An unexpected turn

It never ceases to amaze me where You lead me on this road. Just when I think that the road ahead is straight and leads me to where I've been before, I encounter another unexpected turn. At times, it is exciting. At times, it is hard.

Today has been a pretty great day for me. I made a new friend. For most of today, I had an awesome time getting to know this new friend and have learnt so many new things. The amazing thing is how the friendship was just so 'happening' - like a house on fire. I got to know this friend from a friend from my trip from Cairo who I knew through a mutual friend who I got to know from another long time friend here in Malaysia.

Am beginning to think that there are no coincidences in the way that God leads. I suppose that life is now back on the main road again - but who knows where this unexpected turn will take me one day??? It seems to me that the unexpected turns over the last many years are slowly taking me to a place that I never dreamt of. But for today, this unexpected turn was a good diversion - and a good reminder of how my burden for a certain group of people is not a mere dream or what one would term in Malay as 'angan-angan'. I was reminded again that what is impossible for men - whatever the obstacles may be (race, religion or nationality), it is not impossible for God.

It was an experience to have an Arab Christian visiting my church today (the person welcoming visitors had to read the visitors card a few times to confirm that he was from UAE) - as much as I think that it was a new experience for my friend.

It was quite an experience for me to learn more about and from him in these areas:

- how God preserved his life over a few incidences

- his job - how he was placed in this job despite his nationality and his belief and his age

- how his belief influences his worldview and how he actually practices it daily (especially in his job)

- how life is like in the UAE (both the ups and the downs)

- how much a guy have a lot to say (besides someone else that I know. *grin)
- I was especially impressed that despite his position and his income(both of which came as shockers to me), he was quite an easy person to get along with and quite straightforward.

Like I said, it's been a pretty good day for me cos I made a new friend. As to what lies ahead from here, I can Cairo's my big brother's words "We'll see... We'll see.."

Selamat Hari Merdeka ke-51

Hari ini negara Malaysia akan meraikan Hari Merdeka yang ke-51. Sebagai anak Malaysia, saya berharap semoga negara kita selalu aman dan damai dan rakyatnya - walaupun terdiri daripada pelbagai kaum dan agama - hidup bersama-sama dalam harmoni. Selamat Hari Merdeka kepada semua kawan-kawan dan keluarga!!!

Author's note: Thought to write something in BM, and in doing so, realised how rusty my BM is! Can't believe that I was able to write essays years ago in the language...

Book - "The Voice: A story of faith and trust" by R.W. Metlen

If you are stressed out or discouraged, and would like to read a light hearted book, I'd recommend this book. My friend grabbed me whilst I was in the library a couple of weeks ago and thrusted the book at me and said 'you gotta read this!'. I did, and it was hillarious! And so true... Read it in under 5 mins - the pics are funny.. *grin. The book cover is already quite cute.. :)

My Funny Father

Last week when I went for a trip with my family, I was reminded of how funny my father is. Before heading for our family vacation, we went to Camerons to pick my dad up. I was feeling rather crappy by the end of the journey and had a terrible headache and was coughing quite a storm. So I asked my dad for some panadol before we went out for dinner. Naturally, I was expecting this from my dad:


Instead, I got this:



Hahaha. If you read the label carefully, you'd realise there are ONE THOUSAND tablets in the bottle(Btw - just realised that the man on the left hand side of the pic is my dad! Didn't realised that he was there when I took the pic. *grin). The bottle was half full and I had to put it in my handbag (couldn't find anything to put the tablets in at the time and my head was really pounding) and head off to dinner. As soon as I finished eating, I brought it out and my mum and my siblings laughed till they cried when I explained why I had this humongous bottle of paracetamol with me. My father was quite amused as well.

After dinner, we went back to the house and my cough was quite bad so my dad found some cough medicine for me. He then said that he'd get me some water to down the medicine. Instead of getting a glass of water, he passed me this:

A 5 Liter mineral water bottle! My siblings just laughed and laughed and laughed. In the end, I had to find my water bottle and pour the water into it. My dad was just really funny that evening.

Looking on the bright side, all these antics reminded me of these verses:
Matthew 7:7-11 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

The alternate gardening

This year during STM gardening time, I have decided not to do gardening.. Hahaha.. no- it's not that I've been exempted from or 'ponteng'(play truant) gardening. Earlier this year, my friend and 'big brother' Matthew Chay told me that he would be heading a small team(2-3 persons) who will be helping out with doing some minor maintainence in STM and asked me if I would like to help. I readily agreed as I figured that it would be more interesting than gardening - which usually consists of sweeping the ground, throwing dry leaves, cleaning the drain and cleaning the dining hall and common room and I was right. :)

This afternoon, Matt and I did some painting on the road - it was one of those painting the lines of the carpark. It was a fun experience (and definitely heaps better than gardening)! Of course there were some jibes about me being a girl and whether I'm capable of doing such stuff, that the paint was not yellow (hey - Mr Lee,our STM maintenance guy gave us the white paint ok?!?), that the lines I painted were crooked (:p it was pretty straight upon closer inspection by the accusers. *grin). Nevertheless it's was good fun!

