On CUG

My friends at College Uni Group never fail to amaze me. Every Friday, as I go and help them out, it seems that there is much for me to learn from them as well.

Last Friday, we had a bible study discussion on James 2 - about how 'Actions speak louder than words'. It was also to encourage them not to show favouritism and to look beyond themselves and their cliques - and welcoming especially those on the fringes of the group and newcomers. They had a lively discussion and I was asked to summarise the bible study session. Their honesty and their openess amazed me. Though it had always been unspoken, they shared about their fears and their struggles to look beyond themselves - some profess that they don't feel like belonging, some confessed that they just have not done what they knew they were supposed to do, others shared that they feared that they will be stuck with the responsibility and do not know what to do with the person after a while. What really moved me even more was they were willing to TRY to change together. Like I told them, I think they're an amazing bunch of people. I feel privileged to be able to serve them no matter how tired I am.

I look forward to see what they are going to be up to tonite...

Quote from Bonhoeffer

It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human commander than to suffer in the freedom of an act undertaken purely on one’s own responsibility.
It is infinitely easier to suffer in community than to suffer in loneliness.
It is infinitely easier to suffer openly and in honour than to suffer apart and in shame.
It is infinitely easier to suffer by risking one’s physical life than to suffer in the spirit.
Christ suffered in freedom, in loneliness, apart and in shame, in body and in spirit,
And many Christians have since suffered with him.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Verse for the day

Don't ask me why, but I tend to get rather melancholy whenever I have to write assignments. This semester's no different (and it's worse in some ways. :p). Was reminded of this verse yesterday in the midst of my assignment.

Quote for the day

“The flower that follows the sun does so even in cloudy days” - Robert Leighton

Collect for today

Almighty god, whom truly to know is everlasting life: Grant us so perfectly to know thy Son Jesus Christ to be the way, the truth, and the life, that we may steadfastly follow his steps in the way that leads to eternal life; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Some Useful Free Softwares for Writing Papers

The other day, in thesis methodology class, one of my friend showed me some really helpful FREE softwares that one could use for writing papers.

a. Q10 - Being a person who's just so easily distracted, I was especially delighted with 'q10' -an answer to my prayers. It's an editor that blanks out the rest of the screen and makes you just focus on the text that you're writing on. It also has features such as alarm clock that you can set so that you can finish a set amount of words in the allocated time and keeps track of your progress.

b. Free mind- this is a rather good programme for those people who like to do mind mapping.

c. Jabref - a software that helps you to keep track of bibliographies. You can also link PDF files to the database. I think it takes a fair bit of memory space cos it does slow down the computer. Nevertheless, it's very helpful.

d. LaTex - This software brought me back to the time when I was studying computer programming. Had to use this in our Computer science department to write our big papers. It's not WYSIWYG and it does require one to be a bit more technical. Nevertheless, it's really really awesome programme for writing huge papers and books. The beauty of this is that you don't have to worry about formatting and all you have to do is to just concentrate on the texts! Am planning to get reacquainted with this programme during the holidays - am thinking that it might be useful for writing thesis.

Starbucks and government servant

Went to Starbucks again today(*Sigh. It's terrible. Have been going there every week now that they've conveniently moved across the street from my church office). Had lunch at the church concourse as the staff were invited to have pizza with the Alpha people. After a quick lunch, Kar Yong and I went back to the office to get work done (incidentally I spent most of my day packing the Worship Ministry stuff as the office will be renovated over the next month. :p).

After a few minutes back in the office, Kar Yong wanted to have some coffee (as usual.. *grin*). He also invited Leon, a friend and colleague, to join us. Was rather tickled when Leon said to Kar Yong 'Didn't you just come back from lunch? You sound like a government servant.'

Hahahhahahahah.... Kar Yong being a government servant is somehow so hilarious.... hahahhaha

Breakfast at STM

*Author's note: This post is dedicated to Perng Shyang as I've almost gave in to the thought of NOT writing it. However, knowing that you've been waiting for this post keeps me from giving up. ;)

Students at my seminary take turns to prepare breakfast. While lunch and dinner is prepared by the cook, breakfast is the only meal that we have some sort of autonomy to decide what we would like to have. Preparing breakfast is a part of our duties as we live as a community. We usually have the option of either ordering or cooking for everyone. Of course, it's just much more convenient to order food. So we'd usually end up having nasi lemak, fried rice, fried mee hoon, big pau, loh mai kai, kueh, siew pau, egg tarts, wan tan mee, etc...

As for me, when it gets to my turn, I usually opt for cooking breakfast. Perhaps it's because of the fact that my mum used to be a caterer, cooking breakfast for 70-100 is not too daunting. I'm also always thankful for my prayer group girls(left pic) who have been my willing helpers and partners in crime. Because of them, it's possible for me to serve Western breakfast at STM instead.

