Bad cough, bad flu

That's what the doctor say...

Am feeling heaps better after spending almost two days in bed..
Though that has barely made a dent in the cough and flu...
Hope I get better soon.

Sit, Walk, Stand

Flu's being contained today.. Apart from the occasional sneezing and sniffing.. It's not so bad - so far at least.
At least my body's not feeling so crappy today too...

Am currently reading "Sit, Walk, Stand" by Watchman Nee(my current hero of faith). It about Ephesians... It's just relevant right now as I study through the book of Romans- helps to consolidate my doctrines and just a great reminder of how I need to "sit" and rest so much more before I walk and stand.

FLU coming!!! Arrgghhh!!

*Sigh*..
Am getting a flu today! Just started sniffing and sneezing during lunch time..
I can't afford to get sick this week (I can't afford to get sick at all! there's heaps to do as usual)... I'm worship leading this weekend!
I've been getting at least 8-9 hours sleep the past two days and yet- doesn't seem to be doing much to heal it!! Aaarrrggghh..
Am frustrated because am feeling bleary and I therefore seem to be working half my normal speed.. plus I spend a lot of time trying to recall things because my mind's just going blank.. *sigh*.. I can't even finish the report that was due today -am just so not up to it..
But my time with Him was great today - though I was feeling really sleepy. Was refreshed for a short while and my spirit found rest - despite my body feeling crappy and pulling my spirit down earlier in the morning.
AM just looking forward to go home to SLEEP and sleep and sleep (heheh-now sounding like Eiran and Jan Sen)...

Dear God,
Thanks for that wonderful time that I had with you in this morning.. Please heal my body-before my flu gets worse so that I can lead Your people into worship - if not, please prepare Jason to take over(hahahah)..

Ramblings

Am in a somewhat contemplative mood - as you can see from my previous entry. Somehow, when I'm in this mood, it doesn't dispell as fast as would like it to..
It also means that I'll tend to be slightly moodier and broodier than usual.. :P
So unless you're really funny to me today... I'll probably not speak much.. Cos of the lot of stuff in my mind..
Am seriously confused how ppl can be really unwise(I have a stronger word in mind but I think I'll just not write it!) in their judgements and how it just really affects other ppl. Ok.. maybe I'm complaining because I'm the "other ppl"... And how I totally hate to be involved in this kind of stuff.. It's the 'S' (one of the D,I,S,C temperaments) in me that hates all these things.. Just like my world to be peaceful and calm.. Part of me just want to complain "WHY GOD?????!!!"... The other part of me's going "why does that person have to be so vindictive and hurt everyone??" *sigh*
Then again, someone wisely told me, it's seriously a spiritual battle going on..

Dear God,
In the name of Jesus, I speak life into the situation. God of all wisdom, please grant me some - to know how to deal with this situation as well as not to brood in it.
Please heal my cough too as I know it's not helping the situation much and adds already to the distress in my body.
Thank You Jesus for caring for me in all situations...

Little puzzles

It's amazing how a phone call can make my day.. And at the same time, another phone call can be so awkward..

Am also amazed that how some things told in confidence is just 'blabbed'(for want of a better word) just because the person is mad at the other and justifies it by saying "it's their fault". Sheesh... I pray that I won't be like that. *sigh* life can be so complicated at times.

It's then amazing how God uses some ppl to cheer me up and others to 'make me sad'.

Reuben Morgan, weekend activities...

Am just posting this while Reuben Morgan and his band are just jamming and doing their sound check for their Worship Event here in about 2 hour's time(Yes- I can hear it from all the way here!!!!).
Am trying to drown out their noise with my music over my computer speakers- to no avail I might add!
Am trying to upload my Tung Ling photos into my multiply site (http://ruthng.multiply.com).. Am getting slightly tired of all the editing of photos and deciding what to upload and am taking a break...
Am trying to figure out what I'm suppose to do for the next half hour before my ushering meeting in half an hours.

Such is my life- so many things happening at once! But again, knowing that I'm walking in the center of my father's will while doing all these things just makes me feel really contented..