Besides painting, we've done some woodwork (built a funky looking shoe shelf - a prototype which Mr Lee says that will be eventually be done for all the dorms, reconverted an old computer desk and last week we built some sort of netting), some electrical stuff (we replaced a ceiling fan and the control in two different rooms) and other odd jobs (checked out the wiring for a water heater, fixed a fuse in a cooler and got it working, and fixed a railing in one of the dorm rooms). I've really enjoyed working with Matt. Of course he's been quite a gentleman and do generally do the heavier stuff - but lets me have my turn as well. He reminds me of my other big bro in Australia -steady and dependable and good natured. :)

Anyways, it's been quite a learning experience for me - who knows, it might come in handy one day... Doing stuff like these have been infinitely more satisfying too - especially when one looks at the created stuff (like the bookshelf or the painted stuff).

For Fun - Happy Working Song

Thought this was a little bizarre when I first watched it- when fairy tales and reality meet. *grin

Article- "Spotlight on Egypt's marriage crisis" By Magdi Abdelhadi

This article somehow caught my attention.. Thought it gave some interesting insights to Egyptian culture.

"I want to get married" is a perfectly normal thing to say for a young Egyptian man. But when a girl says it in such a conservative society - let alone writes a book with that title - she is making a political statement.

"Girls are not supposed to be actively seeking something, a girl simply exists for someone to marry or divorce her," says the author of the top-selling book, Ghada Abdelaal. "To say she wants something is seen as impolite."

The book started as a blog, before it was spotted by an Egyptian publisher and printed as a series of comic sketches in which flawed and failed suitors came knocking at her parents' door.
A paranoid policeman, a hirsute fundamentalist, a pathological liar and other hilarious caricatures are portrayed in sparkling Egyptian vernacular.

Marriage anxiety
The veiled, softly-spoken Abdelaal is a sharp and witty observer of social incongruity in Egypt, a feisty spirit trying to tear up stifling tradition.

She says her target is not Egyptian men but a tradition known as "gawwaz el-salonat" (living room marriage), where a stranger is brought to the family home and the daughter must decide whether to marry him on the basis of this brief encounter.

"People who go for a picnic need to know each other a little longer than that - let alone make a lifelong commitment," Abdelaal says.

Read more here.

Family Vacation coming up

Will be away on Friday till Sunday for a family holiday. It's been a while(something like more than 10 years) since we've had one(trips to Camerons technically don't count -since my dad's home is there), so I'm rather looking forward to it. Thanks to one pastor friend who helped my family to book the place, the trip will actually happen! there were quite a few doubts because somehow, somewhere, something always come up - my dad almost cancelled it due to his work a week or two ago!

We'll be going to somewhere near Lumut and probably hop over to Pangkor island. Am really really looking forward to a break with my family and hanging out with them as it's been a while since everyone is in one place at the same time.

The power of the cross

Was going through one of my friend's song album and came across this song.. Quite beautiful... Not surprising as Stuart Townend is one of the writers. I particularly love the lyrics of the 3rd verse:
Oh, to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suffering I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

By Keith Getty & Stuart Townend


Oh, to see the dawn, of the darkest day
Christ on the road to Calvary
Tried by sinful men,Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood

CHORUS
This, the power of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath
That we stand forgiven at the cross

Oh, to see the pain written on Your face
Bearing the awesome weight of sin
Every bitter thought, every evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow

CHORUS

Now the daylight flees, Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head
Curtain torn in two, Dead are raised to life
'Finished!' the victory cry.

CHORUS

Oh, to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suffering I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

FINAL CHORUS:
This, the power of the cross
Son of God - slain for us
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross

Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music.

The grass is not greener on the other side

"No matter what, I am glad to be where I am right now".

Author's note: Thanks to my friend Peter Farag, who has helped me appreciate these words more than when I first wrote them.

Lost in Wonder

It's just one of those songs that just came to my mind today. This song was written a couple of years ago by a British songwriter, Martyn Layzell, who's affiliated with Soul Survivor UK. I first heard this song from the man himself and he shared that he wrote this song while he was here in Malaysia.

This song holds a special meaning for me as it spoke to me in one of the darkest time of my life. It took me years to get out of that darkness. On the night this song was sung, it was as if I could finally see the dawn and found hope that was lost. I remember that it took a while for the tears to wash my soul clean. While most of the lyrics spoke to me in a powerful way, the phrase 'because of Jesus, I am restored' just kept on going in my head and that truth finally broke through into my life. In the following months, many things happened as God truly restored me from the darkness and the all consuming guilt within.

