Favourite quote for the day

"After this you guys don't have to studylah... Go back and watch tv." - The King (One of STM lecturers).

Lol.. I wish.. Relish the thought of not studying or doing my presentation.. May 3pm come really quickly tomorrow!

Keep On Keeping On - A Sermon on Nehemiah Ch 4

Author's note: I wrote this for my preaching assignment today. Thought to post it up to encourage my fellow students during this highly stressful time of exams and assignments. Some of my fellow students mentioned to me that the sermon spoke to them. I post this up with the hope that this will be a blessing to those going through tough times. I write this from my meditation and reflection on the passage over the past few weeks.
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1. Introduction
Many years ago, a friend from the ship Doulos gave me a bookmark with an interesting phrase. On it was written “Keep On Keeping On”. At the time, it was the motto of her and her friends on the ship. Life on the ship was uncertain and tough. This phrase reminded them to continually trust in the Lord and to keep on going no matter how difficult things got.

Today’s sermon is entitled Keep On Keeping On. As we come to chapter 4 of Nehemiah, we find that this phrase was also true of Nehemiah.

2. Problems faced by Nehemiah and the builders
2. 1 Opposition from the enemy
In Nehemiah chapter 3, we see how the building of the wall was distributed to different groups of people. In chapter 4, we begin to see the troubles faced by Nehemiah and the people in the building of the wall. What were some of these troubles? Let us turn to Nehemiah 4:1-3.

Nehemiah 4:1 When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, 2 and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, "What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble-- burned as they are?" 3 Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, "What they are building-- if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!"

As we can see from the passage, the first problem faced by Nehemiah and the Jews who were building the wall was opposition by Sanballat and Tobiah. In a sermon I once heard, a preacher said this “Opposition is caused by success and not by failure.” Think about it - opposition is caused by success and not by failure. This statement seems to be true as we read this passage. As the building of the wall was underway, Sanballat saw this got angry and downright furious.

The enemy began their opposition by using verbal insults. Sanballat ridiculed the people by asking them 5 questions. Each question was designed to make them doubt if they could ever complete the building of the wall. Tobiah on the other hand, added salt to the wound by mocking the soundness of the structure of the wall that they had built so far.

Later on, when their verbal attacks failed, the enemy planned to combine forces to physically attack them. Vs 8: “They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it.” Verse 11 reads: Also our enemies said, "Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work." Vs 7 tells us that the enemy consisted of Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the men of Ashdod. This is significant. Sanballat who was from Samaria, represented the enemy from the North; the Arabs, under the influence of Geshem were in the south; Tobiah and the Ammonites were in the east and the Ashdodites in the west.[1] Nehemiah and the people who were rebuilding the wall were surrounded by their enemies. More terrifying, the enemy was now threatening to fight and kill them.


2.2 Discouragement from within
In addition to the external opposition via verbal attack and the possibility of a physical attack, Nehemiah and the people of Judah were also faced with internal troubles.

As mentioned before, the people of Judah were surrounded by their enemies. The Jews who were staying near the enemy were afraid of the potential attack from the enemy. Vs 12: Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, "Wherever you turn, they will attack us." The Jews who were staying near the enemy reminded the people who were building the wall again and again of the potential attack. People around were saying they needed to escape – if they stayed in the city, they will be killed. They said it ‘again and again’. They were inadvertently spreading their fear to those who were building the wall. Imagine your greatest fear being repeated time and time again to you – especially by your family or your loved ones. Sooner or later, you too will definitely begin to feel terrified.

There is another internal trouble brewing. A song is being sung in vs 10 – a song in what is known as a ‘qinah’ metre - a funeral dirge.[2] It is a song of mourning and without hope. Vs 10: Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, "The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.”

The people were not only afraid. They had finished building half the height of the wall because they had worked with all their heart as stated in vs 6. They were now tired. They were also discouraged by the rubble they saw around them. They were giving up hope.

If you ask anyone who has climb mountains anywhere in the world. They will tell you that the most difficult part of the climb is not at the beginning and neither is it the end. It is not difficult at the beginning because of the excitement of beginning a new adventure. You have a new challenge before you. It’s not at the end where you can see the summit because it’s there you get your second wind. It’s as if an invisible hand carries you to the top. The most difficult time in scaling a mountain is not at the beginning and it’s not in the end. It’s somewhere where the two meet – it’s right in the middle. It’s in the middle when you’re tempted to give up. Your muscles are aching and your lungs are burning. You look down and you are able to see how far you’ve come. You look down and you say – is that all the distance that we’ve come? Then you look for the top and the top is not in view and you think – am I going to make it? At the beginning of the climb there is a sense of exhilaration and near the completion you can push through to the end. It’s in the middle that is the most difficult. It is the most difficult part because mentally you realize that you have to go forward as much as you’ve already accomplished.

Nehemiah and the people of Judah are here – they are no longer at the beginning, they are not near the end, they are now in the middle of the work. Not only they must clear the rubble that has there before the exile some 100 plus years ago, there are no bulldozers or modern equipment to help them. It is hard, back breaking work. It is little wonder that they are tired and discouraged. They are afraid. They are being mocked at. The enemy has verbally abused them and is now threatening to fight and kill them. They are in the middle of the mountain.

3. Nehemiah’s Solution
What would you have done if you were Nehemiah? If you were doing something that you believed God has called you to do and someone – your friend or even your family - begins to mock you, threaten to attack you and discourage you. You are already tired. What would you have done? Would you have given up? Would you have run away from the situation?

How many of us would have responded as Nehemiah did? He kept on keeping on. How did he persevere in the face of such troubles?

3.1 Perseverance through Prayer
Firstly, he ‘kept on keeping on’ by praying. In the face of verbal abuse and the threat of physical attack, Nehemiah did not react or yell back at the enemy. Vs 4-5 states that he turned to God and prayed. He brought his grievances before God. His response by praying even encouraged the people of Judah to the point of the wall being half built – a huge accomplishment. When the people of Judah were afraid in vs 14, he encouraged them to follow his example to ‘remember the Lord, who is great and awesome.’

How about us? How often do we involve God in our troubles? Do we take matters into our own hands and trust in our own feeble strength? Sarah Yap encouraged my pastoral group to trust in God and to seek Him before she left for the U.S. She said that it can be hard sometimes if you have many capabilities. However, if we want to keep on keeping on, we have to learn to pray more.

3.2 Perseverance through Action
Secondly, there are some situations that call us not just to pray, but to act at the same time. In the face of a physical attack from the enemy, Vs 9 says that the people of Judah not only prayed but posted a guard day and night to meet the threat.

