It's now the period of the NECF 40 days of fast and prayer. With much fear and trembling, I've decided to participate this year (The last time I did this two years ago, I ended up deciding to study in STM.. Hmm...). I probably would not have chosen to do it if not for the fact that there's a need for a few things in my life that needs to be sorted out at this point of time based on some choices made a couple of months ago (The possible mission trip at the end of the year is one of them. The other is rather personal.)For me, so far the only side effects of fasting are forgetfulness(for some reason, I kept on leaving things in G's car) and low levels of energy in the afternoon (I missed the first hour of one of my favourite class because I was just so zonked out. Good thing I managed to make it for the last two hours of class and the lecturer was very understanding).
Fasting's rather difficult for me for several reasons. Like any true Malaysian, I love food - a LOT. Giving up food for most of the day is rather difficult especially when I think of all the lovely food that I could be eating. *sigh*.
Lesson #1: I find that I'm a whole lot more thankful for my food when I break my fast and appreciate every bite that I eat even more. I also find myself thinking more and more of those who have to do without food - to have a glimpse of how difficult it must be for them (I sometimes dread the evenings especially the time after my dinner cos it feels like a long time more before I have my next meal. As it is, it's already hard to choose to do without food. However, to not have a choice, that's a different ballgame altogether)...
Another struggle that I have with this fasting thing is I feel as if I'm losing out on my usual lunch fellowship with my close friends. Part of me really struggle with God about this. This conversation sorta took place:
" Do you love me?"
"You know I do Lord. But it's so difficult cos I want to spend time with my friends too... One of them will be graduating in a couple of months time and one of the few times I get to spend with him is during lunch time..."
"Do you love ME? Even more than you love them? Or have your love for them taken my place in your life?"
"I do love you Lord... But... Erm.... I guess it's a really close one sometimes. I guess I'll really have to sit work that out. *sigh*"
"Do you love me? Will you just spend a little more time with me just for this period of time? Cos I do want to have that time with you for just this period of time - I want you to rethink your priorities - do you make it a priority to be with me the way you make it a priority for you to spend time with your friends?"
Lesson #2: My time with God needs a lot of relooking at...
One afternoon, as I was doing some reflection and thinking about this fasting business, this thought came to mind.. "Obedience is better than sacrifice". It would somehow be more important for me to obey him and not fast than to fast and disobey Him. It was not the act of fasting that was really important - but rather the obeying Him that was more important..
Lesson #3: Sure, in this case, it's a sacrifice for me to fast but how about obeying God? To me, if I'm taking this fasting thing seriously, how important is obeying God in comparison? Hmmmm....
Fasting's rather difficult for me for several reasons. Like any true Malaysian, I love food - a LOT. Giving up food for most of the day is rather difficult especially when I think of all the lovely food that I could be eating. *sigh*.
Lesson #1: I find that I'm a whole lot more thankful for my food when I break my fast and appreciate every bite that I eat even more. I also find myself thinking more and more of those who have to do without food - to have a glimpse of how difficult it must be for them (I sometimes dread the evenings especially the time after my dinner cos it feels like a long time more before I have my next meal. As it is, it's already hard to choose to do without food. However, to not have a choice, that's a different ballgame altogether)...
Another struggle that I have with this fasting thing is I feel as if I'm losing out on my usual lunch fellowship with my close friends. Part of me really struggle with God about this. This conversation sorta took place:
" Do you love me?"
"You know I do Lord. But it's so difficult cos I want to spend time with my friends too... One of them will be graduating in a couple of months time and one of the few times I get to spend with him is during lunch time..."
"Do you love ME? Even more than you love them? Or have your love for them taken my place in your life?"
"I do love you Lord... But... Erm.... I guess it's a really close one sometimes. I guess I'll really have to sit work that out. *sigh*"
"Do you love me? Will you just spend a little more time with me just for this period of time? Cos I do want to have that time with you for just this period of time - I want you to rethink your priorities - do you make it a priority to be with me the way you make it a priority for you to spend time with your friends?"
Lesson #2: My time with God needs a lot of relooking at...
One afternoon, as I was doing some reflection and thinking about this fasting business, this thought came to mind.. "Obedience is better than sacrifice". It would somehow be more important for me to obey him and not fast than to fast and disobey Him. It was not the act of fasting that was really important - but rather the obeying Him that was more important..
Lesson #3: Sure, in this case, it's a sacrifice for me to fast but how about obeying God? To me, if I'm taking this fasting thing seriously, how important is obeying God in comparison? Hmmmm....
1 comment:
Hmm...would God explicitly tell you not to fast?
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