Phuket (4) - At the local food court

These are the last food pics of our Phuket trip that I'll be posting... On the last day that we were there, we managed to hire a taxi driver to take us around for the day and to then drive us to the airport. Just before we went to the airport, we wanted to go for lunch and asked the driver for some suggestions. He asked us what we had in mind and to his surprise we told him, "definitely not the restaurants that tourist go to. We want to go where local people go and eat." He asked us our budget and we told him less than 50 baht per person. At this, his eyes widened and he scrounge his face and thought of where he could possibily bring us. To our delight, he brought us to a local food court..

It was an interesting experience as the food sellers had to struggle to understand what we were asking them and vice versa - but we managed to order our food. Liza had more of her favourite Thai salad on top of Pad Thai. I had a really nice belacan fried rice -which the lady at the stall kept on warning me that it was very spicy. I really loved it. :) Below are the pics of some other interesting stuff at the food court..

Eggs being 'barbequed'

Pretty looking desert/snack

More fried deserts - similar to what we have in Malaysia - there's some pisang goreng (fried bananas) there somewhere

Local kuih-muih /desert

Not too sure what this stuff is - but looks like some rolled up pancake with fillings..

Quote by Henri Nouwen

“When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope” - Henri Nouwen

Modernity meets monasticism in Egypt's desert

Just thought this article was rather interesting:

AL ZAAFARANA, Egypt (Reuters) - A speck of green in a sea of sand, St. Anthony's Monastery in Egypt welcomes those seeking God in silence broken only by the whisper of the wind.

Monks at what is considered by many to be the world's oldest active Christian monastery still rise before dawn to chant and pray just as their predecessors did for more than 1,500 years.

Now, they also carry mobile phones, send e-mails and maintain a website (http://www.stanthonymonastery.org/), embracing modernity that has helped sustain the ancient monastery, nestled beside a spring where Egypt's eastern desert meets the craggy Red Sea mountains.

Read more here.

Phuket Trip (3) - 7-Eleven

If you are a coffee lover and you're in Phuket. You definitely should try some of this (pic). For only around RM2.10, you can get one of those huge size coffee and it tastes absolutely fantastic awesome! The one in the pic costs around RM1. It was so good that I did not regret not going to the Starbucks at Kata on one of our long walks. It was so good that on the way to the airport to come back to Malaysia, we told our taxi driver to stop by 7-Eleven so that we could buy one more of these coffees to share.


I must say that we found that we quite liked the 7-Eleven at Phuket. Other than selling beer and liquor(it took us a while to get used to it as we don't have that here in Malaysia), they sold lots of Tom Yum cup noodles which came in quite handy. There was also one 7-Eleven that sold toasted ham and cheese sandwiches which came in pretty handy on the first night after our long walk (Poor Lucy was so exhausted after that walk that she just sunk on the floor of 7-Eleven and told the cashier "Go ahead and laugh". Back at the hotel, we found out it was the first time in her life that she walked so much as she has never in her recollection walked more than half an hour before).

Phuket Trip (2) - food food food

Some food pics from Phuket trip..

Lucy and I were shopping at Phuket town when one of the local ladies gave us this fruit that we've never seen before - tasted sweet and sourish(a bit like duku langsat) but the fruit is a bit furrish..

Perhaps due to lots of tourists in Phuket, there seems to be pizza shops at every corner. The pizza (mushroom, egg, ham, etc) actually tastes better than it looks. It costs cheaper than in Malaysia too.


Lucy ordered this Thai curry with rice - it tasted absolutely fantastic..

We ate at our hotel on the second nite and the deals were really great. It cost less than RM16 for the fish and stuff. The food was really wonderful as well.

Liza was really keen on getting this Thai salad (it's sourish with papaya and raw crab and stuff) since we arrived. Much to the amusement of the ladies at our friends at the massage parlour AND the three of us, she finally found one a few doors away after searching high and low.

Another kind of thai salad. Tasted sourish and spicy too. Not too bad...

Pad Thai - a Thai specialty. It's noodles with eggs and beansprouts. Tasted a bit like our mamak mee goreng.

Phuket's version of pancake with chocolate and honey. Was really nice.. It's actually a bit like roti canai with chocolate and honey on top.

Semester break - back at home and the office

Have been back in the office for the last couple of days and have been spending time with my sister. I must say that though I'd rather be on holidays than be in the church office(my boss is coming in this afternoon to pile me with more work :p), it is rather nice to be here with the 'uncles' and 'aunties' - not to mention Leon and EJ. Someone gave us a KFC treat yesterday afternoon for lunch too *grin*.

Have also been able to spend a bit more of some quality time with my sister. In the face of workload at office and seminary as well as trying to intentionally minister to people, I suppose that there's a tendency to give to my family whatever that left of me (which tends to be very little or nothing at all). In view of the many potential changes ahead in our life as a family- our time together was a blessing.

Surrender -by Marc James

Dedicated to my brother Victor. This song reminds me of you.


I'm giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

CHORUS
And I surrender
All to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song
I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

Quote by Henri Nouwen

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God moulds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control."

Where am I going?

Am in semi-shock. Just been dropped a bombshell by senior pastor and find that I have much to think about. *sigh* Should've seen this coming as there seems to be a consistent pattern in my life - it always seem that when things settle, my world seems to be thrown upside down.

I've been thinking about life post-seminary - though I'm more or less sure what my overall calling is, I'm not sure when or how things will come to fruition. My conversation with pastor has thrown me into more confusion as it seems that another path has open up. It's a path that I've never envisioned myself taking as it goes outside my two main ministry - missions and worship - hence the shock and confusion. Now I'm wondering, is this really another possibility from God? Or it's just something that I'm getting worked up for naught? If it's another possibility, it looks like I have a very long wait coming - and those that know me well, know that I'm especially not very fond of waiting. :p

God, please help me to trust You in where you are taking me - and to be patient.

Phuket Trip - 1

These are some shots that I took from the plane just before we arrived in phuket. it's so beautiful - blue skies, sunny day and blue seas. It was just beautiful..

A little thanks to my principal

My Principal Dr Ezra Kok (pic - courtesy of LKY)

I remember that I used to be a little afraid of my principal in my first year. I'm now in my third year and I'm glad that I can every once in a while have a conversation with him about different stuff. He's also tried to give some interesting suggestions for my thesis proposal at the beginning of this sem - some of which I found to be quite funny. I remember too one of our conversation on women leadership - it was quite fun and I got to see a different side of my principal.

