My Oreos... where are you?

My dog Oreos has gone missing. Wonder where he went and if he found his way home. I must confess that I don't spend a lot of time with him - but I miss him when he's gone. He has this *look* that gets people talking to him. Still remember the day I brought him home with his two brothers. *sigh*

Dear God,
Please bring him home and keep him safe. Don't usually take him out cos he doesn't really like to go out without Patches. I think he's lost. Please let him be at home when I get back.

Worship

Was assisting Uncle Lawrence in worship leading on Sunday. All I can say right now is - praise God for all He's done in the worship. Many people came and said that the worship was good. I'd like to think that many were ushered into His presence - not because of anything I've done.
I must admit that I came to the point where I told the Lord: "I'm just your weak child: Not feeling perfect or confident now. But I leave it all to You". I came to a point where it reallly didn't matter what others were thinking. To be honest, I wasn't even listening to the musicians to hear if they were making a mistake(ok- I admit- I usually do that). I just chose to worship Him - fully concious of my weaknesses and humbled by Him and His love for me.
As always, worship leading is always difficult for me. Am always concious of the responsibility to be holy. My family especially will be the first to say - "Ruth - holy??. Yeah righhhtt."
And somehow, something always happens beforehand. Really learnt the meaning of dying to self and seriously, it's quite a painful experience. Then again I did say that prayer last week in my blog, didn't I? =P

Dear God,
Thank You for Your spirit's work in my life. The refining fire is really painful and humbling in the past week. I pray that You will continue to refine me anyways so that I may be used greater for Your glory. Grant me wisdom in my relationships with my family and those closest to me - to rebuke in love where there is a need and to show heaps of grace too which I know I can be sorely lacking of.

Once Again

Every now and then I get sorta this wake up call - a heightened awareness of my calling and who I am in Christ - and it usually lingers for quite a while. Last night was one of those times. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I attended DA Carson's talk last night.
He gave a sobering message. (Will blog it tomorrow as I forgot to bring my notebook)

A few things that sticks in my head:
1. A Christian's life is a transformed life. The word of God is living and active. It changes life. If I confess to be a christian, my life should never be the same again. If our life remains unchange, then we are not Christians - because if Christ lives in us transformation should and would happen.
2. We MUST reevaluate what we are doing and treasuring now. Is it going to count in 2 billion years time? If not, we're investing our time and ourselves wrongly.
3. Am I willing to die for my Lord Jesus Christ- be it to self or physically? How much do I treasure my life? And though the choice is hard to make: "Yes Lord, I'm willing."
Why? - He is my Creator. I owe Him everything. Matthew 10:28 "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
4. The undiluted/uncut wrath of God is absolutely horrific. Therefore I should love righteousnes and NOT despise it.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your Word again last night. I pray that You will transform me. May I never be the person I was. Change me - no matter how hard the process - and I know that it will be hard and painful. Help me as I decide each day to die to myself. It's not easy and the evil one will not be pleased. But I know that Your grace will be sufficient for me each time I fall. Thank You for dying for me. I am Blessed.

Amazed

Current listening: 'Amazed' and 'Rescue' by desperation band

I just feel like weeping.
I want to weep for the worship ministry. Just have this burden that God will be sovereign over each and every one in the ministry.
I want to weep for my family. I pray that there will be breakthroughs.
I want to weep in wonder and joy of the things He has placed in my heart. Both the songs just really speaks to me at the moment

From Amazed
"Lord I’m amazed by You!
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me"

From Rescued
You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me


Dear God,
Thank You for the beautiful and wonderful teaching that You have spoken through DA Carson. Lord, my soul hungers and yearns for You.
This world indeed has nothing for me compare to You. I'm so amazed by You and Your love for me. It surrounds me.
As I see Your beauty, I repent of my sins.
I pray that You will come and dwell in the hearts of the people in my church and be sovereign. Work in us. May Your glory fall in our church and Your revival sweep through this place once again. Mould us and refine us - no matter how painful it will be.
Change us so that the world may see that You ARE the Ever Living God. May many come to know You for who You are.
My soul blesses Your name.

