Family Vacation coming up

Will be away on Friday till Sunday for a family holiday. It's been a while(something like more than 10 years) since we've had one(trips to Camerons technically don't count -since my dad's home is there), so I'm rather looking forward to it. Thanks to one pastor friend who helped my family to book the place, the trip will actually happen! there were quite a few doubts because somehow, somewhere, something always come up - my dad almost cancelled it due to his work a week or two ago!

We'll be going to somewhere near Lumut and probably hop over to Pangkor island. Am really really looking forward to a break with my family and hanging out with them as it's been a while since everyone is in one place at the same time.

The power of the cross

Was going through one of my friend's song album and came across this song.. Quite beautiful... Not surprising as Stuart Townend is one of the writers. I particularly love the lyrics of the 3rd verse:
Oh, to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suffering I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

By Keith Getty & Stuart Townend


Oh, to see the dawn, of the darkest day
Christ on the road to Calvary
Tried by sinful men,Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood

CHORUS
This, the power of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath
That we stand forgiven at the cross

Oh, to see the pain written on Your face
Bearing the awesome weight of sin
Every bitter thought, every evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow

CHORUS

Now the daylight flees, Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head
Curtain torn in two, Dead are raised to life
'Finished!' the victory cry.

CHORUS

Oh, to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suffering I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

FINAL CHORUS:
This, the power of the cross
Son of God - slain for us
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross

Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music.

The grass is not greener on the other side

"No matter what, I am glad to be where I am right now".

Author's note: Thanks to my friend Peter Farag, who has helped me appreciate these words more than when I first wrote them.

Lost in Wonder

It's just one of those songs that just came to my mind today. This song was written a couple of years ago by a British songwriter, Martyn Layzell, who's affiliated with Soul Survivor UK. I first heard this song from the man himself and he shared that he wrote this song while he was here in Malaysia.

This song holds a special meaning for me as it spoke to me in one of the darkest time of my life. It took me years to get out of that darkness. On the night this song was sung, it was as if I could finally see the dawn and found hope that was lost. I remember that it took a while for the tears to wash my soul clean. While most of the lyrics spoke to me in a powerful way, the phrase 'because of Jesus, I am restored' just kept on going in my head and that truth finally broke through into my life. In the following months, many things happened as God truly restored me from the darkness and the all consuming guilt within.

There are days when I look back and wonder what would happen if I that night did not happen, if I was still wallowing in that darkness. Perhaps I would not be alive today. I'm once again struck by the awesomeness of His grace and am truly 'Lost in wonder'.



You chose the cross with every breath
The perfect life
The perfect death
You chose the cross
A crown of thorns you wore for us
And crowned us with eternal life
You chose the cross

And though Your soul was overwhelmed with pain
Obedient to death, You overcame

CHORUS
I'm lost in wonder
I'm lost in love
I'm lost in praise forevermore
Because of Jesus' unfailing love
I am forgiven, I am restored

You loosed the cords of sinfulness
And broke the chains of my disgrace
You chose the cross
Up from the grave victorious
You rose again so glorious
You chose the cross

The sorrow that surrounded You was mine
"Yet not my will but Yours be done" You cried...

CHORUS

And though Your soul was overwhelmed with pain
Obedient to death, You overcame
The sorrow that surrounded You was mine
"Yet not my will but Yours be done" You cried...

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Because of Jesus, I am restored.

To You...

Perhaps this post does not do justice to You. However, someone reminded me recently how little I actually speak about You sometimes. You know how You continually amaze me. Just when I think that things are going to go awry and I cry out to You, You answer so quickly - at just the right time. Thank You for Your mercies and not giving more than I can bear. Strengthen me that I may give strength to those who need it right now. Never for my sake - but so that You may be glorified.

Forgive me for being so stupid as to lean on my own understanding and abilities instead of seeking You. Your grace is indeed sufficient for me.

Rambling

It's not an exaggeration to say that I really need a piano right now... At times like this, I really hate STM rules..

Teaching Church History

*wanted to post this post before the previous post but was waylaid (obviously!). And thought to post this up since I'm currently officially behind someone's post by 5 (will be 4 after this) posts now.

As I've mentioned previously, I've been teaching Early Church History(up to AD300) in my church for the last couple of weeks and the last Sunday was the final class of the lot. As one of my lecturers, Mr Allen says, in teaching one sometimes learn more about the subject than the students. I really agree with him on this as I felt that I've gained a greater perspective on the topic that when I actually sat in class.

It was quite fun to put things together and seeing the connection - especially between the past and today - and getting those who are learning excited about it as well. Anyways, I did tell those taking the class that I hope that they'd continue in their desire to learn. There was a lot of good questions and responses in the final class as we talked about St Anthony the great, the conversion of Constantine, the council of Nicaea, St Augustine and the Schism between the East and West. We also talked about the relation between the state and the church, the formulation of the Nicene creed, the beginnings of monasteries (I'm really glad again for the foundations that my seminary training has given me - though I'll write about it in another post).

Though I'm glad to see the class end (it's definitely time to work on assignments!), it was definitely a nice addition for my usual weekend practical (Thanks to the culprit who suggested me to take the class in the first place - in spite of the potential flak that I got from several people about doing too much). Some of the people of the class was nice enough to want to take myself and my co-teacher out for a nice meal one of these days - which makes the teaching even more rewarding. ;)

Ranting of the-shocked

Just found out a rather surprising news in the last two hours. So you can choose not to read this post as it's probably going to be a little incoherent as I still find myself struggling to get used to it. *sigh. Why is it that when just as I feel that things are settling down, something ALWAYS just comes around to upset the equilibrium?

Things just seem topsy turvy and it would definitely be nice to be able to work it out on the piano right now at 1am in the morning (I remember that I was never very good at verbally expressing my emotions. There were times when I'd just sit at the piano to express what was within until I found my 'balance' again). I guess blogging is the next best thing at the moment (otherwise I'd be waking up ppl and there will be an angry mob in the seminary).

Hmmm... Where to start? For one, I'm pretty mixed up about my friend not telling me the news directly. I had to hear it from another good friend (albeit this friend is not very close with this particular friend) - and I thought the news was another joke or something. Then I found out that I was the last in the group to know - which is not a bad thing if you were the last one to know if the news was a day old (or even a few days old)- but I found out that a few of them has known for WEEKS!

