I wonder...

If someone is employed to do a certain job - to take care of a specific department, say technical department, is it then not the job of the employee to be responsible that the department runs smoothly? If one of the people who are under that person is late, or cannot make it, would it not be the responsibility of the person to find a replacement or do the job? Would it be fair of the person to ask someone else from another department to do the job instead - especially when they have other roles already? Also, would it be fair for that person to be doing another job that is unrelated to his job, say customer care, while he it is still his working hours? What would happen if this was true in the corporate world?

Now we take the same scenario to the church. While we say the church is not a company, would such a behaviour be any more acceptable - just because it is the church? One of my close friend cheekily loves to say that because of our tendency to pay peanuts in the church or in Christian organisation, we get monkeys. As much as I hate to agree with him, sometimes I think he is right. I'm especially frustrated when such people affect others in ministry in ways that are negative and are seemingly insensitive to others. *sigh

The criteria of a disciple of Christ

For our Mark class, I have chosen to do an exegesis on the verses below. I thought to do this text in view of Easter as well as some discussions I've been having with my college group bunch. As I do the study on the text, I find it rather sobering and there's much to ponder about - especially in the how much we have ignored certain things in this text in our view of what a follower of Christ should be. As suggested by my lecturer, have been doing quite a fair bit of reading on the scope of 'denying oneself' and 'taking up the cross'. What I've come across have been rather mind boggling and definitely soul changing as I personally continue to grapple with the implications this verse have upon myself as well. Will *try* to write more on this in the coming days.

Mark 8:34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

One Desire

If I could have one desire
Before my life is through
Even in my darkest night
My light would shine for You

If I could stop the hands of time
Or make a wish come true
I would tell my heart to burn with fire
For no one else but You
This is my one desire

You are my saving grace
The anchor of my soul
And in a world that's turned upside down
I want you to know..

You are my faithful friend
The one that I lean on
You always understand
With all that I am
I give You the deepest devotion I know
With all of my strength
I won't let You go
As I look to You above
I will give You all my love

By Lenny Leblanc

Loving our neighbours

Last night we had a speaker, Michael William from FES on Hinduism in CUG. I must say that he was pretty good and flexible (and patient!) in sharing with the college group people. One thing I really appreciate about the college group is that they really have a lot of questions to ask about a topic that they don't know - and they are not afraid to ask it... This means that in the course of teaching them, the facilitator has just got to be prepared for detours. *grin

I learnt a few new things from last nite. Most of all, I appreciated the speaker's caution at the end of the sharing. He gently cautioned the college group that while we learn about hinduism, it should not be a point for the group to get puffed up with the new knowledge and to criticize the people of other faiths. Rather, it should serve as a reminder for us to love others and to understand where they come from. It strongly brought to mind about a talk that we had on Islam in STM last year and the impact it had on my life thereafter.

Galatians 5:14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Come what may

If wishes came true, I would not have any practical for this weekend
If wishes came true, someone else would be leading worship
If wishes came true, there would be no exams
If wishes came true, my assignments would magically complete on its own
If wishes came true, I'd have more time to sleep

However...
I still have my practical for this whole weekend
I'm still worship leading (was also just called to worship lead next Sunday) :p
I have to sit for THREE exams this week
I still have all my assignments to complete
I will have lack of sleep until my Phuket trip in more than one week's time.

So in the meantime,though I'll keep on wishing
I'll also keep on going with all the things that needs to be done
And learn to not give up and trust in Him who is with me in this time come what may...

Nonsensical Thoughts

I'm not a feminist or anything.. but after reading a few blogs, I realise something -we need more women bloggers in the STM english dept (see lah.. this is what happens when your brain has been immerged for too long in assignments.. something goes loose somewhere).

Most of STM women who are blogging are all in the chinese dept. Unfortunately, I cannot read any chinese. It also seems that most of the chinese dept ppl have more interesting things to write about (perhaps it's because I can't read what they write). :p

*sigh*.. need to find a way to encourage my fellow sisters in the english dept to blog. First things first though, need to work on getting the library to extend their evening hours till midnite (or preferably the whole nite - especially during exam periods)....

You can tell that students are really into their assignments when...

.... we start using our assignment topics as analogies in our conversations. :p

*in reference to my conversation with Chee Keat about our Theology assignment. He advocated the assignment on the problem of evil because of the Christological definition of power (the humbleness of Christ, his willingness to be one with us) and how that ministered to him. I counterargued that different things works differently for different people and therefore each person can do different assignments (inadvertantly referring to my assignment on Trinity - unity of Person or unity of Persons)... Swee Lang was just laughing away at our momentary banter. And we went back to our assignments...

Important rather than the urgent

For these two weeks (until next Thursday evening at least), the world has to come to a standstill as I immerse myself in the world of assignments and exam preparations (not forgetting the usual weekend practical which I wish I could forgo for once. However, it can only be a wish as I have the responsibility of caring for the College Uni group in the absence of my supervisor as well as worship leading this Sunday).