Ruth

Revelations 13 by DA Carson

REVELATIONS 13 – (Tuesday 21/9/04)
This message was really deep and at the same time sobering and full of warnings (especially of the second beast)

This passage is about the dragon giving authority to the beast of the sea.
The second beast is from the earth and serves the first beast.
The sea in ancient times symbolizes evil – confusion and chaos.
The dragon, the beast of the sea and beast of the earth is like an evil Trinity to take the place of God.

The first beast – beast of the sea
Vs 1: “The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion”: All the animals refers to previous kingdoms that is evil. This beast is a combination of all.
Vs 3: “One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed”. – this means that the beast dies again and again but comes out again and again in Anti-Christ. Each time one dies, another one will rise.
Vs 3b: “The whole world was astonished and followed the beast” – because the evil is so great as the authority is given by the dragon, people will give up and say in resignation “there will always be evil”.

The second beast – beast of the earth
Vs 11: “He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon” – this beast is full of deception. The “two horns like a lamb” means that it looks harmless but his words were of the dragon. In ancient Israel, the earth was something stable and therefore safe.

Vs 12: “He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed”. The second beast clearly serves the first beast.

Vs 13 – 15 ‘And he performed great and miraculous signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth in full view of men. Because of the signs he was given power to do on behalf of the first beast, he deceived the inhabitants of the earth. He ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. He was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that it could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed.” This beast has great power and is a great deceiver.

This second beast = false prophets and their teachings. We have to remember it is so subtle and it is a great deceiver!

Carson told the story of how he was preaching and naming the rebirthing technique as a deception.
Rebirthing technique is adopted by psychologists and some Christian counselors to help people who have been abused/sodomised when they were young. They were to close their eyes and picture themselves as babies. And they had to picture themselves coming out of their mother’s womb and that Jesus received them when they came out and wiped the ‘muck’ out. And Jesus would cuddle and love them. Many of them would realize that Jesus was there from their birth and would cry and receive healing.
A missionary couple invited Carson for dinner and refuted the statement as they were healed through the rebirthing technique. Carson asked them two questions.
1. “If someone were to explain to the missionary the passage in Ephesians about how wide and deep the love of Christ, could the missionary be healed too?” To which the missionary replied after thinking deeply, “Yes, but it doesn’t refute the rebirthing technique.”
2. Carson’s second question was “If someone went through the same abuse, would you tell them about the imaginary Jesus of the rebirthing technique OR about the true Jesus of the bible?”. That was the subtlety of the second beast. You may go about 5 degrees off from the truth.. But as you tell more and more about it, your 5 degrees will leave you a VERY big gap from the path of truth.


Vs 16-18: “He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.” There are many interpretation of the mark of the beast. Carson admits that he does not know who is the beast but also suggests that perhaps we are better off not knowing. The point of this part is this : we will receive either the mark of the beast or the mark of the lamb and will face the wrath of the other! Remember that if we receive the mark of the beast- we will face the wrath of the Lamb.

AM therefore very excited to find out tonight more about the seal of the Lamb.

Revelations 12 - by DA CARSON

REVELATIONS 12 - (Monday 20/9/04)
This passage is about the woman and the red dragon.
The woman refers to the church and God’s chose people.
The red dragon is Satan.
Carson explained too that the ‘1260’ days = ‘a time, times and half a times’ = ‘3 and a half years’ and is a period of great suffering.

Summary: Satan is a defeated foe. He’s really angry and is coming after the church and wants to drag people down to the abyss with him.

How can we overcome Satan:
1. The blood of the lamb: We must remember that Satan cannot be fought by our own strength. ONLY by the blood of the lamb we are justified and there is victory.
2. Testimonies of the saints: We must always testify about His love then many will come to know of God and His goodness.
3. We must be willing to die: We must be willing to give up our very lives for Him. Each year, 160,000 Christians are martyred for Christ for the past year. Of course, not ALL are called to die for the cause. But ALL are called to die to self – our desires and areas where we are higher than Christ.

