Special Day

Today's a special day for me- it's my birthday. I bought a a CD "Planet Shaker's -All that I want"(which really rocks!) and a new book(Jesus, The One and Only by Beth Moore) to celebrate it.
Last night I watched Passion's One Day and was very inspired once again to live for Him.
And that's what this day for me is about - another year of living for Him, of worshipping Him and learning to make choices and to do things His way. Yay!
Of course I like the little gifts that people gave me like a necklace from my sis, an e-card from Liz and a lovely red rose from Sue that added that extra special touch to my day.
At twelve last nite my sis and mum was the first to wish me happy birthday before I went to sleep. This morning, I had a card for liz and talked to my big bro for a bit. Sean also wished me happy birthday in his own special way.. hehhehe
Liz said she'll call tonight-wow! It's been a while since I last spoke to her so I'm looking forward to it. Am also planning to watch more of Monk!!! Super!

Dear God,
Thank you for making me me. =) Thank you for another year to live for you and to worship you. Thank you especially for all the special people in my life. The many who have encouraged me (my mum, my sis, my bro, Sean, Uncle Lawrence, Johann, Liz, Aunty Nancy, Aunty Chan Boey, Uncle Sam, Uncle Daniel, Poh Lyn, Rachel Tan, Audrey and Ting, Chew Sue Ann, Keng Swee, the worship ministry team, Hoong Ern, Chris, Ewe Jin, Eiran, Marcus, Charlene and countless others) and drew me nearer to You. Thank You for the lessons learnt in the past year. I really look forward to another year of walking with You by my side. All glory and praise be unto You.

Your another-year-older child, Ruth.

Down at the cross

It's a special day today and somehow he reminded me of this beautiful song.

From Jeremiah 9: 23 - 24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD , who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD .

Down at the Cross
The Kry

What can I boast about
When the life that I live has been given me
What can I be proud of
But of Jesus who died to set me free
Set me free

Chorus
Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Let not the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
For all men are equal down at the cross

Jesus still reaches out
No matter how far or how weak we are
His love has no bounds
And He reaches the ones down on their knees
On their knees

Bridge
Down at the cross come and leave your pride
Lay everything at His feet
For all of us He was willing to die
Even when we were weak
When we were still without strength
When we were set in our ways
When we were filled with hatred for Him
Still He was willing to die for you and I
Down at the cross

Reflection

My past week has been hectically busy. Full of spiritual insights and at the same time full of activities. I would never wish my week on anyone else though. They just tend to be rather crazy.
I even missed a call from my best cousin *sob sob*.
Anyway - just thought to write on highlights of the week:

• Managed to get most of the "Monk" series from Eiran. Made me a happy gal. I sooo love the show..
• Put up my map of the world in my cosy corner of my office so I can pray for the world (Hmmm.. I should post up a picture now that I've got my shelf to put my worship resources too. It's a joke that I've got a LOT of stuff that I need a LOT of space. sheesh-not like it's a choice - it's more of other ppl's junk that I have to sort out and store. =P)
• Christmas choir practice is went quite well last night
• Heaps of happening stuff is happening during Christmas
• A ministry problem came up on Friday evening that got me highly stressed. Thank God for His wisdom and guidance.
• On Saturday, we had a record practice time with Adrian Ang - 40minutes! Praise God!
• On Sunday, we managed to finish service on time -10.30am: A record time since we moved to our new building. Praise God! Must pray that it happens this week too. Have been working rather hard to ensure that we finish on time every week.
• On Monday had a rare great time out with my mum - and she totally agreed with me that it was great too. We went to buy a DVD player. Now I can watch Passion and One Day at home.
• One of my insight again and again is that His grace is sufficient for me EVERY SINGLE DAY. How absolutely wonderful.

Tomorrow's a special day for me. Thought I should briefly reflect on the past year. God has just been so great to me. Am settling really well into my 'job'. Though it's not been smooth sailing all the time, I do love it heaps. He's just been teaching me a lot of stuff too - and really challenging me to depend on Him each day. Wonder what He'll have in store for me in the next year??

Feelings and Knowing

The past week was just rather - well, don't quite know the word to describe it. Sort of in a limbo - felt less passionate about things rather than usual... Except during Bible Study with my small group last Friday. Probably because that was the lesson that He was teaching me- and at the same time I was teaching my piano student. Besides teaching the technical aspects of playing the piano, I've been convicted to impart the spiritual side too. I find that musicians nowadays are too focused on the technical that the spiritual side of it is totally 'ignorable'.
Anyhows, was just teaching her on feelings and knowing in worship. That worship is more than feelings in the worship. It's about heart and head knowledge of God. That's how we should worship Him.

