Much needed holiday

Will be leaving for some much needed rest in an hour's time. Thought to sneak in some thoughts beforehand.
Am really looking forward to my holiday. Though I think that I could possibly go on doing what I've been doing for the past couple of months for another month, I'm glad that I can finally take a break. I know some people think that I can never sit still and that I'll probably be fidgeting after the 2nd day, but I've been wanting to have some solitude time for the past half year. So I am really really really looking forward to it.
Am planning to sleep, rest(and hopefully completely recover from my cough - yes, it's still there and am beginning to alarm me cos it doesn't seem to go away) , make some new year's resolutions, reflect, contemplate, read some books that has been sitting on the shelf - beckoning me but always ignored because other things have to come first and spend quality time with God (not just the short prayers I take in between work-though that's great as well).

Dear Jesus,
I pray for journey mercies and a great time with dad and the missions people that will be up there in Camerons. See you up there too.. Am looking forward to know what's on your heart for me this year.

Thorn in my side

I find I blog more during my more melancholic moods. I'm having one now. I have this "thorn in my side" that is a constant source of irritation - makes me upset, angry, grumpy, frustrated and just feel like ending up in tears. It could be spiritual warfare too.
Well, as I write this, I've decided to go back to the bible and to recollect what Paul said about the thorn in his side.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. "

Hmm... Not sure how many times I've prayed for the thorn in my flesh to be taken away. But I know for sure that it was indeed "a messenger of Satan". Even as I want to seek the Lord over so many things and just heaps of important planning meetings for Cross Gen and Worship Ministry is currently underway, the thorn in my side just tends to hurt and irritate during times where important decisions have to be prayed about. I just tend to react rather badly and snap too - shows me that I'm weak and not as strong as I'd like to think I am.
The following verses(the part about Christ power resting in me) just really comforted me. Thank You once again.

Dear God,
You know I have this thorn in my side. It's been hurting and affecting me for a while now - and every so often it just brings out the worst in me. Please take it away. If not, help me to take delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Tsunami disaster

Everyday this week, I look at the papers and am just overwhelmed by the news of the effects of the tsunami that happened on Sunday.
I read and hear of tragedies that happen, whole families perishing, parents losing children, children losing parents, masses of people still missing, masses of people dead - and my heart is just so burdened for them. Tears flows.

Random comments

• The production's finally over. But a part of me do miss the hustle and bustle. Will probably have a whole lot more of that next year.
• Have more or less caught up on sleep - though I am still looking to taking a break and visiting my dad(am just looking forward to the cool weather , the time of solitude, and the R&R that I'm planning to have at Camerons- sleeping, reading and having tea, fishing, and taking some photographs have plenty of appeal at the moment) .
• John's sister Lea's staying over next week.
• Was sad everytime I looked at the newspaper and heard of how many lives were taken by the tsunami-Malaysia was affected for the first time. ABout 52 lives in Malaysia to date have perished. According to news, 23,000 lives have been taken so far. I wonder how many souls were lost. It's just really heart-wrenching to hear how lives have been lost
• Contemplating what to say for my testimony for watch night service - philip's encouraged me to share something about the christmas production. He said that if he shared about it, he will probably take 2 hours -which is so true- never met a guy that loves to talk that much. *grin*. Definition of watch night service: Our church usually have a service on the night before New Year's day. We usually get people to share their testimony, have a bit of worship and some presentations.
• Contemplating about a certain group of people - the really hurtful kind of people. Not going to say more but that I'm just contemplating and that being friends with them can be really difficult especially as their feelings seem to be more important to them than others.
• Contemplating about my walk with my Jesus-it's not at an ideal state at the moment - probably cos myself and my rest came first. =P Help me to decrease and may Jesus increase in me.
• Contemplating a certain conversation that I had with a certain relative of mine. Don't think that the person's right - at least not for now. Will have to mull over it more - perhaps when I go for my time of solitude in Camerons.
• Contemplating my new year's resolution and having a check if I did stick to this year's resolutions. I probably did for some - and slacked off for others. Oh well, I'll just have to keep trying then.