Speaking of many things happening at once.. Am so happy that am meeting some of my Tung Ling friends tonite! Fiona, Andy, Ps Wah Lok and Chin Yee(I think.. ) will at least be here-besides the two E's(As Ezra calls Ewe Jin and Eiran *hehehehe*). Yay!! Though he can't make it tonite, Ezra made my day cos he sent me an email!!! *BIG GRIN*

Thought that I'd better post that the past two days have just been really crazy but good in so many ways..
On Saturday, we didn't go through a lot of Romans as I thought we would. We just did about an hour's worth of reviewing and then Sue Ann realised the meeting was at 5-not 5.30 so we had to rush off to Acts Church.. Am very glad I went- was really blessed during the worship. Was really warmly welcomed too... Just fell in love with the warmness of the ppl there.... We also had dinner with Ps Kenneth Chin, Ps Sandra, Alex and another of their full time worker until 10pm..
Sue Ann and I went to have some buble tea after that and discussed Ps Kenneth's sermon... It really ministered to me in so many ways.. While discussing, we realised that we needed to work on the agenda and so abandoned the thought of continuing studying the book of Romans.. We had some discouraging moments and were stumped about the Cross Gen Leader's meeting agenda and decided to get the help of someone very wise - my mum!
Was glad we did so.. We prayed a lot and discussed until 3 in the morning of what we should do with the Cross Gen leaders on Sunday.. We had a lot of great inputs from my mum too..
Got really zonked out by the time I went to bed and really struggled getting up at 8.30 to go to church! Church service was great the next day with some confirmation of what we were going to do in the afternoon. Our leaders meeting was held at 12.30pm in the afternoon and it went on until 7pm in the evening.... Some of us also went for dinner after that and it was almost 10pm by the time I got back.. Praise God that the meeting went so well!! I believed that God' just doing something great in Cross Gen.

My dear Father in Heaven,
I continually thank You for all that You're doing in my life, for Your guidance, the way You speak to me at so many times, the way You're working in the Cross Gen Leaders, for my great friends that blesses me so much and most of all for my supportive family. Looking forward to an awesome time of worship with You tonight... Am also looking forward to this week and what You have in store for me...

My song of prayer

Was just playing this on the piano while waiting for Sue Ann today.
A song of prayer

Living Sacrifice
Words and music by Ruth Ng

Teach us to worship You the way You want us to
Teach us to love You Lord with all of our hearts
Teach us to live for You in all that we do
And to offer up our lives as a living sacrifice

May our lives as incense rise to You
Pleasing You as fragrant perfume

©May 2005 Ruth Ng

Romans and my Mum

Am on holidays today!!!! Am so glad for the rest - if one can call preparing Bible Study materials for Cross Gen rest..*grimace* :P
Am waiting for Sue Ann to come back from picking up her sister. I thought to write down a few thoughts since she so graciously offered her computer to me. We're doing the Bible study materials on Romans today... This is our second time meeting up and we've only done three chapters! But I must recommend that EVERY CHRISTIAN should read Romans. It's got all the doctrinal basis for a Christian.. So far - we've only done the bits on how much we need to be justified.. And that we're not any better than the Gentiles.. Have been so humbling and it's just speaking to me and rebuking me in my spiritual faith at times.

On a separate note, I was talking to my mum last nite till pretty late (more like 3am! Then again it's a holiday today! yay!). I really treasure her advice on ministry and relational issues... I'm continually amazed at the wisdom God has given her and how much I miss out whenever I choose not to listen to her. It speaks of my own spiritual life -How much I miss out whenever I choose not to listen to God.

Dear God,
I'm continually thankful that you show me how much you care do for me - especially through my mother.. Thank you for my mother so much. She's shown me despite how much I disappoint or how difficult I can get, that she still chooses to love me. She's truly a treasure from You. Please watch over her each and everyday. You see her needs and her discouragements and yet I know that You're more than enough for her and will fulfill her every need. Thank You that she's a living example of Jesus to me. I pray that You will bless her so much.

My prayer song for today

Knees to the Earth
Words and Music by Christy Nockels and Nathan Nockels

Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior, my heart will know Your worth
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth

CHORUS:
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You, my Lord
Here I am

Beautiful Jesus, how may I bless Your heart
Knees to the earth I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus, You are my only worth
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

©2003 worshiptogether.com songs

Technology and friends

Every once in a while, I'm amazed with technology... If not for emails or msn and the like, A LOT of my friendships would be difficult to maintain..
Now that I'm back in the office, I have more time to be online and I find myself catching up with A LOT of my friends- ppl whom I've not heard from in ages.. Ppl from all corners of the world (namely Australia and Uzbekistan-Adeline, Dawn, Vern Li, Johann, etc).. It brings great joy to my heart - and sorrow too at times (more because some of my friends are going through really hard times).. But am blessed to be able to pray for them....
Truly, I think - thank God for placing me in this time of history.

Dear Father,
Please watch over my friends who may be far from You or need You. Please minister to them and guide them.