It's just rather upsetting not because I'm a busybody and have to know everything. It's upsetting because this involves a CLOSE FRIEND (if it was the average person, I wouldn't bat an eyelash and not care if I didn't know about the news) that I see and talk to most days. Then again, I found out that my close friend was upset at the same time because my other friends who knew about it was upset about THE NEWS and didn't want the rest of us to know about it. Talk about complications (I told you I was going to sound incoherent!) *SIGH. I'm definitely reeling over the shockingness of it all. Though I'm pretty sure that things might be a little bit more 'balanced' tomorrow morning when I wake up. Or maybe not...

One thing's for sure - things are going to be a little weird over the next few days. *sigh*

The house

Feeling tired at the moment. Am supposed to finish up with my preparations(surprise surprise - I'm actually teaching the ABS class :p) for my FINAL church history class tomorrow (yippee!!) - but find myself somewhat wiped out. Thought to take a break to blog before I plunge back in to lesson preparations - will be talking about St Anthony, Constantine and wrapping up the series on the history of the early church(till AD300). The classes have been a good place for me to interact more with the adults in my church and am happy to see that those who are in the class (it's just too weird to call them 'students') are quite enthusiastic about the class. Was particularly encouraged when one of the adults asked if they could just sit in for that class(and mentioned that they won't be coming back for the following ones) told me later that she would be coming in for the rest of the classes!! Had some discussion time last week about what they've and it's been good to listen to their responses and how they have been challenged through the class - the timing was great as it tied in with the sermon that day during service. During the class on 'persecution', I asked them the question if they think that they'd choose to be Christians if they were living in those days, knowing that they'd face persecution. I appreciated very much their honest answers. I'm blessed to be in the class with this bunch of ppl who have been encouraging to me.


On a different note, I just came back from Borders after having dinner with my sis. It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to lounge around in a bookshop so it was a bit of a treat. Sorta reminded me of the times when I went with Nicole and Lee in Cairo looking for a good English bookshop. We loved visiting the one at the American University of Cairo or Diwani's. I bought a couple of interesting novels that were locally written (translated into English). Those who know me would know how much I love a good story. In Cairo, I was particularly enthralled by the ones written by the famous Naguib Mahfouz(Egyptian author). A pity that I can't find stories written by him here in Malaysia.


Anyways this evening, I read most of the book called 'The House' by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. I must say that the way Frank Peretti writes his stories are absolutely captivating. I don't want to reveal all but I must say that I love the way he and Dekker wrote the story and parallelising 'the house' with the condition of the human heart. It was a gripping story which food for thought - just the kind of books that I love. Definitely must find more time to camp out in bookshops in the future. *happy sigh*

Memories..

Masa el-khair (Arabic for 'good evening').

I still find myself missing my friends in Cairo. I miss speaking the language (I think my Arabic's not that rusty yet. In Hebrew class, I sometimes find myself knowing the Arabic for the particular word rather than Hebrew :p). I was just catching up with some of my friends there and I am still amazed how much I still miss them (am gratified it's a mutual thing as they tell me it's a mutual thing). It's been half a year and I wish very much that I was there at times to share their joy and their pain.

I'm so glad for my teacher who's graduated from her university recently. I told her I wish that I could celebrate her success with her - I know that the time leading to her exams was quite tough for her.

I miss my family there and I wish at times that I was still journeying alongside with them. I found out that one of my brothers there recently got attached to someone who has the same passion as him for a particular group of people. I'm just so ecstatic for him! I miss my 'moseba and mugrim' brother who's always so encouraging and so bubbly(and who loves to say 'yasalem!' [a very Egyptian expression] all the time). I think of my sister and brother(and the funny faces he used to make at me) who's back home now and remember the outings that we had together.

I'm glad for my churchmates there who write and keep me posted about how they are doing. I look forward to catching up with one of my happening friends who's traveling this summer and will only be back in October. I miss my 'zarif'(funny) pastor friend and am bewail the fact that I can't talk much with him online cos of the level of English.

To all my Cairo friends and my family- you are never very far away from my thoughts and prayers. Miss you guys very much...

Quote

"We are all pencils in the hand of God" - Mother Teresa

Voice of Truth

By Casting Crowns
Oh,what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown to where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."

CHORUS:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

CHORUS

To be free again...

You know, there has been days when I never thought I'd feel this way again. This genuine sense of lightness within. This sense of deep joy - that have seemed to be lost for a while now, that it seems a bit alien and that I can hardly believe that it is real. I just feel like weeping. The pessimistic voice within says that it won't last for too long. But for now, for this moment, I feel liberated. The darkness that has been my companion deep within in the last few months seem to have disappeared.

The chains that have bound a part of me seems to be broken. Yet, a part of me feels afraid. Afraid that the chains will be back and afraid of what this liberation might mean - the implications that it will bring. After all, the darkness have become familiar - a place to hide my fears behind.

Yet, I hear His gentle voice calling to me. It is time to come out to the light again. To embrace again all that He has prepared for me. To put my fears behind and to revel in the day. To let go of the pain and to grasp onto the hand that He stretches out to me. To believe again. To love and to hold on to what is different within because He has made it so because to let it go or to destroy it would mean a greater loss.

A word or two

Am back and am definitely still alive!! I decided to take an unofficial break from blogging over the last few weeks to sort out couple of stuff...
Partly because I didn't want to feel like I had to blog for the sake of it.
Partly because I just needed some extra time to do some much needed personal reflection.

At this point of time till the end of August at least (in conjunction with the NECF forty days fast and pray) things are still up in the air - so my posts *might* be a little sporadic till then. We'll see how it goes. Though normally I normally do this fast and pray thing once every two years, I felt that I just needed to do it this year as well. As usual, the Lord has been speaking in different ways and I seem to be able to His hear a little more clearly over the last week especially - so no regrets...

Why...

Why is it that I feel as if I'm reaching for something that constantly eludes me?

Quote

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C.S. Lewis

This Mystery

Say goodnight to the light of the setting sun
One more day, one more way
Of keeping track of all I've done
I run this race, keep this pace, I'm doing fine
And I won't stop until each box
Gets checked a second time

And life becomes the 'round and 'round
Revolving door that won't slow down
It won't slow down

CHORUS
Do you wish, do You want us to breathe again?
Say goodbye to the lines that we've colored in
Brown and gray from day to day
Do You cry, do You hope for all things made new?
Try and try to invoke us to live in You
That we might be the hands and feel of this mystery

This routine is nice and clean from dawn to dusk
I rise and rest, I do my best
When will it ever be enough?

And life becomes the bigger noise
Drowning out Your little voice
Your little voice, Jesus

We take stock, and we punch the clock
And we make sure all those
Zeros have balanced in the end

Hebrew Class Humour

It is well known in seminary that taking Hebrew is not exactly 'a walk in the park'. This semester, we are down to 5 people taking the course(of which 1 is auditing). As part of the class, we do some translation exercises. Though we are now able to recognise some of the words and the forms, it still takes us a while(We look forward to the day when we can do it on the fly) and we still feel like we've accomplished much after doing 4-5 sentences.