When the people were getting discouraged and afraid, instead of being paralyzed with fear, running away from the situation or just merely praying, Nehemiah took action. Vs 13 says that Nehemiah stationed people behind the “lowest points of the wall at the exposed places by families, with swords, spears and bows.” In addition, Nehemiah encouraged the terrified people to fight for their families. Nehemiah could’ve said, “Let’s stop the work and wait for a better time to continue the building of the wall. Perhaps we’ll continue when we’re stronger.” Instead, he decided to “keep on keeping on” and take defensive measures.

There are times when we cannot just merely pray and sit around. There story of a man who went to the roof and prayed to God for help when the floods came. When rescuers by boat tried to help him, he declined their help said ‘It’s ok, go help the others. God will come rescue me.’ Eventually the man drowned. There are also times when we should not pray passively but act and pray just like Nehemiah. In the face of trouble, with discernment and wisdom from God, we should not only pray but act when the situation calls for it. Sometimes it is the way God answers our prayers.

Ending
In conclusion, I would like to show this short video clip from the movie “Facing the Giants”. The show is about a coach and his team struggling to win football matches. During one of the practices before a match which the team was expecting to lose, the coach decides to teach one of the students a lesson on “keep on keeping on”. This scene is one of my favourite parts of the show.




There are times when troubles come. Everything else around us seems tough. We think that we are only able to go a certain distance – our arms are aching, our lungs are burning - we feel that we cannot go any further. We are ready to give up. Just like the coach, God calls us to give our best. He calls us to not give up and to keep on going. Yes - the task before us may even be appointed by Him. However, He never promised us an easy path. He calls us to trust in Him. For it is only then that God can really work through us. He blindfolds us and tells us to keep on going. As we learn to do so, we’ll be amazed that we can keep on keeping on to the very end. As we do so, we learn to glorify Him....

Psalm 23 for students

I dedicate this to all my fellow seminarians as we attempt to survive through the pile of exams and assignments in the coming weeks:


The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk
He keeps me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leads me besides the coffee pot for a break;
He restores my faith in commentaries and leads me to better missionary methods, for my grade's sake.
Yes, tho’ I walk through the valley of borderline marks,
I will not have a nervous breakdown;
For Thou art with me;
My prayers and my friends they comfort me.

You give me the answers in moments of blankness;
You anointest my head with understanding,
My exam papers runneth over with questions I recognise.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me all the days of my examinations;
And I shall not have to dwell in this college forever!

Beautiful Saviour - Planet Shakers

Really like this song since I heard Jason played this song again yesterday during practice...

Jesus,Beautiful Saviour
God of all
Majesty
Risen king
Lamb of God
Holy and righteous
Blessed redeemer
Bright morning star

PRE-CHORUS
All the heavens shout Your praise
All creation bow to worship You

CHORUS
How wonderful
How beautiful
Name above every name
Exalted high
How wonderful
How beautiful
Jesus Your name
Name above every name
Jesus

BRIDGE
I will sing forever
Jesus I love You
Jesus I love You

The time has come...

Hmmm... Let's see... Doing 2-3 assignments at the same time, preparing for Church History mid-term exam, presentations to prepare for, preparing for worship this Sunday, have 3 meetings today(therefore, need to rush back to PJ after this too), less time to blog....
Yup - the dreaded part of semester has arrived... Time to work... :p

Gripe...

I've had an excellent weekend... Just came back from Sitiawan road trip over the weekend and Gentings on Friday. Have some food for thought and had a wonderful time with some of my girl friends... (will hopefully blog about it soon)..
However, as soon as I stepped onto my doorstep. I had a call from one of my bosses with more work to do - I hinted to him that I've just arrived home to no avail... Some people just don't understand the sanctity of the Sabbath... Had to do some conflict resolution which is soooo not working out *sigh*... Cannot understand why people are so thick headed! It's obviously back to the 'real world' again.

Pleasant surprise

My aussie big bro has been reading my blog the last couple of days (yes, it does warrant a blog post cos am so happy to hear from my bro!). Thanks bro for the 'Down At The Cross' song! Have been looking for it for absolutely ages...... A bit sad that won't be able to meet up with you this weekend.. There's no way that I can be at JB. :(

Completely

Just had a wonderful day of keeping the Sabbath today. Just feel like I am so totally rested after a long time of unrest - soul catching up with body. It felt a bit alien at first - being intentionally in not having plans for the day and to just rest, read the bible, pray and relax. My mind kept on going to all the things that I could be doing instead - doing some readings for assignments, doing church work and stuff. However, after a while just got used to it and it was just really really good- just to enjoy the moment and not allowing myself to feel guilty in resting as much as I need to. Even watched an inspirational show 'facing the giants' - about trusting the Lord, facing your fears and remember that with God nothing is impossible.

I really loved the song below from the show. Just really spoke to me as I learn to put aside time to rest in Him.



Completely
The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do, in all that I say
Right here in this moment

The power of prayer is in the humble cry
The power of change is in giving my life
And laying it down - down at Your feet
Right here in this moment

CHORUS
Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within me lift up to You and say,
"I am Yours and Yours alone
Completely"

This journey of life is a search for truth
This journey of faith is following You
Every step of the way through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment

CHORUS

CUG camp recap and reflection

Came back from a great time with the young people in my church earlier today. I even kidded with Ps Choon Meow while building a sandcastle with my group on Saturday morning that we should do this kind of thing more often - good break from the office. ;) [Pic - uncle CM was building a turtle while SY's our mascot mermaid. Our team won - we did an 'under the sea' theme. Kenneth and both Kevins built a really cool shark in the sand too].

It started out quite eventfully. Leon was supposed to come pick me up from STM and then I was supposed to take him out for dinner around in Seremban. However, as he approached the Senawang toll, something went wrong with his car (his timing belt broke) - despite him sending it for service just the day before. So we were around until 9-ish and poor uncle CM had to come get us. G and Josh and Beena had to send me to senawang to meet them (thanks guys!). Talk about more unwanted happenings -it was a rather crappy day for me already. Jason later on shared with me that he had quite a horrible day too- the poor guy was also rather sick when he got there and almost decided not to attend. I was glad that he did - I could get dinner with him and spend some time catching up while the rest played some games.

[Pic -Poon as Donatello in the sand]. In spite of how it began, it was an excellent camp. I had a great time bonding with the young people as well as Ps Choon Meow’s family. Jason, Leon and I were the only 3 young adults there- they dubbed us the overage youth *grimace*. I was glad to have the other two around - reminded me of the times we had when we all their age and the struggles that we've overcome since then. I was allocated to stay in the same apartment as them(Ps CM's family). I was reminded of my family in my younger days as I stayed with them. Sarah, the oldest reminded me of me when I was her age - how she has to be the big sister and watch over her siblings. Liz is so adorable - she's such and extrovert and tailing after everyone else. It was just so awesome to see her joining us in our praise and worship. We were singing 'Give us clean hands' and I was just touched to see her singing so earnestly especially the line 'let us not lift our souls to another'. Elijah was also so adorable - throughout the camp everyone wanted to hug him, carry him, play with him. *grin* He's definitely a younger version of uncle CM.