Song for the day

More Than A Friend
Written by Jeremy Riddle

In the quiet of my soul
In the stillness I hear Your voice call
And I am overwhelmed, and I am lost for words
To describe You

Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

My heart longs to worship, you my King
And I long to bring you a pleasing offering
And I am overwhelmed, and I am lost for words
To describe You

© 2002 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing (ASCAP)

while waiting..

Am waiting to go out for dinner with some dear friends to celebrate my graduation cos they couldn't make it.. In the meantime just thought to blog some thoughts..

1. Was quite weird being back in the office for the WHOLE day after three months.I'm so used to scrambling all my work into the 3 hours that I'm in the office. It just feels so- relaxing... I'm sure that there's heaps to do- but somehow I think I'll do it tomorrow (Hahah.. I can just remember Uncle Title's sermon on tomorrow ;) )

2. I had an exciting point in the day- the church has asked me to start considering what I would like to do- be it a pastor of a ministry and whether I would like to continue in my Bible school studies (place and ministry to be discussed with them)... AM just so excited about that!
At the same time, it IS early days... I feel that there's still things to accomplish here at my church and areas in my life where molding is still needed(I still feel that I should take some time and go for a few months mission trip making a decision)- perhaps all these will be realised in a year's time... God always seem to give me ample notice (Thank You for that!)... Will definitely have to pray hard about it.

Dear Father,
Thank you for new opportunites and new challenges. Where do You want me to go? What do You want me to do? Please show me.. You've said in Your word and through Ps Kindah that You would. I put my trust in You.

Post Tung Ling

A new day.. A new milestone today.
I woke up this morning - the same time that I've been waking up in the last three months- 6.30am.. I wanted to burrow a little deeper under my blanket and just not wake up and think - no Tung Ling today.. *sob*
But I remembered that my Best Friend Jesus was there beside me and it comforted me. I shared with Him what was in my heart and found solace.. It helped me to look forward to this day a little more. It helped me to look forward to what He has in store for me in the coming months and coming years a little more.
Going back to work at 9am in the morning and having staff devotions felt just a little weird-I guess that it's a matter of getting used to it again. One song stuck out - "what a friend we have in Jesus". For me, it was a little assurance from Jesus that He's there...

Yesterday
Finally renewed my passport yesterday. Surprisingly, it took only about an hour to queue and process everything. Praise God for that.
Went out to watch Madagascar with my friends from Tung Ling after that. It was followed by lunch at Chilli's and I really enjoyed myself. Fiona, Sally, Sue Min, Laura, Vivienne and her twin sisters, Andy, Ezra and his bro, Renz and Ewe Jin were all there. On the way to and back from mid valley - I had a great time of sharing in the car with Sue Min- we're pretty similar in our temperaments and it was great to have someone to share the 'lows' of post Tung Ling with someone who was going through the same thing. I seriously salute the others who seem to be taking it in stride.
But I realised that my Creator has made me this way. Even though it can be pretty much "a pain" at times, I'm continually learning to appreciate who He's made me to be - warts and all. Sue Ann, my prayer partner and precious peer-to-peer mentor said something along the lines that it's great that God has made me this way...

Sunday
Attended Rachel and Colt's wedding... It was quite a small one by Malaysian standards(about a hundred). Was privilleged to attend their small wedding ceremony.. It was very touching the whole way through.. Tears were just streaming from pretty much everyone's eyes throughout the whole ceremony - from the time Rachel walked down the aisle, followed by a time of beautiful worship singing (Ta Shing led in Enough, Blessed be Your name and Making a Difference), hearing about how they got together, the poem reading, the simple sermon by Colt's dad, the exchanging of vows by Rachel and Colt(they wrote their own and it was just so beautiful), Exchanging of rings, and prayer of release by their parents. It was ended by prayer for each other... The food was great.. loved the desert- had cendol and there was HUGE chocolate chip cookies and ice cream! (Ice cream always makes my day!)

Okies... That's it for now.. Have to get back to the pile of work that is beckoning at me.

Dear God,
Thank You so much for being a comfort and a great friend to me. Your being here when I so need blesses me more than words can say..

Graduation day and last day at TLS (Tung Ling Seminary)

A thought just came to my mind- it's just rather funny to see that:
The weekend before Tung Ling started: Eujin and Kuen Li's wedding
The weekend that Tung Ling ended: Colt and Rachel's wedding

That aside, was feeling rather "raw" yesterday. It was my last day at Tung Ling. There was lots of laughter, autograph signing, giving of presents and testimony. At the same time, it struck me rather hard that I was going to miss all my newly acquainted brothers and sisters in the Lord.
So the whole day, tears were just not too far away from my eyes...
Having Ezra around in the evening(He joined us at Cross Gen cos he's staying in the area this week) helped a lot... Ezra's like a little bro to me and he's rather entertaining at times..
(Hmmm-will perhaps write up on all my fellow ex-classmates next week).