Just before the semester ended, I realised in the midst of all the busyness, that it's been a while since I've last had a chat with him so I decided to drop by his office for 10 mins on the second last day of semester. In the end I stayed on longer than I expected (I was 10 mins late for my next appointment). In our conversation - I told him about my and a couple of friends trip to Phuket which I just got back from.

The next day, as I was rushing around to pack my stuff, my principal called me to go to his office. To my surprise, he passed to me some of his 'loose change' (in thai baht) for my girlfriends and I for our trip. It was a lovely gesture from him - one which my girlfriends and I were quite appreciative of (it came in handy during the trip). ;) It has made me realise again and again that barring initial (terrifying) impressions, there's more to the lecturers (and principal) when we students too take the effort to know them.

Back from Phuket

Got back later than expected from Phuket yesterday due to flight delay (2 women and 3 children were denied visa by the Thai government and we had to wait for them as it was the responsibility of the flight carrier to take them back).

Am now back in the church office for the next few weeks. Am still a little tired from yesterday's travelling though - we took the ferry from Phi Phi island early in the morning, took the bus to Phuket town, travelled around in phuket town with a hired taxi, went to the airport and took the flight back, took the bus from LCCT to KL Sentral followed by the LRT to KJ station. :p

On the overall, it was a great trip. Will write more about it when I get my energy back and settle a bit more into my church work. More pics have been posted here.

Adventuring for the next couple of days

Will be leaving for Phuket,Thailand in the morning with a couple of my friends. It'll be sort of an adventure for the four of us as we've decided not to have any itinerary. We haven't even booked a place to stay yet- though we do have an idea of where we might want to go for the first nite.. From then on, it's go with the flow!

Some of my personal goals for the trip:

1) Rest

2) Go to the beach and takes lots of photos

3) Read one non-academic book ;)

4) Do some journalling and have some spiritual solitude

5) check out the local scene

6) Last but not least - have some great fellowship with my companions (Chin Ying, Liza and Lucy)

Inshallah, all these will be done.. :)

Down Memory Lane

I remember the times when I was a little girl and you came and visit us. I remember you taking the three of us out taking out for trips. I remember that I look forward to your visits. I remember how you made us feel on top of the world - when sometimes our childhood was hard. You definitely made my world a better place.

I remember thinking you are one of the nicest and kindest person I've ever met. How I looked up to you and how I wish that there were more people like you. Despite you not knowing the person I love the most, you seem to portray His qualities. In comparison to you, I seem to fall far short. I feel so frustrated sometimes because how do I show my Saviour to you when you seem to be like Him?

The years have come and gone. It has put the cloak of age on us - taking its toll in different ways. As I saw you today, my heart strings tugged really hard. As tears welled up in your eyes, it was hard for me to contain mine. It's as if because you found now have AD, every moment seems even more precious.

If something were to happen to you, I know a part of me will not be the same. I pray that you will know my Saviour. I love you - so very much. Though you struggle with being who you are today, you are so precious... I am praying for you with all my heart - and that it will not be too late.

Last prayer group meeting for this semester

It's been a while since I posted up some photos. Since I was finally in a mood to take some pics yesterday, I thought to post up my final prayer group meeting at the end of semester yesterday evening. Our meeting was over food (of course!).

Liza and Lee Yng with all the lovely food that we ate.

Lan Yin was missing as she had to attend her pastoral group dinner. Note to self - get a tripod.

To my prayer group girl friends,
You girls are the best! Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging - especially during my many lows this semester. I appreciate how you guys accept and love me as I am - warts and all. Love you all!!!

Total Praise

Been having another one of those songs that goes around in my head since this morning. I thought to post it up since it's relevant to the previous post.

Total Praise - Avalon
Lord, I will lift mine eyes to the hills
Knowing my help is coming from You
Your peace You give me in time of the storm

You are the source of my strength
You are the strength of my life
I lift my hands in total praise to You

Amen.

The storm

The storm is raging around. It shows no sign of abating - at least, not for next couple of days. Sometimes it's been hard to look up in the midst of the struggle of holding on and making sure nothing goes overboard. Yet, there is a sense of peace that assures me that You're still there. Would you please help me to keep on holding on till the storm blows over? That's all I ask...

Trinity Assignment- losing one's mind..

Came across this quote on the Trinity in Erickson's "Christian Theology" which I think is very apt as I try to finish up the assignment tonite:

"Try to explain it and you'll lose your mind
But try and deny it, and you'll lose your soul."

Biblical studies are preferred...

I think I'm inclined to agree with pearlie - especially on this post about theology vs biblical studies. I'm doing my Mark assignment and Theology paper(which I'll have to finish by tonite by hook or by crook) at the same time. When I compare the two, the nature of abstractness of theological jargon is just a big pain. Am doing a paper on the trinity - words such as substantia, persona, homoousin, ousia, consubstantiation, subordination, etc.. - have been spinning in my poor abused head. I have great respect for the way the early fathers such as Tertullian, Origen, the Cappadocian fathers and Augustine grapple with the issue of the Trinity. On my part, I am finding the Mark assignment (despite its own sets of difficulties) more of a joy in comparison.

I am looking forward to the end of this week. Have assignments to finish and exams to study throughout the week and am worship leading again this weekend. At this rate, I can't wait for my much needed vacation to Phuket with my girl friends next week!

I wonder...

If someone is employed to do a certain job - to take care of a specific department, say technical department, is it then not the job of the employee to be responsible that the department runs smoothly? If one of the people who are under that person is late, or cannot make it, would it not be the responsibility of the person to find a replacement or do the job? Would it be fair of the person to ask someone else from another department to do the job instead - especially when they have other roles already? Also, would it be fair for that person to be doing another job that is unrelated to his job, say customer care, while he it is still his working hours? What would happen if this was true in the corporate world?

Now we take the same scenario to the church. While we say the church is not a company, would such a behaviour be any more acceptable - just because it is the church? One of my close friend cheekily loves to say that because of our tendency to pay peanuts in the church or in Christian organisation, we get monkeys. As much as I hate to agree with him, sometimes I think he is right. I'm especially frustrated when such people affect others in ministry in ways that are negative and are seemingly insensitive to others. *sigh

The criteria of a disciple of Christ

For our Mark class, I have chosen to do an exegesis on the verses below. I thought to do this text in view of Easter as well as some discussions I've been having with my college group bunch. As I do the study on the text, I find it rather sobering and there's much to ponder about - especially in the how much we have ignored certain things in this text in our view of what a follower of Christ should be. As suggested by my lecturer, have been doing quite a fair bit of reading on the scope of 'denying oneself' and 'taking up the cross'. What I've come across have been rather mind boggling and definitely soul changing as I personally continue to grapple with the implications this verse have upon myself as well. Will *try* to write more on this in the coming days.