[Pic- Kenneth among the roses. He was just really really comfortable. ;)]
On the overall, I think that the group's definitely much closer after the camp. I was encouraged by the initiative and ownership taken by the young people. Through them, I see hope for the future of the church. Apart from the fun and games (there were heaps of those - dunno where they get the energy from. :p), we had some devotional time as well as praise and worship.

[Pic - Jin Wei wearing all our team tokens - my team was the one with the orange headband a.k.a Michaelangelo. The other teams were Rafael(red band), Leonardo(purple) and Donatello (blue plaits)]One of the young people also led a sharing - she challenged the rest of the group about how they viewed the church and their commitment to it. The song below summarized her challenge to the group. I think the song's pretty awesome. There was a time of prayer as well. Another committee member also challenged the group to reconcile with those that have hurt them - I saw one or two doing that (*sob* love these people so much - am so proud of them too!). One or two shared with me that they are beginning to see how they've always expected others to welcome them into the ministry and forget that they too make up the CUG and how they too need to make the effort to welcome others. Like I said, am just so proud of my young ppl.

PS: The food was really really good. It was definitely one of the best camp food that i've had - very home cooked style. One of the young ppl remarked that they found it remarkable that they didn't get thirsty after drinking the soup and it was not salty.

Dear God,
Thank You for the awesome time at camp and for what you're doing among our young people. I pray that you will watch over them and protect them from evil. They are so precious. Thank You for the blessing of being a part of their lives.

If We Are The Body

Casting Crowns - Live in Atlanta

3d Animation Version (Quite cool)


If We are the Body
By Casting Crowns

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying
Farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

CHORUS

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

CHORUS

Jesus is the way

Quote on Christian and Scripture

It is no exaggeration to say that without Scripture a Christian life is impossible. – John RW Stott. Understanding the Bible, 2001.

Sabbath prayer

Blessed art Thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who hast sanctified us by Thy commandments, and commanded us to kindle the Sabbath lights.

May the Sabbath-light which illumines our dwelling cause peace and happiness to shine in our home. Bless us, O God, on this holy Sabbath, and cause Thy divine glory to shine upon us. Enlighten our darkness and guide us and all mankind, Thy children, towards truth and eternal light. Amen.

- opening prayer of the traditional home service for Sabbath eve

Interesting signage

My Beloved Principal

So cute huh? :)

CUG Camp - FBI

In spite of what's happening right now in my life, I am absolutely looking forward to this weekend. Tonight, one of my church mates will be picking me up and we'll be leaving for PD around 8-ish. What's happening this weekend is that my church's College Uni Group will be having a camp at PD. Their theme is FBI (Fellowship, Bonding and Integration) - not surprising for a 4 month old ministry. The committee has told us to bring a lot of clothes :p.. Their plans are sooooooo obviouslaa. I jokingly told Jason (my friend and Worship Leader partner in church) that while the 'kids' are having fun, the young adults can go for 'teh tarik' (Eep! Sounding like one of the old foggies now :P)...

I was especially moved when a few of them asked me if I would be attending and that they were looking forward to talk to me in camp. I honestly must say that I am looking forward to spending the time with them as well. To me, being with the CUG group does not mean 'work'. To me, they're like younger bros and sisters that I'm so proud of. It's such a blessing to walk alongside with them.

I ask for your prayers at this time. Please pray for wisdom as I interact with them. Pray for opportunities that I can truly have good time of bonding with them and be a blessing to them. Pray too for safety and protection.

Guess who's sneakers??

Just thought that this was cute... Cos it was definitely not worn by one of the students. *cheeky grin*

Ps: I've had several ppl come and ask me if it's Dr Lim. I assure you. This pair of sneakers and feet belong to someone else... ;)

Overcast Friendship

Author's note: Thanks to Lan Yin for your listening ear this evening and for making me feel that someone else understands. I write this as I reflect on my conversation with you.

The sky overhead was cloudy and the wind blew around her as she walked around aimlessly. Her arms were wrapped around her as if to ward off the chill. She loved days like these - preferring it to the sultry hot weather. However, as she walked, she did not notice (as she usually did) how the huffing wind was trying to stir up the dried leaves from the floor nor paid any heed to the people who passed her by. Instead, she stared blankly ahead, her mind deeply lost in thought.

As the wind toyed with her hair, she thought of how things had changed over the last couple of months. A ghost of a smile graced her lips as she silently thanked God for what had been gained. The smile soon faded as she thought of what had been lost. It was as if she could not help herself - before she knew it or could stop it, her mind conjured images of him... Pain slowly seeped into her being. She hugged herself even tighter. 'Why bother remembering? Perhaps it is better to let things be.' However, it was as if a dam had burst in her mind - images after images flashed through her mind...

An image vividly played in her mind - she saw that it was the time when she used to be him and another friend - how they would laugh and joke and conspire with one another. It didn't seem to matter too much if other people would give them censuring looks or talk about them. What seemed to matter most was that the three of them were together. Once, when he and the other friend had to leave for a couple of days, she remembered feeling disconsolate without them around.

Another image flashed through her mind - this time it was of how she would sit and talk with him about all sorts of things. They would mostly reflect about life and how things were affecting them or about what they were learning. She sighed... Those days seemed like old black and white photos - precious but slowly fading.

That image faded as others that were filled with good memories took its place. 'Yet', she thought as she stared the ground, 'What use are those memories? They seem like a dream - once here but now gone.' A part of her still loves him - as a friend - as she always had. She still wished the best for him in spite of everything. Another part of her just wanted to move on and give up on him. The part that has been hurt by broken promises and by the fact he no longer seems to care the way he used to. The part that feels that he was merely using her through their friendship. She was she was afraid that part of her was slowly turning bitter if she did not decide soon - to let go of him completely or to hash things out with him.

Many times, she had tried to write to him or speak to him about how she felt - only to let despair overtake her when she couldn't write or when he didn't seem to see how she needed to talk to him. Eventually she gave up the attempts. She already felt so stupid. Where she once believed in him and defended him to others - she felt let her down by the promises that he broke. Better that he did not make any promises in the first place. Then perhaps it would not matter so much. She had made so many excuses for him in her mind that she had reached a point that she could no longer do so. To her, some parts of him had changed to a person she no longer knew.