This evening, after doing a couple of sentences -one of which was rather gruelling, one of my classmates humourously commented 'Thank God for Bible scholars who translated for us. Imagine taking 1/2 an hour to figure out ONE sentence of the bible every time we attempt to read it. We should seriously appreciate the English translations that we have. Thank God for the Hebrew scholars!'

And the rest my classmates went 'Amen'. *grin*

I wonder

Sometimes I wonder if being in a cage prepares one for being out in the jungle.

A new church - Peace Community Church

It's been a long day, though surprisingly, I am not as tired as I thought I'd be. I reckon I can still stay up for another couple of hours despite the many activities of the day. I suspect that the afternoon nap helped. I just got back to STM a couple of mins ago (yes - after curfew time. :p).

Other than the usual stuff at church and having lunch with a young friend(Tim) who will be leaving for UK for a couple of weeks, I was asked to play the keyboard for a new church opening service this evening. Since my friend stressed to me that they really couldn't find anyone else, I thought - why not? It's still early days of the semester and giving a couple of hours won't kill me at this time. Another fact is that since it's on Sunday evenings, I don't have any other engagements at this time.

The church that I went to help out was called Peace Community Church in Bukit Jalil. This church is a part of the Diocese of West Malaysia and is the daughter church of St Paul. The service went pretty smoothly and it was fun serving in the worship team with people I've never met before. It was definitely a good experience for me and I was glad to be able to contribute a little to the new church. They've asked me to go back to help them (for this coming weekend and in the future) but I can think of a few people who'll definitely kill me if I agree....

Anyways, if you happen to be in Bukit Jalil or know anyone who's living in the area, do encourage them to visit this church. You can also check out their website: http://www.peacecommunitychurch.blogspot.com/ . They gather on Sunday evenings at 7pm at Bukit Jalil Golf and Country Club.

The love of God

To you who is willing to move half a world away from home to be with me- just as I would for you..



The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade

To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky

Hallelujah 3x

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song

Article - Signs of division on Egypt's brow

By Magdi Abdelhadi
BBC News, Cairo

Public displays of devotion have become more common over the years.
The zebiba used to be the mark of an elderly Muslim man, the fruit of a lifetime's devotion, but it is increasingly seen on the faces of young Egyptians.

Literally meaning "a raisin", the zebiba is a patch of hardened skin where the forehead touches the ground during Muslim prayers.

Some welcome the trend as a sign of devotion, others say it is ostentatious piety.

Worse still there are fears public displays of faith like the zebiba and the hijab, or headscarf, are spilling over into vigilantism.

Liberals or Christians who don't conform in the workplace or on the street say they are being harassed.

Gift from God
A practising Muslim's forehead is meant to touch the ground at least 34 times a day - in symbolic submission to God's will - which could add up to more than a million prostrations in a lifetime.

But over the past few decades, as more and more Egyptians turned to religion, the zebiba began appearing among young men as the veil did among young women.

But not every Muslim gets one, and opinions vary as to where it comes from. It could something to do with skin-type, or created artificially, or come from particular kinds of matting. Others believe it is a gift from God.

Many young Egyptians I asked believe some kind of light will emanate from the prayer mark on their foreheads on the Day of Judgment, marking them out as truly devout.

One of Egypt's greatest living and most popular poets, Abdelrahman al-Abnoudi, has another explanation - in times of crises people turn either to drugs or to religion.

Read more here.

Usual ramblings..

It's been crazy for me the last couple of days. Attended CUG on Friday evening(but was so tired that I ended up not contributing much -should've made time to nap after my theology class). From then onwards it was pretty much going from one thing to another. Ended up attending 3 worship ministry related meetings, attending Saturday worship practice(and realised that I have to muster enthusiasm from deep down to encourage the team), lead worship on Sunday, went for a 2 and 1/2 hour meeting with my pastor, attended a concert, went pretty around Negeri Sembilan for about 5 hours checking out for a nice place to go for Picnic day, learnt how to play squash, attended another fellowship meeting and just finished dorm duty. Accomplished all these in three days. Little wonder I'm ready to collapse soon. Classes for the week start again tomorrow. *groan

Some highlights:
- in one of my worship ministry meetings, one of the things that came up was about the lack of and need for role models within the church.
- in college group meeting, something my pastor said really struck me. One of the M-converts once told him, "the church of Malaysia is weak because the people within her are not ready to die." It struck me a lot as it seems to be a theme that keeps on coming up in the last couple of months for me personally..
- In another meeting with my pastor, he said something about people have this perspective that those who go into full time after being in the marketplace give up more than those who go in when they are young. I supposed that this could be a point of contention, but he said he disagreed because those who go in when they are young give up their security while those who give up when they are 'up there' have accumulated their wealth that would be able to probably last them till they die..
- The concert that I attended was good. I especially loved the choir item by the Sin Hua school. Their rendition of 'Gemilang' was just beautiful. They were very very good.
- During our scouting for picnic place, caught myself singing 'Give us clean hands' and Yoshua and Rowena did an impromptu harmony. Was one of those 'cool moments' for me..

Just imagine

Imagine that you just had to watch one of your close relatives die. For the last two months she/he has been suffering from illnesses and there was nothing that you could do about it but watch her suffer. You and your family are in pain.

Imagine at the same time you are facing your final exams which stresses over a couple of weeks. You cannot sleep for days and are so stressed out. You have only two people who you trust - there is something different about them. One of them who have been your source of comfort will be leaving in a couple of days time for some distant country and will not be back. The other close is overseas and though you wish she was there with you, you know that there is no way that she can be with you through this time. No one around you seems to care about the hell that you are going through.

Your siblings don't understand you for your personalities are so different. Your mother is also constantly sick at the same time and you are worried about her because you love her. With all that is going on, you cannot work and prices of everything around you is increasing making you worry even more. Where can you go? What can you do?

Imagine also your relationship with God is non-existent. You do not know Him. Everyone around you do not know Him and the church around you are afraid to tell you of Him. What would be your thoughts? How hopeless would life be for you? Where would you find comfort to cope with the harshness of this life? Just imagine...

From my head...

I've been back in STM for almost a week now.
Am aware I have not been blogging as much as usual in the past week- I guess that having to sit still makes me listen to my thoughts - something that I have not been ready to do until now.

