Worship Leading, flu, handwritten cards and life satisfaction..

Worship lead for the first time last weekend in the main sanctuary and praise God it went pretty well- not exactly the best but definitely was one of the better ones. Must be due to all the prayer and petitioning. Again - all glory to Him. I was really nervous and my team and family knew how nervous I was. Just before I started, I whispered a little prayer "Ok Jesus, I know you're partnering with me in this. I surrender all my fears to You. I'll just worship You". A calm just entered my heart. It was just amazing. For those who know me, they can usually tell when I'm nervous on stage - they remarked that I was just very calm and confident. Thank You Jesus for reminding me that in all that I do that we're partners and doing it together.
The weather have been absolutely crazy the past week - hot and cold alternately. It definitely took its toll on me and I was sick in bed with flu the whole of Monday and Tuesday. Thought I was going to better after resting on Monday but on Monday night, I had a fever plus I couldn't sleep so it was pretty miserable. Rested the whole of Tuesday and have been feeling better each day since.
Also had a wonderful surprise yesterday. Liz sent a handwritten card for my birthday. Was really touched... I'm generally terrible at handwritten cards/letters so I really treasured her card. It was one of my best birthday gifts this year.
Had a short chat with Liz too over yahoo messenger (the wonderful,wonderful blessings on technology).. And we were talking about life satisfaction. I currently rate mine 8/10... So life's pretty good- probably cos I know I'm living the way He wants me to.

Some pics

Gary with Shiro - one of our new pups



My sis and bro



Puppies in a box



Oreos



My sister



Little princess

Rest and Work

Am back at work - after two days of break due to the Hari Raya Holidays. Must say that it's been one of my more restful holidays-which I'm truly thankful for. I just shudder of what's ahead- worship leading this Sunday for my first time, EFCM youth camp (I'm going as a facilitator and at the same time encourage young people to join the worship team and missions) , Christmas and finally: Watch night service.
So the past two days was technically my final break for the year. The calm before the storm - and I savoured every moment of it (Well, almost every moment of it). My sis's going to Penang for a holiday with her friends to celebrate the end of her exams (the last day of which is tomorrow). Wish I was going too. My idea of a dream holiday - sleep, eat, read books, exploring the place a bit and solitude. Am contemplating taking some time off in January next year to do so-but will have to see. Things always happens around here.

Other highlights of the past few days are :

• Managed to talk to Aunty Bernie for a bit on Sunday. She and Uncle Cheng Hsien are now back in Melbourne. Am always glad when they come back for a visit. Am very fond of them as they continually encourage me whenever they are back.
• Played around with Kenny's camera. Am more or less buying it over from him. Had such fun playing with the camera. Should've brought it so that I could download the photos cos the cable was in my office.
• Manage to finish a couple of chapters from the "Heart of the Artist" by Rory Noland. Very easy reading and yet very challenging to me.

Am worship leading this sunday for the first time in the main congregation - an pretty nervous about it. The other times have been just to assist the worship leader. This time I'll have to chose the songs and the flow. Uncle Lawrence's my partner but he's away until tomorrow. I pray that everything will go smoothly. More importantly, people will be ushered into his presence.

Dear God,

I lay all my concerns down at Your feet. Who am I but your instrument. Please grant me Your wisdom and a sensitivity to Your Spirit that Your people will be able to come and worship You in Your presence. Take away too any anxiousness in my mind. "Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me"

Important Announcement

My big bro Johann and Vern Li is engaged!!!!!
Am so happy for both of them!
Warmest congratulations.

His grace is sufficient for me

Busy busy busy.
Sometimes I'm so busy that I don't want to think anymore. There's just so much to do and to get done. The only thing that keeps me going is having Him by my side.
He knows my ups and downs and he knows too my flaws and love me despite of it. That keeps me going.
Have decided to fast this week. It's just a partial fast (lunch only - and no eating for at least 8 hours) but that's it for now. I've decided to do so because there's just so much spiritual warfare going on around me. In my ministry and as well as in people around my life. I need to hear Him ever more so clearly.
Though it's been a tough week in many ways- I've failed in so many ways- it's just revealed to me how carnal and weak I am, it's been a week of grace too. As Sue Ann keeps saying "His grace is sufficient for me". That verse has just taken a different and more powerful meaning.



Your grace is sufficient for me
Martin Nystrom

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

Dear God,
Thank You for Your grace. It's just so much more than I ever deserve.
You know too how nervous I am to be worship leading in church next week for the first time. May Your Spirit lead and guide me. Grant me too a teachable heart.