Maybe it was just better for her to let him go. She saw how other people had become a priority in his life. She did not resent that - just hurt that she could be so easily discarded. Wasn't friendship about giving and taking? Didn't friendship had to be reciprocated? She felt like a fool for still wanting his friendship especially every once in a while when he deigned to speak to her. It was during those times that she gets a glimpse of the way their friendship once was and wished that things would get better.

What should she do? Was she just being irrational? She just didn't think that she could face him to be hurt again. She had enough brokeness to deal with....

A drop of rain fell on her forehead, breaking her out of her reverie. 'How apt..' she thought as she looked at the sky and ran for shelter....

Wonderful evening... reflection on words and actions...

It's been a long day. I really had a great time this evening though. I just came back from my dinner with my spiritual sister, Sue Ann. Had some vegetarian stuff at the Curve(don't laugh) - am still on the opinion that I STILL LOVE MEAT. However, for the sake of my beloved friend who loves veggies and healthy food, I gave up my love for meat during dinner (good training for mission trip I guess *grin*).

Anyways, the whole point of the dinner was to spend time with her. It was just good to hang out with her once again (reminded me of the times where we used to hang out a lot together before I went to STM). I think that if I have any regrets in coming to STM, it's that I have less time and opportunities to hang out with her and be a support to her. Therefore, any time spent with her is usually very meaningful as we take the opportunity to catch up with another and encourage each other.

Through her, I get a glimpse of what's happening in the marketplace and in return I share about my life in STM.

This evening, as I was talking to her and sharing with her about what God has been doing in my life, I came to a realisation. Words can be so cheap sometimes. As I recollect events that have happened, I realised that I have been at times swayed by words that may seem to be so right at the time. I was so convicted by them that I overlooked certain actions of the person. I forgot that action speaks louder than words.

As I look at my life now, I see how God has really directed my paths as I choose to trust in Him. I remember the time when I had to look beyond my fears and make a difficult choice. Should I take the path of familiarity and security or the path of obscureness and uncertainty? A part of me was afraid to leave the part of familiarity and yet deep down inside I was unhappy and my thoughts were very jumbled. On the other hand, when I stared the path of uncertainty, I was afraid that of what was ahead. I was afraid of being alone and getting lost. As I look back, I'm glad that God gave me the strength and faith to choose the uncertain path. I would not be where I am today otherwise.

Though I was alone for a while, He has provided excellent companions along that path as I continued in my journey. In particular, where one once swayed me with words (words that made me doubt my worth at times), I see another whose life and actions have been a great encouragement, example and a rebuke to me. Though this person's words may not necessarily be super affirming or even honeyed, the person's attitude, struggle and perseverance has really spoken to me. My life has been made richer because of this person. I am so thankful and blessed by this unexpected person.

Thank You God for spiritual sisters such as Sue Ann, through whom you always speak into my life. Thank You for friends who you have used to mould me, shape me and encourage me to be more like You through their life. Through them, I get a glimpses of You. I am continually thankful for the blessing of each and everyone of them.

Help Needed At YWCA

Anyone interested to help out at YWCA on Saturdays at 4.30-6pm?
I just received this appeal for help from the couple who's been doing some ministry there as their co-worker has dropped out due to pressure at work.

The details:
A young lady wanted to help out girls from Sarawak, Sabah, OA and Indians from marginalised groups.
Time and date: Saturdays at 4.30-6pm.

Please leave a comment if interested. Otherwise, please help to pass around the news. Thanks!

Family

Sometimes, though I feel that my family may not understand certain things that I do or may not see things my way, I am reminded time and time again that they are still my God-given family...

Mum used to say(and it used to exasperate me sometimes) that though we never chose our family members, God has his purpose in choosing them for us.. My family are definitely not made up of perfect people (I know I'm not - as my sis would point out to me much to my disgust from time to time) and there are times where we definitely drive each other nuts (on purpose or otherwise).. But as I interact with people around me, am beginning appreciate and see my mum's point more and more...

Thank you God for each of my family members...

Red Alert - hectic weekend ahead...

Looks like the weekend ahead will be one of the more hectic ones.. *groan* Wish I could split into several people...

Starting from this evening, I have one interview to conduct, application forms to fax out, Sunday worship stuff to prepare, have a quick dinner and then go for CUG meeting (which will be quite cool - tonite we'll be doing a session on abortion. We have a medical doctor, a psychologist and a pastor to cover the different aspects of the topic). When I get back, am going to have some 'family time' - have not seen much of my family in the past two weeks as they've been away. *sigh* They're going away again this weekend but am staying back tonite so they can catch up with me. At least my sis is back from Australia.. Missed her...

Tomorrow morning I'll have a meeting with pastor, an interview with a deacon, worship practice in the afternoon and an evening appointment with a friend. Am going to be so exhausted by the time I go home....

On Sunday I'll have church in the morning, an interview with an elder. This is followed by an important lunch appointment with a friend (have been waiting for more than a month to meet up). After that, if i have any energy left, will explore the possibility of going to PC fair with my bro.. Am thinking that I need to get a bigger memory card for my phone as well as my camera. Will also need to help some of my friends get some stuff...

Am so looking forward to Monday - we're having a staff trip to Pulau Ketam. Can't wait for that. Will be a nice touch to the end of my hectic weekend...

Will covet your prayers for strength through the weekend... I foresee one or two points where it'll get really draining...

My Readings...

In STM, we have required readings for almost all the classes. Occasionally, when I want a break from the 'intellectual stuff', I read some fictional stories... I generally love fiction not only because it's quite easy to follow, but it gives an insight to stories and situation from a different perspective and I learn a lot from them (hmmm - almost time to write another story on my blog soon)....

So far, since the beginning of this sem, I've finished reading the following:

1. 'As sure as the Dawn' by Francine Rivers-
This is the third book of Francine Rivers famous trilogy. The first two talked primarily of a Jewish girl, Hadassah who was taken out of her home to become a slave during the ancient Roman times. This particular book talks about the struggle of a retired gladiator from Germany in the Ancient Days of Rome. It tells the story about the journey of that gladiator in not only finding his place in society of that time - but his yearning to go back to his home country. In the end, though he finds his way home, but finds he doesn't fit there any more. Also, because of the living testimony of the people around him who journeyed with him to his home, he eventually accepts the Christian faith.

Personally, though some parts may seem surreal, I was moved by certain bits - like how Christians were struggling and working out their faith. It also gave me a glimpse of how being a Christian in those times must have been really difficult for them. Some of the chapters really moved me to bits - like the part where the Roman soldier died - yet he forgave his murderer and prayed that his murderer would find God....

2. 'A Man Called Dave' by Dave Pelzer
Inherited this book from Sarah. Quite an interesting book - talks about a man who grew up an abusive home... His mother never treated him as a human being but as an 'it'. She even stabbed him and did all sorts of horrible things to him. This book talks about his journey in overcoming his abusive childhood as well as how it affects his life and worldview. Some bits were quite inspiring.. As I said, it makes an interesting read...