There are days when I look back and wonder what would happen if I that night did not happen, if I was still wallowing in that darkness. Perhaps I would not be alive today. I'm once again struck by the awesomeness of His grace and am truly 'Lost in wonder'.



You chose the cross with every breath
The perfect life
The perfect death
You chose the cross
A crown of thorns you wore for us
And crowned us with eternal life
You chose the cross

And though Your soul was overwhelmed with pain
Obedient to death, You overcame

CHORUS
I'm lost in wonder
I'm lost in love
I'm lost in praise forevermore
Because of Jesus' unfailing love
I am forgiven, I am restored

You loosed the cords of sinfulness
And broke the chains of my disgrace
You chose the cross
Up from the grave victorious
You rose again so glorious
You chose the cross

The sorrow that surrounded You was mine
"Yet not my will but Yours be done" You cried...

CHORUS

And though Your soul was overwhelmed with pain
Obedient to death, You overcame
The sorrow that surrounded You was mine
"Yet not my will but Yours be done" You cried...

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Because of Jesus, I am restored.

To You...

Perhaps this post does not do justice to You. However, someone reminded me recently how little I actually speak about You sometimes. You know how You continually amaze me. Just when I think that things are going to go awry and I cry out to You, You answer so quickly - at just the right time. Thank You for Your mercies and not giving more than I can bear. Strengthen me that I may give strength to those who need it right now. Never for my sake - but so that You may be glorified.

Forgive me for being so stupid as to lean on my own understanding and abilities instead of seeking You. Your grace is indeed sufficient for me.

Rambling

It's not an exaggeration to say that I really need a piano right now... At times like this, I really hate STM rules..

Teaching Church History

*wanted to post this post before the previous post but was waylaid (obviously!). And thought to post this up since I'm currently officially behind someone's post by 5 (will be 4 after this) posts now.

As I've mentioned previously, I've been teaching Early Church History(up to AD300) in my church for the last couple of weeks and the last Sunday was the final class of the lot. As one of my lecturers, Mr Allen says, in teaching one sometimes learn more about the subject than the students. I really agree with him on this as I felt that I've gained a greater perspective on the topic that when I actually sat in class.

It was quite fun to put things together and seeing the connection - especially between the past and today - and getting those who are learning excited about it as well. Anyways, I did tell those taking the class that I hope that they'd continue in their desire to learn. There was a lot of good questions and responses in the final class as we talked about St Anthony the great, the conversion of Constantine, the council of Nicaea, St Augustine and the Schism between the East and West. We also talked about the relation between the state and the church, the formulation of the Nicene creed, the beginnings of monasteries (I'm really glad again for the foundations that my seminary training has given me - though I'll write about it in another post).

Though I'm glad to see the class end (it's definitely time to work on assignments!), it was definitely a nice addition for my usual weekend practical (Thanks to the culprit who suggested me to take the class in the first place - in spite of the potential flak that I got from several people about doing too much). Some of the people of the class was nice enough to want to take myself and my co-teacher out for a nice meal one of these days - which makes the teaching even more rewarding. ;)

Ranting of the-shocked

Just found out a rather surprising news in the last two hours. So you can choose not to read this post as it's probably going to be a little incoherent as I still find myself struggling to get used to it. *sigh. Why is it that when just as I feel that things are settling down, something ALWAYS just comes around to upset the equilibrium?

Things just seem topsy turvy and it would definitely be nice to be able to work it out on the piano right now at 1am in the morning (I remember that I was never very good at verbally expressing my emotions. There were times when I'd just sit at the piano to express what was within until I found my 'balance' again). I guess blogging is the next best thing at the moment (otherwise I'd be waking up ppl and there will be an angry mob in the seminary).

Hmmm... Where to start? For one, I'm pretty mixed up about my friend not telling me the news directly. I had to hear it from another good friend (albeit this friend is not very close with this particular friend) - and I thought the news was another joke or something. Then I found out that I was the last in the group to know - which is not a bad thing if you were the last one to know if the news was a day old (or even a few days old)- but I found out that a few of them has known for WEEKS!

It's just rather upsetting not because I'm a busybody and have to know everything. It's upsetting because this involves a CLOSE FRIEND (if it was the average person, I wouldn't bat an eyelash and not care if I didn't know about the news) that I see and talk to most days. Then again, I found out that my close friend was upset at the same time because my other friends who knew about it was upset about THE NEWS and didn't want the rest of us to know about it. Talk about complications (I told you I was going to sound incoherent!) *SIGH. I'm definitely reeling over the shockingness of it all. Though I'm pretty sure that things might be a little bit more 'balanced' tomorrow morning when I wake up. Or maybe not...