Christmas production Announcement

Had this idea from my cousin's blog.
PJEFC - THE CHRISTMAS STORY MUSICAL
Date: 25th December 2004
Time: 10.30am-12.30pm
Venue: PJEFC Heritage Centre - 3, Jln Seksyen 13/6

Christmas Eve

I thought I should blog something today as it's Christmas eve. I generally love this time of the year, but probably due to the hustle and bustle, it just seems really different this year.
My family, as usual is still contemplating if we're having our usual annual dinner tonight(yes even though it's almost lunchtime now, they haven't decided!). Mum's already bought 2 turkey and 2 roles of lamb to roast - but the problem is, the car's been broke down again last night and we have not been able to buy and prepare the other stuff.. So she's still deciding if we should just go ahead with the dinner. Whatever it is, I'm really looking forward to the lamb. Don't eat much lamb since I got back and this is one of the few times of the year that my family does...

Also thought that I should blog that our PJEFC choir(myself included) was on TV3 this morning. We were invited to go and sing some songs from our Christmas musical. Thank God it went pretty well. That's probably all I'm going to say about it since I wasn't keen on going for it in the first place-my mum was more excited about it than me in the first place. I almost didn't go cos the van breakdown but I had all the choir robes with me - sheesh - which meant that I had to go anyway. Oh well - it was a rather interesting experience. Will have to check out the tapes that my family taped.

Generally, even though this Christmas have been busy; it's been good in some ways. Despite being on telly, it's been a whole lot less commercialised for me - it has really been less about Santa and the Christmas tree and a whole lot more a Jesus - so that has been really special to me. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, because of my business and the many times I've almost given up, it's been great because I got to know my God a whole lot more. His grace and the hope that He gives through Christ has been very real to me. Thank you Jesus for coming down to save me. Happy Birthday Jesus! =)

Good memories

John's left for Australia yesterday night. It was just great to hang out with him for a few short days. I keep on telling him that I only see ex-OCFers when I see him. Which is so true. Saw Mun Wah, Helene, Calvin, Jeremy, Adeline and Tracy all in the past 3 days.

Having him around was sort of walking down memory lane and at the same time finding out how everyone's just changed. Heard that so many people have gotten married and are now having kids. Heard that Andrew Chen just had a kid. Just feels weird sometimes to hear those kind of news - hearing that people have moved on - then again maybe not that weird after all

John with Gary

Johny boy



John, Helene and Calvin



John and I

Christmas pictures

I've not much time to blog today but they say a picture is worth a thousand words.
When I look at these - I can say that the past two weeks is worth it. Praise God!



Everyone in the Christmas 2004 production

The Choir Members

The Children's choir

My stage management crew

Edmond Lee, Sean and Grace - choir members backstage

Backstage with choir members

Returnees

One week has gone past and so much has happened. Hoong Ern came back from the UK-which was a really good thing - as he helped out for the Christmas Musical.
It was definitely the busiest week I've had since I've started working in church full time half a year ago(Wow! Time just flew by so quickly). I've learnt a lot about myself as well as other people that I've been working the musical with. My faith has also increased. IT was definitely a very trying time. Many times I was reminded that patience is like a container. The bigger your container the more patience you have. I've lost count of how many times I've prayed for God to make bigger my container - sometimes it was successful and others not so successful. But as I've said in my previous blog, despite who and what I am, I can testify that God is great and He is indeed faithful.
He's answered prayers. I've even sent out a SOS signal to Him in my prayers during the past week- everything in the musical was just going badly: the lights were not ready, the conductor sprained both his arms (from the enthusiastic flinging of his arms during conducting) and was in a lot of pain, one of the cast had food poisoning, some of the musicians were getting flu, the actors were not quite ready, our lead singer was also sick, I was sick and tired and stressed, tempers flared, some had really long and bad days at work, etc..
But in the end, everything just ran smoothly on the first show last Saturday(our second is on Christmas day). Though no one stepped out for prayer, about 8 hands were raised when asked who wanted to accept Christ into their life.
The week kept getting better and better. Had a call from John Foo - my ex-neighbor, cell group member and good friend from Australia - on Thursday to say that he's here and that he'd arrived in Malaysia and brought heaps of goodies. He brought heaps of stuff- Haighs chocolates(these are generally super expensive), really expensive cherries(about AUD 25/kilo - he brought 2 kilos), oreos, tim tams, Salmon, fruit and nuts, mango jam and a few other stuff that I've forgotten to mentioned! Was really overwhelmed by his generosity(in case those reading this are beginning to get the wrong idea, he did these for several other people too).
Though I was really overwhelmed by his generosity, I enjoyed his company more. We just hanged out at KLCC and did some major catching up. I joked with him that the only time that I see ex-OCFers is when I see him(I saw Calvin last night and Adeline in the morning). I had fun talking with him about his work(which he is really greatful to have and is doing quite well in it) and just generally talking about guys and Aussie stuff. We walked around KLCC and John said that we had to walk around the food stores and buy 1 thing from each store - didn't work quite well as we were quite full by the 3rd/4th stall even though we just bought buns and kuih.
It was just generally really good to hang out with an old friend. Speaking of old friend, Myra's back too. She graduated and her convocation's in April. She's still praying if she should work here or return to Australia. Am trying to persuade her to go for a holiday with me in January when I try to get my much needed break.
Received an email from Janice too saying that she's graduated and that she was going for a month's vacation. It's just been really wonderful to hear from everyone at this time of the year. As I said God is just so faithful.
For today and tomorrow, I just planned to take things easy and rest in Him before the everything starts building up on Thursday for Christmas day. I continually look forward to the challenges He gives me each day because I know that He will never give me more than what I can bear.