Special Day

Today's a special day for me- it's my birthday. I bought a a CD "Planet Shaker's -All that I want"(which really rocks!) and a new book(Jesus, The One and Only by Beth Moore) to celebrate it.
Last night I watched Passion's One Day and was very inspired once again to live for Him.
And that's what this day for me is about - another year of living for Him, of worshipping Him and learning to make choices and to do things His way. Yay!
Of course I like the little gifts that people gave me like a necklace from my sis, an e-card from Liz and a lovely red rose from Sue that added that extra special touch to my day.
At twelve last nite my sis and mum was the first to wish me happy birthday before I went to sleep. This morning, I had a card for liz and talked to my big bro for a bit. Sean also wished me happy birthday in his own special way.. hehhehe
Liz said she'll call tonight-wow! It's been a while since I last spoke to her so I'm looking forward to it. Am also planning to watch more of Monk!!! Super!

Dear God,
Thank you for making me me. =) Thank you for another year to live for you and to worship you. Thank you especially for all the special people in my life. The many who have encouraged me (my mum, my sis, my bro, Sean, Uncle Lawrence, Johann, Liz, Aunty Nancy, Aunty Chan Boey, Uncle Sam, Uncle Daniel, Poh Lyn, Rachel Tan, Audrey and Ting, Chew Sue Ann, Keng Swee, the worship ministry team, Hoong Ern, Chris, Ewe Jin, Eiran, Marcus, Charlene and countless others) and drew me nearer to You. Thank You for the lessons learnt in the past year. I really look forward to another year of walking with You by my side. All glory and praise be unto You.

Your another-year-older child, Ruth.

Down at the cross

It's a special day today and somehow he reminded me of this beautiful song.

From Jeremiah 9: 23 - 24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD , who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD .

Down at the Cross
The Kry

What can I boast about
When the life that I live has been given me
What can I be proud of
But of Jesus who died to set me free
Set me free

Chorus
Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Let not the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
For all men are equal down at the cross

Jesus still reaches out
No matter how far or how weak we are
His love has no bounds
And He reaches the ones down on their knees
On their knees

Bridge
Down at the cross come and leave your pride
Lay everything at His feet
For all of us He was willing to die
Even when we were weak
When we were still without strength
When we were set in our ways
When we were filled with hatred for Him
Still He was willing to die for you and I
Down at the cross

Reflection

My past week has been hectically busy. Full of spiritual insights and at the same time full of activities. I would never wish my week on anyone else though. They just tend to be rather crazy.
I even missed a call from my best cousin *sob sob*.
Anyway - just thought to write on highlights of the week:

• Managed to get most of the "Monk" series from Eiran. Made me a happy gal. I sooo love the show..
• Put up my map of the world in my cosy corner of my office so I can pray for the world (Hmmm.. I should post up a picture now that I've got my shelf to put my worship resources too. It's a joke that I've got a LOT of stuff that I need a LOT of space. sheesh-not like it's a choice - it's more of other ppl's junk that I have to sort out and store. =P)
• Christmas choir practice is went quite well last night
• Heaps of happening stuff is happening during Christmas
• A ministry problem came up on Friday evening that got me highly stressed. Thank God for His wisdom and guidance.
• On Saturday, we had a record practice time with Adrian Ang - 40minutes! Praise God!
• On Sunday, we managed to finish service on time -10.30am: A record time since we moved to our new building. Praise God! Must pray that it happens this week too. Have been working rather hard to ensure that we finish on time every week.
• On Monday had a rare great time out with my mum - and she totally agreed with me that it was great too. We went to buy a DVD player. Now I can watch Passion and One Day at home.
• One of my insight again and again is that His grace is sufficient for me EVERY SINGLE DAY. How absolutely wonderful.

Tomorrow's a special day for me. Thought I should briefly reflect on the past year. God has just been so great to me. Am settling really well into my 'job'. Though it's not been smooth sailing all the time, I do love it heaps. He's just been teaching me a lot of stuff too - and really challenging me to depend on Him each day. Wonder what He'll have in store for me in the next year??

Feelings and Knowing

The past week was just rather - well, don't quite know the word to describe it. Sort of in a limbo - felt less passionate about things rather than usual... Except during Bible Study with my small group last Friday. Probably because that was the lesson that He was teaching me- and at the same time I was teaching my piano student. Besides teaching the technical aspects of playing the piano, I've been convicted to impart the spiritual side too. I find that musicians nowadays are too focused on the technical that the spiritual side of it is totally 'ignorable'.
Anyhows, was just teaching her on feelings and knowing in worship. That worship is more than feelings in the worship. It's about heart and head knowledge of God. That's how we should worship Him.

Last Friday, Bible study was great because I could sense the Holy Spirit's presence guiding the discussion - despite having it in the midst Swensen's ice creams. We were really challenged to read our Bible and really hungry to read the Word.