Last Friday, Bible study was great because I could sense the Holy Spirit's presence guiding the discussion - despite having it in the midst Swensen's ice creams. We were really challenged to read our Bible and really hungry to read the Word.

Dear God,
Thank you for all your working. Please continue to grow our faith in You and to develope a love for Your Word which is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

My cosy corner..

Have been busy these past few days - what with meetings galore and hanging out with family as well as the new adorable puppies. Yesterday, I've just moved back to the office and I have been trying to make my corner as cosy as possible - the typical girl thing to do. Been having fun with that.
Am looking forward to Kenny lending his camera. Am going to take photos of the puppies and post them up tomorrow.

Okies. Need to get back to work.



Dear God,
Thanks for your timely reminder that I should "boast only in the Cross" from your servant - John Piper. Let it sink in my heart, soul and mind the glorious thing that Your Son has done for me on the cross

Blown Away..

Wow! God answered another prayer... My friend's dad who has lung cancer accepted the Lord last night!! I'm just so blown away!!! Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!
When I received the news, my mind was just blown away.. and I almost cried.. Am so happy and glad for my friend... He said the sinners prayer with his dad TWICE just to make sure he got it right..
The angels must really be rejoicing in heaven too!!!
Never expected for the God to answer this so quickly... We were all praying for him at prayer meeting last night too.. Thank You God so much... I'm SO AMAZED by YOU!!!

What to say..

Wonder if other people come to a point/day in their life where there's just nothing much to blog about. Well... I've reached that point for today..
Well, the verse below just came to mind and it sorts of describes me at the moment.



So I'm just.... quiet.... *contented sigh*

Today

Today's turning out to be a rather eventful day. I've just found out that one of my friend's father is dying (Doctors have given him a few weeks to live). His father has cancer and he's praying for his father's healing and salvation. Me being me, I'm at this point of being cautious whether God will heal his dad (Yes- I'm having little faith). I'm just worried that he will be dissapointed in God. *sigh* I know how that feels. And yet, another part of me says - "O ye of little faith. God can do so much more than you can ever imagine. " I hope so in this case.
Also, am feeling discouraged about where the ministries in church are going. I guess I lost perspective for a while that God's in charge of the ministries and that He'll take care of the ministries.

Dear God,
I know sometimes I run ahead of myself and it's times like this that my faith is small. Enlarge my faith in You. I pray that You will heal my friend's dad. Most importantly, I pray for his dad's salvation. I know that his dad is in a lot of pain and that his dad's thoughts are just not coherent. But God, I do KNOW that You are bigger than all that and that you work in special ways-YOUR WAYS. Help me believe.
I pray too for my friend and his family. Please minister and comfort them in this time. Support him a lot as he's still a young child in You.

Oreos' Home! and other nice surprises

Oreos' Home!! and my joy is complete. =) Hehehhe
He came home last Sunday out of the blue. Mum has a theory that someone must have kidnapped him to mate with their dog and then let him go. He looked "none the worse for wear" albeit a bit thin. But he seemed like the same old Oreos.
Quite a number of stuff happened last week too.. Let me recap.
Wednesday morning - Rachel Tan sent email to say that she's engaged.
Wednesday afternoon - Patches gave birth to 6 puppies. 2 died and 4 survived. They are such cute tubby little things. *grin*
Thursday evening- My bro informed us he passed his resit exams. Praise God!!!!
Friday - moved to my temporary office. Have a room all to myself. *happy sigh* Just love the privacy to pray and not be distracted.
Saturday evening - Bought my much awaited for Study Bible. Am so in love with it. *happy sigh*
Had a lovely weekend: Saturday was rather stressful but Sunday and Monday was nice. Managed for the first time in 4 months to catch up on my sleep. *happy sigh*

Dear God,
Thank you once again for everything. Thanks for answering my prayers and bringing Oreos home.

Tired and sick

Am feeling slightly under the weather this week and it's rather depressing. I walk a round with this constant ache in my back and am in a slightly woozy condition-feeling a small headache coming along too(makes me wanna pop some Panadol-am restraining myself). *sigh*
I had to be in bed almost the whole day yesterday and it's not quite how I envisioned to spend my off day. Looking on the bright side - at least I got some rest. But I am miserable cos I am in pain - and I hate being in pain. I suppose that I could always take the Panadol..... *restrain* *sigh*
Have choir practice tonight and I sooooo don't feel like going. *sigh* I must.. Just want to have a snooze.
Sheeesh.. Just want to feel normal again.