Cool analogies:
1. Revelations is a book of imagery because we have never experienced the Great Throne Room of God. It’s like us trying to explain electricity to some remote jungle trible in Papua New Guinea and it goes like this “Electricity is like a supernatural spirit that goes through the vines. You attach those vines in your house and hang it from your roof. You will be able to get a small sun shining at night”. Just as the ppl of Papua New Guinea are limited in their knowledge in electricity, we too are limited of our knowledge of the throne room of God because we have never seen it.
2. When Carson’s son was 3, Carson asked him, “where did you get your beautiful blue eyes from?”. The son answered promptly “From God”. As the son is now older, the son would probably answer “Genetics in the family.” Both statements are truth. But which is the fundamental truth? We can always say that things happens because of this and that – and they are true. But we forget the fundamental truth – God is behind it all and that He’s always there.

DA Carson

Have been attending D A Carson talks the past two nights. He has been teaching on Revelations and it’s been truly amazing. He talked about Revelations 12 and 13. As he explained the passage, it was like ‘scales fell from my eyes’ and I could see the passage for what it was. There was a hunger from deep within to read and study the living truth – the word of God. Made me realize that I know little of the treasures in the Bible.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Wow! Am amazed that my prayer was answered. Had an awesome time over the past weekend. Enjoyed staying in the dorms with the girls... They called me sleepy bear. Hehehe. Guess that's because I was in bed whenever I could- not that it was very often either. We had an awesome time together as leaders. Am encouraged to see how God is moving in our midst and how He's changing us.



Things that I felt that God was impressing on our hearts:
1. Are our personal walk with God right? If not, do something about it.
2. We need not to be fully equipt to serve Him. Just do it out of a heart of love for Him

We were also challenged to find a mentor. Am excited to learn more in the "mentoring" ABS classes.
I also found peace for certain issues I was praying for there. Praise God for that. All in all, the fellowship was a beautiful one - one that I've not felt in a while(the last time was probably in an OCF setting 3 years back).

Last night, after a restful day (apart from doing chores and cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children and a beautiful nap) , went to Audrey's and Ting's place for dinner. They are seriously a couple with "beautiful" souls. Went with Irwin and we were challenged to relook at our roles as assistants. At the same time, we were praying over our members and to reevaluate of what were our lacking.

I've missed out a lot of other details like Adrian Ang, Sue Ann and Ting washing our feet as a sign that they were a servant-leader to us; Adrian Ng led holy communion and we had to dip our bread into Ribena (mushy ribena bread doesn't taste all that nice *grimace*); FGA college group were in the room next to ours and we joined their worship in the evening; Adrian Ang got the FGA leader to pray with us and we in turn for them; Jorja and Vanessa was sleeping above Poh Lyn and I (and they were giggling and asking us dodgy questions while we trying to sleep); the guys played Risk - Ting won; the guys couldn't sleep all that well cos gramps, ting and ang were snoring with the occasional laugh from Tatt Seng; had fun watching the whole group playing captain ball; had a wonderful time practicing worship with Jason and Irwin; a beautifully written personal letter of encouragement from Ting and Ang written to EACH individual- I really loved mine!

All in all - it was a wonderful weekend. *contented sigh*

Dear God,
Thank You.

I am...

I am - Tired & sleepy, surprised, wishful, excited, hopeful, stressed, dissapointed and above all; grateful.

Tired and sleepy: Lack of sleep must be catching up on me. Had many meetings for the past few weeks. And precious late night talks with my sis.
Surprised: That time has passed by soo fast. It's been THREE weeks since I last blogged. So many things have been happened since. Many Good things. And some not so good.
Wishful: That I had more time to sit by His feet and rest in Him
Excited: Going for Cross Gen(youth group) Leaders retreat tomorrow
Hopeful: That I'll be able to sit by His feet and rest there. And that He will minister to ALL of us.
Stressed: At the amount of work I have to do before then - and it is a lot.
Dissapointed: That I'm not moving as fast or accomplished as much as I've hoped to.
Grateful: To Him who sees me through each and everyday. No matter how stressed I get or how dissapointed I am with myself, He loves and sees me through. He molds me and guides me each day. His presence is felt. Thank You Jesus - the Great I AM.