Mark 8:34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

One Desire

If I could have one desire
Before my life is through
Even in my darkest night
My light would shine for You

If I could stop the hands of time
Or make a wish come true
I would tell my heart to burn with fire
For no one else but You
This is my one desire

You are my saving grace
The anchor of my soul
And in a world that's turned upside down
I want you to know..

You are my faithful friend
The one that I lean on
You always understand
With all that I am
I give You the deepest devotion I know
With all of my strength
I won't let You go
As I look to You above
I will give You all my love

By Lenny Leblanc

Loving our neighbours

Last night we had a speaker, Michael William from FES on Hinduism in CUG. I must say that he was pretty good and flexible (and patient!) in sharing with the college group people. One thing I really appreciate about the college group is that they really have a lot of questions to ask about a topic that they don't know - and they are not afraid to ask it... This means that in the course of teaching them, the facilitator has just got to be prepared for detours. *grin

I learnt a few new things from last nite. Most of all, I appreciated the speaker's caution at the end of the sharing. He gently cautioned the college group that while we learn about hinduism, it should not be a point for the group to get puffed up with the new knowledge and to criticize the people of other faiths. Rather, it should serve as a reminder for us to love others and to understand where they come from. It strongly brought to mind about a talk that we had on Islam in STM last year and the impact it had on my life thereafter.

Galatians 5:14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Come what may

If wishes came true, I would not have any practical for this weekend
If wishes came true, someone else would be leading worship
If wishes came true, there would be no exams
If wishes came true, my assignments would magically complete on its own
If wishes came true, I'd have more time to sleep

However...
I still have my practical for this whole weekend
I'm still worship leading (was also just called to worship lead next Sunday) :p
I have to sit for THREE exams this week
I still have all my assignments to complete
I will have lack of sleep until my Phuket trip in more than one week's time.

So in the meantime,though I'll keep on wishing
I'll also keep on going with all the things that needs to be done
And learn to not give up and trust in Him who is with me in this time come what may...

Nonsensical Thoughts

I'm not a feminist or anything.. but after reading a few blogs, I realise something -we need more women bloggers in the STM english dept (see lah.. this is what happens when your brain has been immerged for too long in assignments.. something goes loose somewhere).

Most of STM women who are blogging are all in the chinese dept. Unfortunately, I cannot read any chinese. It also seems that most of the chinese dept ppl have more interesting things to write about (perhaps it's because I can't read what they write). :p

*sigh*.. need to find a way to encourage my fellow sisters in the english dept to blog. First things first though, need to work on getting the library to extend their evening hours till midnite (or preferably the whole nite - especially during exam periods)....

You can tell that students are really into their assignments when...

.... we start using our assignment topics as analogies in our conversations. :p

*in reference to my conversation with Chee Keat about our Theology assignment. He advocated the assignment on the problem of evil because of the Christological definition of power (the humbleness of Christ, his willingness to be one with us) and how that ministered to him. I counterargued that different things works differently for different people and therefore each person can do different assignments (inadvertantly referring to my assignment on Trinity - unity of Person or unity of Persons)... Swee Lang was just laughing away at our momentary banter. And we went back to our assignments...

Important rather than the urgent

For these two weeks (until next Thursday evening at least), the world has to come to a standstill as I immerse myself in the world of assignments and exam preparations (not forgetting the usual weekend practical which I wish I could forgo for once. However, it can only be a wish as I have the responsibility of caring for the College Uni group in the absence of my supervisor as well as worship leading this Sunday).

I've just *finally* finished my thesis proposal early this morning and am now planning to throw myself at full speed into the 'cost of discipleship' in Mark and 'Trinitarian views of the east and west' till the end of the of this week. At the end of all that I'll have to simultaneously study for Hebrew, Pastoral Leadership and Mark exams. Not to mention the stack of reflections I have to do for Pastoral Counselling. I am strongly reminded at times like these how idiotical I can be when it comes to procrastination sometimes - and how I seem to "like" living on the edge. On hindsight, while I could have gotten *some* of it done earlier, I suppose that other things would not have permitted it otherwise as so many urgent things have unexpectedly cropped up in the last couple of weeks. *sigh*

In the midst of all these challenges, I find myself very tempted to let my quiet time slide - if not for the voice of one of the lecturers in my head about 'the essentialness of quiet time especially during these time for a bible school student.' Though she gently chided us about this a couple of semesters back, her voice seems to strongly resonate in my head during the times when I am about to reach for my pile of work instead of reaching for my bible. It's in this time that I learn again to practice the important rather than just the urgent. Needless to say, for now, blogging may be at a standstill until the assignments are over.

Psalm 92 - A psalm. A song. For the Sabbath day.

It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High,
2 to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,
3 to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.
4 For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
5 How great are your works, O LORD, how profound your thoughts!
6 The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand,
7 that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish,
they will be forever destroyed.
8 But you, O LORD, are exalted forever.
9 For surely your enemies, O LORD, surely your enemies will perish;
all evildoers will be scattered.
10 You have exalted my horn {10 Horn here symbolizes strength.} like that of a wild ox;
fine oils have been poured upon me.
11 My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries;
my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.
12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
15 proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

When it comes to assignments...

... I can so identify with this.

Demonstration of God's Power

God's greatest demonstration of power- His ability to change us.

Who's car is parked on the walkway?

hmmm.... Don't tell me it belongs to a lecturer...

Didn't know this...

Was doing one of my assignments when I found out that...

Petai = Parkia speciosa, stink bean, twisted cluster bean, yongchaak

hehehe.. while it's not exactly one of my favourite foods (I'll eat it when other people put it in front of me), it was an interesting fact to find out.. .

Just for a little laugh

End of Semester blues...

It's two more weeks(!!!) till the end of semester and there's a rather large pile of assignments to be done and exams to prepare for. I can't wait for 17th of May to arrive - then again, the break does not look to be much of a break as I head back to the church office for 3 weeks to sort out the pile of stuff that's pending. :p My new deacon in charge does get rather enthusiastic and wants to change many things at once - it makes my head spin sometimes. My supervisor pastor being out of commission due to a fractured leg means added responsibilities. *sigh. As one of my good friends can probably identify - there's always more to do. As Bill Watterson(creator of Calvin and Hobbes) says, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." How true.

It's back to the two assignments that I need complete by today. *sigh

Quote for the day

Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone. ~Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie, I'd Kill for a Cookie

Friends...