Oreos is still missing and other stuff

*sigh* It's the third day he's missing and he shows no sign of coming back. I have a really bad feeling that he was dognapped. =(
Anyways.. Just a few thoughts

• My cousin have just created a new blog!!!
• Eiran started working in church today too and spent quite a number time talking to him about youth in our church. He's going to be helping out in JY.
• Was reminded last night how blessed I am to have Uncle Lawrence as my boss. Can't really explain this but he's really protective of those of us who are in the worship team. Never really realised this until I spoke to him yesterday. He really cares for us.
• Am going to have an awesome time with my cell group - Zebulun tonight. Having dinner, Bible study, games and prayer for one another. Am looking forward to that!!!
• Current reading: "The heart of the artist". Really awesome book for people who serve on the stage.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for all the great stuff that you've done in my life. Thank You for people in my life like Uncle Lawrence and the yummy suckling pig stuff that he gave last night. Really made my dinner better. *BIG GRIN*
Want to pray that You're taking care of Oreos-whereever he may be.
Want to pray for the Youth Ministry. Challenge them once again God. They need so much help.

My Oreos... where are you?

My dog Oreos has gone missing. Wonder where he went and if he found his way home. I must confess that I don't spend a lot of time with him - but I miss him when he's gone. He has this *look* that gets people talking to him. Still remember the day I brought him home with his two brothers. *sigh*

Dear God,
Please bring him home and keep him safe. Don't usually take him out cos he doesn't really like to go out without Patches. I think he's lost. Please let him be at home when I get back.

Worship

Was assisting Uncle Lawrence in worship leading on Sunday. All I can say right now is - praise God for all He's done in the worship. Many people came and said that the worship was good. I'd like to think that many were ushered into His presence - not because of anything I've done.
I must admit that I came to the point where I told the Lord: "I'm just your weak child: Not feeling perfect or confident now. But I leave it all to You". I came to a point where it reallly didn't matter what others were thinking. To be honest, I wasn't even listening to the musicians to hear if they were making a mistake(ok- I admit- I usually do that). I just chose to worship Him - fully concious of my weaknesses and humbled by Him and His love for me.
As always, worship leading is always difficult for me. Am always concious of the responsibility to be holy. My family especially will be the first to say - "Ruth - holy??. Yeah righhhtt."
And somehow, something always happens beforehand. Really learnt the meaning of dying to self and seriously, it's quite a painful experience. Then again I did say that prayer last week in my blog, didn't I? =P

Dear God,
Thank You for Your spirit's work in my life. The refining fire is really painful and humbling in the past week. I pray that You will continue to refine me anyways so that I may be used greater for Your glory. Grant me wisdom in my relationships with my family and those closest to me - to rebuke in love where there is a need and to show heaps of grace too which I know I can be sorely lacking of.

Once Again

Every now and then I get sorta this wake up call - a heightened awareness of my calling and who I am in Christ - and it usually lingers for quite a while. Last night was one of those times. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I attended DA Carson's talk last night.
He gave a sobering message. (Will blog it tomorrow as I forgot to bring my notebook)

A few things that sticks in my head:
1. A Christian's life is a transformed life. The word of God is living and active. It changes life. If I confess to be a christian, my life should never be the same again. If our life remains unchange, then we are not Christians - because if Christ lives in us transformation should and would happen.
2. We MUST reevaluate what we are doing and treasuring now. Is it going to count in 2 billion years time? If not, we're investing our time and ourselves wrongly.
3. Am I willing to die for my Lord Jesus Christ- be it to self or physically? How much do I treasure my life? And though the choice is hard to make: "Yes Lord, I'm willing."
Why? - He is my Creator. I owe Him everything. Matthew 10:28 "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
4. The undiluted/uncut wrath of God is absolutely horrific. Therefore I should love righteousnes and NOT despise it.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your Word again last night. I pray that You will transform me. May I never be the person I was. Change me - no matter how hard the process - and I know that it will be hard and painful. Help me as I decide each day to die to myself. It's not easy and the evil one will not be pleased. But I know that Your grace will be sufficient for me each time I fall. Thank You for dying for me. I am Blessed.