Dr Daniel Chua

This morning was rather stressful - just running around trying to do as much as I could before Dr Daniel came over. Unfortunately, didn't managed to get everything done as I'm now still stuck here in the office.
I know I know, why am I blogging if I'm so busy. Guess I don't want to "miss the moment".
Had a really fun time talking to Dr Daniel in the afternoon. He reminded me really strongly of Simon Ling. Maybe it was just his mannerisms- he was also as thin as Simon too(and dressed like him - except for the shoes =P).. Simon's really into worship as well and for a while I experienced a bit of deja vu.
So I must say that I'm really looking forward to having him around for the next few days.. It'll just be really interesting. He's speaking on worship leading tomorrow and he'll be speaking on songwriting on Saturday and he'll be worship leading in the church service on Sunday..

Just on a side note, was upset for a bit this afternoon. But I thank God for a really great friend(you know who you are) who helped me to put things into perspective. Really appreciate your advice and concern. *big grin*

Dear God,
Thank you for this day. Have heaps more to do but I know that you'll see me through somehow. Thank you too for ppl who cares for me.

Nostalgia

Am feeling slightly nostalgically sad now. Was reading a friend's blog and I realised that her blog had a link to some of my OCF friends and I ended up reading some of their blog. As I read their blog, just realised I missed them quite a bit- hence the sadness. Serves me right for reading when I should be doing my work.. =P
Haven't kept in contact with these people in quite a while... Mostly it was a choice on my part. Was struggling being back here in Malaysia at first. Now that I've more or less settled here for now, I'm more ready to confront my past.
So maybe it was a good thing that I didn't come across their blog earlier. Would have probably have had a greater struggle in accepting what HE wants for me.

Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Dad
On a different note, thought I should put a record that dad came home for a couple of days. Didn't get to see much of him as I was busy with the seminar and all. He came back on Saturday evening, went to church and was going in and out of the house. Went for supper with him, mum and sam yesterday evening. That was good as it was probably the only meal that I sat down to eat with him. He left for camerons again this morning.

Others
Thought I should also add that it's sometimes SOOOO difficult to get ppl to come for prayer meeting. =P
Miss Jon Lee- he always came whenever he could.

Dear God,
Heaps to do again today. Know I feel a bit sad but thank you for bringing me back and for enriching my life with other friends that I've made for the past two years. You are my shepherd and my guide.

Thoughts

This is so funny... When I normally walk around, I'll think - 'hmmm... that's a good idea to put in my blog'. But now, my mind's just blank. =P
This is contradictory but I'll just type whatever that just comes into my mind.


Adeline Loh
Was great to meet up with that 'char boh'... Have not seen her in ages. She's one of the closest ppl to me in my life. She was like a big sister to me when I was in Melbourne. Did I mention that she was my housemate and partner-in-crime?
Anyways, went out with her and her friend and EJ for coffee at Starbucks in Section 14. On my part, it was really good to talk with her and just to catch up with her... Am really happy for her as she's now working at a place where she enjoys the job and seems to be happy..

Chris Leow and Hoong Ern
These two ppl whom I'm fond off will be going off.. *sob sob*.. Hoong Ern's going off to UK to study. *sigh* will miss making fun of EJ with Hoong Ern.. Will definitely have to take him out for dinner next week before he goes.
Chris Leow's going to DTS in Melbourne. Am really happy for him and I pray that he will really grow in his spiritual walk with God. Am so glad that he's taking this step because he wants to have a firsthand knowledge of God. Both will be leaving next month.

Alicia Chew
Went out for lunch with her today. She's just one beautiful and talented individual.. Am really fond of her. She's a great friend, drummer, singer and worship leader. Really enjoyed lunch with her. She'll be going back to US this Thursday. Will miss her.