Have been going jogging(more like half walking, half jogging) with a couple of my friends yesterday and today. Hahaha. Don't know how long this will last, but I know it's definitely good for me - despite my aching legs. :p Vic Cern and Andrew have been great jogging companions. Despite the fact that Andrew can rather be a tyrant sometimes (he jabs me when I slow down or when he thinks I should go on - and even found a stick today to threaten me :p), the fact that I know that he and VC means well and that they are willing to slow down for my sake pushes me to push myself a little bit more.

I also enjoy our conversations as we talk about different stuff - sometimes nonsense, sometimes about mutual friends and sometimes about issues in ministry. Today, one of them pointed out something I said to someone and how I could have done it differently. I did not realise then that I sounded quite mean as I did not mean it that way. I really appreciated the correction. I am glad to have friends like them.

Tremble

Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There's something I've neglected
How does one approach a Deity with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

'Cause You came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it's easy to forget You left a throne
And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine and it's hard to know the difference

CHORUS
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I'd appear
Even slightly cavalier in the matter of salvation
Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take with such little hesitation?

'Cause you came and stood among the very least of us
And it's easy to forget you left a throne

BRIDGE
The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love
Oh let me forget to tremble...
Oh let me forget to tremble...

Conversation of the heart

Hi...
It's been a while..
It's funny but..
Until I heard Your voice again this evening
I didn't realise how much I really really really needed to hear from You

It has not been the best of times recently
And it's been really hard to look up
Pain, confusion, chaos, sadness, guilt, bewilderment, hurt, lostness
They have been my almost constant companion
I have almost forgotten what it's like to be without them
My head hung low

Good friends bring a measure of comfort
And I am very thankful for them
For I know they come from You
Without them, the grey world would be black as night

Yet, who can compare to You?
Your words bring peace like no other
Like a balm soothing a wound
Like a cooling breeze on a scorching day
Like the quenching of a deep thirst

If only for a moment, I was lifted up
Everything else seemed to matter no longer
Listening to Your voice became everything
And it restored hope to a desolate soul

My heart was thrilled, estatic, joyful, elated when I was reminded
How great You are
How You are the God who created the great stars of the universe
How small I am in the scale of things - almost insignificant really
And yet, I matter to You in ways that I still cannot comprehend - cannot understand
I am amazed - in awe
As Your love once again becomes so tangible
How I wish I could give You more
More than this brokeness that makes me who I am
I can only love You back in all my finiteness

Quote of St Augustine

*Came across this quote this evening when I was listening to Louie Giglio's sermon on "How Great is our God"

Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.

-St Augustine

On CUG

My friends at College Uni Group never fail to amaze me. Every Friday, as I go and help them out, it seems that there is much for me to learn from them as well.

Last Friday, we had a bible study discussion on James 2 - about how 'Actions speak louder than words'. It was also to encourage them not to show favouritism and to look beyond themselves and their cliques - and welcoming especially those on the fringes of the group and newcomers. They had a lively discussion and I was asked to summarise the bible study session. Their honesty and their openess amazed me. Though it had always been unspoken, they shared about their fears and their struggles to look beyond themselves - some profess that they don't feel like belonging, some confessed that they just have not done what they knew they were supposed to do, others shared that they feared that they will be stuck with the responsibility and do not know what to do with the person after a while. What really moved me even more was they were willing to TRY to change together. Like I told them, I think they're an amazing bunch of people. I feel privileged to be able to serve them no matter how tired I am.

I look forward to see what they are going to be up to tonite...

Quote from Bonhoeffer

It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human commander than to suffer in the freedom of an act undertaken purely on one’s own responsibility.
It is infinitely easier to suffer in community than to suffer in loneliness.
It is infinitely easier to suffer openly and in honour than to suffer apart and in shame.
It is infinitely easier to suffer by risking one’s physical life than to suffer in the spirit.
Christ suffered in freedom, in loneliness, apart and in shame, in body and in spirit,
And many Christians have since suffered with him.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Verse for the day

Don't ask me why, but I tend to get rather melancholy whenever I have to write assignments. This semester's no different (and it's worse in some ways. :p). Was reminded of this verse yesterday in the midst of my assignment.

Quote for the day

“The flower that follows the sun does so even in cloudy days” - Robert Leighton

Collect for today

Almighty god, whom truly to know is everlasting life: Grant us so perfectly to know thy Son Jesus Christ to be the way, the truth, and the life, that we may steadfastly follow his steps in the way that leads to eternal life; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Some Useful Free Softwares for Writing Papers

The other day, in thesis methodology class, one of my friend showed me some really helpful FREE softwares that one could use for writing papers.

a. Q10 - Being a person who's just so easily distracted, I was especially delighted with 'q10' -an answer to my prayers. It's an editor that blanks out the rest of the screen and makes you just focus on the text that you're writing on. It also has features such as alarm clock that you can set so that you can finish a set amount of words in the allocated time and keeps track of your progress.

b. Free mind- this is a rather good programme for those people who like to do mind mapping.

c. Jabref - a software that helps you to keep track of bibliographies. You can also link PDF files to the database. I think it takes a fair bit of memory space cos it does slow down the computer. Nevertheless, it's very helpful.

d. LaTex - This software brought me back to the time when I was studying computer programming. Had to use this in our Computer science department to write our big papers. It's not WYSIWYG and it does require one to be a bit more technical. Nevertheless, it's really really awesome programme for writing huge papers and books. The beauty of this is that you don't have to worry about formatting and all you have to do is to just concentrate on the texts! Am planning to get reacquainted with this programme during the holidays - am thinking that it might be useful for writing thesis.

Starbucks and government servant

Went to Starbucks again today(*Sigh. It's terrible. Have been going there every week now that they've conveniently moved across the street from my church office). Had lunch at the church concourse as the staff were invited to have pizza with the Alpha people. After a quick lunch, Kar Yong and I went back to the office to get work done (incidentally I spent most of my day packing the Worship Ministry stuff as the office will be renovated over the next month. :p).

After a few minutes back in the office, Kar Yong wanted to have some coffee (as usual.. *grin*). He also invited Leon, a friend and colleague, to join us. Was rather tickled when Leon said to Kar Yong 'Didn't you just come back from lunch? You sound like a government servant.'

Hahahhahahahah.... Kar Yong being a government servant is somehow so hilarious.... hahahhaha

Breakfast at STM

*Author's note: This post is dedicated to Perng Shyang as I've almost gave in to the thought of NOT writing it. However, knowing that you've been waiting for this post keeps me from giving up. ;)

Students at my seminary take turns to prepare breakfast. While lunch and dinner is prepared by the cook, breakfast is the only meal that we have some sort of autonomy to decide what we would like to have. Preparing breakfast is a part of our duties as we live as a community. We usually have the option of either ordering or cooking for everyone. Of course, it's just much more convenient to order food. So we'd usually end up having nasi lemak, fried rice, fried mee hoon, big pau, loh mai kai, kueh, siew pau, egg tarts, wan tan mee, etc...