3. 'Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire' by J.K. Rowling

Just finished reading this book yesterday afternoon (instead of sleeping).. Not going to say more about this since most have read this book...

Where Is Malaysia Heading?

Received this info in an email from a friend... Sent it out to some friends and am glad that I had some response saying that they were interested to attend to see what the talk is about....

Forum : 'Where is Malaysia heading?'
Date : 12 August 2007(Sunday)
Time : 7.30pm - 10.30pm
Venue : B2 Hall of Sin Chew Daily Building (19, Jalan Semangat, Petaling Jaya.)
Speakers : Dr. Farish A. Noor (Political scientist) AND Mr. Malik Imtiaz Sarwar (Lawyer)
Moderator: Bob Teoh (journalist)

If you have any query, please contact 03-79658593.


*************************************
THE SPEAKERS:
(1) Dr. Farish A. Noor - Dr. Farish A. Noor is a Malaysian political scientist, historian and human rights activist who has been researching the phenomenon of political Islam and transnational religio-political networks across the Indian Ocean . He used to write columns in the New Straits Times, Sin Chew Daily and Internet daily Malaysiakini. He is a researcher at the Zentrum Moderner Orient, Berlin, and one of the founders of the http://www.othermalaysia.org/ research site.

(2) Mr. Malik Imtiaz Sarwar - Mr Malik Imtiaz Sarwar is a prominent lawyer with primary practice experience in the areas of civil and commercial, constitutional and public interest litigation. His ideas on human rights were honed during his studies at the International Islamic University of Malaysia and his masters studies in international human rights at Oxford University in Britain . He is the Deputy President of Human Rights Society of Malaysia (HAKAM) .

THE MODERATOR: Mr. Bob Teoh - Mr. Bob Teoh has extensive experience in journalism. He is the Chief Editor of the English portal, Sin Chew -i.com.

Miracle Does Happen Sometimes...

This is living proof of Daniel coming on time to class for Malaysian Church History - had to call him the previous week 15 mins after class started at lecturer's request... Keep it up Daniel!

MIssion trip???!!!

It looks like my prayer for the end of the year mission trip is going to become a reality. Still feels like a dream to me though - I still cannot believe how easily my church leaders consented to let me go. I was expecting some objections from them (last year when I asked for permission to help out at TeenStreet- a youth camp that I really believe in, there was lots of hemming and hawing and it took them forever to decide - only to finally tell me 'no').

The missions organisation whose covering that I'll be going under says that there are several possibilities that are definitely open (previously it was quite uncertain). It looks like there'll be quite some preparations ahead.. applications to fill, newsletters to prepare, looking into prices of the flights, getting visa and stuff, researching about the country and culture of the place that I'll be going to.

It just seems rather surreal to me at this point of time. I've been wanting to go for a trip like this for most of my life and the door finally seems to be opening. A part of me is afraid and wonder what's going to lie ahead of me - I'll be away from home again for two months in a totally alien culture. I'll be away from friends and family that I love and far from all that is familiar (missing weddings of some close friends too :(, spending Christmas and my birthday away from home). A small part of me wonder if the trip is going to fall through due to whatever obstacle that lies ahead. Another part of me is just very excited - I hope to really be able to take this opportunity to widen my horizon and perspectives on God - to perhaps supplement my learning in STM. I hope to also work out my calling through this trip. Therefore I am at a point where I feel like I'm standing at a precipice - scared to jump and yet excited as well.

Am also reminded of my own sermon(that was miraculously prepared in 6 hours in the wee hours of the morning last nite) about trusting in the Lord and worrying. *sigh* It's definitely so much easier to preach it than to do it.

Take My Hand And Walk -The Kry

OH My GOODNESS!!! AM so estatically happy. Have been looking for this song by the Kry for more than 4 years! Finally thought of looking for it on youtube(thank God for Youtube)... I was so sore when I lost the files while moving back from Melbourne to Malaysia. :p Really love the lyrics.. It looks like it might come in handy for my sermon too (so double happiness!)... Now to look for the other song by them 'down at the cross' which is just as awesome..


Here goes: not exactly a video - just the song...


I know there are times your dreams turn to dust
You wonder as you cry why it has to hurt so much
Give Me all your sadness
Someday you will know the reason why
With a child-like heart simply put your hope in Me

Chorus:
Take My hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on Me alone
Don't you say ""why were the old days better?"
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take My hand and walk

Don't live in the past cause yesterday's gone
Wishing memories would last
You're afraid to carry on
You don't know what's comin'
But you know the one who holds tomorrow
"I will be your guide, take you through the night"
If you keep your eyes on Me

Take My hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on Me alone
Don't you say ""why were the old days better?"
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take my hand and walk where I lead
You will never be alone
Faith is to be sure of what you hope for
And the evidence of things unseen
So take My hand and walk

BRIDGE
Just like a child holding daddy's hand
Don't let go of mine
You know you can't stand on your own

Fasting lessons...

It's now the period of the NECF 40 days of fast and prayer. With much fear and trembling, I've decided to participate this year (The last time I did this two years ago, I ended up deciding to study in STM.. Hmm...). I probably would not have chosen to do it if not for the fact that there's a need for a few things in my life that needs to be sorted out at this point of time based on some choices made a couple of months ago (The possible mission trip at the end of the year is one of them. The other is rather personal.)

For me, so far the only side effects of fasting are forgetfulness(for some reason, I kept on leaving things in G's car) and low levels of energy in the afternoon (I missed the first hour of one of my favourite class because I was just so zonked out. Good thing I managed to make it for the last two hours of class and the lecturer was very understanding).

Fasting's rather difficult for me for several reasons. Like any true Malaysian, I love food - a LOT. Giving up food for most of the day is rather difficult especially when I think of all the lovely food that I could be eating. *sigh*.
Lesson #1: I find that I'm a whole lot more thankful for my food when I break my fast and appreciate every bite that I eat even more. I also find myself thinking more and more of those who have to do without food - to have a glimpse of how difficult it must be for them (I sometimes dread the evenings especially the time after my dinner cos it feels like a long time more before I have my next meal. As it is, it's already hard to choose to do without food. However, to not have a choice, that's a different ballgame altogether)...

Another struggle that I have with this fasting thing is I feel as if I'm losing out on my usual lunch fellowship with my close friends. Part of me really struggle with God about this. This conversation sorta took place:
" Do you love me?"
"You know I do Lord. But it's so difficult cos I want to spend time with my friends too... One of them will be graduating in a couple of months time and one of the few times I get to spend with him is during lunch time..."

