glad that seeds were sown and I will trust God to see them grow - just as throughout the years, different people have planted seeds into my life and God has and will continue to see the fruition of those seeds.

With all that I've been going through this past week, I am amazed at how well things are turning out. I'm reminded so strongly that in my weaknesses and when I choose to let Him take over, He will lift carry me through and He is glorified. I know again and again -there's no way it could've been me. There's no way it could've been my own efforts. Again, all I can say is - Thank You my father in heaven. Thank You.

Ramblings

Things are gearing up today for STM Talent night 2008. It's been an eventful day. Quite a few things have been threatening to go wrong since this morning. I must admit it's been the first time in ages where I've taken a task and felt as if I'm not going to make it. Underlying everything is a sense of discouragement. Somehow, the people that I thought I could count on seems to have deserted me and it's been rather disheartening. The very ones that I thought would be encouraging seems to be more critical. Worse still, there are the few insensitive people who make demands despite my telling them that I'm really really over my head already.

This afternoon, when I finally could no longer take it, I finally prayed. The funny thing is that as I prayed, I realised how much I focus on my own abilities and strength. *sigh*. I remember then that I forget and see how foolish I can be. Of course, things don't solve itself on its own after prayers. However, I begin to see things to be thankful for. Though I feel as if I've been let down by those who I thought would help, I am thankful for the ones who DO help. I'm encouraged by the first years who put in a lot of effort into the event. I'm thankful for the few people who don't turn me down when I've asked for help. I'm thankful for the coffee session I had with a friend - though I didn't realise it at the time, it helped me to have a little time off from planning the event for a little while.

Tomorrow will definitely be a long day. The rest of the week will be hectic as well. I find myself wishing that I could just curl up on my bed with a book for a few uninterrupted hours and without the impending sense that there's urgent things to be done. Oh well, inshallah it'll happen next week....

The painting...

Her thoughts occupying her mind, she walked down the path unseeingly. A little frown furrowed her forehead, her mouth set in a grim line. She was so deep in her thoughts that she did not notice Him. He watched her concernedly as he saw her stumble a little as she continued blindly in her walk. He called to her - but she did not seem to hear him.

He sighed. He longed just to be with her and to have her in his arms again. If only she'd let him help carry her burdens. However, she seemed to have completely forgotten about him. Every day he watched her. He saw the sorrow that she carried that no one else seem to notice. He saw through her smiles. He saw the tiredness deep within. Again and again, he wished that she'd come to him just because she loved him. Sure, there were times when she'd come to him to ask for help for her friends and he'd do what he could but before he could just sit and talk to her, she seem to wander off again.

He tried to tell her in different ways that he loved her - through her friends, through her family, in so many different ways. Yet, she did not seem to hear.


As he watched her today, he painted a picture. A little streak of red. A little grey. Some clouds. He stood back from his painting and was satisfied. He looked at her as she continued her walk. Gently, quietly, he whispered her name. She continued her walk, then belatedly stopped. She looked around, unsure if she heard actually something. Her eyes fixed back on the ground as she decided to walk on. Again, he called to her - gently, softly. This time she was sure she heard something through the fogginess of her thoughts. A shiver ran up her spine. She stopped and closed her eyes. 'That voice sounds familiar,' she thought. 'Could it be him?' Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up.


What she saw took her breath away. Before her was his painting in the sky - the beautiful streak of red of dusk in the midst of the greyness of the clouds. In the painting, she saw what he intended her to see - a message of his love for her. A tear rolled down onto her cheek. How was it that her love for him was so fickle that she so easily forgot him? More tears flowed. He called her once more in his still small voice. Slowly, she turned and walked towards him....