As for me, when it gets to my turn, I usually opt for cooking breakfast. Perhaps it's because of the fact that my mum used to be a caterer, cooking breakfast for 70-100 is not too daunting. I'm also always thankful for my prayer group girls(left pic) who have been my willing helpers and partners in crime. Because of them, it's possible for me to serve Western breakfast at STM instead.

Last Monday, it was my turn again. Decided to add bacon to the menu as I normally only cook chicken sausages and scrambled eggs. In the end, we had scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, baked beans, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and bread (Picture above).

Personally, I found everyone's reaction quite amusing. First of all, I had two 'policemen'(right pic) who helped me monitor the food (to make sure that everyone took their fair share -1 bacon, 1 sausages and 1 scoop of scrambled eggs). They were also waiting for their opportunity to take extras should anyone not claim their share. :p

Also, there were quite a fair bit of people who not only turned up for breakfast for a Monday (most students usually opt to sleep in or go out for breakfast), but were willing to wait half an hour so they could have leftovers. One of my prayer group girlfriend told me that she was amazed that everything was finished by 9am as there are usually always leftovers. Hahahhaa....

Personally, I always find the effort worthwhile. I'm very encouraged by the people who come extra early for breakfast (I was quite surprised that a few ppl showed up 15 mins before breakfast time. The food wasn't even ready yet. *grin). One of my friends who found out that there was going to be bacon for breakfast got his sister-in-law to save some for him till he got back to STM. Hehehe. Also, the very appreciative audience always spur me to keep on going. It's a small thing, but I'm glad that I can be a blessing to my fellow seminarians in this small way. (Right pic - a satisfied looking STMer. ;) )

Quote on Providence

“What in me is dark, Illumine, what is low, raise and support, That to the height of this great argument I may assert eternal Providence, And justify the ways of God to men.” - John Milton

What I forgot...

Sometimes things happens that makes one feel bewildered and slightly lost. The world as one knows it no longer seems familiar - everything seems upside down. What was once comforting, now seems hostile. Where does one go from there? The usual routes doesn't seem viable any longer. How does one get up and go on? The very ground that you used to stand on, once firm, now seems shaky. What you once thought you knew with certainty, now you are no longer sure.

Does anyone really care? Understand even? CAN they really? Friends and family bring whatever comfort that they can - sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Even if it does, it seems temporary.

One of my good pastor friend once told me, if you look closely, you'd realise that it's during those time when you are wandering in the desert that He works His miracles. You see Him more clearly than at any other time.

In chapel today, one of my prayer partner, Lucy, chose this song, "Allah Mengerti, Allah Peduli." (God understands, He cares). Felt like I was hit hard with this truth. This morning in theology class, I was reminded again of how we ARE significant to God. Where things no longer make sense, the fact is, He is there. He understands and He does care - no matter how alone, how out of whack, how insignificant, how lost, how painful, how hopeless we feel. In my moment of stupidity, I forgot...

Allah Mengerti, Allah Peduli

Banyak perkara yang tak dapat kumengerti
Mengapa harus terjadi di dalam kehidupan ini
There are many things that I don't understand why it has to happen in this life

Satu perkara yang ku simpan dalam hati
Tiada satu pun 'kan terjadi tanpa Allah peduli
One thing I keep in my heart- nothing will happen without God caring

Chorus:
Allah mengerti, Allah peduli
Segala persoalan yang kita hadapi
Tak akan pernah dibiarkannya ku bergumul sendiri
Sebab Allah Mengerti
God understands, He cares
About all the challenges/questions that we face
He will never let me wrestle alone
Because God understands

Some things just don't change...

It's already Friday!! This weekend looks like another particularly terribly busy weekend doing ministry. Meetings to attend, attending practice for Sunday, emails to send out, helping out at CUG, preparing for bible study, packing up stuff at the office, etc... How does one cram doing all these things over tonite and tomorrow till 5pm? :p

Every month, students are usually required to write a reflection paper about their 'practical'/field education during weekends. Mr Allen, one of my lecturers usually reads through our reflection paper and comments on it. Just last week, he told me that he was clearing some of the things in his office and came across one of my reflection papers that I handed up to him two years ago. Apparently that particular reflection paper was about busy-ness in ministry. He cheekily told me 'Ruth, I think that paper still applies to you.' Tongue in cheek, I told him, 'Yeah, I think that as long as I'm in ministry in the church, I'll forever be busy.....' :S

A collect

A friend reminded me of one of my favourite collect that we use for the evening Anglican chapel and I thought it was rather apt as we struggle through assignments. Also, thought of my pastor whom I am very fond of who fell down last saturday and fractured his femur bone.

Lighten our darkness,
Lord, we pray,
and in your great mercy
defend us from all perils and dangers of this night
for the love of your only Son,
our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Article on Cairo

A friend from church sent me this article: "A city where you can't hear yourself scream".. Thought to post it as it brought back fond memories of Cairo... ;)

CAIRO: Egyptians in this capital city say it is harder and harder to be heard and to have a voice, but they are not talking politics. Well, not only politics.

What they are talking about, or rather yelling about, is noise, the incredible background noise of a city crammed with 18 million people, and millions of drivers who always have one hand on the horn and a rules-free way of thinking.

"Whenever I talk to people, they always say, 'Why are you screaming?' " said Salah Abdul Hamid, 56, a barber whose two-chair shop is on the corner of a busy street on the north side.
Hamid was, of course, screaming.

It was 4 p.m. in Rhode al Farag, a typical Cairo neighborhood teeming with people and shops and cars and trucks and buses and horse-drawn carts. From his shop, the landscape of sound revealed a chorus of people struggling to make a living, trying to assert themselves in a city, and in a country, where they often feel invisible. (Read more here..)

Hard pressed...

Feeling hard pressed on every side
There's the pile of assignments screaming for attention
The never ending demands of ministering in church
People to meet and minister to
Friends and family to spend time with
Issues to be resolved

How is Your voice heard in the midst of the roar?
Where Your words speaks, it seems to be drowned next by the demands of life
Time with You seems so inadequate
The soul barely rests in You before moving on
It longs for green pastures, for the quiet waters
For restoration....

Ps 23
The LORD is my shepherd
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Thoughts...