"Do you love ME? Even more than you love them? Or have your love for them taken my place in your life?"
"I do love you Lord... But... Erm.... I guess it's a really close one sometimes. I guess I'll really have to sit work that out. *sigh*"

"Do you love me? Will you just spend a little more time with me just for this period of time? Cos I do want to have that time with you for just this period of time - I want you to rethink your priorities - do you make it a priority to be with me the way you make it a priority for you to spend time with your friends?"

Lesson #2: My time with God needs a lot of relooking at...

One afternoon, as I was doing some reflection and thinking about this fasting business, this thought came to mind.. "Obedience is better than sacrifice". It would somehow be more important for me to obey him and not fast than to fast and disobey Him. It was not the act of fasting that was really important - but rather the obeying Him that was more important..

Lesson #3: Sure, in this case, it's a sacrifice for me to fast but how about obeying God? To me, if I'm taking this fasting thing seriously, how important is obeying God in comparison? Hmmmm....

Eskimo Sighting in STM

Hahaha - am going to be so dead after posting this pic...

I've passed my driving test!

I've finally passed my driving test this morning!!! It was just a BIG relief especially after what happened last night... Was rather nervous throughout... The engine even died at the U-turn and I thought I was a goner for sure....

A big THANK YOU to God and to all my friends who have supported me, prayed for me and helped me through this milestone of my life.. :D

Unwanted evening adventure

Life is so ironic sometimes, I've been wondering what to blog about the whole day and I now find myself with lots to blog about - in a totally unexpected way... Most of the day went perfectly ok. I managed to wake up to go for chapel and managed to get some rest in between classes. My energy level was understandably quite low(due to lack of food) and I was a little out of it during the afternoon homiletic class - thankfully my comments were still coherent. After class, went out for a bit with Lee Yng, Lucy and David to buy his sports shoes and did a bit of shopping too. Then came back and had dinner with my two buddies - Josh and Gerrad. Did a bit of work for the special occasion sermon next week, then my unwanted adventure began.... Looks like I'm going to have a bit of explaining to do to Mr Chew(the student dean) tomorrow morning and the whole of STM is going to know about it... *SigH* Am still getting over the shock....

Basically Lucy and I went to practice driving for tomorrow's test... We went to practice at the route where the test was going to be held. During the second round, when I was on the way back, we sorta went off track (to cut short the route and to head back). It was quite dark and it was in one of those remote kampung places... I remember thinking that it would be just BAD if something were to happen and we were both stranded there - and it was a possibility as there are times when I seem to get into this kind of fixes... The next thing I knew, I drove us into this HUGE hole that we both didn't notice - it being dark and all (my mum will have lots to say about this when she finds out)... [Pic - guys checking out the hole and the tyre].

One tyre was stuck in the hole that was covered with this makeshift wood WITH NAILS(trust Malaysians to do stuff like that). The tyre very obviously started to puncture(I could hear the hissing sound)... My nightmare of a thought came true in a matter of minutes - Lucy and I stranded and alone in a dark kampung area next to a mamak shop with one lady who was of absolute no help to us at all.. :P

Lucy was absolutely fantastic - she tried got the jack out of the boot and tried to raise the car while I made called Pauline, Lee Yng and Gerrad for help. Gerrad said that he'd come and bring some guys along (I told him to bring 3). Thank God for mobile phones - especially ones with lights - it was very handy. The soil around the car was soft and because one of the tyres were in the hole it took a while for Lucy lift the car with the jack. Around this time, a Malay guy on a motor bike stopped to assist us - however, the three of us still could not get the car out. Gerrad and the guys arrived shortly after that. Instead of 3 guys, he brought SIX! Oh.. the humiliation... It was so embarassinglaa... However I was extremely grateful for the 'stm rescue team' that consisted of Gerrad and Joshua (of course), Jacob, Charles, Rod(to show the way) AND Billy.. [pic - everyone chipping in]

In a short time, the guys managed to pull the car out (G kept on telling me that there was no way 3 guys could've pulled the car out of the hole.. :P) AND change the punctured tyre. I was really really REALLY grateful for their help - now I know how it feels like to be a 'damsel in distress' with the calvary along to help (in this case 6 knights in two cars - one wira and one iswara. *cheeky grin*). [Pic - Joshua changing the tyre]

In the end, 3 cars came back at 11.15 and as I said, I'll have some explaining to do to Mr Chew tomorrow(about why we came back after our 11pm curfew)... *sighhh.. Half wanted to cry earlier too - sometimes it just sucks to be a girl and be 'emo' over stuff like this. :p Thank God for a friend's weird sense of imagination(he thought I climbed up a tree and got stuck or something like that) and humor who helped to subside the need to cry.. I also half wanted to pummel him for laughing at my predicament. :p

Thankfully, the shock is finally fading and fatigue is slowly overtaking me now(blogging can be rather therepeutic i guess)... Tomorrow will be having driving test... Hope that I will be up to it - good thing the ride home was quite smooth in spite of all that happened - otherwise I'd be even more traumatised.. :p

Thank You God for your protection. Your angels must've been really working overtime tonite. :D

PS: Started participating in the NECF prayer and fast today as well. Hmmm... I wonder if there was a connection somehow. :p

ONE ROCK CONCERT

Just received this in my email... If you're a young person and love music, I highly recommend this and fully support the organiser of this event in trying to create a place where youths in the Klang Valley can go and enjoy good clean rock music...

Last nite's Pastorate Groups BBQ

Had a combine pastoral group BBQ with Kar Yong's group yesterday evening before the prayer meeting. It was totally good fun - tiring, but good fun.... Liz and I did lots of preparation and put in lots of work into it (time to start putting the same kind of effort into my assignments.. :p) and was just absolutely glad that everyone seemed to have a great time.. After that, due to water disruption, we headed back to the hall where we finished cleaning up. It was an a rather interesting moment cos KY joined Dan and I and a few others in the washing up which sort of was interesting cos as far as I know, he's the first lecturer who has done so (pic). *grin* Great way to journey with us students. For those interested, see here to read it from Kar Yong's funny(as in ha-ha funny) perspective. It's definitely worth reading. :D

Prayer meet group

A few girls and I meet up once a week to pray together. Trust me when I say that we don't meet up because we are very spiritual people.

We meet up because each of us have much to learn - and that learning together helps make the road a little smoother.. We meet up because all of us know that we are people who are weak and broken - and that we not only need each other, but God in our lives... We meet up because realise how much support we need from others and how we cannot stand alone in our journeys- even right here in the seminary. We meet up out of love for one another and our desire to support one another...