Dear God,
Thank you for all your working. Please continue to grow our faith in You and to develope a love for Your Word which is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

My cosy corner..

Have been busy these past few days - what with meetings galore and hanging out with family as well as the new adorable puppies. Yesterday, I've just moved back to the office and I have been trying to make my corner as cosy as possible - the typical girl thing to do. Been having fun with that.
Am looking forward to Kenny lending his camera. Am going to take photos of the puppies and post them up tomorrow.

Okies. Need to get back to work.



Dear God,
Thanks for your timely reminder that I should "boast only in the Cross" from your servant - John Piper. Let it sink in my heart, soul and mind the glorious thing that Your Son has done for me on the cross

Blown Away..

Wow! God answered another prayer... My friend's dad who has lung cancer accepted the Lord last night!! I'm just so blown away!!! Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God Praise God PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!
When I received the news, my mind was just blown away.. and I almost cried.. Am so happy and glad for my friend... He said the sinners prayer with his dad TWICE just to make sure he got it right..
The angels must really be rejoicing in heaven too!!!
Never expected for the God to answer this so quickly... We were all praying for him at prayer meeting last night too.. Thank You God so much... I'm SO AMAZED by YOU!!!

What to say..

Wonder if other people come to a point/day in their life where there's just nothing much to blog about. Well... I've reached that point for today..
Well, the verse below just came to mind and it sorts of describes me at the moment.



So I'm just.... quiet.... *contented sigh*

Today

Today's turning out to be a rather eventful day. I've just found out that one of my friend's father is dying (Doctors have given him a few weeks to live). His father has cancer and he's praying for his father's healing and salvation. Me being me, I'm at this point of being cautious whether God will heal his dad (Yes- I'm having little faith). I'm just worried that he will be dissapointed in God. *sigh* I know how that feels. And yet, another part of me says - "O ye of little faith. God can do so much more than you can ever imagine. " I hope so in this case.
Also, am feeling discouraged about where the ministries in church are going. I guess I lost perspective for a while that God's in charge of the ministries and that He'll take care of the ministries.

Dear God,
I know sometimes I run ahead of myself and it's times like this that my faith is small. Enlarge my faith in You. I pray that You will heal my friend's dad. Most importantly, I pray for his dad's salvation. I know that his dad is in a lot of pain and that his dad's thoughts are just not coherent. But God, I do KNOW that You are bigger than all that and that you work in special ways-YOUR WAYS. Help me believe.
I pray too for my friend and his family. Please minister and comfort them in this time. Support him a lot as he's still a young child in You.

Oreos' Home! and other nice surprises

Oreos' Home!! and my joy is complete. =) Hehehhe
He came home last Sunday out of the blue. Mum has a theory that someone must have kidnapped him to mate with their dog and then let him go. He looked "none the worse for wear" albeit a bit thin. But he seemed like the same old Oreos.
Quite a number of stuff happened last week too.. Let me recap.
Wednesday morning - Rachel Tan sent email to say that she's engaged.
Wednesday afternoon - Patches gave birth to 6 puppies. 2 died and 4 survived. They are such cute tubby little things. *grin*
Thursday evening- My bro informed us he passed his resit exams. Praise God!!!!
Friday - moved to my temporary office. Have a room all to myself. *happy sigh* Just love the privacy to pray and not be distracted.
Saturday evening - Bought my much awaited for Study Bible. Am so in love with it. *happy sigh*
Had a lovely weekend: Saturday was rather stressful but Sunday and Monday was nice. Managed for the first time in 4 months to catch up on my sleep. *happy sigh*

Dear God,
Thank you once again for everything. Thanks for answering my prayers and bringing Oreos home.

Tired and sick

Am feeling slightly under the weather this week and it's rather depressing. I walk a round with this constant ache in my back and am in a slightly woozy condition-feeling a small headache coming along too(makes me wanna pop some Panadol-am restraining myself). *sigh*
I had to be in bed almost the whole day yesterday and it's not quite how I envisioned to spend my off day. Looking on the bright side - at least I got some rest. But I am miserable cos I am in pain - and I hate being in pain. I suppose that I could always take the Panadol..... *restrain* *sigh*
Have choir practice tonight and I sooooo don't feel like going. *sigh* I must.. Just want to have a snooze.
Sheeesh.. Just want to feel normal again.