My God and I

The past week was more crazy than expected.
Turns out the cough that I was having is bronchitis - I found this out when I went to see the doctor. The medicine that he gave helped me to feel better - though the cough is still lingering, it's not as severe as before(I had difficulty breathing and my chest felt tight) - but I was 'half zonked out' due to the side effects.
So I ended up running around like a headless chicken doing all the needed stuff for the Christmas production and at the same time my hands were tremoring and my head was feeling very bleary due to the medication. It's not a great combination.
On top of that, every week night last week, I only got home at 12am and left the house at 8.30am. Saturday and Sunday was worse as I had to get up earlier. By Sunday evening, there were these horrible black bags under my eye and I was just so exhausted and weary. Thank God for yesterday(Monday) so I could rest and recuperate and regain my sanity at the same time. I've lost count of how many times I've almost lost my temper in the past week. My nerves felt really stretched. Thank God for granting me patience.
My mind has just been so preoccupied with the Christmas production that's on this Saturday(18th Dec) and next Sat (25th Dec). I even forgot that I was suppose to lead devotions this morning until 7.30am this morning (Devotions is at 9am). But it turned out ok. Really felt God speaking to me as it was so relevant to my experience in the past week.
My big brother encouraged me to "upgrade my outlook" this morning. His mum also sent an Aussie calendar which I absolutely love. And thus, I've decided to take some time to be still and knowing indeed He is God. That He is faithful and that He's upholding me. A time to put things into perspective. To take it easy this morning before I go back to the fray. A time to remind myself why I'm doing all this - It's all for Him.
I remember little encouragements throughout last week that kept me going. Uncle Lawrence mentioned that a tea's flavour is brought out when the water is at it's hotest and likened me to that (not a flattering comparison - come to think of it *grin*).
I too remember that He whispered to me on Saturday while I was on the piano during the worship practice that He's watching over me and carrying me - feeling as worn out and exhausted as I was. I was so comforted that I almost cried. Even though, to be honest, I am not looking forward to this week and all it entails, I can lift up my head and push forward because He's telling me "We're in this together."

Thank You Jesus.

Strength for today

Dear God,
I once again come to you as a weak vessel. I pray for strength for today as there is so much to accomplish in these two weeks before the Christmas programme. Please help everything to fall into place. Grant me patience with those who are supposed to be doing their jobs but aren't - especially when I have to end up doing it on top of all I've got to do.
I pray for people to come and help. And even if there isn't any, remind me that you're around. There's been so many times that I've been afraid that I wouldn't be able to finish the tasks you've given me and yet, "Your Grace is Sufficient for me" and You've seen me through. Thank You for being always there beside me. Thank You.

work, work, work

My infernal cough won't go away. It continually plagues me. I've a bad feeling that it's turned athsmatic already. Hopefully it won't be too long before it heals completely.
Today's been absolutely crazy. Am busy trying to clear up all my worship stuff before I go for EFCM camp as a facilitator for the next few days. I'm tired already and have not even have had a chance to go through the materials (except the question on tattooing which ended up as a debate over emails!).
Have been busy with coordinating Christmas choir. Philip (our Christmas conductor) has been calling me very frequently (more like morning, afternoon and night *sigh*) with barrages of instructions. On top of that, I've to finish up my worship list and clear up any outstanding matters before I go.
Found out too that one of my follow uppee's getting married! How exciting!
Also remembered that John's probably coming down to Malaysia cos of Audrey's wedding this month! Will hopefully be able to meet up with him.
PLANET SHAKER'S CONCERT IS ON TONIGHT at PYRAMID CONVENTION CENTRE!!!!
WHOOPEEEE!!!