Am still getting used to the idea of being back and adjusting to changes. Was moved to a different wing when I got back and I was reminded again how much I hate unexpected changes at times. Sure, there are blessings to being in this new room but I miss Lee Yng's company(and have I mentioned how much I HATE unexpected changes). Poor Lan Yin - she got pretty fed up of my rantings when i found out on Sunday about the room change. I pretty much drove her up the wall. *cheeky grin*

Other than the changes, I have appreciated being back together and hanging out with friends. Being able to just go out without the feeling of assignments hanging over your head is definitely a plus for this week. Having friends to just talk rubbish, have deep conversations, have coffee, or just being with them is such a blessing - one that I will not take for granted any time soon (especially after my recent conversation with a troubled friend).

Classes seems to be pretty alright so far this sem. Am taking Social Ministry, pastoral leadership and management, missiology, Hebrew, poetic books, Christology and a TEE class later on in the semester (Teaching and Preaching in Parables). Will just have to readjust back to balancing my time for church work and STM workload. I am just beginning to realise that it was just bliss to be able to concentrate on one without worrying about the other for the last couple of weeks. It was definitely less stressful not to have to change modes all the time.

Well, will have one last class tomorrow and the weekend is looming ahead with different set of challenges to face. I just hope I get used(and accept) to being back to STM soon.

Article - Lord I lift Your Name on High

Was browsing for some devotional materials for my worship ministry when I came across this article:

Lord I Lift Your Name on High
by Rick Founds
(Reprinted from Worship Leader Magazine - March/April '98)

Worship leaders know that "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High" is a rare gem. The song is as effective in an intimate small group as a public praise outreach. Methodist Junior High kids settle into the song as sweetly as Baptist senior citizens, and it never seems to get tiresome. In less than a decade, Rick Founds' little four-chord flock-rocker has become known and loved internationally. It hurdles denominational barriers effortlessly, and is sung in every conceivable musical style. The song rocketed into CCLI's highest position several years ago and remains comfortably nestled there. It's unusual to find a modern songbook without "Lord, I Lift," or an evangelical church that doesn't sing it. More than an accessible and catchy praise song, "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High" accomplishes something priceless: it summarizes the whole gospel, responds with adoration, and then places it on the lips of uncounted millions.

All this is quite a feat for a guy who does research and development at a fiber optics company.

Rick Founds, however, is far more than a techno-geek with a pocket protector; he's logged over 15 years in full-time ministry, and has authored nearly 500 praise songs. Dad to three teen-age daughters, Rick has been leading worship since he was a teen himself. Even so, Founds is awestruck at the impact of "Lord I Lift Your Name on High," a song that is at home around a campfire, or in the shadow of the Washington Monument with a million Promise Keepers. "It's an honor," he ponders, speaking slowly as he takes it all in again for the umpteenth time. "I'm happy about it. It's what anybody would hope for."

"Lord, I Lift Your Name" was written in 1989 during Found's morning devotion. Having developed the habit of playing guitar while watching television, he found it very natural to play while reading Scripture on his computer monitor.

"I'd just reach over and grab my guitar," he recalls. "I'd plunk along with whatever I was reading that day."

He remembers marvelling one early morning at the love of God who created the world though He knew we would rebel and fall. It amazed Rick that God had a plan to redeem us from the very beginning. As Founds meditated over his cyber-Bible and touched his guitar strings, God's plan struck him as something of a cycle. He thought of the cycle of rain that comes down, waters the earth, evaporates back into the clouds and then returns. Suddenly, the now famous chorus emerged: "You came from heaven to earth to show the way/From the earth to the cross my debt to pay/From the cross to the grave/From the grave to the sky..." Interrupting his own lyric, Founds explains, "The response to grasping even a little bit of that knowledge is praise, thanksgiving and gratitude!" When he completes the line, 'Lord, I Lift Your Name on High,' a moment of silent awe follows. Founds was worship leader for a large church, so the song found its way easily to Maranatha! Music and was soon recorded. A then new men's movement called Promise Keepers began to use the song at their rallies with both Anglo and Latino lyrics, helping lift the song into profound prominence. The composer enjoys visiting churches and anonymously adding his voice to their versions of his song. He has found many of these renditions to be... unique. He warns young praise songwriters to prepare themselves for this shock. "Every congregation has its own personality and style," he observes. "It's a lot of fun to hear things you have written done in the character of that church. I've heard 'Lord, I Lift Your Name on High' done in reggae, in 3/4 (almost a polka), and in a Spanish flavor. I've heard it done country. These were the musical characteristics of the praise band or predominant style [of that ministry]. That's exciting, because it means they have taken ownership of it, made it their own."

Founds says he is most touched when people tell him that his songs have given expression to the cries of their own hearts. He treasures letters from believers in Croatia and Russia thanking him for his songs. Founds is known for many other fine praise songs, including: "Jesus Draw Me Close," "I Need You," and "I Love Your Grace." WL

Taken from www.rickfounds.com

Prayer by Ambrose

O God, teach me to seek You, and reveal Yourself to me when I seek You.
For I cannot seek You unless You first teach me,
nor find You, unless You first reveal Yourself to me.
Let me seek You in longing, and long for You in seeking.
Let me find You in love, and love You in finding.

- Ambrose of Milan, 339 - 397.

Computer stuff

This semester break, I have been replacing several parts of my laptop. Last week, I replaced my DVD writer. It was not working very well because for some reason, it couldn't read DVDs that has been burnt by my computer or other computers. I had to go through half an hour of testing with the Dell customer service - only to have him tell me what I already knew. His diagnosis was 'Yes - we need to replace your writer.' :p

Just today my whole keyboard and touchpad mouse was replaced. Replacing my mouse also meant that I could replace my hand rest which has been very worn out. So my computer looks partially new now. The best thing is, I didn't have to spend anything on all these changes as my computer is still on warranty! *happy dance* Despite the grief that last week's Dell Customer service operator gave me - am pretty happy with the overall service they provided. Very efficient. *grin

To top up all these changes, I finally bought a "No Touch NT3500 500GB External Hdd"!!!! Was going around during lunch time deciding between this, the 500GB hdd by Buffalo(more by RM35) and a SATA 500GB Hdd plus internally powered casing (another RM60 extra). Much to EJ's chagrin, I decided to buy this one instead of the internally powered one. *hehehhe. To me, I can use the money for another 6 cups of starbucks coffee... Anyways, I've been going around with a rather large grin on my face this afternoon since I bought it. *grin* I just love all the extra space for storing stuff - have maxed out on my 80GB on my laptop as well as on my 120GB portable Hdd.. Now I can also reformat computer too!! *happy dance*

News - Turkish Christians in distress...