Last Monday, it was my turn again. Decided to add bacon to the menu as I normally only cook chicken sausages and scrambled eggs. In the end, we had scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, baked beans, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and bread (Picture above).

Personally, I found everyone's reaction quite amusing. First of all, I had two 'policemen'(right pic) who helped me monitor the food (to make sure that everyone took their fair share -1 bacon, 1 sausages and 1 scoop of scrambled eggs). They were also waiting for their opportunity to take extras should anyone not claim their share. :p

Also, there were quite a fair bit of people who not only turned up for breakfast for a Monday (most students usually opt to sleep in or go out for breakfast), but were willing to wait half an hour so they could have leftovers. One of my prayer group girlfriend told me that she was amazed that everything was finished by 9am as there are usually always leftovers. Hahahhaa....

Personally, I always find the effort worthwhile. I'm very encouraged by the people who come extra early for breakfast (I was quite surprised that a few ppl showed up 15 mins before breakfast time. The food wasn't even ready yet. *grin). One of my friends who found out that there was going to be bacon for breakfast got his sister-in-law to save some for him till he got back to STM. Hehehe. Also, the very appreciative audience always spur me to keep on going. It's a small thing, but I'm glad that I can be a blessing to my fellow seminarians in this small way. (Right pic - a satisfied looking STMer. ;) )

Quote on Providence

“What in me is dark, Illumine, what is low, raise and support, That to the height of this great argument I may assert eternal Providence, And justify the ways of God to men.” - John Milton

What I forgot...

Sometimes things happens that makes one feel bewildered and slightly lost. The world as one knows it no longer seems familiar - everything seems upside down. What was once comforting, now seems hostile. Where does one go from there? The usual routes doesn't seem viable any longer. How does one get up and go on? The very ground that you used to stand on, once firm, now seems shaky. What you once thought you knew with certainty, now you are no longer sure.

Does anyone really care? Understand even? CAN they really? Friends and family bring whatever comfort that they can - sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Even if it does, it seems temporary.

One of my good pastor friend once told me, if you look closely, you'd realise that it's during those time when you are wandering in the desert that He works His miracles. You see Him more clearly than at any other time.

In chapel today, one of my prayer partner, Lucy, chose this song, "Allah Mengerti, Allah Peduli." (God understands, He cares). Felt like I was hit hard with this truth. This morning in theology class, I was reminded again of how we ARE significant to God. Where things no longer make sense, the fact is, He is there. He understands and He does care - no matter how alone, how out of whack, how insignificant, how lost, how painful, how hopeless we feel. In my moment of stupidity, I forgot...

Allah Mengerti, Allah Peduli

Banyak perkara yang tak dapat kumengerti
Mengapa harus terjadi di dalam kehidupan ini
There are many things that I don't understand why it has to happen in this life

Satu perkara yang ku simpan dalam hati
Tiada satu pun 'kan terjadi tanpa Allah peduli
One thing I keep in my heart- nothing will happen without God caring

Chorus:
Allah mengerti, Allah peduli
Segala persoalan yang kita hadapi
Tak akan pernah dibiarkannya ku bergumul sendiri
Sebab Allah Mengerti
God understands, He cares
About all the challenges/questions that we face
He will never let me wrestle alone
Because God understands

Some things just don't change...

It's already Friday!! This weekend looks like another particularly terribly busy weekend doing ministry. Meetings to attend, attending practice for Sunday, emails to send out, helping out at CUG, preparing for bible study, packing up stuff at the office, etc... How does one cram doing all these things over tonite and tomorrow till 5pm? :p

Every month, students are usually required to write a reflection paper about their 'practical'/field education during weekends. Mr Allen, one of my lecturers usually reads through our reflection paper and comments on it. Just last week, he told me that he was clearing some of the things in his office and came across one of my reflection papers that I handed up to him two years ago. Apparently that particular reflection paper was about busy-ness in ministry. He cheekily told me 'Ruth, I think that paper still applies to you.' Tongue in cheek, I told him, 'Yeah, I think that as long as I'm in ministry in the church, I'll forever be busy.....' :S

A collect

A friend reminded me of one of my favourite collect that we use for the evening Anglican chapel and I thought it was rather apt as we struggle through assignments. Also, thought of my pastor whom I am very fond of who fell down last saturday and fractured his femur bone.

Lighten our darkness,
Lord, we pray,
and in your great mercy
defend us from all perils and dangers of this night
for the love of your only Son,
our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Article on Cairo

A friend from church sent me this article: "A city where you can't hear yourself scream".. Thought to post it as it brought back fond memories of Cairo... ;)

CAIRO: Egyptians in this capital city say it is harder and harder to be heard and to have a voice, but they are not talking politics. Well, not only politics.