I've decided to take a break from my assignment that I've been attempting to write the whole day. 'Attempting' being the operative word as I have ended up staring in the screen and blanking out most of the time. It's most distressing as I've been trying to finish this paper for a couple of weeks and am just pushing myself to finish it by the morning. *sigh*

At this rate, it might be an impossibility unless some miracle happens in the next few hours. *sigh*. I remember that in my first year, I used to wonder if I'll last these four years. Eventually, I got over that as I got used to life in seminary. However, writing this paper seems to bring out that particular ugly head again. :p It doesn't help that I seem to feel tired all the time either. Last weekend has been a particular long one. This weekend looks no different either.

Positiveness has been a little bit harder to come by the last few weeks and there are stretches of days where gloominess seems to be my companion. There's the dreaded feeling of everything just stagnating. My pastor and another friend assures me that it's a phase that I just have to go through for now - and to keep on pushing to keep on going in spite of everything. It's probably because I struggle as I continue to learn to let God mould me. Some days are harder than others. Times that I have to myself to think and pray things through seems like a trial. Nevertheless, I am trying to put one foot forward after another (just like trying to keep on going on despite staring blankly at the screen :p). By His grace, i'll continue taking the next step. Guess I'll have to continue with that particular struggle and get back to that assignment too.

Memories...

My sister Nicole wrote a beautiful poem entitled 'Ancient voices'. I really love the poem and it brought back many wonderful memories about the country of my heart as well as the great need there.

I miss the time and space I had there. In contrast, everything seems so busy here - one thing seems to come after another. I still miss the culture where people drop everything just to be with people- the friendly and interesting taxi drivers, the daily scenes as you walk along the streets of Cairo. I still miss the people and the friends that I've made there. It's been three months since I've been home and sometimes my time there seems like a dream. At other times, very vivid memories and faces come to mind - the language school I attended, my beloved teacher, my family members, the beautiful children, my housemates, my church members, the laughter, the adventure of each new day, the rides on the microbuses with a friend, visitation to an old lady from church - and I find myself longing to be back there once again...

Quote for the day

Liked this quote from chapel service today...

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr

Service to Remember Martin Luther King Jr

This morning we had a chapel service to remember Martin Luther King Jr's contribution. A lot of emphasis was placed on how he was an agent of change and spoke out for justice. Definitely something to challenge us as we continue following Christ.

As part of the service, we sang negro spirituals songs and I really loved the songs that my friend Lee Yng led. One of my friends said she was really moved when were singing the song Kum Ba Yah (Come By Here). I agree with her. It was really beautiful.

Personally, my favourite song was 'Let Us Break Bread Together'. Thought to put the lyrics up here:

Let us break bread together on our knees (on our knees)
Let us break bread together on our knees (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun
O Lord have mercy on me

Let us drink wine together on our knees (on our knees)
Let us drink wine together on our knees (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun
O Lord have mercy on me.

Eating and fellowship...

Feeling quite stuffed. Just came back from the Marriage and Counselling class (even though technically I'm not enrolled for that class today). I was invited by the lecturer to join them for their 'makan' session(pic left) at the end of the class as it's the final session for the semester. The lecturer, Getrude Buck and her husband Erwin Buck (who's my Mark class lecturer) will be heading for their home back in Canada this weekend. It's been great to have them with us and they've been a blessing to us in STM - wished that they could've stayed longer so that we could get to know them better.

Tonite, there were lots of cheese, crackers, fruits, dips, date squares, cookies, brownies,spring rolls, dumplings, etc... It was quite lovely. I cheekily told one of the lecturers who attends the class- 'how nice it'd be if we did this for every class at the end of the semester.' We'd have lots of eating and fellowship time. ;)

Quote

"I'd rather struggle as a single than be unhappily married." - a friend

Got Tagged: List of 5s

I have been tagged by Kar Yong to do this list of 5's thingy. Thought I better do this before I end up not doing it at all(just like the time when I kena tagged by Pearlie :p )..

For those that i've tagged and are going to be doing too. The rules are:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player than tags 5 people and posts their names, than goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they done got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

What was I doing 10 years ago (March 1998)?
- I was studying SAM(South Australian Matriculation) in Taylor's college (wow - issit 10 years already! feels like it was just yesterday).
- Deciding what I'd be studying the following year in Uni and in which Uni...
- Praying hard that I'd have the opportunity to study in Australia the following year .
- Hanging out with my close college friends(we were a multicultural group - chinese, indian and malay) and doing crazy stuff together(man.. those were the days).
- 3rd year serving as a pianist in church.

5 things on my to-do list today
1. Do my Hebrew homework
2. Do my counselling assignment
3. Work on my theology assignment
4. Do some church work (prepare for several important meetings on Saturday and Sunday service stuff)
5. Prepare for presentation for Cross Cultural missions class

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. Ice Cream (my absolute favourite!!!)
2. Potato Chips (Lays, Ruffles and Kettle - what to do, the nice ones are expensive...)
3. Chocolate cookies (Tim Tams, Chocolate chips, etc...)
4. Curry Puffs
5. Keropoks (Prawn Crackers and Keropok Lekor)

5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire
1. Support missionaries serving among unreached people groups
2. Support Bible Schools in 3rd world countries
3. Support friends that I know who are serving God full time and struggling financially
4. Buy books and bible softwares
5. Travel around the world

5 of my bad habits
1. Procrastination
2. Snacking when I get stressed out
3. Read till late into the night when I'm interested in a story (despite knowing that I have to wake up early the next day and have lots of work)
4. Doing everything else other than what I should be doing (did I mention procrastinating!?!)
5. Get really engrossed in my favourite TV series (I'll be watching hours upon hours until I've finished the whole season) :p

5 places I have lived
1. Klang (when I was a toddler)
2. My current house in Petaling Jaya
3. Melbourne, Australia (while I was studying in Melbourne Uni)
4. Seremban (while studying in Seminary)
5. Cairo, Egypt

5 jobs I've had
1. Helper in my mum's catering company
2. Part-time waitress in a shop in Melbourne
3. Managing database and Customer Service in Specialty Dept for SOS KL
4. Worship Coordinator in PJEFC (been holding this position for almost 4 years now)
5. Depends on what else God has in mind in the future...

5 people I tag
1. Yoshua Chua - one of my fellow STM mates. Just trying to give you something 'extra' to blog about. ;)
2. Shern Ren - My friend and fellow musician currently studying in Australia.
3. Doulos - It's been a while since I've chatted with you online. Hope you are doing well in Wales.
4. Ewe Jin - My friend and colleague. Time to get up from your blog 'slumber'. Now you don't have excuse about not knowing what to blog about... hehehe...
5. Nicole and Lee - My sister and brother whom I'm quite fond of... Thought to encourage you in your blog postings. :)

In Sickness...