Pastor Ihsan Ozbek does his best to shield his flock and his young children from the daily threats that arrive at his doorstep. Leading one of the largest congregations of the tiny Christian minority in Turkey, Ozbek has watched a troubling transformation of the relationship between his parishioners and the large Muslim majority in recent years.

A surge of religiously motivated violence has resulted in the violent murder of three church members and brazen attacks on priests and has created a general sense of isolation and trepidation amongst Turkish Christians. This has been compounded by a growing nationalist sentiment in Turkish society that Christians seek to undermine the nation's sovereignty by promoting a faith that is seen by many as Western. (Read more here)

A reflection on 1st Semester 2008

Will be back in STM for the 2nd semester in a couple of days.. And I figure that I better get myself geared up for the coming semester. Perhaps part of that process would be writing this reflection..

I remember on the last day of the semester my principal gave his closing day sharing. As part of that sharing he spoke about how students should manage their time better. I remember as I sat there in the chapel, I was examining my life, wished that my assignments were completed earlier(as is my wish every semester) and had more time to study my Hebrew, I had no regrets.

For me personally, studying in seminary should result in a greater growth than just academically (one of my worship deacon calls it 'growing cerebrally'). Though I do enjoy most of the subjects that I've been studying and have learnt a lot from them, studying in seminary is about growing in other areas of life too as one prepares to go into ministry or even the marketplace.

Each semester has taught me different life lessons - learning the importance of rest, learning to be the more relational, the importance of walking the talk and learning to trust in God more. This last semester seems to be about letting God be the surgeon on my spiritual life - the importance of cleaning out the junk within. I supposed that this was brought out even more after my trip - the urgency on letting God just deal with stuff deep inside in the here and now so that I may ready myself for what He has called me to do in the future. So while I attended classes such as counselling, pastoral leadership, theology, Hebrew, thesis methodology and Mark; God was working on me on another level.

Looking back, my circle of friends became smaller. I suppose that a part of me just needed more time alone and only let a few people in. I suppose that it was just God's timing too that I had a single room. It would've been harder otherwise. Of course I wished that I could be my usual self - being able to cope with studies, Exco, church work and friendships a bit more effortlessly. With where I was, there was just no way I could do it. Doing things just seem to take a whole lot of strength that I just couldn't find in me. I remember that early in the semester when I tried starting on a few of my assignment, I was just paralyzed and almost freaked out. It took a while before I could start on that assignment and others. I was just thankful for one of my close friends who reassures me that I did my best whenever I get into one of my self-recriminating moods. I have no regrets.

As I write this, I am reminded why I am not ready to go back - I'm hoping not to have to go through all of it again. The operation's not over... There's still things to work out(and perhaps there will be throughout the rest of my studies). I hope that in the break these last few weeks, I'm a little bit more healed, a little bit more strong, a little bit more whole, a little more wiser. Going back will test that.

Naturally, I wish for the coming semester that things will be better- I'll finish my assignments earlier, exercise more, do better for my studies, cope with everything with a little more aplomb - and I may hope that things will go as planned. However, am learning that God allows curveballs to happen and plans may come to naught. In the end, it's about learning to hang on in spite of the unexpected, trusting that He knows what He's doing. I may not know fully what the future holds, what ministries or the difficulties that lies ahead. He does and I have to remind myself that He is preparing me for it.

Just for laughs

Feeling sleepy - due to lack of sleep - and came across this.. *grin

Church office and food

Will be heading back to seminary on Sunday, thus ending my 3 week plus stint at the church office... As I mentioned previously, things have been fairly busy - but am glad for the break from studies though I am missing my friends and the time for reflections... Being back in the office gives me time to do stuff that I wish to do during the semester - planning for training, catching up with people, sorting out stuff that would be harder to do when I'm in seminary. Also, one of the perks is that we get the occasional visit church members who bring food! ;)



In my first week, someone brought KFC for everyone in the office - which was a real treat. In the last few days we have ppl bringing snacks over (pic above). Just today, someone brought us the lastest pizza - apparently just launched today - from Pizza Hut(pic below). Hahaha - as I told someone, I'm definitely not ready to head back to seminary just yet.. and... I definitely need to head to the gym...

To a friend in pain...

If only for a little while I wish...
That I may be able to reach out to you in your pain
To give a measure of comfort where none seems to be found in your world
To hold and cry with you and assure you that someone cares - He cares

Ramblings

I'll be heading of to church camp in a couple of hours and I thought that I should take a couple of minutes to blog before being swamped with stuff for the rest of the weekend. Have not much expectations for myself at camp (am involved in all the sessions and have been asked to help minister if I get a break from playing the piano/leading the singing) but am hoping to spend a little more time with some CUG people and young adults. Hmmm... am also hoping not to overtire myself too. My mother wants me to do a couple of stuff with her when I get back on Sunday afternoon. *faint

On another note, have been working in the church since I got back from Phuket. Being back in the church office has been somewhat a good change for me personally. This past semester has been a tough one for me in some ways (not course wise- though I'm expecting my grades to be affected by it) and I appreciate the respite from being in seminary(yes Yoshua- if you're reading this, I'll be writing my promised reflection before I get back to seminary *grin). Though it's been different from being in STM, it has been no less busy.

Things have especially picked up since I had my meeting with my 'boss' last week - he gave me a looooonnnngggg list of things to work on for the rest of the year(I think there's a correlation with my meeting with him and lack of blog posts) and I am very conscious that I have till next weekend to complete as much as I can (looks like I'll have to find more time next week to finish all on my list). One thing that has been occupying much of my thoughts is my previous conversation with my senior pastor and thinking through what to say to him in my next conversation with him some time in the coming week - I ask for your prayers in this as it'll be part of determining my future plans.

My next sem looks to be quite crazy- on top of classes and usual church ministry (which my girl friends constantly tells me that it's already too much), I have to start working on thesis, doing a little bit more in my role as Exco, take time out to attend a conference in late Sept, possibly go overseas for at least a week if my sis gets a job there and decide to migrate, conduct a series of classes in church for 6 weeks on church history and go house hunting (my family really really wants to move by the end of the year - and so far our search has been fruitless). On top of all these, I also hope to spend a little more time with my friends who will be graduating at the end of the year. My pastor asked me the other day if I'm ready to go back to seminary for the next sem - combine all these with some stuff that I still need to work out from previous sem - I'd say absolutely not! :P

Indescribable -Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

CHORUS
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Last Chorus:
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
INCOMPARABLE, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Hmmmm...