On Thursday night, graduation was just so awesome..
We started with a time of worship - Ps Wah Lok was worship leading and I played the piano alongside with my fellow classmates (Vivienne on the keyboards, Andy on the electric guitar, Jan Sen on drums, Eiran on Bass and Fiona on guitar).
After worship, we had our graduation item(which went pretty well) , followed by presentation of graduation song (written by yours truly - it was really awesome to have the song sung by my fellow classmates) , a message, presentation of certificates(it was a wonderful surprise that I got distinction in class), a charge by Ps Wah Lok (you could just feel the presence of God so strongly when he read the charge) and prayer by the pastors (Uncle Daniel Yeoh prayed for me and it was just so awesome).. Throughout the night I could just feel that the bond between the classmates was just so strong.. Will really really really miss all my class mates *sigh*

Dear God,
I thank You so much for the many wonderful lessons I've learnt at Tung Ling and the many friends You've given me there. Will miss them so much. Thank You for providing for my every need and sending Ezra at the time when I was just feeling so raw to be a comfort to me.
Love You so much Jesus...

Graduation this Thursday

Graduation's this Thursday so am feeling slightly melancholy. :(
Having BBQ at Tung Ling house tonightin about 2 hrs time - it's now raining- so it'll be pretty interesting to see how it turns out.
Feel like I'm having a valley experience... Had an absolutely fantastic time over the weekend with all the Cross Gen Leaders at the retreat. Ps Brian's sharing and leadership training was absolutely fantastic. The fellowship was rather 'sweet' too... The ride with Sue Ann was great because we could pray for Cross Gen continually in the car.
Though I felt that I was a bit 'longish' in my sharing last Friday at Cross Gen, my first time at sharing from God's Word turned out pretty ok. Praise God for that! I was rather nervous when I first started out and became more confident as I went along. The title of my sharing was "Loving God's Word".

Dear God,
I'm really going to miss my Tung Ling friends and this great time of learning from You through the many wonderful lecturers. Please continually grant me a 'fear of You' so that I may have the wisdom to apply all that I've learnt in the pass 3 months. Thank You for the abundant blessing that You've showered on me these past months

He is working His ways in me...

Just realised that it's been AGES since I've last posted anything...
As usual, heaps have been happening. It's now the 10th week and the second last week of Tung Ling. I've started counting down and at times I feel a sense of melancholy that we're finishing soon. Will miss the great fellowship with my classmates..
It's definitely been one of the best growth period in my spiritual life. I feel that God has just spoken so clearly to me in so many areas of my life(I now have to really work at it!) and clarified a lot of things that was once a mystery to me. I sense that my relationship with Him have gone so much deeper than I've expected at this point of time in my life.

Some highlights of the past weeks are:

• FINALLY COMPLETED my song of 9 months. Just finished it today. Pastor Wah Lok's just been pushing me to finish it... Though I wrote it with the church in mind, he really wants to see it being used for our Tung Ling Graduation!
• Attended worship retreat at the beginning of this month... I really praise God that it was awesome - especially the high praise.. Jason and I were worship leading. We really want to give all glory to Him as He answered our prayers to refresh everyone at the worship retreat in His special way.
• Will be sharing my first "sermon" at Cross Gen (youth group and young adults) this Friday.. Am really nervous... It's quite an interesting at the same time. I didn't even dream that I'll be teaching from the pulpit EVER in my life. And yet, several ppl have confirmed that I have that gift - so I thought to take up the challenge and see where God leads me in this new area of my life.
• Poh Lyn and Paul's gone to Australia to work in the pass two weeks. Will miss the blessing of their friendship and presence.
• God has just been speaking into my life in so many ways... A lot of prayers have been answered at this milestone in my walk with Him. From prayers to provide food cos I was hungry to prayers for changes in my ministry and for certain people... I'm so excited as I've seen all that He has done in these three months.
• Have been reading about Watchman Nee. He was a great hero of faith in China. Though I've heard of him a couple of years ago in China, I've just picked up a biographical book on him a week ago.. What I've read about him and his lifestyle for Christ has just been really mind blowing and inspiring.
• Two lecturers that have impacted me greatly since week 5 is Rev Tony Tan and Ps Guek Ju. They're both from Singapore and there's just something about them that challenges me and inspires me to love God's Word more. Rev Tony's sharing about church history had really opened up my eyes to the sacrifices so many men and women of God had to make so that we can get our Bible as it is today. Ps Guek Ju's love for bible study and passion for Him has just been so inspiring (I think that it's absolutely fantastic that she's involve in both missions and worship-as both ministries are very close to my heart)

Dear God,

Just want to praise You so much and thank You more than words could say. I'm beginning to really understand how you are truly the "lover of my soul".. I love You more than words can say.. Your grace, mercy and love continually overwhelms me. You are my strength when in times of weakness. Bless the Lord O My soul!