This evening was one of the most memorable prayer meet that we've had. We sort of had a 'Job and his friends' moment (the bit before his friends started talking) as a friend shared her hurt. At that point of time, I really wished that I could bear the pain for her instead. We gathered around her and just shared the moment. After a while, the pain turned into joy as we could laugh over Rev Tan interrupting the prayer meet (It was rather late to be in the mini chapel I guess- 12pm.. He must've been wondering what Lucy was doing in her night clothes in the chapel as she went to unlock the door until he saw the rest of us... LOL.. )...

Later on, one of them told me another rather shocking news. I pray that it will not turn out to be anything serious. I realise again how much I've come to love my girl friends and treasure each one of them and how much I'd lay down my life for each one of them. Their continual honesty and friendship has allowed me to be truly myself with them. I am so blessed and am spurred on when I see how they want to be a blessing to others in the community of STM despite the pressures and the hardships that each of them face. Thank You God for the blessing of each of them.

Driving test

Am finally taking my driving test tomorrow. Am a bit nervous at this point. However, I was quite encouraged by my friends (barring one or two comments made in jest) who were quite supportive.

On the way back from shopping as we were nearing STM, Gerrad stopped the car and suddenly got out. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the driver's seat. I was a bit surprised but grateful that he friends trusted me to be in the drivers seat. His trust really helped to boost my confidence.

When I got back, my girl friends were waiting for me. It was their turn to go out with me as I drove. One of my girlfriends, Pauline, lent her car and the other three followed. Lan Yin kept on saying 'pls take care of my mother' in cantonese at the beginning of the journey and I could hear her sighing at the back of me. She was really cute.. Lee Yng and Lucy were very supportive and calmly gave me instructions and made me practice all the stuff they thought I should know. All in all, I must say that the ride was quite smooth.

Even the STM guard was quite supportive - he didn't take down our names when I drove past the gate a couple of minutes after 11pm... He knew earlier when I was driving Gerrad's car that I was practicing.

It's at times like these that I realise again how blessed I am. I am really blessed with wonderful and supportive friends - a priceless gift from God. The girls say they are going to get their pastoral groups to pray for me tomorrow as I take my test. Also, some of the guys said they were praying for me as I bumped into them in STM.

Thank You God for your evident love through them. I am amazed by You.

PS: Went out with the Gerrad, Josh and Beena for dinner. Took them to a 'hongkie' place and it was a first time experience for all three of them. They apparently liked the food. *grin*

Causes of lagging...

Have been a tad lagging in posting up stuff this week. I must confess that I have been rather distracted - namely by two particular TV series that I've been watching(season 2 of Criminal Minds and season 7 of Gilmore Girls). Thus far, my priority for this week are classes, church work, friendships, finishing up TV series and getting books for my assignments. Should finish watching both series by next week then can start getting serious on my work as well as post up more stuff...
Next series coming up that I'm looking forward to - Monk season 6. The season's premiere should be on this Saturday... Yay!

CUG, "Will You Grab Me?", Families...

Had a pretty good weekend this week. Had a pretty interesting Friday afternoon followed by a pretty good Friday night session at College Uni Group. I think I'm falling in love more and more... with the young people in the college uni group in church. ;) I supposed that outsiders might look at them and point out the flaws in them - but I see that there's a lot of potential in them. I pray that as I journey with them, I'll be able to be a good older sister to them.

As I interact with them, I realise again and again how much they need to be equipped to face the challenges of life rather than just sheltering them. I find that many times they are crying out to know how to deal with situations that they come up with. They are also crying out for more adults to be more involved and interested in them - I suppose that this might be a natural cry as many of them already have parents who are both working and this perhaps lead to wanting more visible concern from the adults (both young and old) in the church. I can really see how they appreciate whenever and adult comes over to the fellowship and just talk with them.

On Saturday, during the last 10 mins of Worship Ministry prayer meet where I encouraged the members of the worship ministry to grab someone and to pray and minister to one another, one of the young people ask me "Will you please grab me?" That question really tugged a part of my heart. I was glad just to be able to pray for her as well as talk with her. As my young friend prayed for me, I realised this - the young people in the church really need more interaction with the older ones in the church. I think it's just sad how individuals are so concerned with their own issues that they fail to see the needs of the young people - the very people that need them. I'm not saying that the older ones have to 'rescue' them. I think they just need to make a little effort to talk and get to know the young people.

Praying for this girl reminded me of the tough times I faced during my teenage years. I remembered how much it meant to me to have some of the uncles and aunties, older brothers and sisters in church just talk to me and made me feel as if they were really part of my family - my family in Christ. Many times, when things got really tough at home and I couldn't share my struggles with anyone, I remembered how much it meant for me to have the young adults talk to me and be my friend during those days - people like gramps' age group and slightly older. The fact that they were just there helped - even though they didn't know the struggles that I was going through. I looked forward to the weekends and considered the church my second home - a place where I could find a short respite from the battering of the week - because of the comfort God brought through such people.

Speaking of uncles and aunties, my oldest maternal uncle and his family came over for a brief visit on the way back to Australia from the UK over the weekend. It was absolutely wonderful to spend time with them - I realised how much I missed being with them - I used to live with them in Melbourne for 3 years. *sigh*. Families can drive a person crazy at times but it's times like these that I remember that they are truly a precious gift from God.

Celebrating the Hymns of Charles Wesley

This will be a short post cos I'll be going out for a movie soon(Yay!!!). This morning in chapel, we sang hymns written by Charles Wesley. It instilled in me a further appreciation for both the hymns writer and the hymns that he wrote especially the bit about how he wrote solid theology in his hymns...

Over the past few years, a few of my friends have been encouraging me to write songs. One of them is Ps Wah Lok - he's been a great encourager to me in this area. The last song I wrote is now about 2 years old. Perhaps it's time to attempt to start writing again...

Any suggestions or help are welcomed at this stage. :)

I'll cling to the promise that You're not through with me yet

Had a conversation this morning that struck something in my memory...


I was reminded again of a time when darkness perpetually surrounded me
Though it was day, the sun never shone
My world was bleak and so very cold
My heart was wrapped with pain
Tears were never far from my eyes
My mouth would cry out in silent agony
My mind was plagued by thoughts that unceasingly tormented
I sought and sought but my soul could not find peace

All of life seems to be pointless
All that once made sense now seems to lose its meaning
All the things that once brought joy now brought unspeakable despondency
If not for a tiny ray of light - so weak that it was almost snuffed out
Perhaps I would not be here today...

On a day like this when I remember
A shadow of the past seems to touch me
A glimpse of the pain and darkness comes back
But I am reminded that He has indeed brought me out of that darkness
That though the road to recovery was painful
And I am now covered by scars
I am now where I am by His grace
And I am thankful, so very thankful...
Again I am amazed at His love towards me
I stand in awe and wonder...