Oreos is still missing and other stuff

*sigh* It's the third day he's missing and he shows no sign of coming back. I have a really bad feeling that he was dognapped. =(
Anyways.. Just a few thoughts

• My cousin have just created a new blog!!!
• Eiran started working in church today too and spent quite a number time talking to him about youth in our church. He's going to be helping out in JY.
• Was reminded last night how blessed I am to have Uncle Lawrence as my boss. Can't really explain this but he's really protective of those of us who are in the worship team. Never really realised this until I spoke to him yesterday. He really cares for us.
• Am going to have an awesome time with my cell group - Zebulun tonight. Having dinner, Bible study, games and prayer for one another. Am looking forward to that!!!
• Current reading: "The heart of the artist". Really awesome book for people who serve on the stage.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for all the great stuff that you've done in my life. Thank You for people in my life like Uncle Lawrence and the yummy suckling pig stuff that he gave last night. Really made my dinner better. *BIG GRIN*
Want to pray that You're taking care of Oreos-whereever he may be.
Want to pray for the Youth Ministry. Challenge them once again God. They need so much help.

My Oreos... where are you?

My dog Oreos has gone missing. Wonder where he went and if he found his way home. I must confess that I don't spend a lot of time with him - but I miss him when he's gone. He has this *look* that gets people talking to him. Still remember the day I brought him home with his two brothers. *sigh*

Dear God,
Please bring him home and keep him safe. Don't usually take him out cos he doesn't really like to go out without Patches. I think he's lost. Please let him be at home when I get back.

Worship

Was assisting Uncle Lawrence in worship leading on Sunday. All I can say right now is - praise God for all He's done in the worship. Many people came and said that the worship was good. I'd like to think that many were ushered into His presence - not because of anything I've done.
I must admit that I came to the point where I told the Lord: "I'm just your weak child: Not feeling perfect or confident now. But I leave it all to You". I came to a point where it reallly didn't matter what others were thinking. To be honest, I wasn't even listening to the musicians to hear if they were making a mistake(ok- I admit- I usually do that). I just chose to worship Him - fully concious of my weaknesses and humbled by Him and His love for me.
As always, worship leading is always difficult for me. Am always concious of the responsibility to be holy. My family especially will be the first to say - "Ruth - holy??. Yeah righhhtt."
And somehow, something always happens beforehand. Really learnt the meaning of dying to self and seriously, it's quite a painful experience. Then again I did say that prayer last week in my blog, didn't I? =P

Dear God,
Thank You for Your spirit's work in my life. The refining fire is really painful and humbling in the past week. I pray that You will continue to refine me anyways so that I may be used greater for Your glory. Grant me wisdom in my relationships with my family and those closest to me - to rebuke in love where there is a need and to show heaps of grace too which I know I can be sorely lacking of.

Once Again

Every now and then I get sorta this wake up call - a heightened awareness of my calling and who I am in Christ - and it usually lingers for quite a while. Last night was one of those times. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I attended DA Carson's talk last night.
He gave a sobering message. (Will blog it tomorrow as I forgot to bring my notebook)

A few things that sticks in my head:
1. A Christian's life is a transformed life. The word of God is living and active. It changes life. If I confess to be a christian, my life should never be the same again. If our life remains unchange, then we are not Christians - because if Christ lives in us transformation should and would happen.
2. We MUST reevaluate what we are doing and treasuring now. Is it going to count in 2 billion years time? If not, we're investing our time and ourselves wrongly.
3. Am I willing to die for my Lord Jesus Christ- be it to self or physically? How much do I treasure my life? And though the choice is hard to make: "Yes Lord, I'm willing."
Why? - He is my Creator. I owe Him everything. Matthew 10:28 "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
4. The undiluted/uncut wrath of God is absolutely horrific. Therefore I should love righteousnes and NOT despise it.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your Word again last night. I pray that You will transform me. May I never be the person I was. Change me - no matter how hard the process - and I know that it will be hard and painful. Help me as I decide each day to die to myself. It's not easy and the evil one will not be pleased. But I know that Your grace will be sufficient for me each time I fall. Thank You for dying for me. I am Blessed.

Amazed

Current listening: 'Amazed' and 'Rescue' by desperation band

I just feel like weeping.
I want to weep for the worship ministry. Just have this burden that God will be sovereign over each and every one in the ministry.
I want to weep for my family. I pray that there will be breakthroughs.
I want to weep in wonder and joy of the things He has placed in my heart. Both the songs just really speaks to me at the moment

From Amazed
"Lord I’m amazed by You!
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me"

From Rescued
You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me


Dear God,
Thank You for the beautiful and wonderful teaching that You have spoken through DA Carson. Lord, my soul hungers and yearns for You.
This world indeed has nothing for me compare to You. I'm so amazed by You and Your love for me. It surrounds me.
As I see Your beauty, I repent of my sins.
I pray that You will come and dwell in the hearts of the people in my church and be sovereign. Work in us. May Your glory fall in our church and Your revival sweep through this place once again. Mould us and refine us - no matter how painful it will be.
Change us so that the world may see that You ARE the Ever Living God. May many come to know You for who You are.
My soul blesses Your name.

Ruth