Amazed

Current listening: 'Amazed' and 'Rescue' by desperation band

I just feel like weeping.
I want to weep for the worship ministry. Just have this burden that God will be sovereign over each and every one in the ministry.
I want to weep for my family. I pray that there will be breakthroughs.
I want to weep in wonder and joy of the things He has placed in my heart. Both the songs just really speaks to me at the moment

From Amazed
"Lord I’m amazed by You!
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me"

From Rescued
You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me


Dear God,
Thank You for the beautiful and wonderful teaching that You have spoken through DA Carson. Lord, my soul hungers and yearns for You.
This world indeed has nothing for me compare to You. I'm so amazed by You and Your love for me. It surrounds me.
As I see Your beauty, I repent of my sins.
I pray that You will come and dwell in the hearts of the people in my church and be sovereign. Work in us. May Your glory fall in our church and Your revival sweep through this place once again. Mould us and refine us - no matter how painful it will be.
Change us so that the world may see that You ARE the Ever Living God. May many come to know You for who You are.
My soul blesses Your name.

Ruth

Revelations 13 by DA Carson

REVELATIONS 13 – (Tuesday 21/9/04)
This message was really deep and at the same time sobering and full of warnings (especially of the second beast)

This passage is about the dragon giving authority to the beast of the sea.
The second beast is from the earth and serves the first beast.
The sea in ancient times symbolizes evil – confusion and chaos.
The dragon, the beast of the sea and beast of the earth is like an evil Trinity to take the place of God.

The first beast – beast of the sea
Vs 1: “The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion”: All the animals refers to previous kingdoms that is evil. This beast is a combination of all.
Vs 3: “One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed”. – this means that the beast dies again and again but comes out again and again in Anti-Christ. Each time one dies, another one will rise.
Vs 3b: “The whole world was astonished and followed the beast” – because the evil is so great as the authority is given by the dragon, people will give up and say in resignation “there will always be evil”.

The second beast – beast of the earth
Vs 11: “He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon” – this beast is full of deception. The “two horns like a lamb” means that it looks harmless but his words were of the dragon. In ancient Israel, the earth was something stable and therefore safe.

Vs 12: “He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed”. The second beast clearly serves the first beast.

Vs 13 – 15 ‘And he performed great and miraculous signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth in full view of men. Because of the signs he was given power to do on behalf of the first beast, he deceived the inhabitants of the earth. He ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. He was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that it could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed.” This beast has great power and is a great deceiver.

This second beast = false prophets and their teachings. We have to remember it is so subtle and it is a great deceiver!

Carson told the story of how he was preaching and naming the rebirthing technique as a deception.
Rebirthing technique is adopted by psychologists and some Christian counselors to help people who have been abused/sodomised when they were young. They were to close their eyes and picture themselves as babies. And they had to picture themselves coming out of their mother’s womb and that Jesus received them when they came out and wiped the ‘muck’ out. And Jesus would cuddle and love them. Many of them would realize that Jesus was there from their birth and would cry and receive healing.
A missionary couple invited Carson for dinner and refuted the statement as they were healed through the rebirthing technique. Carson asked them two questions.
1. “If someone were to explain to the missionary the passage in Ephesians about how wide and deep the love of Christ, could the missionary be healed too?” To which the missionary replied after thinking deeply, “Yes, but it doesn’t refute the rebirthing technique.”
2. Carson’s second question was “If someone went through the same abuse, would you tell them about the imaginary Jesus of the rebirthing technique OR about the true Jesus of the bible?”. That was the subtlety of the second beast. You may go about 5 degrees off from the truth.. But as you tell more and more about it, your 5 degrees will leave you a VERY big gap from the path of truth.


Vs 16-18: “He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.” There are many interpretation of the mark of the beast. Carson admits that he does not know who is the beast but also suggests that perhaps we are better off not knowing. The point of this part is this : we will receive either the mark of the beast or the mark of the lamb and will face the wrath of the other! Remember that if we receive the mark of the beast- we will face the wrath of the Lamb.

AM therefore very excited to find out tonight more about the seal of the Lamb.

Revelations 12 - by DA CARSON

REVELATIONS 12 - (Monday 20/9/04)
This passage is about the woman and the red dragon.
The woman refers to the church and God’s chose people.
The red dragon is Satan.
Carson explained too that the ‘1260’ days = ‘a time, times and half a times’ = ‘3 and a half years’ and is a period of great suffering.

Summary: Satan is a defeated foe. He’s really angry and is coming after the church and wants to drag people down to the abyss with him.