Something about this pic struck me when I saw this at a shop on Phi Phi Island...

Quote

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.” -Mother Theresa

Phuket (4) - At the local food court

These are the last food pics of our Phuket trip that I'll be posting... On the last day that we were there, we managed to hire a taxi driver to take us around for the day and to then drive us to the airport. Just before we went to the airport, we wanted to go for lunch and asked the driver for some suggestions. He asked us what we had in mind and to his surprise we told him, "definitely not the restaurants that tourist go to. We want to go where local people go and eat." He asked us our budget and we told him less than 50 baht per person. At this, his eyes widened and he scrounge his face and thought of where he could possibily bring us. To our delight, he brought us to a local food court..

It was an interesting experience as the food sellers had to struggle to understand what we were asking them and vice versa - but we managed to order our food. Liza had more of her favourite Thai salad on top of Pad Thai. I had a really nice belacan fried rice -which the lady at the stall kept on warning me that it was very spicy. I really loved it. :) Below are the pics of some other interesting stuff at the food court..

Eggs being 'barbequed'

Pretty looking desert/snack

More fried deserts - similar to what we have in Malaysia - there's some pisang goreng (fried bananas) there somewhere

Local kuih-muih /desert

Not too sure what this stuff is - but looks like some rolled up pancake with fillings..

Quote by Henri Nouwen

“When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope” - Henri Nouwen

Modernity meets monasticism in Egypt's desert

Just thought this article was rather interesting:

AL ZAAFARANA, Egypt (Reuters) - A speck of green in a sea of sand, St. Anthony's Monastery in Egypt welcomes those seeking God in silence broken only by the whisper of the wind.

Monks at what is considered by many to be the world's oldest active Christian monastery still rise before dawn to chant and pray just as their predecessors did for more than 1,500 years.

Now, they also carry mobile phones, send e-mails and maintain a website (http://www.stanthonymonastery.org/), embracing modernity that has helped sustain the ancient monastery, nestled beside a spring where Egypt's eastern desert meets the craggy Red Sea mountains.

Read more here.

Phuket Trip (3) - 7-Eleven

If you are a coffee lover and you're in Phuket. You definitely should try some of this (pic). For only around RM2.10, you can get one of those huge size coffee and it tastes absolutely fantastic awesome! The one in the pic costs around RM1. It was so good that I did not regret not going to the Starbucks at Kata on one of our long walks. It was so good that on the way to the airport to come back to Malaysia, we told our taxi driver to stop by 7-Eleven so that we could buy one more of these coffees to share.


I must say that we found that we quite liked the 7-Eleven at Phuket. Other than selling beer and liquor(it took us a while to get used to it as we don't have that here in Malaysia), they sold lots of Tom Yum cup noodles which came in quite handy. There was also one 7-Eleven that sold toasted ham and cheese sandwiches which came in pretty handy on the first night after our long walk (Poor Lucy was so exhausted after that walk that she just sunk on the floor of 7-Eleven and told the cashier "Go ahead and laugh". Back at the hotel, we found out it was the first time in her life that she walked so much as she has never in her recollection walked more than half an hour before).

Phuket Trip (2) - food food food

Some food pics from Phuket trip..

Lucy and I were shopping at Phuket town when one of the local ladies gave us this fruit that we've never seen before - tasted sweet and sourish(a bit like duku langsat) but the fruit is a bit furrish..

Perhaps due to lots of tourists in Phuket, there seems to be pizza shops at every corner. The pizza (mushroom, egg, ham, etc) actually tastes better than it looks. It costs cheaper than in Malaysia too.


Lucy ordered this Thai curry with rice - it tasted absolutely fantastic..

We ate at our hotel on the second nite and the deals were really great. It cost less than RM16 for the fish and stuff. The food was really wonderful as well.

Liza was really keen on getting this Thai salad (it's sourish with papaya and raw crab and stuff) since we arrived. Much to the amusement of the ladies at our friends at the massage parlour AND the three of us, she finally found one a few doors away after searching high and low.

Another kind of thai salad. Tasted sourish and spicy too. Not too bad...

Pad Thai - a Thai specialty. It's noodles with eggs and beansprouts. Tasted a bit like our mamak mee goreng.

Phuket's version of pancake with chocolate and honey. Was really nice.. It's actually a bit like roti canai with chocolate and honey on top.

Semester break - back at home and the office

Have been back in the office for the last couple of days and have been spending time with my sister. I must say that though I'd rather be on holidays than be in the church office(my boss is coming in this afternoon to pile me with more work :p), it is rather nice to be here with the 'uncles' and 'aunties' - not to mention Leon and EJ. Someone gave us a KFC treat yesterday afternoon for lunch too *grin*.

Have also been able to spend a bit more of some quality time with my sister. In the face of workload at office and seminary as well as trying to intentionally minister to people, I suppose that there's a tendency to give to my family whatever that left of me (which tends to be very little or nothing at all). In view of the many potential changes ahead in our life as a family- our time together was a blessing.

Surrender -by Marc James

Dedicated to my brother Victor. This song reminds me of you.


I'm giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

CHORUS
And I surrender
All to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song
I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

Quote by Henri Nouwen

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God moulds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control."

Where am I going?

Am in semi-shock. Just been dropped a bombshell by senior pastor and find that I have much to think about. *sigh* Should've seen this coming as there seems to be a consistent pattern in my life - it always seem that when things settle, my world seems to be thrown upside down.

I've been thinking about life post-seminary - though I'm more or less sure what my overall calling is, I'm not sure when or how things will come to fruition. My conversation with pastor has thrown me into more confusion as it seems that another path has open up. It's a path that I've never envisioned myself taking as it goes outside my two main ministry - missions and worship - hence the shock and confusion. Now I'm wondering, is this really another possibility from God? Or it's just something that I'm getting worked up for naught? If it's another possibility, it looks like I have a very long wait coming - and those that know me well, know that I'm especially not very fond of waiting. :p

God, please help me to trust You in where you are taking me - and to be patient.

Phuket Trip - 1

These are some shots that I took from the plane just before we arrived in phuket. it's so beautiful - blue skies, sunny day and blue seas. It was just beautiful..

A little thanks to my principal

My Principal Dr Ezra Kok (pic - courtesy of LKY)

I remember that I used to be a little afraid of my principal in my first year. I'm now in my third year and I'm glad that I can every once in a while have a conversation with him about different stuff. He's also tried to give some interesting suggestions for my thesis proposal at the beginning of this sem - some of which I found to be quite funny. I remember too one of our conversation on women leadership - it was quite fun and I got to see a different side of my principal.