Worship Leading, flu, handwritten cards and life satisfaction..

Worship lead for the first time last weekend in the main sanctuary and praise God it went pretty well- not exactly the best but definitely was one of the better ones. Must be due to all the prayer and petitioning. Again - all glory to Him. I was really nervous and my team and family knew how nervous I was. Just before I started, I whispered a little prayer "Ok Jesus, I know you're partnering with me in this. I surrender all my fears to You. I'll just worship You". A calm just entered my heart. It was just amazing. For those who know me, they can usually tell when I'm nervous on stage - they remarked that I was just very calm and confident. Thank You Jesus for reminding me that in all that I do that we're partners and doing it together.
The weather have been absolutely crazy the past week - hot and cold alternately. It definitely took its toll on me and I was sick in bed with flu the whole of Monday and Tuesday. Thought I was going to better after resting on Monday but on Monday night, I had a fever plus I couldn't sleep so it was pretty miserable. Rested the whole of Tuesday and have been feeling better each day since.
Also had a wonderful surprise yesterday. Liz sent a handwritten card for my birthday. Was really touched... I'm generally terrible at handwritten cards/letters so I really treasured her card. It was one of my best birthday gifts this year.
Had a short chat with Liz too over yahoo messenger (the wonderful,wonderful blessings on technology).. And we were talking about life satisfaction. I currently rate mine 8/10... So life's pretty good- probably cos I know I'm living the way He wants me to.

Some pics

Gary with Shiro - one of our new pups



My sis and bro



Puppies in a box



Oreos



My sister



Little princess

Rest and Work

Am back at work - after two days of break due to the Hari Raya Holidays. Must say that it's been one of my more restful holidays-which I'm truly thankful for. I just shudder of what's ahead- worship leading this Sunday for my first time, EFCM youth camp (I'm going as a facilitator and at the same time encourage young people to join the worship team and missions) , Christmas and finally: Watch night service.
So the past two days was technically my final break for the year. The calm before the storm - and I savoured every moment of it (Well, almost every moment of it). My sis's going to Penang for a holiday with her friends to celebrate the end of her exams (the last day of which is tomorrow). Wish I was going too. My idea of a dream holiday - sleep, eat, read books, exploring the place a bit and solitude. Am contemplating taking some time off in January next year to do so-but will have to see. Things always happens around here.

Other highlights of the past few days are :

• Managed to talk to Aunty Bernie for a bit on Sunday. She and Uncle Cheng Hsien are now back in Melbourne. Am always glad when they come back for a visit. Am very fond of them as they continually encourage me whenever they are back.
• Played around with Kenny's camera. Am more or less buying it over from him. Had such fun playing with the camera. Should've brought it so that I could download the photos cos the cable was in my office.
• Manage to finish a couple of chapters from the "Heart of the Artist" by Rory Noland. Very easy reading and yet very challenging to me.

Am worship leading this sunday for the first time in the main congregation - an pretty nervous about it. The other times have been just to assist the worship leader. This time I'll have to chose the songs and the flow. Uncle Lawrence's my partner but he's away until tomorrow. I pray that everything will go smoothly. More importantly, people will be ushered into his presence.

Dear God,

I lay all my concerns down at Your feet. Who am I but your instrument. Please grant me Your wisdom and a sensitivity to Your Spirit that Your people will be able to come and worship You in Your presence. Take away too any anxiousness in my mind. "Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me"

Important Announcement

My big bro Johann and Vern Li is engaged!!!!!
Am so happy for both of them!
Warmest congratulations.

His grace is sufficient for me

Busy busy busy.
Sometimes I'm so busy that I don't want to think anymore. There's just so much to do and to get done. The only thing that keeps me going is having Him by my side.
He knows my ups and downs and he knows too my flaws and love me despite of it. That keeps me going.
Have decided to fast this week. It's just a partial fast (lunch only - and no eating for at least 8 hours) but that's it for now. I've decided to do so because there's just so much spiritual warfare going on around me. In my ministry and as well as in people around my life. I need to hear Him ever more so clearly.
Though it's been a tough week in many ways- I've failed in so many ways- it's just revealed to me how carnal and weak I am, it's been a week of grace too. As Sue Ann keeps saying "His grace is sufficient for me". That verse has just taken a different and more powerful meaning.