Him and I

Contemplations
I seriously think that I have to decrease and he increase in my life.
Just yesterday evening, I got really grumpy cos I couldn't get my way(yes, I usually get grumpy anyways). Just chose to be miserable and when that happens, I try to get everyone around me to be miserable. But it doesn't work because everyone around me just knows me too well. =P
In the end, my misery was just confined to me and myself. *sigh*.
Yes, he just has to increase in me. Don't like me sometimes. Especially when I get really irritated and grumpy.

This morning
This morning I managed to find my specs and got to work on time. =) Have heaps to do. Am partially worried and yet am not. Guess that I just need to do the work and not think too much. Need to rely on His strength once again. May He increase and I decrease....

Dear God,
Just want to commit the Worship Seminar into Your hands. Help me to remember the things that i need to do and not to worry too much. Grant me the wisdom I need. I commit the rest of the day into your hands. Help me to find the registration form that I can't find at the moment. I thank You that You are with me in this seminar and that I am never alone. My heart is once again filled with gratitude and love for You.

This morning

Woke up this morning - took a look at the clock: 8.39am... ARRRGGGHHHHH... Aunty Chan Boey's coming NOW! Where's my specs? Where's my specs!!!????!!! Cannot find it... ARRRGGHH!! Quick! Need to change! Where's my specs!! *honk* *honk* ARRRGGHHH... She's here!! *ring* *ring* "hello aunty chan boey! Can't find my specs!! Go ahead and i'll *somehow* find my way to work." *click* Where's my specs!! ARRRGGGHHHHH....
Yup- there was just how my morning started... Finally found my specs-it was under the radio cupboard/table. *sigh* And managed to get a lift to church from EJ.

On a different note, I know I need to plan for the worship seminar but boy- am feeling so lazy... Not to say that I've not done anything this morninglaaa... Just overwhelms me at times on what I have to do.. Feel paralysed.... Just have to take time out and add God in the equation.. Even this morning, seriously had to pray "God you have to help this 'blind' child of yours where to look for her specs' *grimace*
Just realise as I'm writing this that He is just continually teaching me to depend on Him for everything: for strength that he will carry me through and for sight to see what He wants me to see..

Dear God,
It's another crazy day. Am overwhelmed with the things that I have to do. Am so afraid that I can't finish it all and that I won't do a good job. But Your word assures me that "I can do all things through Christ" so I'm counting on you ya??? =)
Thank you too for people that encourages me and that bears with me-my messiness, my scatterbrain-ness, my impatience and my irritated-ness.. You alone know how much I love and appreciate them all the more- though I may not show it.
I know too that you're refining me each day-and it's rather painful at times. But at least I have You beside me and I know You love me more that I can every imagine. Thank You..

Lovely Surprise Call

Just received a lovely surprise call from - Adeline (My beloved ex-housemate in Melbourne)!!
Have not heard from her in 4 months now. The last time I saw her was during Easter.
She has been busy travelling in Australia and with her new job(which requires her to travel a lot).
Am gonna meet up with her this Sunday at 2pm! Am SOO looking forward to it.
Didn't realise how much I missed catching up with her until she called today.

Dear God,
Thank You for each and every person that you've placed in my life. They are such blessings to me.

