Fears...

There are times when certain fears tend to overwhelm and hold us very strongly in its grip. When it happens, it's really scary. You struggle and struggle till you're tired. You struggle and struggle until you're just worn out. The worst thing is when it still holds on to you.

A friend of mine was telling me the other day about how she was afraid of going to see the doctor. She's afraid of what he might say -that she's gotten worst. She's afraid to the point where she just gives in and gives up caring about her health. She's just tired of caring, tired of fighting. I really identify with her right now.

I'm afraid.

I'm terrified, scared, petrified - to the point of giving in and giving up. A part of me tells me to fight some more but I can't anymore... If pushed any further, I feel as if I'd break into a million pieces....

In this struggle, I ask - where is God in all this? He feels so far away... A part of me knows that He's there, just very far away. Another voice is saying that He doesn't care - if He did, perhaps I'd be more strong to fight this. Isn't His strength is made perfect when I am weak? I don't see that right now. I'm just afraid... God, I just give up-I don't know how to go on right now.. Please help me..