It's been an up and down week for me. To be frank, it's been more down than up as I spend the week hovering between very sick and sick-but-on-the-brink of recovery. I hate being sick.

One of the things I hate about sickness is that it isolates. I'm not able to go out or hang out with my friends - not only because I'm feeling weak, but also kind of difficult to hang out with people when you don't want to spread your germs to others.So all the while I'm in bed, I hear laughter about me and it can get pretty miserable not to be able to participate and share in the fun.

Another thing about sickness is that it impedes one from doing things that one is normally able to do. I find this rather frustrating- especially when I have lots and lots to do anyways - and would rather be up and about. A friend advised me to just rest and not worry about work. A bit hard to do.. but it did help when I finally decided to take his advice (had no choice by then) and am thankfully much better since then.

The last thing that I hate about being sick is how it affects the physical body and finally the emotions. The worst it gets, the worse I feel - trying to be cheerful is rather difficult in such a situation. Thankfully there's the occasional 'cheering up' through online chats - where it's the probably avenue that I can still connect with the world (When I'm lucid enough).

Bear with me. These rantings have a point. As I was lying in bed yesterday, in one of my most painful moments, I came to this realisation. Sin is like sickness. It isolates us (from God). It stumbles and makes one helpless. At the same time, there is a lack of joy.

As I thought about this, I'm thankful once again for the joy that I found in Christ. Because of Jesus, I am able to have a relationship with my Father in heaven. While I am weak, He is strong. I can have joy because of Christ. He has done all of this for me and more. Once again, I am thankful.

Holiness of God

Enjoyed theology class today. We are moving on to the attributes of God in class and today's highlight was on God's goodness and holiness. Quite a few things stood out and lots to think through(will blog about it in another post- if I still feel inclined to do so) - some of which I will prolly use in my sharing with my musicians as I find it relevant.

One of the things that stood out for me about today's lesson is the excerpt written by Myk Habets about CS Lewis - Narnia Chronicles which I thought to post here:

C.S. Lewis speaks often about good not as a thing but a who. In his stories he trawls his thought world to come up with a suitable character to represent God- and that who is Aslan, the great Lion. Aslan is the Jesus Christ figure in the novels. He is God. He is "the Son of the Emperor over the Sea"-that's how he is described. In a famous scene in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe Mr and Mrs Beaver are describing Aslan. When Susan finds out that Aslan is a lion she asks: "Is he - quite safe?" Susan says. And Mr. Beaver says, "Safe... Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good."

Lewis understood the wild side of God. The holiness of God. Susan wanted safety. She wants Aslan to conform to what she wanted him ot be like. But God cannot conform to our limited notion of him. He is good, and he certainly is not safe - for he is holy! He is God.

The issue of the shoes

Just came back from Cross Cultural Missions class. We had a lively discussion in class today. As always, I enjoyed the class -especially whenever our lecturer gives us scenarios and challenges our thinking. I like the fact that he is not afraid to take us 'out of the box' especially when it comes to examining issues relating to the poor and the local church.

Today was no different as he gave us the following scenarios to ponder...

Scenario 1:
You have two pair of shoes and you know someone else who have none. What would you do?
Some of the class responded that they might give a pair away. Others responded by saying that they would take them out to buy new shoes.

Scenario 2:
What if the shoes that you owned were Nike shoes? Would you be willing to give that away? Or would you keep it and take the guy and buy him some cheap shoes...

Scenario 3:
What if you decide not to give the person anything? Would that be a sin in accordance to the Scripture?

Scenario 4:
You have those 2 pair of shoes and you saw a pair of Reebok shoes that you want and your birthday is around the corner. You pray to God that you will get it for your birthday. Somehow the money comes and you are able to buy those pair of shoes. Do you think that God really answered your prayer?

Further questions:
If you
a) decide not to give your pair of shoes to those who are in need AND in accordance to the Bible, sin in not doing so
b) Then you pray for a new pair of shoes and somehow got it,
Would it mean that it was not God who answer your prayers in the first place?
Could it be possible that it was the devil who gave you the pair of shoes - in order for you to keep on being blinded and being self centered that you do not feel guilty in not giving to others???

What do you think?

Quote about pain

"Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional." - Rev Edmund Chan, Senior Ps of Covenant EFC.

Engkau Di Dalamku - GMB

Was just going through some of my BM(Bahasa Malaysia) songs to figure if there was any that I could use on Sundays. Quite liked this one.




Kaulah penulis hidupku
(You are the author of my life)
Kau membuat segalanya baru
(You make all things new)
Engkau di dalamku dan ku ada dalam-Mu
(You are in me and I am in You)
Tak ada yang take mungkin bagi-Mu
(There is nothing impossible for You)

Ku Dicipta untuk-Mu
(I was created for You)
Untuk membawa harum nama-Mu
(To glorify Your name)
Engkau di dalamku dan ku ada dalam-Mu
(You are in me and I am in You)
Kini kudatang mencari wajah-Mu
(I now come and seek Your face)

Mengasihi-Mu selalu dengan segenap hatiku
(To love You always with all my heart)
Mencintai seluruh perbuatan-Mu
(To love all that you do)
Mengabdikan hidupku sesuai rencana-Mu
(Enslave my life according to Your plans)
Ku mahu menyembah-Mu sampai akhir hayatku
(I want to worship You till the end of my life)

Kau memahami hatiku
(You understand my heart)
Hanya Kau yang mengertiku selalu
(It's only You who always understand me)
Engkau di dalamku dan ku ada dalam-Mu
(You are in me and I am in You)
Kini kudatang mencari wajah-Mu
(I now come and seek Your face)

Ramblings...

Another Sabbath has come and gone. Thought to do some work today and finish up an assignment - but ended up resting most of today as my body has been feeling rather achy, my throat scratchy and have been sneezing throughout the day. *sigh* This constant weather change from cold to hot and cold again is not helping. I already can't afford to fall sick anymore- have a long week ahead and much on the 'to do' list for this week - assignments to finish, leading worship, class presentation, sharing in a Cell Group and chairing a meeting with my musicians on top of the usual classes. I'm reminded about how much I need to continue to depend on God - especially as it seems that my plans have not been going the way I've intended in the last week.

One of my personal highlights is that the last couple of days has been good for me as I hear news from my family in Egypt. Still miss them a lot and am so excited about the stuff I hear that they are doing. My church friends in Egypt has also been sending news and it's great to be able to still keep in contact with them (despite the occasional language barrier). I was also reminded again about how they celebrate Easter at a different time from us - apparently they will be celebrating it during end of April. In so many ways, I wish I could be there with them but am still glad nevertheless that I can be a part of their journey. Their walk with God continually challenges mine and help me to go on in these days where He is continually shaping me.