As I reminisce, the song "If You Want Me To" resonates within me and gives me hope
It describes where I once was and where I now am
"I'll cling to the promise that You're not through with me yet"

*********************************
Authors' note: If you can identify with I've written above, I would like to encourage you to seek help. There's no way that you can get out of it alone. Do it while the light of hope is still there, no matter how tiny and weak it is.
If you know of people who are in such situation, do walk alongside them and get help for them. Never leave them alone or it may be too late.

If You Want Me To...

If You Want Me To
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason
Why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will walk through the valley
If You want me to

Reflection on Pastorate Group outing to Malacca

The main highlight of the trip for me was this morning devotions with the pastorate group. I think it was one of the most meaningful times that we as a pastorate group had together. Sarah shared about her life and the challenges ahead her as she chooses to have faith in God in the coming 6 months. The main thing that she challenged the whole group was to trust and obey God (especially in view of how easy it is to go our own way when we are capable people rather than to really trust and obey God). She shared that trusting in God can be quite scary - even for her - just like taking that first step out of the boat. Many times, we'd rather just run away and rely on our strength. I find this to be so true even for myself.


In view of one of my previous post about a seminarian's cry, I was quite moved by Sarah's sharing. I appreciated the fact that she shared her fears and her struggles with us. Of course she’s not perfect(most of us would know her weaknesses - she herself tends to 'publicize' it too sometimes) but I see (and I think the others do too as well) how much she cares for us and is concerned for our welfare as she sees us struggling in seminary. She even shared about how each of us has taught her about God and has been an encouragement to her – this showed me that perhaps she has been watching closely over us more than I previously realized. She furthermore encouraged us to keep watch over our prayer life and to continue to really trust and obey God – in spite of how our studies or work load might distract us. I could see that most of us in the group were really ministered to. It reminded us that this is an area of our life that we need to continually work on and be mindful not neglect for the rest of semester.

Her sharing spoke into two areas of my life – one of them is to continue to seek God despite my many capabilities. Lately, I do notice that it can be so easy for me to make my own decisions and to do things my own way rather than God’s. This is especially true as I learn more about myself – in what I’m capable of doing and what I’m not capable of doing. It’s so easy to just lean on my own capabilities and not consult God at all.

I’ve also been contemplating a trip to the Middle East at the end of the year. There are times I wonder if I’m really pushing it. A part of me has been wanting to go for a trip of this nature for a really long time (more than 15 years now?? -since I first heard my role model George Verwer speak). I wonder sometimes if my desire is blinding me to everything else?? Another part of me is afraid of what’s ahead if God does finally say ‘go’. Finance is probably the biggest issue (It’ll cost at least around RM10k to go and I have no where near that amount in my bank account). Out of all this, I hear His still small voice saying ‘Do you trust me? Will you continue to obey me? Will you do these even if things don’t turn out the way you expect them to?’. One would think that it’d be easier to say ‘yes, Lord’ after all these years – after all I faced the same question when I went to Australia, when I came back to Malaysia after that, when I left the job that I really enjoyed in KL to work in church, when I came to study at STM. Somehow, it doesn’t really get easier. It’s still difficult to say "Let Your will be done…."

Lastly, I appreciated the fact that though Sarah was really pressed for time (she apparently had an anxiety attack because she was concerned that she would not be able to finish her packing in time), she really made the effort to show up and make this trip happen. I really admire the way she made to be involved in the trip with us, pulling all of us together to do stuff together (instead of doing things individually). I know how difficult this can be.

Through her short time with us, I’ve learnt more than I expected to from Sarah. I do sincerely hope to see more experiences like these between lecturers and students taking place.

Trip to Malacca with Pastorate Group

I was just warring with myself - to blog about my pastorate group(STM small group) outing or to watch a movie on dvd that I've been having for some time now (looks like Greg Kinnear and Hugh Jackman's just got to wait. Maybe I'll just watch it after this if I'm not too tired). Blogging obviously won out.

I went to Malacca with my pastorate group yesterday afternoon and came back this afternoon.

I must say that overall it was a pretty good trip ... We ate lots of food, stayed at a pretty nice place (one of our lecturer family's home - it was really nice of her to let us stay), went for a spot of sightseeing and shopping.

We went to the Portuguese Settlement last nite and had dinner(comprised mainly of seafood) there. I'm generally not too fond of seafood, but I must say that the food there was not too bad. The baked fish, one of their specialties, was pretty good. I really liked the squid fritters too. After that, we went to Jonker's walk and just did a spot of sightseeing there. I'm not much of a shopper, but I loved the quaint shops along the street and I must say that they had some pretty interesting knick-knacks. I especially loved the old paintings of scenes that they had of Malacca - seriously regretted not buying one or two to place in my room at STM (the price was pretty reasonable too). Maybe next time. Anyways, I bought the guys a bamboo thingo that flies. It was one of the interesting knick knacks that Jacob and I spotted as we walked around. Some of my friends are having a bit of fun with it. *grin* On the way back to the place that we were staying, Jacob asked if we could stop to buy some durian. It was a pity that I'm still having my cough - or I'd join them. Apparently the durian was very good. I was very tired and slept early (I think it was around 11pm).

This morning, we had some pineapple tarts for breakfast that Sarah (my pastorate group lecturer and friend) bought from Jonker's Walk the night before. This was followed by a good time of group devotion led by her. We had a good time of prayer for one another then it was time to pack. Jacob showed us the way for Malacca's famous chicken rice balls. We had another walk to Jonker's street and this time we visited the day time shops. I particularly loved the shop with the T-shirts. They had some unique Malaysian designs. A pity I didn't bring more money with me. I loved the shop with the necklaces. Like I said, I'm actually not much of a shopper. I generally only enjoy shopping for books and shopping for 'tech' stuff. However, one of my weakness is that I love shopping for accessories... There was a shop that had lovely necklaces and bracelets for very reasonable prices. I was so estatic! *grin*

We went for some cendol after that. I tried durian cendol for the first time in my life and it was absolutely heavenly! Li Sze and I really loved our durian cendols. The rest enjoyed the normal cendol too. It was an absolutely hot day and we were longing for something cooling by then so the cendols really hit the right spot. It was almost time to head back to Seremban after our cendol consumption - but before that, we went to the new shopping complex in Malacca and did a spot of shopping. The prices there were seriously reasonable as there was a sale going on. I'm now officially broke for the rest of this week. :p Li Sze and I are planning to go back one of these weeks to finish up our shopping - maybe in two weeks time. That way I can go back to get one or two stuff that I really wanted to get. *grin*

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On a funny note, one of the trip's highlight was watching Jacob eat. That boy can seriously eat - as we walked along Jonker's walk, he would stop and try out stuff at every few shops. I even took a photo of him eating. I seriously do not know where all his food goes to. :p