Your grace is sufficient for me
Martin Nystrom

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

Dear God,
Thank You for Your grace. It's just so much more than I ever deserve.
You know too how nervous I am to be worship leading in church next week for the first time. May Your Spirit lead and guide me. Grant me too a teachable heart.

Special Day

Today's a special day for me- it's my birthday. I bought a a CD "Planet Shaker's -All that I want"(which really rocks!) and a new book(Jesus, The One and Only by Beth Moore) to celebrate it.
Last night I watched Passion's One Day and was very inspired once again to live for Him.
And that's what this day for me is about - another year of living for Him, of worshipping Him and learning to make choices and to do things His way. Yay!
Of course I like the little gifts that people gave me like a necklace from my sis, an e-card from Liz and a lovely red rose from Sue that added that extra special touch to my day.
At twelve last nite my sis and mum was the first to wish me happy birthday before I went to sleep. This morning, I had a card for liz and talked to my big bro for a bit. Sean also wished me happy birthday in his own special way.. hehhehe
Liz said she'll call tonight-wow! It's been a while since I last spoke to her so I'm looking forward to it. Am also planning to watch more of Monk!!! Super!

Dear God,
Thank you for making me me. =) Thank you for another year to live for you and to worship you. Thank you especially for all the special people in my life. The many who have encouraged me (my mum, my sis, my bro, Sean, Uncle Lawrence, Johann, Liz, Aunty Nancy, Aunty Chan Boey, Uncle Sam, Uncle Daniel, Poh Lyn, Rachel Tan, Audrey and Ting, Chew Sue Ann, Keng Swee, the worship ministry team, Hoong Ern, Chris, Ewe Jin, Eiran, Marcus, Charlene and countless others) and drew me nearer to You. Thank You for the lessons learnt in the past year. I really look forward to another year of walking with You by my side. All glory and praise be unto You.

Your another-year-older child, Ruth.

Down at the cross

It's a special day today and somehow he reminded me of this beautiful song.

From Jeremiah 9: 23 - 24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD , who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD .

Down at the Cross
The Kry

What can I boast about
When the life that I live has been given me
What can I be proud of
But of Jesus who died to set me free
Set me free

Chorus
Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Let not the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
For all men are equal down at the cross

Jesus still reaches out
No matter how far or how weak we are
His love has no bounds
And He reaches the ones down on their knees
On their knees

Bridge
Down at the cross come and leave your pride
Lay everything at His feet
For all of us He was willing to die
Even when we were weak
When we were still without strength
When we were set in our ways
When we were filled with hatred for Him
Still He was willing to die for you and I
Down at the cross

Reflection

My past week has been hectically busy. Full of spiritual insights and at the same time full of activities. I would never wish my week on anyone else though. They just tend to be rather crazy.
I even missed a call from my best cousin *sob sob*.
Anyway - just thought to write on highlights of the week:

• Managed to get most of the "Monk" series from Eiran. Made me a happy gal. I sooo love the show..
• Put up my map of the world in my cosy corner of my office so I can pray for the world (Hmmm.. I should post up a picture now that I've got my shelf to put my worship resources too. It's a joke that I've got a LOT of stuff that I need a LOT of space. sheesh-not like it's a choice - it's more of other ppl's junk that I have to sort out and store. =P)
• Christmas choir practice is went quite well last night
• Heaps of happening stuff is happening during Christmas
• A ministry problem came up on Friday evening that got me highly stressed. Thank God for His wisdom and guidance.
• On Saturday, we had a record practice time with Adrian Ang - 40minutes! Praise God!
• On Sunday, we managed to finish service on time -10.30am: A record time since we moved to our new building. Praise God! Must pray that it happens this week too. Have been working rather hard to ensure that we finish on time every week.
• On Monday had a rare great time out with my mum - and she totally agreed with me that it was great too. We went to buy a DVD player. Now I can watch Passion and One Day at home.
• One of my insight again and again is that His grace is sufficient for me EVERY SINGLE DAY. How absolutely wonderful.

Tomorrow's a special day for me. Thought I should briefly reflect on the past year. God has just been so great to me. Am settling really well into my 'job'. Though it's not been smooth sailing all the time, I do love it heaps. He's just been teaching me a lot of stuff too - and really challenging me to depend on Him each day. Wonder what He'll have in store for me in the next year??