I've just *finally* finished my thesis proposal early this morning and am now planning to throw myself at full speed into the 'cost of discipleship' in Mark and 'Trinitarian views of the east and west' till the end of the of this week. At the end of all that I'll have to simultaneously study for Hebrew, Pastoral Leadership and Mark exams. Not to mention the stack of reflections I have to do for Pastoral Counselling. I am strongly reminded at times like these how idiotical I can be when it comes to procrastination sometimes - and how I seem to "like" living on the edge. On hindsight, while I could have gotten *some* of it done earlier, I suppose that other things would not have permitted it otherwise as so many urgent things have unexpectedly cropped up in the last couple of weeks. *sigh*

In the midst of all these challenges, I find myself very tempted to let my quiet time slide - if not for the voice of one of the lecturers in my head about 'the essentialness of quiet time especially during these time for a bible school student.' Though she gently chided us about this a couple of semesters back, her voice seems to strongly resonate in my head during the times when I am about to reach for my pile of work instead of reaching for my bible. It's in this time that I learn again to practice the important rather than just the urgent. Needless to say, for now, blogging may be at a standstill until the assignments are over.

Psalm 92 - A psalm. A song. For the Sabbath day.

It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High,
2 to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,
3 to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.
4 For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
5 How great are your works, O LORD, how profound your thoughts!
6 The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand,
7 that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish,
they will be forever destroyed.
8 But you, O LORD, are exalted forever.
9 For surely your enemies, O LORD, surely your enemies will perish;
all evildoers will be scattered.
10 You have exalted my horn {10 Horn here symbolizes strength.} like that of a wild ox;
fine oils have been poured upon me.
11 My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries;
my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.
12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
15 proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

When it comes to assignments...

... I can so identify with this.

Demonstration of God's Power

God's greatest demonstration of power- His ability to change us.

Who's car is parked on the walkway?

hmmm.... Don't tell me it belongs to a lecturer...

Didn't know this...

Was doing one of my assignments when I found out that...

Petai = Parkia speciosa, stink bean, twisted cluster bean, yongchaak

hehehe.. while it's not exactly one of my favourite foods (I'll eat it when other people put it in front of me), it was an interesting fact to find out.. .

Just for a little laugh

End of Semester blues...

It's two more weeks(!!!) till the end of semester and there's a rather large pile of assignments to be done and exams to prepare for. I can't wait for 17th of May to arrive - then again, the break does not look to be much of a break as I head back to the church office for 3 weeks to sort out the pile of stuff that's pending. :p My new deacon in charge does get rather enthusiastic and wants to change many things at once - it makes my head spin sometimes. My supervisor pastor being out of commission due to a fractured leg means added responsibilities. *sigh. As one of my good friends can probably identify - there's always more to do. As Bill Watterson(creator of Calvin and Hobbes) says, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." How true.

It's back to the two assignments that I need complete by today. *sigh

Quote for the day

Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone. ~Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie, I'd Kill for a Cookie

Friends...

Have been going jogging(more like half walking, half jogging) with a couple of my friends yesterday and today. Hahaha. Don't know how long this will last, but I know it's definitely good for me - despite my aching legs. :p Vic Cern and Andrew have been great jogging companions. Despite the fact that Andrew can rather be a tyrant sometimes (he jabs me when I slow down or when he thinks I should go on - and even found a stick today to threaten me :p), the fact that I know that he and VC means well and that they are willing to slow down for my sake pushes me to push myself a little bit more.

I also enjoy our conversations as we talk about different stuff - sometimes nonsense, sometimes about mutual friends and sometimes about issues in ministry. Today, one of them pointed out something I said to someone and how I could have done it differently. I did not realise then that I sounded quite mean as I did not mean it that way. I really appreciated the correction. I am glad to have friends like them.

Tremble

Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There's something I've neglected
How does one approach a Deity with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

'Cause You came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it's easy to forget You left a throne
And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine and it's hard to know the difference

CHORUS
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I'd appear
Even slightly cavalier in the matter of salvation
Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take with such little hesitation?

'Cause you came and stood among the very least of us
And it's easy to forget you left a throne

BRIDGE
The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love
Oh let me forget to tremble...
Oh let me forget to tremble...

Conversation of the heart

Hi...
It's been a while..
It's funny but..
Until I heard Your voice again this evening
I didn't realise how much I really really really needed to hear from You

It has not been the best of times recently
And it's been really hard to look up
Pain, confusion, chaos, sadness, guilt, bewilderment, hurt, lostness
They have been my almost constant companion
I have almost forgotten what it's like to be without them
My head hung low

Good friends bring a measure of comfort
And I am very thankful for them
For I know they come from You
Without them, the grey world would be black as night

Yet, who can compare to You?
Your words bring peace like no other
Like a balm soothing a wound
Like a cooling breeze on a scorching day
Like the quenching of a deep thirst

If only for a moment, I was lifted up
Everything else seemed to matter no longer
Listening to Your voice became everything
And it restored hope to a desolate soul

My heart was thrilled, estatic, joyful, elated when I was reminded
How great You are
How You are the God who created the great stars of the universe
How small I am in the scale of things - almost insignificant really
And yet, I matter to You in ways that I still cannot comprehend - cannot understand
I am amazed - in awe
As Your love once again becomes so tangible
How I wish I could give You more
More than this brokeness that makes me who I am
I can only love You back in all my finiteness

Quote of St Augustine

*Came across this quote this evening when I was listening to Louie Giglio's sermon on "How Great is our God"

Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.

-St Augustine