How can we overcome Satan:
1. The blood of the lamb: We must remember that Satan cannot be fought by our own strength. ONLY by the blood of the lamb we are justified and there is victory.
2. Testimonies of the saints: We must always testify about His love then many will come to know of God and His goodness.
3. We must be willing to die: We must be willing to give up our very lives for Him. Each year, 160,000 Christians are martyred for Christ for the past year. Of course, not ALL are called to die for the cause. But ALL are called to die to self – our desires and areas where we are higher than Christ.

Cool analogies:
1. Revelations is a book of imagery because we have never experienced the Great Throne Room of God. It’s like us trying to explain electricity to some remote jungle trible in Papua New Guinea and it goes like this “Electricity is like a supernatural spirit that goes through the vines. You attach those vines in your house and hang it from your roof. You will be able to get a small sun shining at night”. Just as the ppl of Papua New Guinea are limited in their knowledge in electricity, we too are limited of our knowledge of the throne room of God because we have never seen it.
2. When Carson’s son was 3, Carson asked him, “where did you get your beautiful blue eyes from?”. The son answered promptly “From God”. As the son is now older, the son would probably answer “Genetics in the family.” Both statements are truth. But which is the fundamental truth? We can always say that things happens because of this and that – and they are true. But we forget the fundamental truth – God is behind it all and that He’s always there.

DA Carson

Have been attending D A Carson talks the past two nights. He has been teaching on Revelations and it’s been truly amazing. He talked about Revelations 12 and 13. As he explained the passage, it was like ‘scales fell from my eyes’ and I could see the passage for what it was. There was a hunger from deep within to read and study the living truth – the word of God. Made me realize that I know little of the treasures in the Bible.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Wow! Am amazed that my prayer was answered. Had an awesome time over the past weekend. Enjoyed staying in the dorms with the girls... They called me sleepy bear. Hehehe. Guess that's because I was in bed whenever I could- not that it was very often either. We had an awesome time together as leaders. Am encouraged to see how God is moving in our midst and how He's changing us.



Things that I felt that God was impressing on our hearts:
1. Are our personal walk with God right? If not, do something about it.
2. We need not to be fully equipt to serve Him. Just do it out of a heart of love for Him

We were also challenged to find a mentor. Am excited to learn more in the "mentoring" ABS classes.
I also found peace for certain issues I was praying for there. Praise God for that. All in all, the fellowship was a beautiful one - one that I've not felt in a while(the last time was probably in an OCF setting 3 years back).

Last night, after a restful day (apart from doing chores and cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children and a beautiful nap) , went to Audrey's and Ting's place for dinner. They are seriously a couple with "beautiful" souls. Went with Irwin and we were challenged to relook at our roles as assistants. At the same time, we were praying over our members and to reevaluate of what were our lacking.

I've missed out a lot of other details like Adrian Ang, Sue Ann and Ting washing our feet as a sign that they were a servant-leader to us; Adrian Ng led holy communion and we had to dip our bread into Ribena (mushy ribena bread doesn't taste all that nice *grimace*); FGA college group were in the room next to ours and we joined their worship in the evening; Adrian Ang got the FGA leader to pray with us and we in turn for them; Jorja and Vanessa was sleeping above Poh Lyn and I (and they were giggling and asking us dodgy questions while we trying to sleep); the guys played Risk - Ting won; the guys couldn't sleep all that well cos gramps, ting and ang were snoring with the occasional laugh from Tatt Seng; had fun watching the whole group playing captain ball; had a wonderful time practicing worship with Jason and Irwin; a beautifully written personal letter of encouragement from Ting and Ang written to EACH individual- I really loved mine!

All in all - it was a wonderful weekend. *contented sigh*

Dear God,
Thank You.

I am...

I am - Tired & sleepy, surprised, wishful, excited, hopeful, stressed, dissapointed and above all; grateful.

Tired and sleepy: Lack of sleep must be catching up on me. Had many meetings for the past few weeks. And precious late night talks with my sis.
Surprised: That time has passed by soo fast. It's been THREE weeks since I last blogged. So many things have been happened since. Many Good things. And some not so good.
Wishful: That I had more time to sit by His feet and rest in Him
Excited: Going for Cross Gen(youth group) Leaders retreat tomorrow
Hopeful: That I'll be able to sit by His feet and rest there. And that He will minister to ALL of us.
Stressed: At the amount of work I have to do before then - and it is a lot.
Dissapointed: That I'm not moving as fast or accomplished as much as I've hoped to.
Grateful: To Him who sees me through each and everyday. No matter how stressed I get or how dissapointed I am with myself, He loves and sees me through. He molds me and guides me each day. His presence is felt. Thank You Jesus - the Great I AM.