Blessed

Time passes so quickly when you're having fun. Am in the the middle of Tung Ling with 5 more weeks to go.. Just this week we went through Song of Songs and Feasts of the Lord. It was rather interesting as I've not really gone through the book and the topic before.
Looking back, I've just been so blessed by the lecturers, our principal - Ng Wah Lok, our administrator - Chin Yee and my classmates.
Am definitely having a great time and will be sad when we finish our three months of learning. But as our lecturer says, "we should not only learn, but practice what we learn".
ANother prophecy was spoken over me yesterday and it was just really great. Was really encouraged and edified and was reassured once again that I'm walking in the centre of God's will.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for this time at Tung Ling. Thank you too for sustaining me each and everyday as there are times when it's been a strain and struggle to survive through the long day. Thank you for keeping me awake at the lectures so that I am able to learn so much more from you.

Life with Tung Ling in the picture

Time seems to pass by so quickly nowadays... There's the usual amount of work to be done at church... Plus now there's Tung Ling work too. Not that I'm complaining -in fact, I'm enjoying classes Tung Ling a lot. I wish that most people in the church will be able to take time off to attend the 3 month course too..
God has just been revealing so much in the past 5 weeks now. Everyday, it's as if the prescription of my spectacles changes and I see God a little clearer - in a way I've not seen Him before. Not only my view of God has changed, I have been challenged to be more practical in my faith too. I really love my classmates- they are so encouraging and open in their faith too- and we have lots of fun together.
This week we're learning on the anointing of the Holy Spirit... And our lecturer is Ps Kindah Greening from Gold Coast, Australia. Am looking forward to what he has to say on Spiritual Gifts tomorrow and Friday.
We're also expected to complete 10 modules as part of our assignment- have currently completed 5 and I have 5 more to go...
Things have eased up a little bit - now that Easter's over (thank God!).. Have been able to get a little bit more rest...
Have also decided to go to the gymn to do a little bit of exercise.. Just started this yesterday. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would've been..

My current day looks like this:
6.20am: Wake up, shower, get ready to go to Tung Ling
6.50am: Ewe Jin picks me up and we go over to Eiran's
7.30am: Tung Ling starts with prayer time
1.00pm: Lunch
2.30pm: Back in church for work
5.30pm: Finish work
5.30pm: Gym
7pm: Dinner
8pm onwards: Prayer meeting (Wednesday), complete modules/watch TV/study for test/the occasional going out with friends(rare though)/ sleep early, Cross Gen (Friday nights)

weekends are always full of meetings. *sigh*

Dear Father God,
AM so glad for the opportunity I have to learn more about You in Tung Ling. Continue to challenge me and mold me to be more like You- no matter how hard it may be at times.
Your grace, mercy and love strengthens me each day. Thanks Father.

Wow!

Easter's over and my rather hectic days are hopefully slowing down - though I don't see how - what with Tung Ling on Monday to Friday, worship leading this weekend and throw in leading devotions and prayer on Thursday and Friday too. :P
Soul Survivor's coming this Thursday and I'm really looking forward to hear what Mike Pilavachi has got to say!
The past few weeks have rather been a struggle as I've just been adjusting to going for Tung Ling Bible School in the mornings until 2pm and fitting my workload of 8 hours into 3 hours(And just coping with failing at that abysmally!).
Nevertheless, am really excited by what I've been learning at Tung Ling. Can just sense that God's just polishing me up in how I view Him and my walk with Him.
Just today was just blown away by the vision of how He sees me - never really saw it that way before. Am so glad that He's my Father.

Thank You Dad in Heaven for all You're doing. Just can't help falling more and more in love with You. I stand in silent awe.

A quick note

The past week has had it’s up and downs…
I’ve definitely learned some new lessons. I worship led on Sunday. Though I don’t know generally how most of the congregation found it, I know that it was my best and that my God was pleased with it.
It wasn’t an easy week for me as I’ve had my share of discouragements. Spiritual warfare was definitely going on. Many times during the week I had to just fight thoughts of unworthiness as well as “what on earth I’m doing”. My solitude time with Him definitely helped.