What they are talking about, or rather yelling about, is noise, the incredible background noise of a city crammed with 18 million people, and millions of drivers who always have one hand on the horn and a rules-free way of thinking.

"Whenever I talk to people, they always say, 'Why are you screaming?' " said Salah Abdul Hamid, 56, a barber whose two-chair shop is on the corner of a busy street on the north side.
Hamid was, of course, screaming.

It was 4 p.m. in Rhode al Farag, a typical Cairo neighborhood teeming with people and shops and cars and trucks and buses and horse-drawn carts. From his shop, the landscape of sound revealed a chorus of people struggling to make a living, trying to assert themselves in a city, and in a country, where they often feel invisible. (Read more here..)

Hard pressed...

Feeling hard pressed on every side
There's the pile of assignments screaming for attention
The never ending demands of ministering in church
People to meet and minister to
Friends and family to spend time with
Issues to be resolved

How is Your voice heard in the midst of the roar?
Where Your words speaks, it seems to be drowned next by the demands of life
Time with You seems so inadequate
The soul barely rests in You before moving on
It longs for green pastures, for the quiet waters
For restoration....

Ps 23
The LORD is my shepherd
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Thoughts...

I've decided to take a break from my assignment that I've been attempting to write the whole day. 'Attempting' being the operative word as I have ended up staring in the screen and blanking out most of the time. It's most distressing as I've been trying to finish this paper for a couple of weeks and am just pushing myself to finish it by the morning. *sigh*

At this rate, it might be an impossibility unless some miracle happens in the next few hours. *sigh*. I remember that in my first year, I used to wonder if I'll last these four years. Eventually, I got over that as I got used to life in seminary. However, writing this paper seems to bring out that particular ugly head again. :p It doesn't help that I seem to feel tired all the time either. Last weekend has been a particular long one. This weekend looks no different either.

Positiveness has been a little bit harder to come by the last few weeks and there are stretches of days where gloominess seems to be my companion. There's the dreaded feeling of everything just stagnating. My pastor and another friend assures me that it's a phase that I just have to go through for now - and to keep on pushing to keep on going in spite of everything. It's probably because I struggle as I continue to learn to let God mould me. Some days are harder than others. Times that I have to myself to think and pray things through seems like a trial. Nevertheless, I am trying to put one foot forward after another (just like trying to keep on going on despite staring blankly at the screen :p). By His grace, i'll continue taking the next step. Guess I'll have to continue with that particular struggle and get back to that assignment too.

Memories...

My sister Nicole wrote a beautiful poem entitled 'Ancient voices'. I really love the poem and it brought back many wonderful memories about the country of my heart as well as the great need there.

I miss the time and space I had there. In contrast, everything seems so busy here - one thing seems to come after another. I still miss the culture where people drop everything just to be with people- the friendly and interesting taxi drivers, the daily scenes as you walk along the streets of Cairo. I still miss the people and the friends that I've made there. It's been three months since I've been home and sometimes my time there seems like a dream. At other times, very vivid memories and faces come to mind - the language school I attended, my beloved teacher, my family members, the beautiful children, my housemates, my church members, the laughter, the adventure of each new day, the rides on the microbuses with a friend, visitation to an old lady from church - and I find myself longing to be back there once again...

Quote for the day

Liked this quote from chapel service today...

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr

Service to Remember Martin Luther King Jr

This morning we had a chapel service to remember Martin Luther King Jr's contribution. A lot of emphasis was placed on how he was an agent of change and spoke out for justice. Definitely something to challenge us as we continue following Christ.

As part of the service, we sang negro spirituals songs and I really loved the songs that my friend Lee Yng led. One of my friends said she was really moved when were singing the song Kum Ba Yah (Come By Here). I agree with her. It was really beautiful.

Personally, my favourite song was 'Let Us Break Bread Together'. Thought to put the lyrics up here:

Let us break bread together on our knees (on our knees)
Let us break bread together on our knees (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun
O Lord have mercy on me

Let us drink wine together on our knees (on our knees)
Let us drink wine together on our knees (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun
O Lord have mercy on me.

Eating and fellowship...

Feeling quite stuffed. Just came back from the Marriage and Counselling class (even though technically I'm not enrolled for that class today). I was invited by the lecturer to join them for their 'makan' session(pic left) at the end of the class as it's the final session for the semester. The lecturer, Getrude Buck and her husband Erwin Buck (who's my Mark class lecturer) will be heading for their home back in Canada this weekend. It's been great to have them with us and they've been a blessing to us in STM - wished that they could've stayed longer so that we could get to know them better.

Tonite, there were lots of cheese, crackers, fruits, dips, date squares, cookies, brownies,spring rolls, dumplings, etc... It was quite lovely. I cheekily told one of the lecturers who attends the class- 'how nice it'd be if we did this for every class at the end of the semester.' We'd have lots of eating and fellowship time. ;)