Just before the semester ended, I realised in the midst of all the busyness, that it's been a while since I've last had a chat with him so I decided to drop by his office for 10 mins on the second last day of semester. In the end I stayed on longer than I expected (I was 10 mins late for my next appointment). In our conversation - I told him about my and a couple of friends trip to Phuket which I just got back from.

The next day, as I was rushing around to pack my stuff, my principal called me to go to his office. To my surprise, he passed to me some of his 'loose change' (in thai baht) for my girlfriends and I for our trip. It was a lovely gesture from him - one which my girlfriends and I were quite appreciative of (it came in handy during the trip). ;) It has made me realise again and again that barring initial (terrifying) impressions, there's more to the lecturers (and principal) when we students too take the effort to know them.

Back from Phuket

Got back later than expected from Phuket yesterday due to flight delay (2 women and 3 children were denied visa by the Thai government and we had to wait for them as it was the responsibility of the flight carrier to take them back).

Am now back in the church office for the next few weeks. Am still a little tired from yesterday's travelling though - we took the ferry from Phi Phi island early in the morning, took the bus to Phuket town, travelled around in phuket town with a hired taxi, went to the airport and took the flight back, took the bus from LCCT to KL Sentral followed by the LRT to KJ station. :p

On the overall, it was a great trip. Will write more about it when I get my energy back and settle a bit more into my church work. More pics have been posted here.

Adventuring for the next couple of days

Will be leaving for Phuket,Thailand in the morning with a couple of my friends. It'll be sort of an adventure for the four of us as we've decided not to have any itinerary. We haven't even booked a place to stay yet- though we do have an idea of where we might want to go for the first nite.. From then on, it's go with the flow!

Some of my personal goals for the trip:

1) Rest

2) Go to the beach and takes lots of photos

3) Read one non-academic book ;)

4) Do some journalling and have some spiritual solitude

5) check out the local scene

6) Last but not least - have some great fellowship with my companions (Chin Ying, Liza and Lucy)

Inshallah, all these will be done.. :)

Down Memory Lane

I remember the times when I was a little girl and you came and visit us. I remember you taking the three of us out taking out for trips. I remember that I look forward to your visits. I remember how you made us feel on top of the world - when sometimes our childhood was hard. You definitely made my world a better place.

I remember thinking you are one of the nicest and kindest person I've ever met. How I looked up to you and how I wish that there were more people like you. Despite you not knowing the person I love the most, you seem to portray His qualities. In comparison to you, I seem to fall far short. I feel so frustrated sometimes because how do I show my Saviour to you when you seem to be like Him?

The years have come and gone. It has put the cloak of age on us - taking its toll in different ways. As I saw you today, my heart strings tugged really hard. As tears welled up in your eyes, it was hard for me to contain mine. It's as if because you found now have AD, every moment seems even more precious.

If something were to happen to you, I know a part of me will not be the same. I pray that you will know my Saviour. I love you - so very much. Though you struggle with being who you are today, you are so precious... I am praying for you with all my heart - and that it will not be too late.

Last prayer group meeting for this semester

It's been a while since I posted up some photos. Since I was finally in a mood to take some pics yesterday, I thought to post up my final prayer group meeting at the end of semester yesterday evening. Our meeting was over food (of course!).

Liza and Lee Yng with all the lovely food that we ate.

Lan Yin was missing as she had to attend her pastoral group dinner. Note to self - get a tripod.

To my prayer group girl friends,
You girls are the best! Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging - especially during my many lows this semester. I appreciate how you guys accept and love me as I am - warts and all. Love you all!!!

Total Praise

Been having another one of those songs that goes around in my head since this morning. I thought to post it up since it's relevant to the previous post.

Total Praise - Avalon
Lord, I will lift mine eyes to the hills
Knowing my help is coming from You
Your peace You give me in time of the storm

You are the source of my strength
You are the strength of my life
I lift my hands in total praise to You

Amen.

The storm

The storm is raging around. It shows no sign of abating - at least, not for next couple of days. Sometimes it's been hard to look up in the midst of the struggle of holding on and making sure nothing goes overboard. Yet, there is a sense of peace that assures me that You're still there. Would you please help me to keep on holding on till the storm blows over? That's all I ask...

Trinity Assignment- losing one's mind..

Came across this quote on the Trinity in Erickson's "Christian Theology" which I think is very apt as I try to finish up the assignment tonite:

"Try to explain it and you'll lose your mind
But try and deny it, and you'll lose your soul."

Biblical studies are preferred...

I think I'm inclined to agree with pearlie - especially on this post about theology vs biblical studies. I'm doing my Mark assignment and Theology paper(which I'll have to finish by tonite by hook or by crook) at the same time. When I compare the two, the nature of abstractness of theological jargon is just a big pain. Am doing a paper on the trinity - words such as substantia, persona, homoousin, ousia, consubstantiation, subordination, etc.. - have been spinning in my poor abused head. I have great respect for the way the early fathers such as Tertullian, Origen, the Cappadocian fathers and Augustine grapple with the issue of the Trinity. On my part, I am finding the Mark assignment (despite its own sets of difficulties) more of a joy in comparison.

I am looking forward to the end of this week. Have assignments to finish and exams to study throughout the week and am worship leading again this weekend. At this rate, I can't wait for my much needed vacation to Phuket with my girl friends next week!

I wonder...

If someone is employed to do a certain job - to take care of a specific department, say technical department, is it then not the job of the employee to be responsible that the department runs smoothly? If one of the people who are under that person is late, or cannot make it, would it not be the responsibility of the person to find a replacement or do the job? Would it be fair of the person to ask someone else from another department to do the job instead - especially when they have other roles already? Also, would it be fair for that person to be doing another job that is unrelated to his job, say customer care, while he it is still his working hours? What would happen if this was true in the corporate world?

Now we take the same scenario to the church. While we say the church is not a company, would such a behaviour be any more acceptable - just because it is the church? One of my close friend cheekily loves to say that because of our tendency to pay peanuts in the church or in Christian organisation, we get monkeys. As much as I hate to agree with him, sometimes I think he is right. I'm especially frustrated when such people affect others in ministry in ways that are negative and are seemingly insensitive to others. *sigh

The criteria of a disciple of Christ

For our Mark class, I have chosen to do an exegesis on the verses below. I thought to do this text in view of Easter as well as some discussions I've been having with my college group bunch. As I do the study on the text, I find it rather sobering and there's much to ponder about - especially in the how much we have ignored certain things in this text in our view of what a follower of Christ should be. As suggested by my lecturer, have been doing quite a fair bit of reading on the scope of 'denying oneself' and 'taking up the cross'. What I've come across have been rather mind boggling and definitely soul changing as I personally continue to grapple with the implications this verse have upon myself as well. Will *try* to write more on this in the coming days.