The past week

It has been a rather eventful week. Caught up with Sue Lee just last week on Thursday evening and it was rather good. Also had an argument with a close friend and things sorta went 'funny'(Hmm.. it was not so funny after all) the next day and was really sad at one point. But we made up on Friday and got back to our usual footing so that was really good. Made me realise how much I treasured our friendship.
Went to cross gen late on Friday. Had a memorial service at 5pm for aunty Dora's brother and I was supposed to play the piano so a lot of things beforehand back logged and I had to stay back to finish up. Cross Gen was good though I was rather sad when I found out that most of my cell group members have not had the role models/accountability partner/spiritual mentors that I've had.
The weekend was hectic as usual. Had a wedding on Saturday morning and played for the worship. Sat afternoon had the usual practice and basically hung out with my mum. Just her and I- for the first time in ages. =) We did the usual mother daughter stuff- talk about ministry and stuff. And then we watched tv together.
Sunday was more busy than usual. Had service in the morning, had lunch with EJ and his friends then had to rush back to church for the practice for this Sunday. Was so tired that when I got home I just fell asleep. Had a nap then mum came home to pick us up for dinner. Finally got to meet up with my aunt who's on a short holiday here from Brisbane. Then had a cross gen leader's meeting that evening.
Monday was just the usual - cook in the morning, teach piano, hang out with EJ in the afternoon. Went home for dinner, did my chores, watched telly, read a book by Mike Pilavachi(The title escapes me for the moment) and then went to sleep..
Today has just been a busy day with the worship seminar. Still need to get my musicians.. *sigh*
Looking forward when the seminar will be over. Thank God that Sarah came in to help with sorting out the old songsheets...
Arrgggh.. just remembered that I need to send aunty I the lyrics for Paul Baloche's "Above All" =P

Dear God,
Preserve me.. *cheeky grin*

People

People are such funny and amusing beings at times. Just had a rather interesting wedding rehearsal yesterday evening. In short, uncle Loh Soon Choy is a rather interesting character. =)
I think that God uses ppl to help you improve in your short comings.
Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
I think it is so true. I figure that I might not like being scolded/rebuked but it helps me to be more like Jesus. =)
Need to stop this here. Have heaps of stuff to do. Two more things to say. I've finally got my computer at the office!!! My aunt from Brisbane's here!!! yay!!

Dear God,
Thank you for the ppl that you've put in my life. Especially the ones that care for me enough to rebuke me - not that I enjoy it when it happens or that I like it happening all the time.
Thank you too for my computer and that Ee-ee's down here.
I pray too that you help me to get through this week. You know how hectic it's going to be and how much I want to be used for your glory especially in the worship ministry.

Work Stuff

Am so GLAD that the distribution of brochures for "Rediscovering Worship Seminar" is FINALLY finished. Thanks to EJ's help of driving me around town to the other churches, we completed it yesterday. Was so tired after that that I went to bed at 8pm! Haven't done that in a while. *grimace*
Today, I'll have to prepare for my worship tonight,  pray for the Worship Ministry and work out the flow for the worship this Sunday. So it looks like I better get started for all of that or else I'll not be able to finish it all.

Dear God,
Thank you for being with us yesterday as we went around distributing the flyers.  I pray that you will be with me even as I go around finishing the stuff that I have to do today

Worship Leading

Worship yesterday evening went well.  Ended up chosing a bunch of hymns and some old songs which I really like(Then again, all the songs I chose are the ones I really like)..
Worship leading at prayer meet is something that I've not done in a while and the only reason that I did it in the first place was  because no one else wanted to do it. But I really felt the Lord's guidance in this one. The songs just flowed through my head- seriously- if it was me, I would not have chosen so many hymns. One's usually the maximum for me.
I need to pray for the worship leaders. 
Ang - who's feeling slightly under the weather and who's leading worship this Sunday
Uncle Lawrence - who has so many responsibilities and struggling with them at times.
Peng Peng- Have been so blessed by Hillsong
Ting -Parents are here
Uncle Thomas - now assistant HF leader
 
Dear God,
There always seems to be so many things to pray for. Remember the hymn- what a friend we have in Jesus  and am reminded that we can take ALL things to you in prayer. Thank You for that. =)
Thanks too for leading me in the worship yesterday.

 

Breakfast with Adrian

Just had breakfast with Adrian. He gave this super cool idea of having breakfast once a week with the Worship Leaders. =)
Dunno how well it will sit with the rest of them. =P
We discussed about discipleship and worship over breakfast.
Now I have more work to do. =P
Oh well, looks like i'll have heaps to do today.

1. Prepare for worship leading at prayer meet tonight and at cross gen on Friday
2. Check the flow for Adrian's songs.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your faithfulness. Need you to lead me today as I prepare for worship for tonight and Friday.