Quote

“Love always involves responsibility, and love always involves sacrifice. And we do not really love Christ unless we are prepared to face His task and to take up His Cross. . . .” - William Barclay

Reflections for Good Friday 2008

Earlier today, someone in church prayed about how we as Christians have sometimes become desensitised to what Christ has done for us on the cross and asked God to make it real again. Good Friday, Easter and Christmas have become merely another event.

As the prayer went on, it got me thinking - how do we end up making one of the most significant event for a Christian to another mere event? That some how, some way, we just have to contrive some emotion just because it's Good Friday, Easter and Christmas. I shudder to think then what we subconciously think on other days - what Jesus has done for us and the love of God then mean on 'normal' days... Lately, when I talk with some of my young people during Bible study discussions, I find it rather worrying when they tell me honestly that the fact that Jesus died sometimes no longer holds any meaning for them.

I wonder if our lifestyles have a great part to do with it. I wonder if we have let the busyness and demands of life to crowd out our souls. We push God aside instead of allowing Him to govern our lives. Other things seem to matter more - how comfortable we can get, how much money we can get, etc..... We forget to practice dying to ourselves. I wonder then if we no longer become sensitive to the sacrifice of Christ because we ourselves no longer sacrifice. We do things for others of give out of our own convenience.

For me personally, I admit that it's so easy to put my own needs and wants first - instead of helping those who are in need around me. I was joking with my friend the other day that sometimes "when it rains, it floods". Somehow, people seem to need help when I'm already drowning with heaps of stuff. It's so easy to push those who are in need aside. I forget that I live no longer for myself but for Christ.

STM had the stations of the cross this year to encourage us to reflect on the footsteps of Christ to the cross. Regretfully, I was not able to participate as I was sick in bed. Nevertheless, I was able to think and pray (when I was awake) through the work of Christ and listen to some of the songs that I posted up earlier to prepare my heart for this weekend ahead. A friend of mine who shared some insights about Peter denying Christ also got me thinking.

Christ has died for me. I cannot follow Him merely by words. By doing so, His dying becomes merely another event, another ritual. To what extent am I willing to sacrifice for Him- will I be willing to give up my life? Or will I be like Peter, professing Christ's deity but when the time comes, will I deny my Lord? I, who have seen His grace and mercy in my life over and over again - will I still choose to put my life over His in both the small things and the big things of life?

I can only honestly say- I have so much more to learn, so much more that is lacking, so much farther to go. Yet, by the grace of God, I am what I am. As I remember His grace - if only momentarily, for I seem to forget so easily - the wonder of the life and death and resurrection of Christ washes over me and I can only but worship Him...

New Again

A song that we're(young adults) presenting for Good Friday...



Mother - do not cry for me
All of this is exactly how it's supposed to be
I'm right here, can you hear my voice
My life, my love, my Lord... my baby boy

Chorus:
As they nail me to this tree
Just know the Father waits for me
God how can this be your will
To have your son and my son killed
Whatever happens...whatever you see
Whatever your eyes tell you has become of me
This is not...it's not the end
I am making all things new again

I remember when you were born
In that manger where I first held you in my arms
So many miracles and lives you've changed
And this world repays you how, with all this pain

To go or not to go...

Am thinking of going for a holiday after this semester is over for a couple of days... Hmm... To go or not to go.. that is the question...

Quote about Truth

"Truth does not change lives. Truth applied does." - Rev Edmund Chan, Covenant EFC

The Weekend

This weekend is almost over and it has left me with lots of food for thought and challenges personally. Several highlights:-

1. EFCM Conference- all the EFC churches in Malaysia gathered together at my church this weekend for a conference. The speaker Rev Edmund Chan was an awesome speaker. I liked the fact that he not only is he an excellent communicator, he was also theologically quite solid. Even better, he spoke with authority as he evidently internalised what he challenged the congregation with - reading the Word and praying. I was deeply encouraged by some of the things that he shared and by his life. I will try to post up some of it in the coming days (after my assignment on 'inerrancy' is completed).

2. Have been praying for a friend that the Lord seems to have placed a special burden in my heart for. There have been times when I've felt helpless and have wanted to help this friend more. Though I've not gotten any solid answers, I'm glad to see that God is answering prayers in small ways over this weekend. It's been an encouragement to me to keep on praying and keep on depending on God.

3. Managed to finally meet up with a friend that I've been playing 'cat and mouse' game for the last 3 months. Realised how much I missed hanging out with her. It was good to just catch up and encourage one another. I really loved the time where I just played on her piano and the two of just sang songs of worship together - it was lovely. Being with her always challenges me to work out my calling as I am continually molded and shaped while in seminary. God has called her to be in business while He has called me into full time ministry. I've been reminded again and again that I need to keep on letting God to work on my life- no matter how painful or difficult - so that I may be able to minister to hers. This working of God is not merely for me. It's so that He may be glorified through me too...

Just As I Am

Was watching this a couple of days ago... Thought that it'd was appropriate as we move into 'Holy Week'.

Quote

"I'm exercising so I can eat more." - a colleague

Some people just want weird things....

"I want her to hate me so much that she will leave me alone" - a friend of mine..

Happy Birthday...

Today's the birthday of someone I've had a love-hate relationship for a long time. Nevertheless, this person has had quite an impact on my life. Though our relationship has not been easy over the years - and it still has it ups and downs - this person has taught me a lot. This person has taught me that forgiveness is a process. This person has taught me to love those that are difficult is a choice. Through this person's life, I've learnt that God has truly created us all different and that difference is not necessarily bad though it can cause a lot of misunderstandings at times. Through this person, I've also learnt to depend a lot more on God when people fail.

Happy birthday.. Though it's been hard to say this sometimes, I thank God for your being a part of my life...

Just for laughs...

Just to provide a little relief for my fellow seminarians who are doing their assignments... *grin*

Taken from: Reverendfun.com

Liz and Chris are married!

In the excitement of the elections, I totally forgot to post this up earlier... :p My best uni mate Liz has gotten married this past Saturday(8th March - election day) in Melbourne, Australia! Am sad that I couldn't attend the wedding but am so happy for her and her husband(Chris) - both of whom I've known for a number of years now. I wish them all the best as they embark on their journey of life together as husband and wife. I will always remember the times we had together - studying together, playing together, laughing together, avoiding stalking from certain people, fighting, seeing Chris coming to Christ, etc.... I was especially glad that I could spend some time in January this year with Liz when she came over to Malaysia.

Thank You God for both of them. Thank You for Liz who's been such a blessing a me during our uni days. Thank You for friendship.