One thing's for sure - things are going to be a little weird over the next few days. *sigh*

The house

Feeling tired at the moment. Am supposed to finish up with my preparations(surprise surprise - I'm actually teaching the ABS class :p) for my FINAL church history class tomorrow (yippee!!) - but find myself somewhat wiped out. Thought to take a break to blog before I plunge back in to lesson preparations - will be talking about St Anthony, Constantine and wrapping up the series on the history of the early church(till AD300). The classes have been a good place for me to interact more with the adults in my church and am happy to see that those who are in the class (it's just too weird to call them 'students') are quite enthusiastic about the class. Was particularly encouraged when one of the adults asked if they could just sit in for that class(and mentioned that they won't be coming back for the following ones) told me later that she would be coming in for the rest of the classes!! Had some discussion time last week about what they've and it's been good to listen to their responses and how they have been challenged through the class - the timing was great as it tied in with the sermon that day during service. During the class on 'persecution', I asked them the question if they think that they'd choose to be Christians if they were living in those days, knowing that they'd face persecution. I appreciated very much their honest answers. I'm blessed to be in the class with this bunch of ppl who have been encouraging to me.


On a different note, I just came back from Borders after having dinner with my sis. It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to lounge around in a bookshop so it was a bit of a treat. Sorta reminded me of the times when I went with Nicole and Lee in Cairo looking for a good English bookshop. We loved visiting the one at the American University of Cairo or Diwani's. I bought a couple of interesting novels that were locally written (translated into English). Those who know me would know how much I love a good story. In Cairo, I was particularly enthralled by the ones written by the famous Naguib Mahfouz(Egyptian author). A pity that I can't find stories written by him here in Malaysia.


Anyways this evening, I read most of the book called 'The House' by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. I must say that the way Frank Peretti writes his stories are absolutely captivating. I don't want to reveal all but I must say that I love the way he and Dekker wrote the story and parallelising 'the house' with the condition of the human heart. It was a gripping story which food for thought - just the kind of books that I love. Definitely must find more time to camp out in bookshops in the future. *happy sigh*

Memories..

Masa el-khair (Arabic for 'good evening').

I still find myself missing my friends in Cairo. I miss speaking the language (I think my Arabic's not that rusty yet. In Hebrew class, I sometimes find myself knowing the Arabic for the particular word rather than Hebrew :p). I was just catching up with some of my friends there and I am still amazed how much I still miss them (am gratified it's a mutual thing as they tell me it's a mutual thing). It's been half a year and I wish very much that I was there at times to share their joy and their pain.

I'm so glad for my teacher who's graduated from her university recently. I told her I wish that I could celebrate her success with her - I know that the time leading to her exams was quite tough for her.

I miss my family there and I wish at times that I was still journeying alongside with them. I found out that one of my brothers there recently got attached to someone who has the same passion as him for a particular group of people. I'm just so ecstatic for him! I miss my 'moseba and mugrim' brother who's always so encouraging and so bubbly(and who loves to say 'yasalem!' [a very Egyptian expression] all the time). I think of my sister and brother(and the funny faces he used to make at me) who's back home now and remember the outings that we had together.

I'm glad for my churchmates there who write and keep me posted about how they are doing. I look forward to catching up with one of my happening friends who's traveling this summer and will only be back in October. I miss my 'zarif'(funny) pastor friend and am bewail the fact that I can't talk much with him online cos of the level of English.

To all my Cairo friends and my family- you are never very far away from my thoughts and prayers. Miss you guys very much...

Quote

"We are all pencils in the hand of God" - Mother Teresa

Voice of Truth

By Casting Crowns
Oh,what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown to where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."

CHORUS:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

CHORUS

To be free again...

You know, there has been days when I never thought I'd feel this way again. This genuine sense of lightness within. This sense of deep joy - that have seemed to be lost for a while now, that it seems a bit alien and that I can hardly believe that it is real. I just feel like weeping. The pessimistic voice within says that it won't last for too long. But for now, for this moment, I feel liberated. The darkness that has been my companion deep within in the last few months seem to have disappeared.

The chains that have bound a part of me seems to be broken. Yet, a part of me feels afraid. Afraid that the chains will be back and afraid of what this liberation might mean - the implications that it will bring. After all, the darkness have become familiar - a place to hide my fears behind.

Yet, I hear His gentle voice calling to me. It is time to come out to the light again. To embrace again all that He has prepared for me. To put my fears behind and to revel in the day. To let go of the pain and to grasp onto the hand that He stretches out to me. To believe again. To love and to hold on to what is different within because He has made it so because to let it go or to destroy it would mean a greater loss.