Mark 8:34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

One Desire

If I could have one desire
Before my life is through
Even in my darkest night
My light would shine for You

If I could stop the hands of time
Or make a wish come true
I would tell my heart to burn with fire
For no one else but You
This is my one desire

You are my saving grace
The anchor of my soul
And in a world that's turned upside down
I want you to know..

You are my faithful friend
The one that I lean on
You always understand
With all that I am
I give You the deepest devotion I know
With all of my strength
I won't let You go
As I look to You above
I will give You all my love

By Lenny Leblanc

Loving our neighbours

Last night we had a speaker, Michael William from FES on Hinduism in CUG. I must say that he was pretty good and flexible (and patient!) in sharing with the college group people. One thing I really appreciate about the college group is that they really have a lot of questions to ask about a topic that they don't know - and they are not afraid to ask it... This means that in the course of teaching them, the facilitator has just got to be prepared for detours. *grin

I learnt a few new things from last nite. Most of all, I appreciated the speaker's caution at the end of the sharing. He gently cautioned the college group that while we learn about hinduism, it should not be a point for the group to get puffed up with the new knowledge and to criticize the people of other faiths. Rather, it should serve as a reminder for us to love others and to understand where they come from. It strongly brought to mind about a talk that we had on Islam in STM last year and the impact it had on my life thereafter.

Galatians 5:14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Come what may

If wishes came true, I would not have any practical for this weekend
If wishes came true, someone else would be leading worship
If wishes came true, there would be no exams
If wishes came true, my assignments would magically complete on its own
If wishes came true, I'd have more time to sleep

However...
I still have my practical for this whole weekend
I'm still worship leading (was also just called to worship lead next Sunday) :p
I have to sit for THREE exams this week
I still have all my assignments to complete
I will have lack of sleep until my Phuket trip in more than one week's time.

So in the meantime,though I'll keep on wishing
I'll also keep on going with all the things that needs to be done
And learn to not give up and trust in Him who is with me in this time come what may...

Nonsensical Thoughts

I'm not a feminist or anything.. but after reading a few blogs, I realise something -we need more women bloggers in the STM english dept (see lah.. this is what happens when your brain has been immerged for too long in assignments.. something goes loose somewhere).

Most of STM women who are blogging are all in the chinese dept. Unfortunately, I cannot read any chinese. It also seems that most of the chinese dept ppl have more interesting things to write about (perhaps it's because I can't read what they write). :p

*sigh*.. need to find a way to encourage my fellow sisters in the english dept to blog. First things first though, need to work on getting the library to extend their evening hours till midnite (or preferably the whole nite - especially during exam periods)....

You can tell that students are really into their assignments when...

.... we start using our assignment topics as analogies in our conversations. :p

*in reference to my conversation with Chee Keat about our Theology assignment. He advocated the assignment on the problem of evil because of the Christological definition of power (the humbleness of Christ, his willingness to be one with us) and how that ministered to him. I counterargued that different things works differently for different people and therefore each person can do different assignments (inadvertantly referring to my assignment on Trinity - unity of Person or unity of Persons)... Swee Lang was just laughing away at our momentary banter. And we went back to our assignments...

Important rather than the urgent

For these two weeks (until next Thursday evening at least), the world has to come to a standstill as I immerse myself in the world of assignments and exam preparations (not forgetting the usual weekend practical which I wish I could forgo for once. However, it can only be a wish as I have the responsibility of caring for the College Uni group in the absence of my supervisor as well as worship leading this Sunday).

I've just *finally* finished my thesis proposal early this morning and am now planning to throw myself at full speed into the 'cost of discipleship' in Mark and 'Trinitarian views of the east and west' till the end of the of this week. At the end of all that I'll have to simultaneously study for Hebrew, Pastoral Leadership and Mark exams. Not to mention the stack of reflections I have to do for Pastoral Counselling. I am strongly reminded at times like these how idiotical I can be when it comes to procrastination sometimes - and how I seem to "like" living on the edge. On hindsight, while I could have gotten *some* of it done earlier, I suppose that other things would not have permitted it otherwise as so many urgent things have unexpectedly cropped up in the last couple of weeks. *sigh*

In the midst of all these challenges, I find myself very tempted to let my quiet time slide - if not for the voice of one of the lecturers in my head about 'the essentialness of quiet time especially during these time for a bible school student.' Though she gently chided us about this a couple of semesters back, her voice seems to strongly resonate in my head during the times when I am about to reach for my pile of work instead of reaching for my bible. It's in this time that I learn again to practice the important rather than just the urgent. Needless to say, for now, blogging may be at a standstill until the assignments are over.

Psalm 92 - A psalm. A song. For the Sabbath day.

It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High,
2 to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,
3 to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.
4 For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
5 How great are your works, O LORD, how profound your thoughts!
6 The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand,
7 that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish,
they will be forever destroyed.
8 But you, O LORD, are exalted forever.
9 For surely your enemies, O LORD, surely your enemies will perish;
all evildoers will be scattered.
10 You have exalted my horn {10 Horn here symbolizes strength.} like that of a wild ox;
fine oils have been poured upon me.
11 My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries;
my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.
12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
15 proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

When it comes to assignments...

... I can so identify with this.

Demonstration of God's Power

God's greatest demonstration of power- His ability to change us.

Who's car is parked on the walkway?

hmmm.... Don't tell me it belongs to a lecturer...

Didn't know this...

Was doing one of my assignments when I found out that...

Petai = Parkia speciosa, stink bean, twisted cluster bean, yongchaak

hehehe.. while it's not exactly one of my favourite foods (I'll eat it when other people put it in front of me), it was an interesting fact to find out.. .

Just for a little laugh

End of Semester blues...

It's two more weeks(!!!) till the end of semester and there's a rather large pile of assignments to be done and exams to prepare for. I can't wait for 17th of May to arrive - then again, the break does not look to be much of a break as I head back to the church office for 3 weeks to sort out the pile of stuff that's pending. :p My new deacon in charge does get rather enthusiastic and wants to change many things at once - it makes my head spin sometimes. My supervisor pastor being out of commission due to a fractured leg means added responsibilities. *sigh. As one of my good friends can probably identify - there's always more to do. As Bill Watterson(creator of Calvin and Hobbes) says, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." How true.

It's back to the two assignments that I need complete by today. *sigh

Quote for the day

Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone. ~Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie, I'd Kill for a Cookie